Deciphering the Bloom Ch. 04

David regarded his lap and forced himself to speak, "Dirty."

The two syllable word decimated Nicolao's resolution to have a rational well thought out conversation initiated by Dee. Every declaration he had made since meeting him had been on instinct and passion. His emoting hadn't scared Dee away yet, and being circumspect was overrated.

Nic reached for both David's hands and wrapped his own around them. "Yours is the purest heart I've ever met. I can't pretend to know what you feel. You've been abused by the one who should have protected you. Ben is a vile thing, hardly worthy of being called a man. He used your body to fund his habit, until you found a way to pay for your own home. He tried to break your soul when you refused to sell your body. You are a wonder to behold."

David yearned to believe Nic, but years of disappointment and loneliness still held firm.

"You are stronger than I am in so many ways Dee."

David looked at the much larger man incredulously.

"I would have given in, not finished school or fallen into drugs. You kept yourself safe, and you kept moving forward. Somewhere inside you know you aren't dirty, or disgusting. You locked your faith away with your pain. I know it because I see it. You don't really need anything from me. But for right now, if you want to, when you feel like those monsters are bearing down and you're not strong enough to fight them off my strength is yours. When you look at yourself and see anything other than a man most worthy of grace, my vision of you is yours. Anything I have and all that I am is yours, you won't need it for long. Because one day you will be able to leave your hurt in the empty safe place. All of the parts of you that got locked away for safe keeping you'll set free. When that happens, whether it's my family, or me, you will be able to handle that look you feared with at shrug. You'll know yourself so well, that no one will be able to shake your faith in you."

David listened. When Nic let their hands fall he could only look in wonder at the man who shunned perfection, and he smiled. If he believed nothing else, David believed at his core that Nic loved him, faults and all.

"I can't believe I almost walked out of here and messed this up. But I've been waiting for this to be over from the moment it started. Even when you came for me," David's voice got broke, and he stopped to keep himself in check.

Nicolao watched the dimples fade as David uttered, 'when you came for me'. Nic remembered the night in the tub when his battered love said no one had come for him ever. How long had Dee been waiting for someone, anyone to return for him; to save him? The realization lanced through his chest with painful clarity as to how much David had endured.

"Even when you got me out of trailer I convinced myself it would end soon. Then when I was close to thinking we were real Jeremy came here, the weekend the kids stayed over. He accused me then of using you. I don't know Nic. He said he wanted to take care of you and that I was deadweight. I should have told you how I felt, or that he came but he was so... whole. I thought you'd be better off with him."

"That bastard is a lot of things, but whole isn't one of them, love. I knew he came to you, but I was waiting for you to tell me. I don't care what he said, the simple truth is I don't love him, I never could, because he isn't you."

With that Nic pulled David into his lap. He needed the contact. He settled back with Dee securely nestled in his arms.

"Then the dreams started again. I used to have them all the time right after... I was so scared you'd find out, and not want me. Then your family was so good to me, and I started questioning if they would welcome me that way if they knew. But Nerina came in the garden. And she was everything I was scared of, because she knew. She said Jeremy had hired a private detective, and was going to tell you about me if I didn't disappear. She accused me of trying to get money or stuff from your family. But she also said you weren't strong enough to carry me. She worried that I'd hurt you the way August's death did. I thought if you found out, no, I thought if you knew what I really was it would hurt you that way, so I was going to leave."

"What do you imagine you really are?"

David emitted a harsh breath, the words came quickly, "A worthless, dirty, cocksucking whore, who dragged a lifetimes worth of filth in your life."

Nicolao's grasp tightened as he buried his face in David's neck. The pain in his chest was spreading and all he could do was hold onto the one who was most precious to him.

"I'm sorry Dee, God I'm sorry you've been afraid and I could have helped. I should've asked, but I wanted you to tell me on your own. None of what you said is true. Not a word of it. My sister is a greedy, selfish woman and I will deal with her. But know that even if she tells everyone in my family, and any or all of them take her view, it doesn't matter. You are my David, my choice above all else."

David did not know if it was the declaration, or the fact that Nic was crushing the air from him, but he felt lightheaded.

"I love you so much it scares me more than anything."

