Desire

for D.

While I was still at school, in the time before my marriage, I worked as a lab assistant in the public computer lab. One day I received this message from a girl named Kathy, who was just checking out people with unusual handles. Mine happened to be set at "Starship Capt." that day and she wanted to know if I was a Star Trek fan. Silly question.

I finally met her in real life a few days later when she came into the lab office asking for help on her BASIC project for CS 114. She was a few inches shorter than me, with long wavy brown hair, deep sea-green eyes, luscious cherry lips, a nice bust (not too big), and a behind that made it hard for me to calmly deal with her problem. I sat at her terminal and we worked on her program for nearly an hour (my supervisor came by at least twice and reminded me not to spend too much time helping one person). We were sitting in the far corner of Room F, a small room in the back of the main lab. It was dark outside and the lab was fairly empty, even though it was only just after seven. As we worked, Kathy was questioning me about what other TV shows I liked, what kind of music I listened to, if I had a girlfriend, etc. This last one really got my attention and it began to seem like maybe she was interested in me, though I didn't know why. I decided to test the waters.

"Hmm?" I responded, seeming interested only in my job.

"I asked you if you had a girlfriend," she repeated.

"Not really," I said. "I haven't been too lucky with women lately." This wasn't a complete fabrication, though it had been some time since that night with Melissa. Then again, that night only went so far. Hmmm, maybe I wasn't so far from the truth after all.

Kathy seemed to react to my statement, moving a little closer and feigning (I hoped) an interest in the data on the screen.

"That's too bad." She paused. "Are you doing anything tonight after work?"

I was surprised that she took the hint so quickly and I blushed. I can't remember what I said, but I think it was something stupid. Something on the order of "Only if it's with you." After a comment like that it's amazing to me that we ended up at the Olive Garden together an hour later.

Kathy and I talked until they closed. We discussed everything -- school, religion, politics, her career goals, my music -- even sex. That topic lasted until the end of the evening. I found out that she hadn't had a decent relationship in months either and would burst if she couldn't find a guy. She didn't seem very shy about discussing her sex life, but she didn't go into details like what positions she liked or whether or not she swallowed either. She liked snuggling and long, quiet evenings with her lovers. She didn't always have to make love right away either, as she had the patience to snuggle all night and take her lover in the morning. It was becoming obvious to me that this was a woman guided, not by her lust but, by her desire for love. She was a sensualist who knew the benefits of a long, drawn out night of soft kisses, tender caresses, and slow, methodical intimacy. So I wasn't surprised when she said she preferred passive, gentle lovemaking to heavy, aggressive "bed shaking", as she put it. I was definitely intrigued.

They threw us out of the restaurant around eleven, so I drove her back to campus. When I pulled up in front of her dorm, she smiled at me.

"Thanks for taking me out. I really had a good time."

She reached out and touched my cheek. I took her hand and pulled it to my side, forcing her to lean toward me. Our eyes were locked until she felt my hand on the back of her neck, then she closed them and lightly parted her mouth. I closed my eyes and moved my mouth toward hers. I felt a swell of warmth flow over me as I felt her plump, soft lips touch mine. I had to adjust my position because the seatbelt was still fastened and I couldn't press against her any further without choking myself. I broke the kiss and unhooked the belt. I looked into her eyes again and she leaned into my chest, snuggling her head against me. I bent my head down and kissed her cheek as I ran my fingers through her soft hair. There was a pause that went on for seconds and it seemed like neither of us was going to say anything.

"I really liked that...Kathy," I finally mustered the energy to say, still stroking her head. "Umm hmm." (I was choked, I had to clear my throat.) "Can I kiss you again?" I asked, my voice shaking.

She didn't respond verbally, but tilted her head back and offered me her mouth. I kissed her warmly and, as I remembered to do, gently. I made no quick movements, though I had this urge to press her back into the seat and tear open her shirt. Maybe Kathy could teach me to channel my desire into something more sensual and less aggressive.

We finally broke the kiss and held each other for several minutes, talking about things in general. She finally saw that it was near midnight and said she had a psych class at eight in the morning. She opened the car door.

"I'll drop you a note on the computer. Maybe we can get together again." She started to leave, then stopped and added, "You can cook some Chinese for me."

