Discovery of the Moment Ch. 06

I smiled easily and said, "Wild horses couldn't keep me away. We'll finish cleaning up in here later."

The shower was not at all quick, I'm glad to say. We made love again under the water, a first for both of us, and did so with less fervor. Despite the slippery conditions, our sex in the shower and slow and steady. While our orgasms were still powerfully good, they weren't as explosive as they had been in the kitchen just a short time before. There was something tender and gentle in the way Kelly moved while we were in the shower and I took special note of it. When we were dried off and laying quietly in my bed to recover, I asked her about it.

"I don't know," Kelly said thoughtfully. "I guess I just sort of view being in the shower as a really vulnerable place, y'know? Like, we're not just naked, but we're cleansing ourselves, too."

"And doing The Dirty in the process," I quipped.

Kelly giggled at that, but went on. "Well, yes, that's true, too, but I don't see us having sex as being dirty or anything. I mean, I know there's the taboo element of incest and all, but that's just society's hangups, not mine. For me, having sex with you is... love. And I feel it, in all its forms, y'know? There's the love you have for me as your daughter. There's the love you have for me as your lover. And we're friends, too, which helps a lot. It isn't forced or conditional. We just love and enjoy each other. For me, that's the most special part of it. I feel closer to you in a way that goes way past the actual sex." I was silent to that amazing confession. From any other woman's lips, that would sound like the prelude to... something we couldn't actually have.

After a moment I said, "The Greeks define love in three parts. First, there's 'philos', which is the kind of love two friends might share. It has absolutely nothing to do with the body or sex or even romance. It's just a special kind of love that's based on trust and experience, like the kind of love that best friends would share. It's the easiest to come by. And then there's 'eros', which is almost entirely sexual and physical. But it isn't like lust, which is just rutting and having sex for the sake of having sex. It's more like making love, but deeper and more meaningful. And then there's the last, the hardest one to find: 'agape.' And that... that is the true meeting of souls, like what a married couple have. There's promise and care and sharing and all the amazing things that come with a relationship, and it's all wrapped up in that single word, 'agape.' When you find that, you hold on to it and do your damnedest to never let it go."

Kelly rolled over onto her side, still blessedly naked beside me, and leaned her head on her hand, which was at the end of an exquisitely bent elbow. She pondered my statement for a long time and then asked, "Is that what you had with Mom?"

I nodded and turned my head to look at her. "Sarah was, simply put, the other half of me. I know it's clichéd and trite, but that's the best way to describe it. In the areas where I was at my worst, she was at her best. And vice-versa. She was my balance in everything. When I got annoyed by something, she was the one to help me to understand it and put it into perspective. And when she felt helpless about something, I was the one who helped her to find her focus and strength. In every sense of the word, I loved your mother."

"Philos, eros and agape?"

I let out a slight huff of brooding laughter and stared back up at the ceiling. "The holy trinity of love. Yes. She was all three to me."

"Daddy," my daughter said quietly. "Look at me." I looked at her and saw full, wet tears in her eyes. "That's what I feel when I'm with you." She leaned down and kissed me in such a way that I could feel the very fullness of her sorrow, fear, love, courage and awe. She placed a loving hand on my cheek and added, "I know I'm your daughter and that we can't actually have children or get married or anything, but... for now... aside from loving you as my dad, I love you more than life itself. I DO know how much Mom meant to you, so I won't try to be what she was. But is it okay if, even if it's just a little while, if I just... love you?"

I smiled sweetly at her, feeling for all the world like I'd been given the most valuable thing on planet Earth. "For a while, sure, honey. But believe me when I tell you: one day you'll find a better man."

Kelly smirked at that. "I doubt it, Dad. You're the first man I've ever known. Every other man I'll ever meet is going to have some mighty big shoes to fill. But if I somehow, some way, manage to find one who comes close, I'll snatch him up in a heartbeat. And that's a promise." My lovely daughter planted another gentle kiss on my lips and said, "But until then, Dad, you're my guy."

Hearing that just filled me up with such incredible pride and joy that I couldn't have hidden it if my life depended on it. I beamed a huge smile at her and said, "And you're my girl."