Dora's Dilemma

All had been quiet from the Gods for close to half an hour, well outside of the sappy love songs still playing on the jukebox. At least they had restrained themselves from signing it to me. That was a blessing! When the last song had ended "WHAT A GIRL WANTS" by Christina Aguilera, I waited to see what they would torture me with next. I was very surprised when "Falling out Of Love with me" by Dolly Parton started playing.

The hardest thing I've done or that I'll ever do
Was to just walk off and leave you
But I knew I had to leave you
'Cause I couldn't stay and watch you
Falling out of love with me
The worst pain that I've ever known
Or that I'll ever know
Was to see your love-a-dying
And to have to watch it dying
And I couldn't stand to watch you
Falling out of love with me.

I was so surprised that I let slip, "Did ya'll give up? What, is that the best you can do?"

I could have kicked myself as soon as the words were out of my mouth, but I was too late to take them back. My big mouth and me I thought. Then I noticed something else, I realized that someone was singing it to me. This was not one of the other Gods or even the new Goddess mom. This was a new person. Hey, I did have help. 'Thank the Gods for small favors,' I thought.

Before I could stop myself yet again I asked, "Who is the newest Goddess? For that matter who is 'Mom', if I have to listen to ya'll I at least want names? I know of several Goddesses that could be the mother of Eros and Anteros. I just want to know for sure. My bet is on Aphrodite. She is the Goddess of love and they did refer to their mom as being the Goddess of Love. Now for the new person, who are you?"

"Yes I am Aphrodite, supposed to be the mother of these two clowns, but even I wouldn't dare them like you did. Daring a God is not a good idea. That goes right up there with trying to steal gold from Fort Knox," Aphrodite cackled.

"My sweet child, you ask for my help and don't even recognize me? I know I have been away for a while, but when someone like you calls for my help I would like to think you would know me," Athena acted hurt as she revealed herself.

"The only one I asked for help in a round about way was from…. Athena! You heard me! Oh, wow. Why are Gods and Goddesses able to hear me? What do you mean a person like me? This is very cool. Oh, wait! If you can hear me now, does that mean you listen in when I am …" I trailed off.

"Yes daring the Gods of love isn't a good idea. We could make your life a living hell if we wanted too," Anteros smiled with amusement.

"Harm my granddaughter and I'll make you wish you were in Tartarus," Athena returned with vengeance.

"What do you mean your granddaughter? You're a virgin," they all replied at once.

"Well, yes I am, but she is my granddaughter through ERICHTHONIUS. So as far as I'm concerned she is my kin. So, back off, leave the poor girl alone. If she doesn't want to be involved with him, she doesn't have to," Athena stated.

"You don't know the whole story! She HAS to get with him. We know she has blood of the Gods. That is why it is so important that she is mated with Micheal MacGréine," Aphrodite asserted.

"Okay this is getting a little odd. How do I have God blood? Okay, this hallucination was fine at first, but this is too weird. Can you go away now? I want off this trip," I avowed.

At that moment, Mike chose to come back.

'Thank the Gods. Maybe they will leave now. All I have to do is to make them go away. They can't be real. None of this is real. I ain't kin to no Gods, nope, no way, not going there!' I decided that I have been drinking too much caffeine. That has to be it, a caffeine overdose, not enough to eat. Drink more water. I pushed the rest of my beer away.

"Mike, sweetheart, can you get me a large glass of water and throw this beer away? Oh, one more thing unplug that Goddamn jukebox; if I have to listen to one more love song tonight I'm gonna throw up," I swore.

"Good thing you are giving up that beer. Sounds like you have had too much as it is. Honey the jukebox has been broke for two weeks. There's no music playing. Have you been doing LDS or shrooms?" Mike asked.

"Gotcha; no I'm not on LSD, or shrooms. I was just pulling a prank. The jukebox is broke. What happened? You want me to take a look at it?" I changed the subject.

"That was a quick save darling. They would have locked you up for the rest of your life. Now try to play it cool. We will explain everything in time," Apollo joined in.

"OH God, no, don't tell me there is another one! Who in Hades is this new one?" I asked.

