Dick

"I still don't know how to use that damn thing."

"Listen carefully Kade. Drive towards Pryde for almost one hour and as you approach a small settlement you'll see three grain silos on the right and two on the left standing directly opposite. They look like toy soldiers."

"Ah yes, known to some of us as the Five Peni."

"What?"

"It's girl's talk darling and is not the correct plural form."

"What?"

"It does matter. What is the next instruction...when I sight them I think of you and groan?"

"What, of course not. They are nearby so you call me and I'll step on to the highway and you should take great care not to run over me. You leave your car there and drive on with me."

"This is brilliant Dick. No wonder women say its unusual for a guy like you to have both a brain and...oh, whatever."

"Whatever what?"

"Darling, I must run. I want to be with you. Why are you going to Pryde?"

"I'll tell you when I see you darling. I have no wish to over-communicate."

"What?"

Dick snapped his phone shut, grinning. He felt a whole lot better.

Kade flashed her lights and he stepped back but still a little way off she did a u-turn to be facing the right-way to drive off that evening, earning a credit from her severest driving critic. They kissed, she giggled and sighed, "Oh Dick, not an erection all ready?"

He grinned, proudly.

Once they were underway Kade said, "Darling, I wasn't quite myself last evening. I'm sorry about that but I have been talking at length with Carolyn and we have come up with brilliant strategy, at least we think it is. Carolyn will dedicate much of her time before she goes off to college teaching you how to talk to women and understand their sensitivities and in return I'm allowing her to have a piece of you whenever appropriate."

"So, I'm just a piece of meat to be used by both of you when appropriate am I?"

Kade took a deep breath and said quietly, "This program is for your own good darling. If the truth is not to be denied it's women who are treated like a piece of meat."

"And you two females think it's okay to seize upon a male attitude and use it to your advantage?"

"I-I don't understand."

"It's the rules, but you don't need to know that."

Kade back-pedaling quickly asked, "Why are we going to Pryde?"

She was told not to change the subject so sighed and asked, "What rules?"

Dick said severely, "Why don't you think guys don't seduce every women in sight?"

"Unlike you, most guys know they'd quickly be running without a shot left in the barrel?"

"No, you are missing the point."

"What point?" At that Kade was in danger of giggling uncontrollably.

"Guys know to be discriminate about who they shaft and when because they have adopted the code of manhood. The rules say indiscriminate shafting could lead to chaos and mayhem. The rules say there are enough babes to go around, with some babes only too ready to go around like a merry-go-round. And the rules say its best to have a conservative approach and once or at the most twice a day every day is sufficient for any guy, with catch-up provisions of course if missing out on his shafting schedule for any reason."

Kade was no longer laughing. In fact she was looking at him with respect. "God Dick, thank you for telling me this, I feel so privileged. It's such a profound eye-opener, you do know most females think males are so basic, almost dumb, don't you?"

"Yeah, we have a rule about that too."

"Oh, what is that rule?"

"To deny it but to try to avoid slapping the dumb broad."

It Kade had the slight suspicion that this might be the biggest heap of crap he'd ever thrown at her she didn't reveal it. Instead she looked at him closely and said, "Relax darling, you look all tense."

He sighed and relaxed and gave her a quite smile, aware she would be reading his face looking for insincerity. "I love you Kade." His concentration returned to driving them safely.

She sighed and his smile broadened.

She wiped off that smile. "Has Carolyn called you this morning?"

He could lie but Carolyn probably called Kade to deliver his response. "Yep, the dumb bitch."

"Dick."

"Well what am I suppose to think?"

"We why not trying to communicate and tell me?"

"You'll not like it."

Kade said primly he should allow her to be the judge of that.

"I've decided that with you two proposing to act like amateur sluts that I'll invite some of the boys over and tell them to let it rip, to give you two the full treatment, all orifices simultaneously."

"Dick, for fuck sake!"

"Well, there you go. You have the choice."

"What choice?" Kade said, voice shaking.

"Stay as we are or let it rip."

Kade looked desperate, focused where they were and said, "Darling, may we stop here for coffee."

They entered the country café with gingham tablecloths and two rosy cheeked and busty women with huge smiles. Dick thought what a dump and heard Kade say, "These flowers on the tables are real, oh how sweet."

Kade said to order her coffee and a cake and she walked off to the restroom, already pulling out her phone, presumably to call Carolyn with the news of the terrible fate that awaited them. On the other hand..."

