Disguises

This time, it was only days, not weeks before John returned. Every day he came back to the group, the woman would appear and the food shared in silence would happen again. Soon John would be back to the group on a daily basis, and the woman would be there too. "She sure is persistent." he thought to himself, as he began to enjoy the time they spent together. He finally broke the silence again, and asked her to tell him about her son. Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and yet the lady would return every day to talk with him. He never said a word, and she never asked him to.

Eventually, John felt it was time to have an actual conversation with her.

"Hello ma'am. My name is John. What can I do for you?"

For a moment, Tina was in shock. These were the first words he had said to her in almost three months, and they were the exact same words her used the first time. She decided to reply in kind.

"Hello John. My name is Tina Anderson, and I have been waiting a long time for this day."

This brought a smile to John's face. Tina had noticed that John's eyes each day began to show more life, and less anguish. That's why she never missed a day to talk with him.

"John, tell me about you."

John thought for a moment, trying to decide if he was ready to share his story. This crazy woman was no longer a stranger, but not a friend either, something in between. He decided to share the gist of his life over the last four years. This went on for several more weeks. This time it was Tina who sat in silence while John spoke. John noticed with each days telling, more of the burden he had been carrying seemed to lift away. Finally, John had nothing left to say, and Tina asked that fateful question he was hoping she would never ask.

"John, what happened before these last four years?"

John's face clouded over and he got up and walked away saying "Thank you for the conversation. Excuse me now. I have things I need to get done." Tina realized John wasn't ready to talk about that time in his life, and feared she may have cause irreparable harm to their relationship. It was just a few days before John returned again, and the silent times returned. Tina was happy he accepted her company, but saddened by the apparent step backwards.

Heather had been watching the unfolding scenario for almost six months now. She was now certain that Tina was correct. This man was James, her James. She had decided to not interfere yet. She wanted his mom to make progress before she got involved. As her realization of his identity came to fruition her mind, her imagination about him began to grow. She imagined what would have happened if he had not been lost. She imagined a marriage, the house with a white picket fence, and three children, all the stuff little girls dream of.

Her more adult fantasies also began to seep in. More days than not, she found herself stroking that bundle of nerves at the precipice of her vagina. Sometimes it was her fingers, sometimes her vibrator, and sometimes it was using the new dildo she bought, plunging it into her depths of enjoyment. No matter the instrument, she would orgasm with his name on her lips. She could hardly contain her excitement for the day that time would come.

July 15, 1982

James walked home after that uncomfortable conversation with the crazy lady. She actually thought he was her son. While he didn't remember his past, and he did feel that connection with her, he felt that if she was his mother, he would at least remember that. John stayed home for almost a month, he was afraid to meet that crazy lady again. He both felt drawn to her, while frightened by her earnestness at the same time. Eventually, his desire for comradery, and of course the ache he felt being away from the office lady drew him back.

As soon as he showed up again, some of his friends gave him a ribbing for being gone so long. One of his buddies told him that the crazy lady, Tina, had been back most every day asking about him. He knew if he stayed, she would show up again. He decided to see where things went. Almost as though she had been watching for him, she appeared just after he sat down. She again offered him a bagel and coffee, and this time there was no talking. After he finished his coffee, he stood, said thank you, and started walking home. He heard the lady say "You're welcome." just before he was out of earshot.

John stayed home again thinking on the situation. Sitting with the woman felt comfortable, and the silence didn't bother him. Would he be ok with that? He decided yes, but would she be ok with it? Only time would tell. John decided to return to his normal routine and see what befell him. Sure enough, the woman would show up, offer him a bagel and coffee, and then sit next to him without saying a word. Almost three months had past and he decided to reward her persistence with an indulgence of her insanity.

"Tell me about your son." he said to her.

She paused a moment then said "Where to begin? James is a wonderful man and I miss him greatly." She went on from there, describing the moment of his birth, to the moment of his death notification. This telling of his tale took months, and through all this time John listened. He never said a word, just ate the offered bagel, drank the offered coffee, and let her talk. After about three months John decided it was once again time to offer the lady a lifeline. Remembering the first time they spoke, John broke his silence.

"Hello mam. My name is John. What can I do for you?"

For a moment the woman appeared to be in shock. These were the first words he had said to her in almost three months, and he had deliberately used the exact same words he used the first time.

She replied in kind.

"Hello John. My name is Tina Anderson, and I have been waiting a long time for this day."

This brought a smile to John's face. Tina had recognized his intentional choice in bringing their conversation back to the beginning.

"John, tell me about you."

John knew this time had been coming. He decided a middle ground revelation would be best. He spent the next several weeks relating his tale of woe, but not going into his imprisonment or details on the tortures he had been subjected to. She then had to go and ask the question he dreaded the most.

"John, what happened before these last four years?"

John realized he didn't have an answer he could give her, and didn't want to admit to his memory loss, so he just got up, thanked her for the conversations and walked off. He went back a few days later, the lady once again appeared with bagel and coffee in hand. He decided that maybe silence was the best choice, and she seemed to accept that. They once again began the comfortable, but silent partnership.