I smiled. "Deal," I said.

Kathy slammed the door shut and I watched her walk away, staring at her beautiful behind and thinking about how wonderful the evening had been. She turned around quickly and waved me on, but I waited until she was inside the building before I drove off. Something inside me, something more than just common courtesy, wanted to make sure she was safe, and I wondered what was happening to my life. I wondered if Kathy was destined to mean more to me than what Melissa had meant. Melissa, despite all I had felt for her, didn't work out. I had wanted her in my life, but guilt over losing her virginity drove her away. I never did see her again. Now there was Kathy. A simple and inauspicious beginning, perhaps, but my heart was already thinking of the future. Thinking a lot...

I received a computer message from Kathy three days later. When I didn't hear from her right away I became concerned that she might have had second thoughts because of my looks (not many women want to date a guy who is on the heavy side), but I was obviously wrong -- she was definitely impressed with me. I had her over that Friday and cooked up a batch of General Tso's Chicken and my special Thai Spring Rolls, which she loved. Things got even better from there.

We went out quite often and spent our time talking about everything, including how much we liked being with each other. We found ourselves talking to each other a lot -- on the phone, over the computer, in the halls -- though she told me she didn't want to bother me at the lab after what my supervisor said. I understood, but assured her she shouldn't not come to me if she needed help or just to say hello. I really just wanted to see her at every opportunity.

What surprised me was the fact that our physical relationship was pretty much limited to what we had done that first night. We would often hold each other for hours at a time, gently kissing and caressing. One night was spent sleeping in each other's arms in my recliner (my back nearly killed me, but what price love?). I shocked myself with stoic restraint, curbing my urge to take things further. Maybe I had learned my lesson with Melissa.

One night, about a month after we had started going out, I found her waiting outside the lab when I was leaving. She waited patiently for me to close the door. She grinned because she knew what was about to happen, though I was oblivious. She was so sexy that night. She even seemed to walk seductively, her ass moving gently side to side as she walked away from me. I followed, of course. We walked across the parking lots to Lafayette Hall, through the complex, and then on to her building. The whole time I was curious about what she was doing. She punched the button for the elevator and the doors opened almost instantly. She walked in and I had to follow. When the doors closed, she slid her arms around me and looked up into my eyes. Gently I bent my head down and touched my lips to hers. Her mouth was soft and sweet. God I felt so warm. It was only a few seconds before she opened her mouth and slid the tip of her tongue in. I was shaking from being so nervous, but Kathy's gentle French kiss seemed to calm me some. I started to raise my hand toward her breast, something I hadn't done with her before, but stopped when the elevator door began to open.

Kathy led me to the stairs, down two flights, and then down the hall to her room, then unlocked the door and ushered me in. The room was dark, except for one small lamp on her desk. I felt her hands on my shoulders as she slowly turned me around, then we continued our kiss from the elevator. Her tongue, a little less gentle this time, seemed to desire more from me than before. I slid my tongue into her mouth and she moaned from the pleasure. She exerted a little pressure on me and I went back onto her bed. She kicked off her shoes and knelt beside me, then positioned herself so she was straddling me, her crotch rubbing firmly against mine. This seemed unusually aggressive for Kathy, but I wasn't going to argue with her.

She took my hands and began to kiss them. She ran my fingers over her face and neck, then on down to her bust. I wasn't sure how far she wanted me to go, so I began to rub the sides of her breasts through the fabric of her shirt and bra. She arched her back a little, seeming to enjoy my caresses. I took a chance and began to unbutton her blouse, my fingers trembling intensely. She grabbed my hands and pushed the down to my chest. I figured that I had gone too far, but then she continued to unbutton her blouse for me. When she finished, she pulled the rest of the blouse out of her pants and then pulled the top off altogether. She was wearing a frosted white-lace bra, which pleasantly exposed the upper parts of her breasts. I gently reached up with my hand and began to trace a line from her cheek, down her chin and her neck, then down her bra strap, over the edge of her bra cup, and finally to the point where her cups met. I then slowly spread my hand out over her left breast and began to massage it softly through the lacy white cloth of her underwear. Kathy moaned softly as I began to stroke her nipple to erection. Then I began to cup her other breast with my other hand.

