Dear World

As the curtains drew back they reveled the big white screen. Darcy squirmed in her seat a little. She hated the seats at the theatre just as much as she hated the previews. Although they did give her plenty of time to reflect on everything that her mind was still trying to process.

This week had been really hard on her fragile soul. Sitting on both sides of her was her really good friends. Voices in her head were constantly asking…do they know? The voices were very persistent and just wouldn't let her be. She felt like screaming out but knew that wouldn't stop them. They always liked to bug her never giving her anytime to really think about life. Why were they still lurking about in the dark corners of her mind? Why had they not left her? It was them that had convinced her at the beginning of the week that the only way out was through death.

Her thoughts wandered back to the knife sitting in her bottom desk drawer. No one knew about it and that's the way she wanted to keep it. She rubbed her arm while thinking about the pain she had inflicted upon herself. It wasn't the first time and it wasn't the last.

Suddenly the loud clapping of everyone around her disturbed her thoughts. The movie had started, had it been that long already. Forcing herself to pay attention to the movie she found herself relating things in it to her life. Near death, lose of love, pain, anger, any little thing she could relate to herself. Her mind wandered yet again to the way out. Why did it have to be so hard on her, all she wanted was a little peace of mind? Did she really have to get it this way?

Visions of a tall building danced through her head. Maybe that's the key out Darcy thought. Since I'm no good at inflicting enough pain on myself to actually die I shall try a different method one that will be sure to work. Shifting some more in her seat she glanced over at her friends. Would they care if she were gone? Would anyone even come to her funeral? Life had been so hard and she was going to quit. Even though she was taught that you should never quit she was going to.

People around her burst out laughing leaving her thoughts disturbed and unfinished. Even though she no longer knew what was going on she laughed along not wanting anyone to suspect something was up. No longer caring about the movie, why bother she was going to die soon anyways, she went back to planning. The hours seem to go by so quickly her friends where now ushering her out of the theatre and onto the street. Her mind wandered the whole way home. Leaving her friends behind she made for her room. Sitting down at her desk she took up a pen and paper:

Dear World,

You were cruel and unjust to me. My life has been a living hell and I'm taking this time to tell the whole world why. When I was little no one accepted me. I was an outcast the type no one wanted to make friends with.

As I aged I slowly made friends only trusting a select few for I did not like being hurt. I like to thank the few friends that stuck it out with me through my hard and troubled life but I can no longer be there with you for I need to stop this pain and suffering.

To my dear family. Yes I am aware that I was and always will be the black sheep. I do not blame you for occasionally forgetting me or ignoring me. I was a quiet child and I love you all dearly. Kelly my dear older sister I do not blame you for the years of abuse, the bruises, broken nose, and handprints on my back, or shattered dreams. I love you now and forever as my sister and I will never blame you.

Now world as I matured and grew I began to understand that you are cruel and I need to look out for myself. But I did a poor job of that too. I was pushed around and taken advantage all the time. When I was 17 I found someone I thought was the love of my life. As I write this I am crying. I forgive him for all that he has done but the memories still plague me. I do not blame you for not thinking before acting, so unjustly taking my purity and innocence from me, and making me mature so quickly. I still do love you but things have change and you plague my mind not as someone that loves me but as the one that took that special something from me when I was so unwilling.

Well world I have much more pain and suffering but I am not going to plague you with all the small stuff. I'm sorry world that I let you down and I couldn't keep up with your ever-changing cruel ways. You've caused this one humble soul enough pain and suffering. I forgive you for that and now it is time to let my soul rest in peace.

Goodbye World,

Darcy

Setting the pen down Darcy rereads her final words. Yes they shall do what more can she say about her life as cruel as it was to her and now it is time to put it all to rest. She sets it down on her desk, puts on her coat and shoes. It is time for her to go now.

Standing outside her door she doesn't bother to lock it she just neatly leaves her keys by it. Won't matter much anymore she doesn't need them she won't be coming back. Slowly she makes her way down the road to a place she knows well.

The look of the large apartment building sends shivers down her spine. She slowly climbs the stairs like has done so many times making her way to the unlocked roof door. Darcy stops and thinks for a minute while the thoughts process in her mind. Stepping up to the edge she gives one last look around. The sun is setting now and it brings a tear to her eye as she steps in the middle of nowhere. How can something so beautiful be so cruel?