Despair & Desire Ch. 02

"Please Leland," she said as she tried to get him to slide back into her. Just the tip of his cock was driving her mad.

"Easy my love," he said and gripped her hips. "It's bigger than you think now. We must go slowly."

"What?" she said and turned to look for herself. He was right. The quick glimpse she had of him before he entered her the first time she knew he was big, but now as she looked she gasped. "Damn," she said and nearly fell over in lust. From nowhere she moved her hips back and thought it was good that she took him by surprise as she impaled herself on him. She groaned as he stretched her wider than he had before.

"Oh god yes," she screamed as his hips moved in time with hers. "Now Leland now," she begged and moved her hair again. "Make me yours. I can't wait."

Her pleading was sending him over the edge. Her tight pussy breaking his control and he plunged faster and faster into her. Just as he felt her tightening even more around his cock he knew she was about to cum again. He gripped her hips tighter and he leaned over her and teased her shoulder with his teeth.

Just as she exploded around him he clamped down on her shoulder drawing blood. He drank her in as she shudder under him. When her orgasm subsided he released her and licked the wound closed. The permanent bruising the only thing left behind that showed she was mated visually. His scent would cling to her for weeks to make sure that no other male would come near her. Then he howled as she moved to turn again, the action taking his cock out of her.

Miranda moved quickly, knowing she had to or he would take control again, and rolled him over on his back. She saw how much bigger he had become and she couldn't wait to have the power under her. She climbed on top of him and plunged her pussy back down on his cock. She didn't want his submission but she wanted to see his pleasure in taking her.

She moved her hips and he went deeper into her. She slipped and slid over him and fucked him as hard and fast as she could. She felt something larger trying to get inside her and she looked down. A large lump close to the base of his cock was trying to get inside her. She wasn't smart on animal anatomy but she knew from her dogs mating that he was trying to tie to her. Once she understood that she forced herself down harder and that was all it took and she was tied to him.

Leland couldn't believe what she was doing.

Then she leaned over him and she clamped her teeth on his shoulder. She bit down until she tasted blood in her mouth.

Leland lost it yet again. His cum rushed out of him and filled her and his knot the only thing keeping it inside her.

Miranda came again as she felt him cum inside her for the first time. She reared back and screamed her pleasure. When she came down she landed on Leland exhausted from the power of her orgasm.

Leland wrapped her in his arms and held on tightly, his body slowly changing back to his human form. His breathing still labored and his heart still racing. He'd never had a female do that to him before. But then again he never had his mate in his arms before this either. He never understood what a difference there was in making love to your mate, never understood the happiness that came with being mated to the other half of yourself.

And now he completely understood what it was that had driven her to the suicide attempt. Had he not been a werewolf, had he not had his focus and drive to finish his classes, and if he had not had his pack and everyone that loved and supported him he may have attempted such a thing as well. His arms involuntarily tightened around her. He had to remember that she wasn't gone, that she was here and she was his mate. That they completed and were fully mated and she would be with him forever now. He would protect her, soothe her, and love her and their cubs until his death.

"I know you will," Miranda said and nuzzled his neck. Her hands traveled over him. She couldn't seem to stop touching him.

"You heard that?" he asked as he nuzzled back. It surprised him that the bond had already started.

"Hmm," she said and teased his bite mark with her teeth. When he shuddered under her she giggled. "Yes. Didn't you just say all those wonderful things? I like the thought that you haven't had a woman like me. I love that you understand me, and want me."

"I didn't speak out loud though honey," he explained as he trailed his hands up and down her spine. She grumbled her pleasure at being petted.

"Really?" she asked as she continued her light touches. She wasn't ready for another round yet, but she was content with this lazy kind of just touching.

"Our bond is starting," he said. When she tried to moved he grunted from his knot being pulled on, but she was unable to move off him.

"Uh oh," she giggled and had him chuckling with her. "I guess I'm stuck for a while huh?"

"I guess so," he agreed. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"No," she said and meant it. "I just was worried about you."

"I could hold you like this forever," he said with complete honesty. "How about this?" he asked and he rolled until they were face to face on their side.

"How can you be so perfect?" she asked. "Everything is so perfect now and you seem to just know what the right thing to do is."

"I'm not perfect Miranda. I just know what I want, what I need in this world. And I want you, I need you in my life," he said, adding weight to the words with the emotion behind them.

She stared in his eyes and remembered when she had dreamed of being that for someone, and to need that from someone. She leaned in and kissed him gently.

"I want you too; need you too, so much more than I could have dreamed when I first woke up in that hospital. I'm so glad you are such a persistent man."

"I'm not just a man," he said and to prove it his eyes changed.

"I know that," she said a little irritated with him. "Don't you get it that I understood exactly what I was doing? That I knew it when you lifted me."

"What?" Leland asked confused.

