- Incest/Taboo
- Denuding Sol
- Page 2
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» * « Please vote BIG and leave constructive comments. Thanks....
====== 22 hr 0200 8/16/17 === 3727 words ==
09/24/15 seminal image: 3 catch Rach sunning topless in tiny bikini bottom
gck August 17, 2017 [restored missing line and delete extra spaces]
- COMMENTS
LitEroCatover 6 years agoAuthorNot that YOU will see this, but in case others share your thoughts:
How much intro is needed for a short story? FOUR people is too many?
I had considered more foreplay too.
Understand, the start is all TRUE until Sue slid open the glass door. From there, I let the characters write the story and I was just the scribe. Adding more detail FOR the people hasn't worked. My muse even stopped my hands from adding a scene in another story, so I quit doing that!
Anonymousover 6 years agoIntroduction was too short; detail lacking; too many people involved. Brevity is great, but more detail of foreplay needed. Suggest adding chapter to bring out suspense.
Anonymousover 6 years agoYou use very much explicit language - interesting
Anonymousover 6 years agoUmm, probably one who is half naked already and expects to be fully naked soon maybe? It seemed odd that she casually accepts being caught - until we get to the end and learn she planned it. I want friends like her!!!!
LitEroCatover 6 years agoAuthorIf you want an answer leave me an email @.
-2 comments questioned 'thigh-groin' area - for clarity, that is not, nor is it ever called her pussy.
- I restored a line that clarifies that is the pale edge of her tan line and needed more protection (also an excuse to 'innocently' touch the area close to her pussy
- Rach's invite to strip is her awkward way to offset her being caught topless (as she planned)
