Devil's Dandruff

Bill called me the next day and said he let Cathy leave before they raided Rod's home. She was 'luckily' going out to the store for them when the cops rushed the place. I knew there was more to the story but Bill hinted we were even. I thought it would have done Cathy some good to go to jail and get cleaned out, but Bill did as I asked and I wasn't going to complain. Cathy was a big girl who had her own life to live. I couldn't live it for her.

Rod, Emma and the entire gang went to trial and were convicted with some serious jail time having to be served. Bill Tooley hinted that he put Rod in with the 'tough guys' as he called them. He explained that Rod was put in the section with guys who liked to date other guys. He hinted his dance card would be filled for many months to come. I thought that was great since Rod fucked me in ass (figuratively), he should get the same (literally).

I sat in the courtroom while he was sentenced and just before he was taken away I let him know it was me who got him busted. The look on his face was priceless. I told him not to drop the bar of soap in the prison shower too much. I got to give him the finger this time and smiled as he was led away to jail.

That was pretty much how it all ended. I worked hard and tried to get my life back again. I dated a couple of times but the timing felt wrong or maybe I just wasn't interested in another relationship yet. Cathy never made any attempt to call or see me. I always wondered how she made out in life but figured I would never find out unless it made the paper or TV news.

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Two Years Later:

The doorbell rang and I answered it after a few rings. As I opened the door I was looking at the ghost of my ex-wife Cathy. She was thinner than I had ever seen her and she looked very sick. She tried to smile at me but my face dropping into a pure look of sadness, made her smile disappear instantly. I think the look of my face said it all 'Why are you here, you crushed me and spit me out, why are you here?' All I saw was sadness wearing shoes.

"Bobby, I need you to help me if you will?" Cathy asked me with some hesitation.

"Sorry Cathy but you fired me remember? That is no longer my job so please go away." I told her this trying not to cry as my eyes teared up. I still loved her and would always love her. That didn't mean I was her partner anymore or was responsible for her.

"Bobby I am so sorry! Everything you predicted came true. I am very sick, everyone left me and I have no friends anymore and nowhere to live. It ALL came true like you said." Cathy informed me of her current problems. I had never seen her so crushed as I did at that moment.

"Well telling me I was right all along doesn't help me then or now. I loved you and you shit on me for what? Huh, FOR WHAT!" I yelled at her. "You had me, a loving and devoted husband, a nice home and a car, you lacked nothing but drugs and sex from strangers. Go ask them for help you piece of trash!" I couldn't hide the bitterness in my voice and all the feelings of the last couple of years came right out at the person I most wanted to yell at.

"What about your Mom and Dad? Why aren't you there letting them take care of you?" I asked her and this just brought on crying and more crying from her.

She looked like she was having a nervous breakdown right on my door step. She gave a funny look and passed out right into me. With just a split second reaction I grabbed her as she passed out in my arms. I brought her into the house and put her on the couch. If she weighed anything over 90 lbs I would have been surprised.

I grabbed a wash cloth, put some cool water on it and placed it on her forehead. The cooling relief was easy to see on her face. She was waking up a minute later and looking at me bent over her with a concerned look.

"Bobby I just had the worst nightmare and..." she stopped abruptly and looked around. She started to cry again and she didn't stop for over twenty minutes. I just sat next to her holding her hand as she squeezed it looking away from me. Finally she stopped and looked right into my eyes.

"I woke up on our couch and saw you looking at me with loving concern and I though it was two years ago and we were still together. I realized what had become of us, of me, after a few seconds and reality hit me. Bobby I am so sorry. I never really told you that at all. That was one of my biggest mistakes and I have made many." she confessed to me.

"To answer your question, Mom and Dad told me to never show up at their house again. They always sided with you and that made me mad so I tried to get back at them. I won't tell you how but my Dad said he would never call me his daughter ever again. Mom just said 'have a good life on the path you have chosen'."

"Cathy if you want my help I need some honest answers. If you want to keep secrets or lie to me then there is the door, please leave!" I told her honestly. I was in no mood to play games.