"No, that is my Uncle. I'm Apollo the God of the sun, music, poetry and a few others. It's nice to meet you. Now if everyone will quit telling her stuff she can't handle right now. We can get this finished ASAP. I have a few playmates to have fun with," Apollo asserted.

"Forget the water Mike. Can you just bring me a Dr. Pepper? I'm okay, honest. I was just kidding," I asked Mike.

"Okay I'll get you one more DP. Then we take you home. You can look at the jukebox tomorrow. Not sure, what is wrong. It just doesn't come on. It maybe a fuse, but I don't dare touch it. The last time I tried to fix the fuse the damn thing never turned off," Mike laughed.

I watched Mike walk away with the rest of my beer. I sat there and listened to the Gods and Goddess argued over what I could and could not handle. At least the sappy love songs had stopped. Instead, Athena must have ordered the Muses to play other types. This was weird though; I was listening to music that no one else could hear. I decided that I was not going to let Mike know that I could hear the Gods talk. He would be checking me into a padded cell with me wearing a hug me suit, and I didn't want any joy juice either. Nope. If I was going to go insane, I wanted to do it at home. There wasn't any way I was going to be sitting beside guys who thought that they're Hitler or George Washington. Talking to these Greek Gods was enough for me.

When Mike got back with two sodas, we sat there in silence. When was the last time we did this? Usually we talked about work and mundane things. When things got too personal or too quiet I had run away. I missed these times, but I also didn't want to see his love for me die. That is why I left.

"Okay talk to me. Why won't you let me in? Why do you keep pushing me away? I'm not Paul. I won't hurt you as he did. I understand what you did that night. He had it coming to him. Please talk to me," Mike implored.

"Talk to him! Let him know why you are scared," Eros suggested.

"Tell him that you don't love him and for him to leave you alone, child. If that is how you feel tell him," Athena responded.

"Athena no offense, but shut up," Apollo retorted.

I swallowed the last of my soda, "Let's go find a private place and we'll talk. It's long over due I tell you how I feel and why I left. I just hope that I can figure it out myself."

"Okay, but remember tonight I am not taking no for an answer. It has been too long and I need you tonight. I'm not going back to an empty home. We will figure it out together," Mike asserted.

I didn't feel like arguing right then. I just wanted to do this one step at a time. He would see I was right. I would hurt him in the end and then he would hate me. That I didn't want. If we left it like it was now, we could still be friends.

"She'll say yes, she has to. The Tuatha Dé Danann wants this union sealed as bad as we do. We will not give up," Anteros commented, "The House of Olympus Marries the House of Faery that will be the biggest news on Mount Olympia. Zeus wants it done NOW!"

"She's a woman, not a pawn in your chess game. She has feelings too. Let her make up her own mind," Athena argued.

I suddenly realized I was the most powerful woman alive if in fact I was the golden spike that would tie together The Ancient House of Olympus and The Tuatha de Danann… It was just possible I was the most powerful female throughout time, but I still wondered what was so important with those two houses to join forces. What would that mean of our lives? As I thought on this, I remembered that Apollo was the God of prophecy. He could give me a look into the future. That would lay to rest any worries I had of hurting Mike.

Why did Mike give up his sports car for a SUV, I began to wonder? He always loved it. I could see no reason why he needed to give it up or why he needed an SUV.

"Mike, why did you trade in your sports car?" I asked.

"I wanted to have it for when we got married and had kids," he let slip.

"What kids? You know I'm fixed and how do you know we will get married? What are you keeping from me? You seem awfully sure that I will marry you one day," I questioned.

Something started nagging me about his attitude the last few years. He seemed too confident. Like he had foreknowledge of what was going to happen. Had the Gods revealed themselves to him too? If that was the case, why hadn't he told me? I waited for Mike to answer me.

"We will talk about that later. Why you keep pushing me away? I will never hurt you. You know that. I love you so much it hurts not to hold you when I fall asleep. I have missed you being in my arms. Do you know how much your pushing me away hurts me? If you are trying to protect me from being hurt, you are doing a lousy job," Mike stated.