The pain in his chest forgotten Nic slowly eased his hold and pulled back to look at David's face, his throat was suddenly dry.

"Why scared, love?"

David grappled with himself for a moment. He hadn't meant to say it out loud, thrown in with all of the bad, but he had, to hell with timing.

"Scared because no matter what you say, if I lose you now there will be nothing left of me, I couldn't survive it." David held Nic's eyes.

Their truths were displayed, unadorned and naked in each other's eyes. They were more than what they had been moments before, they were new, born of the shared sorrows of their yesterdays, now unshackled and unbound from fear.

"No worries, you will not lose me, I love you David Bradley Collins."

"And I love you Nicolao Felix Evangelista."

David brought his lips to Nicolao's. Nic opened his mouth and let him explore, he responded tentatively to him at first. The kiss was languid and sweet, a kiss full of the rare gift they freely bestowed on each other.

"Who told you my middle name was Felix?" Nic inquired as they sat forehead to forehead, sharing breath.

"Vess, she wanted to know if I could get away with calling you that."

"Damn Vess and you could."

"I know, but I won't. You are my Nic. Perfect to me, perfect for me, my boyfriend Nicolao." David recited the words of his answered prayer.

Nicolao greeted the declaration with a smile. He was unable to deny the perfection David spoke of, since he was holding perfection in his arms.

They put away the food and put their dirty clothes from the trip in the laundry room. David was quiet and appreciative of Nicolao's allowing him the break from talking, though Nic would touch him every few minutes. He had hurt him by trying to leave, and he vowed he would not do it again.

The duo was bone weary by the time they made it to the bed. They stripped and welcomed the feel of skin upon skin beneath the covers of their bed. They were asleep within minutes of their heads falling on the pillows. When David awoke thrashing Nic patiently waited for him to quiet himself, and held him as he told him about the nightmare. He fell asleep safe in Nicolao's arms; he was awakened hours later by his cell phone, alone.

Nicolao was startled to see Dee enter his workout room. He was adorable with his hair tousled and eyes still sleep glazed. Nic put the weight down; he had been working off steam for over forty minutes. He was instantly aware he could have soothed his frazzled nerves by going back to bed and holding his David.

"Good morning, love. I didn't think you'd be up yet." He walked over and placed a morning kiss on his lips.

David had on pajamas and Nic's robe, "I didn't wake up; I got a call from ma."

Nicolao's jaw clenched. "That bitch ran to ma and pop, unbelievable," he declared.

"Don't call her that, she's your sister."

"I regret my choice of words only because you don't like cursing, but understand she is not my sister."

David peered up at the scowling man that meant so much to him, and grabbed his hand.

"Come on, I have coffee on."

David pulled him into the living room. On the counter the laptop was open.

"Sit there, while I make our coffee." David instructed, pointing at a stool in front of the laptop.

Nic sat, his eyes followed David. When did he get so bossy?

"Nico?"

Nicolao's eyes snapped to the screen. Hilaria's face was staring at him.

"Ma?"

"Nico, I called your phone but you did not answer."

"I turned it off ma, and this is between me and Nerina."

"Nico, you cannot say it is between you and Nerina when your sister is crying."

"Ma, don't you think there is a bit of a problem with a thirty year old woman calling you crying?"

Hilaria's brows knitted as she considered the query, "No, we are a family and we will work through this. That is why I had David call me on the Skype, if you will not see us on the Skype we will drive to you."

"No, don't drive here. It's not necessary, and it's just Skype ma, not the Skype, or the Google." He gave his mother a hint of smile.

"The Skype, the Google, the Facepages is not important. Why did you call Nerina this morning and say such things to her?"

"I told her she was not my sister; it's a simple enough statement."

David stood next to Nicolao as he handed him his coffee. Apparently, while he had been sleeping Nic had made an early morning call to his sister. He was heartened by Nic's desire to protect him and punish anyone who hurt him. But this was also a blow to the Evangelistas, a riff between Nic and Nerina would cause every one of them pain.

"I asked you why Nicolao."

Nic blew out a long breath, "Do you have any idea what I went through last night because of her and her chicanery? Did she tell you what she did?"

"Nico I was only trying to protect you!" Nerina appeared behind Hilaria, with pop's hands on her shoulders, unsuccessfully trying to restrain her.

