Divorcée

Sitting on the top step of the back porch, Ada looked across the large back yard, watching a single brown rabbit hopping by along the distant tree line. The rabbit was alone, as was she. Breathing a heavy sigh, she could not truly appreciate the beauty of the snow-covered landscape and the pair of cardinals perched in a nearby tree.

Even though the divorce had been bitter, the house felt very empty without his presence. She was definitely thankful that they had not brought any children into the world, for the nastiness of the divorce would have scared and scarred any children beyond her ability to help them through it. They did split the two cats, however, but that was relatively easy, as the older cat clearly preferred his company while the younger cat, barely more than a cute little kitten, definitely preferred to be in her presence.

With yet another heavy sigh, she slowly stood, feeling the cold deep in her bones despite having just recently celebrated her third twenty-ninth birthday with an iTunes playlist of sad songs and a small bottle of wine. Without question, Ada needed to move on with her life, but after nearly a decade of marriage which ended with his infidelity, she was not particularly keen on truly becoming involved with another man yet, even though her body craved a sexual release - not the kind that could come from herself and not from some random stranger, but the kind that could come only from someone who truly cherished her.

As the wintry sky began to darken along with her overall mood, she decided that she needed to be with people. Having spent most of the previous two weeks alone at home, having shut her friends and her original family out of her life during and after the divorce, she knew that it would take a long time for them to truly open up to her again, that it would likely be easier and perhaps even faster to open up to new people in her life. The only question was where to find these new people.

*****

Braving the icy roads, she drove the old Jetta to the local mall, finding her spirit warming as the parking lot came into view. There were definitely a lot of shoppers at the mall, even for a Friday night, with more vehicles entering than leaving the parking lot.

Ada almost immediately regretted having gone to the mall, however. 2009 had barely begun, and already the Valentine's Day decorations were on display. The card store near a side entrance already proclaimed sales on Valentine's Day cards. The women's clothing in the nearby store windows were either incredibly sexy or set a tone with pink and red colors in great prominence - or both. Candy Hearts stickers blazed a trail deeper into the mall, likely leading to the main candy store near the Food Court.

If anything, the bright lights and the general heat were welcoming. If nothing else, the bookstore would be a good place to find refuge for a while.

Slowly, she trudged through the mall, the winter coat open so she would not be too warm. Only peripherally was she aware of the eyes upon her, an awareness she had cast aside for too long. Ada knew that she was beautiful, she knew that she attracted the attention of most men and even of some women, but she never tried to flaunt her beauty or use it to her advantage to get her way.

Even as she perused the shelves in the bookstore, she could feel eyes upon her - eyes which drank her in, eyes which undressed her, eyes which probed within her. Although she was pointedly ignoring them, she felt one pair of eyes not so much drinking her in or undressing her or probing her, but truly appraising her. The appraisal definitely felt different, but she pointedly tried to ignore that pair of eyes - and all the other eyes befalling her - to instead select a few books to help her through the days and nights of lonely solitude in the seemingly-empty house.

She was squatting to see what was on the lowest shelf when she heard a rustling approaching her, but she paid it no attention, focusing on the description on the back of a medieval fantasy novel from an unfamiliar author. The rustling stopped, and she sensed a presence behind her, but continued to ignore it, selecting another book from the shelf to review its back cover. Ultimately finding nothing of great interest on the lowest shelf, Ada stood to move over to the next set of books.

"Wow. You're tall!"

The voice was soft, and definitely feminine - not what she had anticipated from the intensity of the appraisal she had felt, but that did not truly matter. Turning around, she saw who had addressed her, and was a little surprised to find that the blonde woman before her was just as tall, perhaps an inch taller.

Strangely enough, their common height was enough to begin a meaningful conversation, and they left the bookstore with six books and a friendship between them.

*****

As the weeks passed, the aftertaste of the divorce faded into obscurity, although the house still felt empty. The single cat was good for companionship in general, but she needed Human companionship specifically.

That was what prompted Ada to invite Myra for coffee one afternoon, and Myra immediately accepted, which resulted in the two women sitting at the dining room table sipping freshly-brewed espresso and looking out the large bay window at the falling snow. As in their previous meetings, Ada was quite aware of her new friend's eyes upon her, and she was finding herself making discrete glances at Myra beyond just simply admiring what she was wearing or trying to decipher her body language.