I thought that over. He was right. I was trying to protect him. I knew deep down he would never hurt me, but I was afraid of hurting him. I turned in the seat and really looked at him. He turned and faced me. It was still light outside so I could see his eyes clearly. I looked deep into them, searching them. What I saw stunned me. It shook me to the core. He didn't hide anything from me at that moment. All his feelings were open me to; he bared his soul.

By my pushing him away and protecting him from being hurt from me, I had hurt him deeply. I never realized that I had hurt him that bad. I had been selfish and only thought of my feelings. I never comprehended that he needed me, that I meant so much to him.

"How long, Mike?" I asked.

It was a simple question, but I knew he would understand what I wanted to know. I wanted to know how long he had loved me, how long he had known that the Gods wanted us together. It dawned on me that if the Gods had told me of their plans they would have told him too.

"I have loved you for a long time. I loved you before you even married that jackass Paul. I wanted to kill him then, but I didn't realize why I was so angry. It was only after he left you that it dawned on me. At that point, you were not ready for love. So I played it cool, went along with the friends with benefits. I have to make love to you and hold you. It was enough for me for a while," he divulged.

"When did you learn of the Gods and Faeries? Don't deny it; I can see in your eyes you know of them," I pushed.

"I told you she was smart. All it took was for her to really look and listen. She has known of us all her life. She just blocked it. Now her walls are down. She will never block us again. They will be the ones to help us start coming back. People will start to believe in us again and we will grow strong again. We will not fade away like so many of our brethren Gods, who were weakened by lack of belief in them.. After all, we draw our powers from the belief of our worshippers," Zeus announced himself.

"Who might you be?" I asked the new God aloud. No sense in pretence any more, Mike knew all about the Gods.

"That would be Zeus. He can be rather obnoxious sometimes, he reminds me of Danu the Mother Goddess of Fertility, Abundance and Protection. Have you ever noticed that most Gods and Goddesses can be irritating?" Mike needled the Gods.

"Ummm… Mike honey, I don't think it is a good idea to say that aloud. Hey! Wait a minute. How can you hear them, if they are talking in my head?" I demanded.

"Hahahahaha, for a smart girl you can be kind of dumb sometimes. Do you think we don't have powers to broadcast to him too? He has been listening to us all night too, honey. You just didn't know it. Oh, and we did a little projecting and let him hear your thoughts to us, too," Apollo revealed with a roar of laughter.

"GRRRRRRRR, I really want to kill me some Gods. How could ya'll! Don't you know women don't like it when you invade their privacy! If I had wanted him to know my private thoughts, I would have told him!" I roared.

"All of you male Gods are opinionated, narrow-minded, bigoted, cock sucking, cum-breath, inbred, mother-fucking, and not to mention male chauvinistic…"

"You finish that sentence girl and I will show you what I do to people who anger me," Zeus cut off my rant with just a mild irritation, but more amusement at my choice of name calling. This wasn't exactly new to the King of the Gods, or any of the other male deities.

"You know the child is showing some of her old backbone again, but I kind of liked it better when she called her loser ex-husband these names more than us. Are you sure, you want HER to be the one to help us? I am not sure she is the right one; she is not very obedient. I still say you should let me punish her!" Anteros put in.

"No, let Micheal do that," Zeus stepped in.

"Darling, I don't think it is a wise choice to call the King of Gods or any God for that matter those names," Mike interjected.

"You could have been nice and told me that I wasn't insane Mike!" I steamed.

"Now calm down baby. One thing at a time. I have known about all of these Gods for about six years now. After it appeared that I could not get you to say yes without help, the Faery Goddess called in Zeus. He thus tried to help me. When that failed, he called in Eros and Anteros for help. They decided that today would be a good day to do it. The Gods have a sick sense of humor sometimes. I think the Gods have a good enough sense of humor to allow me to call them irritating. Besides, I have done it for three years now; if they haven't killed me yet I don't think they are going to now.

"As for telling you about the Gods; if I had told you that they were real, you would have locked me up in a loony bin. Hell I almost locked myself up at one point. I didn't tell you tonight because it was in their hands now. Besides, I quite enjoyed the way they tormented you after all the years of being rejected," Mike answered all my questions.