"Leland I know how much I weigh. You would have to be one of those body builders to lift me as easily as you did. Sense you don't have the obscene size as they do then there had to be another less reasonable answer. Add that to my dreams and the flashes of your thoughts it just made sense."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you angry with me," he said a little sheepish. "But I've never heard of a bond starting so quickly. It seems like ours had started before we mated and it has thrown me off a bit."

She rolled over until she was above him again. "Leland; you make me feel beautiful and sexy. I don't want you to feel like you have to explain every little thing to me. But I do want you to understand where I was before we met."

"You don't have to tell me now," he said wanting to sooth her.

"I want to tell you now," she said and nuzzled down into his chest. When his arms came around her she sighed in contentment. "I could lie like this forever."

"I wouldn't mind," he said and kissed her head.

"I can look at it now and see that it had been building for a while. My parents have been gone for five years now. They were so much a part of my life that when they died I felt like a part of me was ripped out. I was a useless mess for at least six months. After that I was barely functioning well enough to go back to work.

I didn't understand that I was in a depression until about three months ago. Thoughts just kept popping into my mind about how no one would care if I was gone. No one would notice that the quiet fat girl with the corner cubical was no longer coming to work. Hell, I was thinking that they would just chalk it up to me eating myself to death."

"Miranda!" Leland scolded.

"I'm just saying that's the way I was feeling, the way I was thinking. It was getting worse and then one day I just figured why stick around anymore. No one saw me, no one loved me, or even cared enough to pretend to care that I was obviously having problems. My body disgusted me. All I see in the mirror is fat rolls, hanging tits, and a fat ass.

How could anyone want that? It was no wonder I hadn't had a date in so long I can't remember. All I could think was I'd be doing men a favor by killing myself. Then they wouldn't have to worry about someone like me showing any interest in them that they would have to fend off or lie to get out of."

"That's enough!" Leland said and jerked them both to a sitting position. He watched as her eyes widened in shock at the movement. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. These other people in your life before have got to be blind as stumps not to see who you are. You don't have to be skinny to be desirable. To tell you the truth all those skinny girls are the ones that should be committed. Do you know how many of them starve themselves to get that way?"

"Leland," she said and caressed his cheek. "I didn't say these things to anger you. I just wanted you to understand a little of what I was feeling, thinking. I want you to see how much you mean to me so that you know that I will not try something that selfish again."

Leland gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "You are the most beautiful, caring woman I have ever seen. I love the way you look, the way you smell, the way you feel under my hands."

Miranda felt his knot subside and his cock slowly retreat from her body. She scooted closer to hold him inside her longer. His quiet chuckle teased her ear.

"I don't think I like it when you leave my body," she whispered and leaned him back. "I guess I'll have to do something about that." Slowly she teased his neck with her teeth, her bite mark just at the base of his neck begging her to sink back into his skin. He moaned at the feel of her teeth grazing the spot and his cock began to harden again.

A knock on her door broke through their loving haze. They both groaned.

"Who could that be?" Miranda wondered out loud.

"Were you expecting someone?" Leland asked.

"No," she said and moved to the closet and pulled out a robe while Leland pulled on his pants.

As they moved towards the door he felt another poke in his mind.

"Miranda stop," he said and took her arm.

"What?"

"Let me answer it," he said with a serious look.

"Why?"

"You'll see in a moment," he moved to the door and as he opened it he kneeled down.

Miranda watched stunned.

"My Alpha," he said.

Shock and awe made Miranda stumble for a second before she followed Leland's lead and knelt as well. Before her stood as gorgeous example of male she had ever seen. He was so big and tall, and all that silvery hair glistened in her hall lights.

"That wasn't necessary yet Miranda," Draven told her.

She looked up quickly. "How do you...?"

"Know your name?" Draven smiled and sent shivers through her. "Leland told me. Please stand, both of you. May I come in?"

Miranda scrambled to her feet. Leland followed more sedately. "Yes please come in."

"Thank you," he said and entered. He took a long leisurely look around her home and smiled. He took in the subtle, but exotic colors and decorations she had around her living room; "You have a very lovely home Miranda. Maybe we could have you do some interior decorating at the den."

Miranda's jaw dropped and she was certain if she had been any shorter it would have hit the floor hard.

"You want me to decorate your home?"

"Well let's see if you have any ideas first. Then we'll make a decision," he turned and looked at Leland. "You didn't wait."

"I..." Leland stammered for the first time in his life.

"Wait for what?" Miranda asked him.

"To mate with you," Draven answered. "He should have taken his time. Brought you to meet us, and to let you make that decision willingly and with all the facts first." He held up his hand when she began to protest on Leland's behalf. "I'm not saying he's in trouble, I'm just saying you should have waited."

He walked into her living room and sat in the only chair there besides the couch. "Now you two have some things that have to be taken care of before the rites."