As I sat there watching my wife I realized where and what her life had really become. I watched her face drop and she looked me right in the eyes.

"I am a fool who is forever going to be sorry. I let drugs come before you or even myself. I kept telling myself I could control my life as it spun out of control. I am sick Bobby, I mean really sick! The doctors told me maybe 4-6 months if..." she told me with a defeated voice and paused to cry.

"I know you don't owe me anything but could you please look after me. I don't want to die in the park under some bridge or picnic table. Can you please help me?" she pleaded to me this time. All the love I still had for her came to the surface with an equal amount of pain from her past history.

"Tell you what Cathy, I want to ask you some questions and I want the truth. If I even think you are lying to me I will drive you to a park bench myself and leave you there!" I told her in a matter of fact voice.

I saw her nod her head and she waited for me to ask my questions with tears in her eyes.

"Ok, did Rod the asshole fuck you before the first time he ever came here to our house for their first dinner? I saw the look on his face when I first met him. Deep down I knew he had for some reason. I just wanted to know." I also added to my question.

She hesitated and the look on my face must have said tell me the truth or else.

"Yes" is all she would say and she looked away.

"He even fucked you in the ass didn't he? Didn't he!?!" I asked her with pain in my voice.

"Yes" was all she could say to me again but she didn't look away this time.

Well I wanted to know I thought to myself and I guess deep down I knew I wouldn't like some of the answers. I was going to start with some basic questions.

"If you knew you had a problem with coke, why did you hang around those two losers? Your parents told me of all the troubles you caused in college for them because of that crap. Didn't you learn anything in rehab?" I asked her face to face.

"Let me tell you how it started and then you can ask me any questions you want about my drug use." Cathy told me getting ready to tell me her story and how it started.

"In college my roommate Suzie was big into cocaine. I didn't try it at first but peer pressure and stupidity took over. Soon I had a $1000 a week habit and you know Mom and Dad are not exactly rich. I started to do things at school for money that I am still not too proud of. It got really crazy and my folks saw my first semester report card senior year before that Thanksgiving holiday. The only passing mark I got was English and that was because I would have sex with my teacher. For an 'A' that marking period, I had to gang bang him and three of his friends all semester."

"When I went home for the holiday they confronted me and told me they wouldn't pay for college anymore if I didn't clean up my life. It was probably a blessing, though I didn't feel like it at the time. They sent me far away to a rehab place and I got straight. I learned you never stop being a drug addict, you just stop using them." Cathy told me of her life before I met her.

"I cleaned up my life and finished my degree at the local community college. I got a job with the insurance company just as I met you. You were my rock many times though you didn't know it. I was going to tell you of my past history but I was too ashamed of what I did in college and the fact that I was a cocaine addict. My strength was in you and your love. Every time I felt like getting back into drugs at one of my weak times you were there and I didn't dare." she informed me as she squeezed my hand gently.

"Emma joined the company and we hit it right off. I never even knew she did drugs until I left my purse at my desk one day during lunch. When I returned back to get it Emma was just doing a line of coke and looked surprised to see me standing there. Part of me wanted to call the supervisor and turn her in to the cops. The other part of me wanted to do what she was doing. She offered me some and like a fool I got weak and said 'Yes'."

"I knew it was wrong but couldn't stop myself. I started down that road to hell slowly but surely. I knew it was going to be bad because after my first line I was hooked again. We did a shit load that day during lunch and I forgot how much I loved cocaine. Yes I loved it! That was my whole problem."

"The next day she had more and I asked her where she was getting so much coke on our small weekly salary. She told me about Rod her husband and his side business. She invited me to their house that night after work and I met Rod. He was charming at first and was always willing to offer me some lines if I wanted them. Soon he started to put the moves on me and hinted the coke would dry up if I didn't play ball."

"That was the start of my problems getting even bigger. I was hooked by the end of the week and Emma and I would get high and then get drunk a few times after work. It was all good times and wild parties. Rod fucked me before the first week was over."