Once again, several weeks passed in silence. He began to accept her into his ring of friends. While she did not engage him in conversation, she had no problems speaking with the others, yet she never did leave his side. He began to trust her, and decided to relate the rest of his story. He told her about his imprisonment, the military's inability to identify him due to clerical error, his inability to honestly remember any part of his former life before the imprisonment, including his loss of identity.

"So you see, I don't know who I am, and there is no way to ever find out."

Tina seemed deep in thought for a moment, then a smile crossed her face.

"There actually may be away. James was a good kid and never got into any trouble, and because of that, the police don't have his fingerprints on file. However, when James was young, there was a police safety day at his school. As part of that day, each child was fingerprinted. I still have that fingerprint set at home in a scrap book. If you would be willing to come with me, we could grab the prints and head to the police station to have your prints compared to his. If I am correct, and I am sure I am, they should be a perfect match."

This set John back a moment. Should he take this opportunity afforded him? So many times John had been disappointed when attempts at identification and memory retrieval had failed. Here was this lady who was certain she knew who he is. She even had a way to either prove, or disprove her claim. Did he want to risk the pain of failure again for the seemingly insignificant chance to gain proof of his existence? This was a literal life changing possibility and not a step that he felt should be rushed into.

"I think I may like to do that, but I need time to think about it. If you're right, this would mean a tremendous change in my life, and I am not sure if I am ready for it. If you are wrong, it would be another devastating disappointment."

This seemed to curb Tina's enthusiasm.

"I understand. Take as long as you like. I have waited this long, a little more won't hurt."

For the first time since they met, the two companions talked about life in the now, rather life in the past. John felt this gave him an opportunity to get to know her a little better, rather than just through her son's stories.

July 1, 1983

Just like every other day for the last 6 months, Tina sat down next to John and shared her time and sustenance. John decided it was time to take a leap or cut his losses.

"Tina?"

"Yes John?"

"I am ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I am ready to find out who I am."

"Really? Oh my gosh. Are you sure?" Tina seemed almost giddy with Joy.

"Yes Tina, I am sure."

"Great. I actually have your, I mean his fingerprint set in my car. Sorry, I'm just a little excited."

"It's ok Tina, I am a bit nervous, but excited as well. Let's go."

And they did.

Heather had noticed Tina and James, she no longer thought of him as anything other than James, seemed to be getting along much better now than when they had first started conversing. On the way back into the office with lunch, she notice that both James and Tina were missing. They were both definitely here that morning. When she asked the other people about it, they said something about James having agreed to go with Tina to check on some fingerprints. Heather realized the day she had been waiting for was almost upon her.

When Heather left for the day, she noticed James and Tina were back. Tina seemed to be saying goodbye, Heather overheard part of their conversation.

"Remember, the police said they would have a result on Monday afternoon. So I will pick you up here that morning and we will have a nice lunch while we wait."

"I remember Tina, and I will be here waiting on you."

Heather realized this was her chance. James would be at the Anderson's on their pseudo anniversary. This was her chance, and she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity presented to her.

July 4th, 1983

Heather had been feeling anxious all morning. She saw Tina pull into her driveway about an hour ago, and she and James both, got out of her car and walked into the house. It was time. She walked over to the Anderson's and rang the doorbell.

"Hello Mrs. Anderson. Can I see him please?"

"Hello Heather. Whom do you mean? Tom?"

"No, James."

Tina stared at her a moment.

"John, someone is at the door to see you."

When John got to the door, Heather started to cry.

"You promised!" she yelled, slammed something into his chest, and took off running. She did not see John glance at the thing she left, pause a moment, and then collapse to the ground crying.

John heard the doorbell ring. When Tina answered it, she seemed a bit taken back by the visitor.

"Hello Mrs. Anderson. Can I see him please?"

"Hello Heather. Whom do you mean? Tom?"

"No, James."

It took a moment for Tina to respond.

"John, someone is at the door to see you."

John had no clue who would be looking for him here, no one even knew he was here. When he got to the door, he was surprised to see the office lady standing there. She had tears in her eyes.

"You promised!" she yelled slamming something into his chest. He grabbed onto the object and watched as she ran off. He looked down at the object in his hands, got wide eyed, and collapsed to the ground in tears.

"Mom?" he said.

Tina heard the doorbell ring. When she answered it, she saw the neighbor girl, Heather Brookes, standing at the door.

"Hello Mrs. Anderson. Can I see him please?"

"Hello Heather. Whom do you mean? Tom?"

"No, James."

Tina was shocked that Heather knew about James.

"John, someone is at the door to see you."

Tina stepped back and let John go to the door.

"You promised!" Heather exclaimed shoving John in the chest and taking off running.

Tina saw John look down at his hands, stiffen a moment, and then collapse in tears.

"Mom?" she heard him say.

"John, what's wrong?"

"My name isn't John."

"What do you mean?" Then his words seem to sink in.

"Did you just call me Mom?...James?"