Kathy sat up, rubbing her crotch harder against my erection, which was now firm in my pants. My hands were stretched out over both of her breasts. I tried lifting up on the bottom of her bra, in an attempt to pull it up. She reached around behind her back and unhooked it for me, then let it fall away in my hands. I dropped the bra somewhere on the floor as I looked at her full, soft breasts. Creamy white, unblemished, and firm, with perfect erect nipples. All thoughts about her not taking me seriously were dispelled when I realized that I was doing this to her. I was causing her to be excited. Despite the number of relationships I had had, part of me still thought no one could really ever be turned on by me, but I was finally beginning to believe in myself.

Kathy bent over a little, her beautiful breasts wavering only inches from my mouth. I instinctively licked my lips, then placed my mouth softly over her right nipple and areola. My lover gasped lightly as I took it into my mouth. She placed her hand on the back of my head, holding my mouth against her bosom. Meanwhile, she continued to rub her crotch against the bulge in my pants. I knew she had to be so excited that she was getting very wet between her legs; her clitoris swollen from rubbing against my erection.

As I suckled liked an infant, my right hand moved slowly from her other breast toward her pants. I moved it gently over the soft bulge between her legs. I pressed a little harder, which solicited a gasp from Kathy's mouth, then I pulled my hand back and slid it into her pants, but over the silky softness of her panties. I could feel the soft hairs of her mound underneath, begging to be touched, and the heavy wetness of her excitement. I stroked her for many minutes, at the same time switching my mouth back and forth between her breasts. Finally, I pulled my hand back and slid it into her underwear. Her mound of silky hairs was slippery wet against my fingers. I wanted to go further, but I had probably taken it too far already.

"Oh God," she moaned in a whisper. "Please...Pat. More."

Kathy's begging pushed me along. I began to caress the outline of her lips, stroking the outside of her labia until they blossomed. I worked my fingers slowly back and forth into her vagina, each time penetrating deeper. I did this for several minutes, feeling the smoothness of her vaginal wall and listening to her moan about my attentions to her genitals. She began to lightly grind herself against my hand and body.

"Uhhn...ohhhh. Pat...I want you to see me. Take off my pants, please."

I pulled my hand away from her mound as Kathy arched her back, allowing me to undo her pants. She then twisted around on the bed, lay on her back, lifted her behind and, with my help, slipped out of the remainder of her clothes (except her socks, which we both found incredibly sexy). She lay facing me, naked and smiling. Her hand gently touched the soft curls of brown hair at the top of her mound. She was very beautiful down there, with her thick hair and tender, well-formed labia. I could also see her inner labia, having opened from the gently caressing my fingers had given her. I watched as she slid her third and fourth fingers down over her mound and pulled them back up between her lips. She was looking down at herself, moaning softly. As her wet fingers moved around her clitoris, she looked back up at me, closing her eyes in pleasure. Pleasure that she wanted me to give her.

I smiled back and leaned over to kiss her softly. I moved slowly and nuzzled her breasts for a while before continuing my downward journey. As I got closer to her mound, she began to feel hot and prickly. My mouth slipped past her navel and began to kiss the top part of her soft, brown pubic triangle. She spread her legs slowly as my mouth moved down over her wet mound of Venus. The tip of my tongue slid down partway into the cleft of her labia at the top. She shuddered as it darted around her clitoris. I wrapped my arms under and then over her thighs, which helped her hold her legs apart. I slid my tongue down all the way to her inner labia, then gently into her vagina. My lips came to press fully against her genitals, my tongue at least two inches inside of her. Kathy was slowly rolling her hips and ass, as well as arching her back and head, as she moaned my name softly. I didn't make any sudden or deliberate movements; nothing to disturb the gentleness with which I was giving her pleasure.

As Kathy ran her fingers over my head, holding it between her legs, I pulled a hand back and slid one finger deep into her vagina. I pulled it out a few seconds later and slowly, but in time to my licking, began to move that finger back and forth into her anus. Kathy felt electricity shoot up her spine as I touched this forbidden part of her anatomy. After a short time, my finger was all the way up inside her rectum, moving in time to the massaging movements of my tongue and mouth on her genitals. I did this all slowly and gently over several minutes but, nevertheless, she felt the pressure of orgasm building within her loins. Slowly she rocked her hips, keeping her actions as tender as possible. It was building...building...BUILDING!!