He grinned and the two women behind the counter increased their smiles and one said, "Ah, a man who can smile just for the joy of it." Dick ordered a pot of coffee, no milk and no sugar and a ginger cookie.

"What about your daughter sir?

Dick cut back his scowl. Wasn't he attempting to reform? "Do you do chamomile tea?"

"Yes sir, how lovely sir."

"Tea and a cake stuffed with cream -- not make that two and she can pig out."

The women's smiles vanished and Dick realized he'd muffed it. He whispered, "She's newly pregnant. It's so stressful for the family because she's not married."

The women appeared ready to cry so Dick went to a far off table accepting he was on a learning curve on how to act in the way women appreciated. He hoped it wouldn't impact adversely on his business career.

As Kade emerged, phone back in her handbag and appearing as if she'd been away to only wash her hands or whatever, one of the women ran over and placed her arm over Kade's shoulder and spoke to her soothingly, bringing to her father's table.

"I'll fetch you a glass of warm water darling."

The woman raced off and Kade glared at Dick, "What have you been telling them?"

"Telling them what?"

The other woman arrived with the tray and Kade boggled at the size of the cream cakes.

"I feel sick," she said, racing off to the car.

"Oh dear," said the woman. "What now?"

"Box up the cakes and we'll be off as soon as I finish my coffee," said the 'father'. He bought a soda for Kade and outside dropped the cream cakes into a trashcan.

"Whatever made those stupid women serve me cream cakes," Kade said. "What a dump that place is."

"Yes," Dick said, handing across the soda. "Steer clear of gingham I say. I left them a good tip."

"What for? Dick, you are far too soft. Those busy-bodies are far too much."

"Oh, I was thoroughly entertained by them," Dick said mysteriously.

"That fat bitch handling me like that -- I almost whacked her. Lesbians like that should be banned.

"Er, I'm glad you didn't hit her darling. What did Carolyn say?"

"As to be expected she cried and raged and..."

They drove on in silence, Kade biting her lip.

* * *

To Dick's amazement they had a great day in Pryde. He chose the Jeep but instead they drove away in the Lexus because Kade said she preferred the color. Dick dismissed that and was ready to take the Jeep when she whispered: "I prefer the position I tested of the Lexus."

"What position?" he asked and was told to keep his voice down.

"The position if you get lucky." She fluttered her eyelids and for Dick the penny dropped -- she'd always been against having sex in a vehicle.

"We'll take the Lexus," Dick shouted and the salesman smiled and said, "Women prefer the Lexus for some reason." Kade hurried off as Dick opened his mouth.

As they drove off Dick leered, "Show me the position."

Kade snuggled between the seat and her door and opened her legs. Dick was licking his lips when she screamed, "Red light!" They stopped just in time and there was no vehicle close behind to ram them.

Kade towed him around for hours but it was productive. She purchased three matching suitcases, white with gold trim that she called 'my going away luggage'. Dick had no idea where she intended going but was distracted by a woman adjusting a stocking so didn't ask. He purchased a bottle of Joy, her favorite perfume, and had those eyelids waggling at him again. She purchased him a gold watch he didn't want and she smiled secretly and said, "Your going away present."

"Where am I going?"

She saw genuine confusion and said, "Dummy, for when we leave on our honeymoon."

"Oh, but that's six months away."

She smiled, took his hand and drew it down her breast and said by buying now they would avoid the rush.

"What rush?"

She smiled and asked could they go somewhere nice for lunch. Dick had been thinking of going out with Chad for a wet lunch but Kade was acting so adorably he thought he'd take her to lunch at the Cosmopolitan. As they entered he knew that had been a mistake as it was the place he'd brought his chosen one to commence a new affair.

The maitre 'd recognized him from old, gave him a wink but did not vocalize except to say "This way ma'am" in his faked French accent.

Waiting for their champagne to arrive Kade leaned over conspiratorially to whisper, "Why did that guy in the phony accent wink at you?"

"He recognized me from way back."

"And why would he do that?"

"Because I used to lunch here."

As their wine was being poured Kade looked around at the generally prosperous looking patrons and at the luxurious plastered ceiling with gold highlights and smiled.

As the wine waiter departed she asked, "Notice anything about people in here?"

"Well dressed and generally well-heeled?"

"Yes but don't you see, we fit into here like a glove. Every man here is with a younger woman."

"Of course."