John turned to her holding out an object in her direction.

"I remember this!" he yelled as he stared at her through tear filled eyes.

Tina looked down to see Heather's most prized possession, her Polaroid of James and herself. Tina didn't know what the words written on it meant, "I promise", but right now that didn't matter to her. She had her son back. She kneeled on the ground and took James into her arms for the first time in 10 years. After a few minutes of hugging and crying, there was a knock on the open door. Looking up, Tina saw the Police Chief standing there.

"Uh, Tina?" he asked seeing her on the ground crying holding a young man. "We have the results of the fingerprint analysis."

"We already know!" she exclaimed jumping up and giving the man a giant hug. "Thank you so much!"

Heather couldn't believe what just happened. She had this long speech prepared and was set to make her case. Instead she freaked out when she saw his face and ran off after screaming at him. She ran straight home, slammed the door on her way to her room, and threw herself on the bed crying. She'd blown her opportunity, there was no other way to look at it. Instead of presenting herself in a good light and professing her love, she screamed at him. Heather only realized she left her Polaroid behind after she got home. She was too embarrassed to go ask for it back, so her last connection to James was lost forever.

Every man she had ever dated was measured against her memories of James, and they all failed to meet his qualifications, and now she'd lost him as well. She would never find another opportunity at love like she held in her grasp before. She was doomed to a life of misery and sadness. All these things raced through her mind as she lay on her bed, face buried in her pillow. As Heather lay in her self-pity, she heard the doorbell ring.

"Heather?"

"Yes mother."

"There is someone at the door to see you."

"Dear God no." she said to herself. It could only be one person, and she was way too embarrassed to speak to him now.

"I'm busy mom! Tell them to go away!"

After a few moments of silence, there came a knocking at her door.

"Go away mom. I'm busy."

There was no reply, just another knock.

Heather got up for her bed to answer the door, exasperated words forming on her lips.

"Jesus mom, I told you I'm b......" Heather stopped mid-sentence as the person on the other side of the door was not her mother. It was James!

"Hello Heather." He said.

Heather tried to slam the door shut, but he blocked the closure with a raised hand. She ran back to her bed screaming "Go away! Leave me alone!", and she threw herself back on the bed, once again hiding her face in the pillows. She felt, more than heard his presence get closer, as her sobbing blocked out all other sound. She felt her bed compress a little as he sat down next to her. She shivered as she felt his hand land on her back and begin to softly comfort her. This only brought on a newer, stronger set of tears.

"Heather, look at me." She only shook her head no.

"I'm not leaving until you turn over and talk with me." She still refused to budge.

Ignoring her exclamation to be left alone, he stayed by her side, comforting her as best he could, until her tears turned into sobs, and her sobs turned into sighs. Accepting the inevitable, she sat up, but kept her face turned from him. She did not want him to see her tear streaked face and blurry, watery eyes.

"I don't have any other words to say to you other than "Thank you.", you saved my life."

Heather was perplexed. How did she save his life?

"I have been home for almost five years, and in this town for four of them. I have watched you from afar, almost that entire time. I never spoke to you, not because I didn't want to acknowledge you, I honestly didn't remember. I felt this connection to you I couldn't explain, but I knew you were special to me somehow."

Heather turned in his direction, a question on her lips.

"You didn't remember me?"

"Not you Heather, anything. I won't go into details at this time, but I had no memories prior to being rescued all those years ago. I didn't remember you, I didn't remember this town, I didn't even remember my own parents. You are the one who kept me here, and you are the one who brought me back, at least part of the way."

"How?"

"This." he said handing her the Polaroid.

"When you handed me this photo, it felt familiar. Then that day came crashing back. I remembered sitting with you on that porch. I remember watching the fireworks with you, I remembered the promise. I remembered, you were, are my best friend, and I am so glad to be home again."

Heather basically leapt into his arms and wrapped her own arms around him, holding him tight as if afraid of losing him again. Her tears began anew, and his own tears were added into the mix. Heather and James held each other for a long time until their tears settled once again.

"I still have not regained most of my memories, but I do remember you, I remember my family, and I am remembering what it means to be happy."

"And about the promise you made?" she asked.

"Honestly Heather, at the time I made that promise, it was just me humoring a little girl, my best friend."

Heather seemed heartbroken as she pulled away from him. As tears once again started to fill her eyes, he laid a finger on her lips and "Shushed" her.

"Like I said, at the time. Heather, I have watched you for the last 4 years. Day in and day out, I watched you walk in and out of that office door. And each day, my heart grew a little more. I didn't know what the connection I had with you meant, but I knew what I wanted it to mean. Heather, you are not a little girl anymore. I would like to get to know this vibrant young lady you have become a lot better. Would that be ok? To start over at the beginning? And maybe renew our friendship, and possibly more?"

She simply replied "Yes."

"Great. Tomorrow, you and I, lunch. Is that ok?"

"That would be wonderful."

He stood up, gave her cheek a kiss, and walked out the door. Heather was definitely looking forward to tomorrow.