"Oh, oh, please..." she cried, softly. "Oh, oh, yes..." She fell into a short sleep. While she rested I removed my shirt, then lay back and pulled her bare breasts gently against me. She kissed me again and again, but then rested again.

We lay together, letting our passions cool. She had her head on my chest and was gently stroking my erection through my pants. Over the course of the next hour, interspersed with kisses and the gentle suckling of my nipples, she unbuttoned my slacks and slid down the zipper. She seemed to be getting her energy back, so I lifted my hips and she pulled my pants off. The very noticeable bulge in my underwear excited her. She rubbed the cotton cloth of my briefs for a few minutes before she reached her fingers under the elastic and pulled them down past my socked feet, then tossed them onto our mutual clothes pile. She looked back to my groin, staring at my fully erect phallus. To this day I don't know what she was thinking about at that moment.

Kathy lay beside me. I began to suckle her breast as she wrapped her hand around the length of my penis and started to stroke it back and forth. She pulled her breast away from my mouth as she moved hers down, kissing my chest, then on toward my erection. When she arrived I felt her begin to stroke my pubic hair with her fingers. Then I felt them on my testicles. Her tongue gently flicked my scrotum just before she planted several kisses on my penis. I watched as she kissed slowly up the underside of the shaft of my organ. Suddenly, but gently she took it into her mouth. I felt such a warmth surround the head of my phallus that I almost ejaculated immediately, but I was able to manage a little bit of control. Then she stopped sucking me and wrapped her hand around the base of my penis, squeezing lightly. My head became swollen and this time she took it all the way into her throat.

"Uh...ohhh, Kathy...ohhhh. Honey...ohhh...that feels so wonderful," I moaned softly to her. She craved this tender attention. To her it was love, not lust. That's how she thought of things.

She moved her mouth up and down on my erection. She began to quicken the pace, but not enough to disrupt our promise of gentle lovemaking. I was tightening my hip, buttock, and thigh muscles as she sucked on me. My breathing was becoming more rapid. I felt the whole world begin to dissolve.

"Kathy...I'm...I'm going to...oh!" I called tenderly. It was too late, I began to come. My hips and thighs shook as the semen rose in my genitals and my prostate gland tightened. I felt a flood of warmth rise in my testicles and penis. Then I was throbbing. Kathy let my organ slip out of her mouth as the first wave came...a hot white gush of sperm ejaculated onto her cheek before she could get it back in her mouth, then she began sucking deeply. Five more bursts squirted from my erection before my supply was depleted, though it continued to throb several more times. She swallowed all that came into her mouth, ignorant of everything but the passion my climax made her feel.

"Oh Kathy..." I sighed.

She climbed up, wrapping herself around me, and caressed me, stroking my face. She placed several tender kisses on my face, occasionally on my nose, then pressed her plump lips against my mouth. Her breasts were firm against my chest and I could feel their intense heat flowing through my body. My right arm was around her shoulders and my hand was holding her head as we kissed. My other arm was down around her waist, with my hand gently caressing the valley between her buttocks. She moaned as I stroked down around her anus and pushed my tongue back into her mouth. I could feel her mound rubbing against the tip of my penis as we continued to press against each other. I could have just nudged her on her back and...oh God, I just wanted to slide right inside her.

She finally broke the kiss and I rolled onto my back. She lay her head on my chest and I pulled the comforter out from behind me, throwing it over our bodies. As we drifted off I swore I heard her say, "I knew you were someone special."

* * * * *

It must have been two or three in the morning when I woke up. The first thing that occurred to me was that it was well past the dorm curfew for visitors, even on a weekend. The next thing I noticed was that Kathy's body wasn't there keeping me warm. I fumbled for my glasses and looked across the darkened room (she must have turned out the desk lamp while I was asleep). As my eyes adjusted to the light coming in from the cloudless sky outside, I could see Kathy's naked silhouette as she stood in the window. I threw back the blanket and tumbled out of the bed. She must have known I was there because she didn't flinch as I slipped my arms around her from behind. I held Kathy just below her breasts and her arms wrapped over mine. I kissed her on the nape of her neck and she sighed.