"Protect me! Do you think I believe that, you conniving sow? I could have lost David, lost him, all so I'd be with Jeremy? Then what? He has money then I'd have money and that is one less person you need to compete with for what you squeeze out of ma and pop?" Anger poured off of Nic, but mostly David sensed the injury his sister had caused.

"Nico!" Hilaria reprimanded him.

"Did he tell you there is proof? Before you decide I'm wrong call Jeremy!" Nerina exclaimed.

Resting his coffee on the counter he pulled David closer to him, in view of the camera.

"Cállate! I know dammit, and I almost lost him, and I will not forgive you. Not that you asked for it. But it's simple, you are not my sister. I choose David, and I am telling you to go to hell." Nicolao's voice was level and emotionless. The tone conveyed a finality that sent chills down David's spine, and the three pairs of eyes staring at them through the screen.

"I'm sorry." David offered.

"Love no..." Nic began

David smiled gently, turned and cupped his cheek in his hand.

"You don't have to do this for me, I won't let you. You won't answer any questions to protect me. Even if you don't forgive her, I do. You almost lost me, but more important, because of last night I found myself."

David turned back to the camera, "I'm sorry because this is about me, and my secrets. But I can't have that be a problem."

Nic knew what David was about to do. He tugged him in front of him on the stool, so he stood between his legs and he could wrap his arms around him from the back. In his opinion, peace with Nerina wasn't worth it, but he would honor David's decision.

"The last two days at your home were among the best of my life. Nic's been giving me better and better days. I haven't had a mother in almost fourteen years and ma you welcomed me right into your family. But pop, in the garden when you called me son... when you called me son it was a sound I had never heard. Twenty years and I had never heard any man call me son, and I want to thank you for that. I should have thanked you then."

Natanaele cleared his throat, "You're welcome David."

David smiled and Nic placed a quick kiss on his dimpled cheek.

"After you left the garden Nerina came outside. She accused me of being after your money because Vess was talking about a car and ma the trip to Argentina. She said Jeremy had hired a private detective, and knew some things about my past. I was told to leave or Nicolao would be told. I was such a coward; I tried to leave last night." David paused; last night seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I was gang raped three years ago. I was actually probably sold by my uncle for the night. He's a heroin addict and would do that from time to time. But I'm not a whore, or a hustler. I was a kid." David surprised himself. He had not stumbled on his words, or broken down in tears. But if Nicolao's arms had not been around him he would not have remained upright, as his legs began to shake.

"Ay, mi niño dulce! Que estalló con la vida, incluso a través de su dolor. Nicolao es socorrer a su corazón. Dav..."

"Ma," Nic interrupted, "Dee doesn't speak Spanish."

"Ay, please forgive me David, I forgot. We will work on your Spanish before the trip. And thank you for forgiving my daughter. A hungry spirit entered her, and it is never full. She had no right to try and interfere. I do not know how she could think try to use your pain against you. Son, you have had far too much pain." Hilaria explained her eyes wet with tears.

He would have to remember to ask what ma meant with the spirit talk. "I forgive her, eventually Nic will to, she and Jeremy both. They were trying to protect him, in their own way." That earned him a harrumph from Nicolao.

Pop eyed his eldest daughter, when he spoke it was a chilling, quiet voice, "You did that here? To David after we welcomed him in our home and our family? No matter how much we give it is never enough for you. If you would have really looked at him you would see he isn't like you, not a malicious bone in his body. Nerina leave, I have never felt more shame than I do right now. I can't stand to look at you. We'll call you in a few days."

Nerina gasped loudly, "Ma?"

The single word plea for assistance caused Hilaria to shake her head,

"We will see you in a few days Nerina," she confirmed.

Nerina moved in the background, gathering her purse and belongings.

"Now you see, all settled with the Skype and no long drive home," Hilaria declared.

"All settled, but I don't know when I'll be able to let go of this." Nic told her honestly.

"It is alright, David has, and so will you." Hilaria smiled knowingly.

"I'm sorry for all of the trouble boys."

Natanaele's voice was back to normal, David noted with relief. The low menacing voice he and Nic used was far more disturbing that the most raucous screams.