"I remember him wanting to do my ass when I was really out of it one night and I got weak and said yes. Emma was there also and did whatever Rod told her to do. Soon I was fucking Emma and Rod. Emma was bi but basically liked having someone around to take the edge off of Rod when he was horny and coked up. Rod loved the fact I would trade sexual favors for cocaine. He loved anal sex. It was a great match made in hell!"

"I started to get more fucked up after work every day and Rod was becoming more demanding sexually. One night he was waiting there with four of his buddies and told me to strip. I told him no and he just said then leave and don't come back here again, and by the way no more cocaine either!"

"Needless to say they all gang banged me until you called my cell phone that night wondering where I was and if I was alright. I had a feeling you were catching on to me but just put it out of my mind. It would hurt me too bad thinking about you and your love at home. I just wanted to forget my great loving husband waiting for his coke whore to come home."

"Well things started to get crazy like they did in college. The more drugs I did the more I felt guilty about everything. Then I would drink to stop the pain and do some more drugs. By then my will power and morals were all corrupted. Cocaine was front and center in my life now. If I had to fuck Rod and all his friends while leaving you out in the cold so be it I thought. That is how fucked up I was becoming."

"I spent all my salary on coke and soon I was in debt to Rod for thousands of dollars. It really didn't take too long to rack up a huge coke bill in his favor. That is what he said at least and I didn't want to lose my connection to the white power. Soon Rod was making me fuck strangers for deals and money. I was his coke whore pure and simple"

"Then you and my parents ganged up on me to try and help me. Deep down I knew that you were all trying to help but Cathy the coke head didn't see it that way. All I saw was my drug life style being stopped and I didn't want that to happen. I still remember your face as I said those horrible things to you that night. I will never get your hurt expression out of my mind, never! Bobby I am so sorry I hurt you." Cathy said this crying and it took a few minutes for her to calm down again.

"The next day I called you at work but was still a little high from the wild party the night before. I got drunk and high and still didn't remember most of it. I even had a few lines that morning before I called you for courage, talk about a mistake. I tried to explain and apologize but you would have none of it. I knew I was wrong but still blamed you in my drugged up state of mind."

"Trust me, every day after that I wanted to see and call you but my pride or the drugs wouldn't let the pain or common sense in. I just wanted to be happy and high. So every time I felt guilty, which was pretty much anytime I was sober or straight, I wanted to escape back into the world of drugs to forget the love and the wonderful person I left behind. I missed you every day and wanted my old life back but didn't know how to anymore." she added.

"Cathy I want to show you something in the study, can you get up and walk?" I interrupted her.

"Yea, I think I can get on my feet now. I think all the excitement of seeing you again just got to me." she answered back.

I helped her to her feet, led her down the hall and I sat her down in front of my computer. She looked puzzled until I clicked on a file named 'Burn In Hell'. Cathy saw the name and I saw her grimes and grab the chair arms for support.

"I am going to show you what I have in this file. I have saved it and never deleted it for some reason. Maybe the reason is sitting here in front of me now. If you don't want to go down this memory lane just tell me and you can leave now. The choice is yours." I told her in an ultimatum.

"I am tired of running away from you as well as myself. Show me whatever you need to." she answered back.

I pulled a chair up by hers and started to click on the first picture file. I showed her all the pictures I took at the park the first time I caught her with Rod and Emma. I went through each one slowly without saying a word. I could see her crying now beside me.

Next I showed her the 30 pictures and the email Rod sent me the next day after Cathy left me. "These were taken the night you left me. I still don't know why I kept them but I did. I guess I wanted to know if Rod's email message was true and did you really forget me that night and the many others to come?" I asked her.

"Oh Bobby, I never even knew Rod was sending you that stuff. He and Emma would fill my head with lies and false shit. I was fucked up and started to believe them. They said you already had a new girlfriend and you were over me." Cathy said to me.

"Cathy, do you know that I have not had sex with anyone since you left me? I am almost afraid to get into a relationship again and have my heart broken all over again." I confessed to her.

I showed her all the pictures, videos and emails Rod had sent to my work email address. I made her read each email out aloud.