"I'd better get home," Myra finally sighed. "Joe would be a little annoyed if dinner wasn't ready when he got back from the office."

"I understand that all too well."

Even though Ada was no longer a wife, the two women shared a smile of solidarity,

*****

In her dream, Ada was tanning on the deck of a cruise ship, being admired as usual by the many men, thankful for the dark sunglasses to watch them pass her as they undressed her with their eyes. To her surprise, Myra strolled into view, also wearing a tasteful bikini, and strolled toward her, kneeling beside her lounge chair and caressing her cheek with a deep fondness as several men stopped and watched the two women sharing a tender moment.

When she awoke during the night, Ada was surprised to feel her heart beat had quickened. Under the covers, she moved a hand to her chest, confirming that the rhythm within had indeed accelerated during her slumber. Only then did the divorcée realize that, perhaps, what had begun with a meaningful conversation in the aisles of a bookstore could potentially become something more.

*****

They laughed together over stories of their past: experiences at Girl Scout summer camp, the first time men tried to remove their bras, thoughts about once-popular boy bands...

It was a soft, gentle touch, one which was completely unexpected yet one which felt entirely natural: Myra's fingertips gracing the back of her hand.

Suddenly, Ada was aware only of Myra. The food court of the mall - as well as the sounds and the smells and especially the people within that space - suddenly no longer existed. All that existed was Myra. All that existed was one special person: a woman with whom, despite having known each other for only a few weeks, she felt a kinship stronger than what she had once felt for her former husband.

The laughter faded quickly, but the eyes retained their softness and their fondness, and for the first time in many months, Ada felt herself blush.

"Shall we go?" Myra asked quietly, her voice still the only perceptible sound.

Unable to speak, Ada merely nodded.

*****

The walk along the park trail was nice. The weather was warmer, but the snow was definitely not in danger of melting away. The large expanse of Nature within the city was only sparsely populated at mid-afternoon, giving the two women privacy.

That definitely helped, for as the trail passed by a small pond, Myra purposely stopped, nudged Ada back against a tree, and drew close.

The kiss was soft, respectful, and slow. Most importantly, the kiss felt right. It was the first intimate contact with another woman, yet it felt right - just as everything with Myra had felt right.

A bird chirped loudly, as if praising the two tall women for finally acknowledging what Ada suspected had been present since their first meeting in the bookstore. As Myra's lips finally drew back, as their eyes opened and gazed, it was clear to Ada that a new chapter in her life had truly begun at last.

...until she remembered the husband.

They walked a little further along the park trail before she finally broached the critical issue: "What about Joe?"

Myra made a soft indescribable sound. "He allows me to seek out other women freely, just as I allow him to seek out other men. It's not something either of us do very often, but we're both respectful of each other's space in that respect."

"Are you sure?" Ada asked, fascinated that such open relationships truly existed.

"It's all I've known with him, ever since our college days. I know he loves me, and I love him, but I know that he occasionally needs to explore his bisexual nature and he knows I'm the same. We had some jealousies about it initially, but we're still one hundred percent committed to each other."

"So I suppose I'm really just more of a friend with benefits?"

"Perhaps," Myra admitted.

As they walked in silence, Ada considered that, and ultimately gave her verdict: "I can live with that."

*****

Several nights later, Ada proved it.

Kissing Myra was "easy," for a kiss is a kiss. Myra's kisses were slower, less needy, more sensual, and bespoke of an admiration and desire for Ada as a person, not just as a woman.

That helped Ada to gain comfort and confidence in this new experience. For the first time since she was a little girl, another woman undressed her, slowly caressing and kissing and licking and scratching and even gently biting the newly-exposed skin with each button which was released, each zipper which was lowered, and each garment which was discarded, until at last, nervous yet desirous, she lay naked on her own bed with Myra perched between her legs, carefully and expertly helping her climb the sexual mountain and doing everything possible to prolong her free-fall into the abyss of bliss, then - remaining fully dressed - holding Ada close in the afterglow and expecting absolutely nothing in return.

It was not love. It was companionship with a deeper meaning. But most importantly, Ada no longer felt alone.