Kade looked surprised. "You don't deny that it's a whorehouse?"

Dick smiled at her handsomely, noting that caught her breath. "Your term is a little harsh. There will be a few mistresses here but most will be guys making a hit on their PA or someone else in the office."

"You, a frequent diner at this establishment, admit to that?"

"Yes, of course, but you realize my patronage here was before your time. The usual practice is to overcome her with opulence and then after the first shafting take her somewhere less expensive."

"Oh you mean are so disgusting and so devious," she giggled. "When do I get my shafting?"

"On the way home."

"At a crappy motel?"

"You chose the place."

"Ohmigod, you are thinking of your new vehicle."

He just smiled and felt her now shoeless foot run over his ankle and wiggle around under his trouser cuff.

Seven hours later Kade awoke as Dick drove off the highway and deep into a stand of trees.

"Why are we stopping?"

She caught his toothy grin in the illumination of the map reading light.

"Ohmigod. We've stopped to fuck even though we're almost home?"

"Grooooowl. Gruuuuuuff."

Kade backed into the corner between her seat and door, her eyes wide and uttering no sound. Slowly, gazing at him in the dim light, she opened her legs. Dick reached across and ripped her panties from her body.

She began breathing through her mouth.

Dick leant over and licked her pussy.

"Get away from me, you beast!"

Dick's tongue penetrated between her thick, shaven lips. She groaned and pulled at his head as if attempting to drive his tongue in to the max. Later he climbed over the divider to be in a better position to attend to his prey -- er, fiancée.

As they reached the apartment Kade said, "That was so lovely, I'm really into car sex now."

"That's good, I mean really good."

"Ooooh, I like you saying that. Who are you calling?"

"Carolyn."

"Why?"

"To see if she wants to go fencing with me from 9:00 to 3:00. You can join us."

"What, so we can eat lunch nude?"

Dick grinned and said, "She told you that."

"Yes, but it sounded so pathetic with nothing going on between you."

Dick grinned and switching to speaker phone said, "Hi -- want to come fencing with me in the morning?"

"Why -- you have rejected me?"

"Think about it Carolyn -- you and Karen came up with a proposal, it was presented and I rejected it. I rejected the proposal, I did not reject you. Look back and come forward -- don't you see, nothing has actually changed, has it?"

"I-I suppose not."

"Nothing has actually changed, has it?"

"No, you are quite right."

From nine to three and you bring lunch for three.

"Is Kade coming?"

"Yes, that's okay isn't it?"

Dick waited for Carolyn to answer and Kade leant over and began tracing the outline of his slack dick with a finger.

"Yes it's okay, but it means we don't eat lunch quirky-like."

"Why not?"

"My sister is a little prim. She won't want to eat lunch in the nude."

"She may if you say to her that's the rule."

"What rule?"

"The rule that farm fencers eat lunch in the raw, at least Dick and his gang do."

Carolyn said slowly, "Okay" and Dick imagined her sucking her hair. "Will there be sex?"

"Only if you two take to each other."

"Dick!" she screamed, laughing and Dick winced as Kade squeezed his dick.

"All right, lunch for three."

"Good girl. I'll bring wine and a soda for you."

"Wine for me and you can lick it from my pussy."

Dick grinned and held a finger to his lips and Kade nodded.

"Careful Carolyn, Kade could be listening."

"Is she?"

"What do you think?"

"Goodnight Kade and goodnight you big dick."

Dick asked Kade would she be lunching with them tomorrow and she said wild bulls wouldn't keep her away. Her fingers tightened around his growing erection.

"Come," she said, "Let's visit the table. We haven't been there for a while."

* * *

Fencing day turned out to be partly a pain in the butt for Dick. The sisters excluded him from conversation by discussing inane things interspersed with unfathomable giggling. At the barn he carefully parked over the presumably now rotting pair of abandoned underpants and the girls fought over who was to drive the Hog, Kade going into raptures about how heavenly cute it was. Then as soon as he bent over to re-tension a slack wire they girls we off in the vehicle whooping and hollering like a couple of escapees from drug rehabilitation and, of course, separating him from hammer, staples and the stretch-bar wire-puller. However, all was not lost as this section of fencing had in-line permanent wire strainers.

At least they was having fun and he was outdoors being physical as planned so he decided to not be grumpy and simply flagged them down whenever they came close to take out some replacement battens from the cargo box. On the second time back they were both topless and grinning at him like naughty kids.