Then I clicked on the pictures of her, Emma, and Rod at the rich guy's house. The second week after Cathy left me.

"Oh my God Bobby, you were there outside watching me that night? I felt like a prostitute that night, I never knew you saw all that." she said as she really lost it and started to cry and shake.

I hugged her and she finally calmed down. I left up the picture of her looking very sad and unhappy as Rod was fucking her from behind and the rich guy was just getting out of his chair to get head from Cathy. She was looking right into my camera and you could see the pain and sadness on her face.

"Cathy I have had to look at those pictures of you, see the videos of you getting ganged banged and even see you go lower than I thought possible, with my own two eyes. I have carried around those images in my head, the shit you said to me the night you left and the email crap Rod said about you and our relationship. You were never there to answer back or prove them wrong. You just left!" I shouted at her. I got up and left her in the study. I needed some water and a little break from my ex-wife.

After a few minutes I saw Cathy enter the kitchen and sit next to me at the kitchen table. We had a habit of making all our most important decisions at that table. I don't think me sitting at the kitchen table was lost on her and she was the first to speak.

"We have made many important decisions at this table but I feel this is one our most important. Bobby I have ruined both our lives over drugs. You were the only good thing in my life and I threw you away with no explanation or thought of your feelings. It was always about poor me, my feelings, my drug problems, my needs and wants. I forgot there was someone other than me sometimes but you brought it all back to me with your picture show. I am sorry, even sorrier now than I have ever been about anything in my life. I am sorry I lied and cast you aside. I lost what was truly beautiful in my life for ugliness." she finished to me.

"Bobby I realize I am asking for a huge sacrifice on your part. Being in your shoes I don't blame you if you tell me to fuck off right now. I know I deserve it and probably more, but will you let me stay here until the end? That is all I can ask of you." she said to me with total honesty in her eyes and her voice.

I didn't answer right away, I need time to think and digest all that she had confessed to me.

"Are you still doing cocaine anymore? Honestly?" I asked her face to face.

"I have been clean for over 4 months now. Just as I got clean I got HIV and some other nasty STD's. I think it is God's way of punishing me for walking out on you. I thought I could come back clean and straight and maybe you would still be single and we would have a chance again. I know you still love me but sometimes that just isn't enough. Now I have a death sentence because of my past wild lifestyle." Cathy told me with more tears in her eyes.

"Two more question Cathy. Why did you give up anal sex to Rod and other starngers and never to me? I thought you would want only me to have the pleasure of your whole body and not limit me, your husband, friend and lover?" I asked her.

"Bobby since college anyone who fucked me in the ass was doing just that. I felt anyone who did that to me only wanted me for a whore and my body. I loved you and didn't want the past to corrupt our marriage. Boy did I fuck that up really bad. Again Bobby I am sorry I withheld that aspect of sex with you. It always made me feel cheap. I never wanted that with you and I"

"Ok last question. What did you do to your Dad that made him disown you"? I asked a shocked Cathy. She just looked away and wouldn't answer at first. "Ok, there is the door, have a good life." is all I could say as I got up to walk away.

She looked shocked and hesitated before she answered. "I took four black men up to my parents bedroom and they gang banged me there. One guy was pissing on me as the others fucked my raw. I owed these dirt bags money for drugs and they said I could trade sex for it. My dad came in at that moment and went nuts. The guys didn't want to leave at first and started to make fun of my Dad having a whore for a daughter. Then they started to make comments on if Mom was just as good in bed also. My Dad went nuts at this point and got out the shotgun. He put two holes in the bedroom ceiling with the first blast and all the guys went out of there running."

"The guys caught up to me later in the week at a seedy bar on the south side of town where I ususally tried to score drugs. They said I needed to work off the money I still owed them or they were going to visit my Dad and Mom at home to get it. They hinted about beating Dad up or worse and gang banging my Mom. I worked for them as a whore for almost a week until I ran away and checked into the Christian rehab hospital downtown. That week is when I caught all the bad STD's I think." Cathy confessed to me.