Don’t Believe Everything You Read

Michael got out and walked to the side of the house staying in the shadows so the neighbors couldn't see him. He climbed over the fence and crawled up on the air conditioning unit to peer in the living room window. When he got a good look inside he was flabbergasted at what he saw. There was Fran and a bunch of her girlfriends all dressed in their underwear parading around and laughing and toasting each other with the long stemmed wine glasses that his sister gave them for their wedding. Fran was wearing a black bustier with a black thong and black stockings and heels. She looked absolutely gorgeous, slutty but gorgeous. Her friend Marcie was standing in front of her wearing a long flowing white negligee. "Damn, I didn't know she was that hot," Michael thought as he almost lost his balance on the air conditioning unit. Fran's little sister came up behind Marcie and put her arm around her waist. Her little sister was wearing only a pink thong and a pink bra. Other women he didn't know were milling around the room also in underwear or lingerie talking and drinking. Michael was starting to get hard looking at all the beautiful half-naked women. He didn't remember the camera he was holding. He just stood there and watched and suddenly a light bulb went on over his head.

"Christ, my wife's a lezzie."

As he stood there staring at all the beautiful women in their underwear a man walked down the stairs carrying an armload of clothes. Michael could hear him say what sounded like, "Here you go ladies, try these beauties on. I've got something for everybody." Michael did notice that the man was very muscular and appeared to be a body builder of some kind, and even though the thought disgusted him, he had to admit that he was a very good looking man.

As he brought the camera up in front of his face to take pictures he heard from behind "OK mister. Don't move. Turn slowly and step down here." Michael turned and found a light shining in his eyes. When he covered his eyes he was able to make out the dim image of a policeman holding a flashlight. "Mother fucker!" he said to himself. He slowly stepped down off of the air conditioning unit and stood in front of the officer.

"Put your hands behind your head," the tall officer said. Michael complied and the officer cuffed his hands behind his back. "Now, do you mind telling me what you think you're doing, as if I can't tell?"

Michael whimpered, "Look officer, it isn't what it looks like. I can explain. This is my house and my wife's in there having an orgy with a bunch of women. I'm trying to get proof of her cheating on me so I can divorce the bitch. Really!"

"That's the best one I've heard in a while. Let's go over to my car and check you out."

In a moment Michael was sitting on his hands in the back seat with the officer in the front seat looking at Michael's driver's license and talking to the dispatcher. "Well, there are no warrants or restraining orders on you and this is your address, so maybe you're clean. I think we should ask your wife if she wants you here."

"No, no she can't find me here. I'll never get the proof I need to fry her. Just let me go and I'll get out of here and find some other way."

"Uh, sorry pal, no can do. Besides, look at the front window. Everyone's looking out at us so they know we're out here."

Fran came out onto the porch wearing a long coat and the officer went out to talk to her. After some conversation they both walked over to the cruiser.

"Michael? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at your class. What's going on?" Fran said as she peered through the police car window with a worried look on her face.

Thinking quickly Michael said, "I came home early and saw all of the lights on and all of the cars in the driveway and was worried about what was going on so I went to the side window and looked in. That's when the officer saw me and thought I was a peeping Tom or a burglar or something."

"That's crazy. We're just having one of Marcie's lingerie parties. You know everybody here."

"Who the hell is that man?" Michael motioned toward the porch where he was standing.

"LeRoy? He's the clothing supplier. He get's everything organized and set up and helps to pick out the right outfits for the guests. He's always there. He's harmless."

"Harmless hell, I saw him. He's built like Mister Universe and good looking. What do all you women plan on doing with him? A bunch of half naked women running around can only arouse him. And then what, take turns upstairs?"

"Michael, he's gay."

The police officer turned away and started laughing into his hands. By now everybody was either standing on the porch wearing coats or peering around the corner of the window and door. Michael could only shrink down in the seat. Fran turned to the officer and said, "It's OK officer. I'll vouch for this idiot. He's not as dangerous as he looks. Can you release him?"

"Yes ma'am. You can have him."

The officer helped Michael out of the car and as he unlocked the handcuffs he whispered in Michael's ear, "Boy are you fucked!"

The officer drove away and Michael stood in the front yard with Fran staring bullets at him. "OK mister. Before we go inside, explain yourself."

"I will, just let me get something out of my car."

He walked to his car, got in and sped away, leaving Fran standing in the yard with her mouth open.

When he got into his room at the motel his cell phone began to ring. He just turned it off and started packing up all of his belongings. He had to make a decision whether to drive home and face the music or keep on driving in the opposite direction.

********

It was well after midnight when Michael pulled into the driveway. The house lights were off and Fran's car was parked in the driveway where it should be. All the other cars were gone. He didn't feel like going inside to face her so he sat on the front porch and listened to the crickets. It was some time before he heard the door open behind him.

"Well, do you want to explain tonight's little show?" Fran said as she sat down beside him.

"Not really. Just yell at me now and get it over with."

"I'm not going to yell at you. I may have you put somewhere with rubber walled rooms but I'm not going to yell at you. You worry me sometimes. Just tell me what you were thinking."

After a long pause to organize his thoughts Michael let it all go. "It's like this. I was worried that you were cheating on me. Let's face it, we've not been together very much lately because you're always working late or with a sick friend or out with the girls. And I've had more sex with myself than you in the last couple months. Christ, we never talk anymore. What was I supposed to think?"

Fran stared at him for a long time before saying anything. "That's it? You thought I was having an affair? Where in the hell did you get an idea like that?"

"Well, it's all those stories I've been reading on that erotic stories website about wives who cheat on their husbands. We had all of the classic symptoms. You did all of the same things that those women did. I could only believe that you, well, you know..."

Fran was looking down at her feet. Slowly her eyes rose to meet his and she said, "Are you shitting me? IT'S FICTION, FOR CHRIST SAKE! None of that stuff happens in real life. GET REAL MICHAEL! No, better yet, get out of here. If you think for one minute that some bullshit you read on some fiction story site is real life then you need to go away and have your head examined. Just get as far away from me as you can. Do it now before I smash that little pea you call a brain all over this porch. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN YOU BE?"

Michael could only look down at his own feet in embarrassment. He also couldn't think of anything to say. He just sat there.

"And another thing, did you buy some electronic equipment to help you catch me cheating on you? There is a fifteen hundred dollar charge on our credit card."

"Yeah, that was me."

"GODDAMN IT, MICHAEL! We can't afford for you to be buying a bunch of crap to try to trap me doing something that only exists in your warped imagination. I don't know whether to be flattered or pissed off. Right now I'm pissed. You know I'd never do anything like that. CHRIST ALMIGHTY!"

"I'm sorry. I was just worried. I don't want to lose you. I just couldn't stand being a cuckold. I'd die." The tears started to well up in his eyes as he admitted this.

Fran put her hand on Michael's shoulder and said, "No, you dumb shit. You won't lose me. I'm not cheating on you. I never have and I never will. You may be the stupidest man I've ever met but I love you and I wouldn't do anything like that to our marriage. Michael, you can't believe everything you read in those stupid stories. They're not reality, we are. Now, dry your eyes and go get us a beer."

Michael stood and went into the house for the beers.

Fran let out a heavy sigh and reached into her robe, took out her cell phone and pressed a speed dial number.

"Hey, it's me. Yeah, everything's all right but the dumb shit knows something's going on. We're going to have to cool it for a while. Yeah, yeah, I love you too. I can't wait until we're together again too. Soon, baby, soon. Bye!"