Leland led Miranda to the couch and they sat waiting.

"First Miranda you have a decision to make. I'm not opposed to you keeping your apartment. Even I need time away from the den from time to time. But you and Leland will be needed at the den more so than here."

"Sir..." she started and Draven held up his hand again.

"Maybe I need to start just a bit more basic first. I am now your alpha, my mate is your alpha bitch," he said and saw her interest begin. "What I think we need to do is have you come to the den for a month or so. That way you can learn the basics of pack life. From there we will see what you are best suited at doing. And from the looks of your home I think you would have a great task ahead of you with the decorating of the den."

Miranda's head spun. He wanted to teach her, to give her a job. And as this all happened; Leland sat quietly holding her hand, his love pushing into her mind to help settle her. She turned to look at him and his smiled warmed her.

"I look forward to the challenge," she said as she turned back to her new Alpha.

"Now as you learn you will have questions," Draven said as caught the look in their eyes. "If Leland doesn't have the answers for you then you can come to me."

"Sir... I mean Alpha," Miranda stammered. Her hand came up to rub at her temple. "I still have my job here and..."

"Did it satisfy you?" Draven interrupted her.

"What?"

"Did you gain any joy from your job Miranda? Did it fulfill your needs inside you; make you feel like you know that it was what you wanted to do in your life?"

That stopped her. As she thought about it she began to realize that it didn't. That it never had. It was just a way to pay her rent, put food in the fridge and keep her lights on, nothing more. Her nerves left her to be replaced with a sense of being lost, hurt, and stupidity. How could she have never understood that before now? When Leland leaned over and brushed her cheek she felt the tears that were running freely.

She looked back and found that Alpha Draven had moved to her side as well.

"I didn't mean to upset you Miranda," he said and tucked her under his arm like her father used to do.

The feeling of loss filled her so fast she couldn't stop it. Her grief sobbed out of her. Somewhere she was aware that they were both holding her, but the grief didn't let up.

"I still miss them," she sobbed out, "How can it still hurt so much?"

Leland looked up at his alpha in pain. He couldn't stop what she was feeling more than he could stop loving her. His wolf paced in his mind trying to find a way to help.

"You will always miss them Miranda," Draven said. "But the love you will receive from your new family will help ease that." He looked down as she looked up, "You are part of our family now. You can lean on all of us."

"You want me?" she said in mild shock.

"All of us will," Draven said.

Another knock sounded urgently on her door again. Leland looked up and Draven nodded for him to get it.

Leland moved to the door, though reluctantly. He needed to hold Miranda, to ease her pain. To show her he would never leave. He opened the door and realized he was a bit more focused on Miranda to not have felt his Alpha bitch before opening the door. He knelt again.

"Leland please;" Junice said and waited until he rose. "I came as quickly as I could." Her heart nearly burst as she walked into the living room. With a cry of distress she rushed the couch and grabbed Miranda in her arms. Draven backed up as his mate rocked Miranda slowly. He knew her nature to want to comfort all her pack members. Junice would have felt his distress first at her crying then the tiny link that was starting would have finished the job in making her come here.

Miranda didn't know who it was that was holding her. She just knew that there was a feeling of support and love washing over her. She snuggled in and held on tight.

"You feel like my mom used to," she whispered after getting her breath back.

"I suppose that's because I am a mom," Junice said and leaned back. "Feeling better?"

"Yes," Miranda said and wiped her eyes.

"Will one of you get us some water?" Junice asked.

"Who are you?" Miranda asked as Leland left to do as his Alpha bitch requested.

"I'm Junice," she said and smoothed the hair back from face. "The Alpha Bitch of the Draven pack." When Miranda sucked in an embarrassed gasp Junice shook her head. "Don't be embarrassed Miranda. You have a right to feel sad."

"But not to feel so stupid," Miranda said and pushed off the couch. She was making a fool of herself in front of her new alphas. Crying like a little girl.

"Miranda," Leland said with a growl. He had walked in with the glass of water as her thoughts came to him. "I told you I won't have you thinking that way."

"Leland she's upset," Junice said and stood to take the water. She turned and held it out for Miranda. "Come and sit honey."

Miranda walked back to the couch and Junice handed her the water. After soothing her raw throat she put the glass down on the coffee table. She looked up and Draven had resumed his seat in the chair and Leland walked over and sat at her other side.

"I know this is all so new and so sudden," Junice said as she stroked Miranda's arm. "But you will be loved and cared for. I can already feel you in my heart."

Miranda just stared at this dark goddess. She was offering her a family.

"I want to go to the den now," Miranda said having made up her mind.

Junice smiled and hugged her. "We'll leave as soon as you pack a bag. We can send someone to pick up the rest."

"I need to call and put in notice at my job."

"Okay," Junice agreed.