The sun on his bared back, the sight of floppy tits and they approached over uneven ground and run-away thoughts soon had him horny. A bare wire slash down the side of his thumb stiffened his resolve to refuse to seduce Carolyn even if she managed to have Kade on her side egging him on.

At the picnic spot Dick returned from behind a clump of trees to find both females totally naked. He sat, unlaced his boots and removed them and his socks and stood and dropped his shorts and kicked off his underpants to friendly applause. They ate lunch in the shade and chatted like any normal family -- that is any normal dressed family.

The women went sun bathing and Dick dressed and went back to work on the Hog and returned to pick up the women, now dressed.

And that was that. Well, almost.

As they drove off in the SUV Dick heard to his dismay Kade say she'd proposed to use Dick after lunch as a model to give Carolyn tuition, including hands-on tuition, on sex, just as their mom had heroically given Dick advance instruction some seventeen years earlier.

She proposed taking Carolyn through the ropes on fellatio, cunnilingus, masturbation and anal and vaginal sex for a start -- although perhaps not anal as to her knowledge they were all anal virgins.

"W-w-what happened. You didn't proceed?"

"Carolyn refused outright to participate, saying is was a sneaky way for her to have sex with you. She said she would rather not have sex with you if it meant going through the back door."

Dick said with relief, "But you'd already decided not have anal sex?"

"Yes but what has that to do with what I have just said?'

"Anal sex -- back door sex, dummy."

The three of them laughed. Dick stopped the vehicle at the entrance to the main highway.

"Get out Carolyn?"

She called from the back seat, "No I'm safer here."

"You have displayed commendable maturity. I am inviting you to drive this vehicle."

"But when I asked to drive this morning you refused, saying no way would you and I quote, 'place $50,000 of vehicle in my inexpert hands linked to an undisciplined mind', unquote."

"Well yes, but that was before I knew you'd passed over the threshold to sexual maturity."

"Oh no," Carolyn whined. "You are attempting to rob me of my sexual irresponsibility that lies before me at college."

"No he isn't, at least not altogether," Kade soothed. "He's imposed no rule forbidding regression back over the threshold when it suits you."

"Oh yeah," Carolyn said, unlocking the rear doors and emerging to kiss Dick without too much groin press and then getting behind the wheel. God, these seats are so soft and comfortable. The must be great for vehicle sex."

They drove on silently for a while, Carolyn grinning as in the rear vision mirror she'd watched Dick sink his face into his hands while her sister was attempting to adopt the face of a pious clergyman's wife.

Chapter 25

Dinner that evening was extremely pleasant. Dick had stopped in front of the hotel in the hotel restricted parking zone and the doorman hurried out and asked, "Are you guests?'

"No."

"Then drive off."

"No."

"I beg your pardon?"

Dick stepped out of the vehicle, immaculate in all black including a Cashmere crewneck sweater. "I'm waiting for someone."

"No here you won't. Move off."

"No, here they come."

The doorman barked into his lapel mike, "Security, Cassidy, front door -- hurry."

Two foyer security personnel, both women, dashed by Mal and Pearl Hart. Mal halted, pulling Pearl back, wearing a big grin.

The larger of the two guards said, "Problem Cassidy?"

"Yeah, this punk refuses the move on. I did ask nicely."

"Is that true sir?"

"Yes but he failed to ask me what my business was for stopping here."

"I'm sorry sir but..."

The smaller guard chipped in. Easy Bette, this guy is driving a fifty grand vehicle and (as she came closer), ohmigod, it's him?"

"Who?" Cassidy and Bette asked together, aware a small crowd had gathered.

"The new owner -- his mug is on our notice board."

Dick smiled and said, "Ladies you still haven't asked why am I stopped here?"

The smaller guard swallowed and said, "Sir, why are you stopped here?"

"To pick up the two folk standing behind you."

The doorman and guards turned.

"Ohmigod, said the Bette, opening the rear door and snapping to attention: "Mrs Hart, this way please."

"Thank you Bette, well handled Sandra. Cassidy log yourself in for refresher training at 9:00 on Monday."

"Yes ma'am."

The very elegant Mrs Hart held out a hand and smiled, "Good evening Mr Savage or may I jump straight to Dick."

Dick took her hand, pulled her closer and kissed her far cheek.

"Oh my, a guy classy enough to wear a real men's fragrance. Hello Kade, I'm Pearl."