"We will talk to you later. We love you both." Pop continued.

"Love you too pop, ma. Try to have a good day, goodbye." Nic hit the disconnect icon, once their cyber visitors were gone Nic turned David to face him.

"You are the most amazing man."

"Monster's aren't so scary once you pull them out of the dark, huh?" In spite of himself, David's voice was shaky.

Nicolao stared intently into dark blue eyes. He was going to mention it at a later date, but now was better, as usual, with his David. "No, they aren't, but I was thinking that you may want to talk to a therapist, a professional when you think you're ready."

David nodded and Nic pressed his lips to his forehead.

"Come on, our coffee is cold. Let's make breakfast, and decide what to do with the rest of our day." Nic said, grabbing for his chilled coffee.

Nicolao decided on a fruit salad with whole grain bagels.

"Do you want to go to go for a movie, or maybe we can call Breezy and the kids, make a day?" Nic questioned once they were seated at the table.

"I don't want you to go after Jeremy." He announced firmly, ignoring the question.

"I'm not going after anybody, he and I are going to have a little chat."

David shook his head, "A little chat like yours and Nerina's where you called your sister a bitch and disowned her?"

"Love, they were wrong, I don't care how you look at it. There was only the assault and where you come from. I'm sure that cop who came to your room knew Garrett or wasn't an officer at all. The proof was your attack and they wanted to use that against you. Besides that Jeremy may be dangerous, I'm thinking we should cut ties here."

David smiled, "Who says I'd leave town with you?"

Nic chuckled, "Bossy and contrary. You're right; if you want we can live here, I don't care as long as it's you and me."

"Exactly," he sobered, "babe I want to enjoy this for a while. Being with you, in a place where I'm happy. You don't work for Jeremy and I can talk to him, with you there," he added when Nic opened his mouth. "I can't fault him for loving you and trying to keep you."

"Alright, we'll speak to Jeremy, it will be very civilized. But Breezy thinks Jeremy has some unsavory ties, a fight with him wasn't what I was looking for. I will make it clear, again, that I have no interest in him, and you can confirm how understandable it is to be enthralled by me. You two can commiserate."

"Ham!"

They laughed easily, and Nicolao grabbed David's free hand in his. He held on tight as the mirth faded. He was his. David was his David as much as he was his Nicolao. They had a real chance.

David studied him, "I love you Nic."

"I will never tire of hearing you say that, Dee. We are going to be alright you know that?"

"Yeah, if I can learn how to drive, see if I want to try going to college, and I still need a job," David groused.

"My God, it's always going to be something!"

"Happily ever after isn't for people who don't work on it."

"So we are working on happily ever after?" Nic asked, squeezing his hand tighter.

"Yup, no running, no hiding," David spoke with a confidence he did not fully possess, but he had faith that he would grow stronger in his new life.

After breakfast Nic urged him in the bathroom with him. They had not been able to enjoy a bath together in weeks. Nic quickly removed the stubble from his chin while waiting for the tub to fill.

"Hey maybe I should stop shaving like Nate."

"You want a soul patch?"

"I'm capable of growing a goatee!"

"Sure you are babe," David said turning away from him to add more salts to the water, his tone indicating he doubted Nic's claim.

They bathed one another in turn. Both of them admitted the world held no appeal for either of them for the balance of the day, not even shopping.

Sitting with his back against Nic's chest was heaven, David thought of the first time they bathed together. Nic had brought him into his home, unquestioningly, into his life. As cherished as that memory was, it was laced in fear; his entire existence had been controlled by that emotion.

David pulled forward away from Nic and turned. He cocked his head sideways as he took in the sight of the handsomest man he had ever laid eyes on. Nicolao's skin was not as dark as his mother's but his hue was a light nutty brown, and his nipples dark chocolate pebbles, encircled by hair. He had very little body hair, a light covering on his forearms and legs, and the trail that led from his stomach to his trimmed pubic hair.

Nic watched with growing curiosity as David sat motionless and studied him.

"What are you thinking?" Nic asked.

David moved towards him resting his knees on either side of Nic' thighs, "I was thinking about how much I like looking at you." He pushed his hips forward, rubbing his hard member against Nicolao's.