"You're pressing your luck buddy. You are lucky we like you and find your sense of humor funny most days. Plus, it doesn't hurt that Danu has taken a liking to you," Aphrodite spoke up.

"Well, child, what will it be, are you going to tell them all to fuck off or are you going to say yes? While you haven't meant to, you have hurt the poor boy. Apollo showed me that. I think you need to give him a break and at least tell him you are not ruling marriage out any more," Athena replied.

I thought about what I had just found out. I was still contemplating finding out ways get rid of the Gods, but none of them seemed like they would work, plus all the Gods would do was laugh when I thought of a way. What was I going to say? I didn't know what to do. All I wanted right now was to kiss away the pain I caused Mike.

"Look Mike, I know you deserve the truth, but right now I don't know what to think or what the truth is any more," I revealed, 'There I said it, I admitted it.'

I loved Mike so much! All I wanted was for him to be happy and safe. I didn't think that he was safe from me. I had so much anger over what Paul had done.

Mike led me to his SUV and opened the door, "We'll get your car later. Right now, I want to take you home."

"Please don't turn me away this time. If you don't ever give me another night, please give me this last one. I know how I sound, but I have waited for you for three years. I need you. I can't think of going home tonight with making love to you. Please!" Mike responded as he pulled out of the driveway of the café.

I turned toward him. This time I really looked at him. I thought about what he said. I thought about what he asked. Then I thought about waking up tomorrow without him. The image would not come to mind. All I could see was his face on the pillow beside me, his arms wrapped around me, my head on his chest.

He pulled into his driveway. His house, the one he built three years ago, right before he asked me to marry him.

I watched Mike get out of the car and walk around the SUV to my side. He opened my door and held out his hand. When I laid my hand in Mike's waiting hand, it was as if I put my life into his safekeeping. We may be switches, we may both love being top at times, but deep down, I craved to have him be in charge tonight.

"Come," was all Mike said. That was all he needed to say. I was putty in his hands.

We walked to the front door. When we reached it, he turned to me. I knew what he wanted. I went to my knees. I don't know what came over me. I did not intend to do it, but before I knew it, there I was on my knees waiting for him.

Mike took out his keys and unlocked the door without saying anything. I waited on my knees until he spoke to me. I was not worried about what the neighbors would say. They knew our lifestyle. I was not afraid to wait on my knees. It was not the first time I had done this. I waited there, my hands palm up on my legs, head bowed, eyes lowered, waiting for his command, thinking about what I was going to say, what he would say.

He walked into the house and said, "Come in."

I got to my feet and followed him. He closed the door behind me and locked it. He put the keys into his pocket. He wanted to make sure I didn't run. I was tired of running…... from my past, from him, from my future, from the truth, and most of all tired from running from who I had become. I was his. I would always be his. Just like he would always be mine.

Mike walked over to the couch and sat down. He held out his hand to me. I looked at it and wondered what to do. In the end, I went to him. I knelt in front of him and laid my head in his lap. He waited, not saying anything.

I then saw an image of what was happening from Mike's eyes, thanks to the Gods.

Looking down at my head on his lap, he waited until I was ready to talk. He allowed me to think of what bothered me allowed me to work it out for myself first. For the first time in three years, I was ready to talk to him about my fears. He had waited for this for three long years. He needed me, his submissive, his Mistress. He needed to be with me. He ached for my touch. He stroked my lovely red hair. I was finally here. He would see to it that I stayed here. It was my house after all. He had built it just for me.

"Talk to me," he commanded me.

"I ran because I could not face who I had become. I saw some one that scared me that night. I saw someone that was close to losing control. I almost killed a man that night. I wanted to kill him. I still want to kill him. I am afraid of hurting you. What if I get mad at you and hurt you like that? What if I lose control in a scene with you and hurt you? I would not ever be able to forgive myself if I had done that kind of harm to you. I lost control that night and feared that I would again too," I finally admitted what had haunted my darkest fears and nightmares for the last three years.

"Dora, my darling Dora, you think you was the only one who lost control? I too lost control that night. I too hurt him. Don't you think that he had it coming? Look at what he did to you. Look at what he did to your son. You were angry with him for that. That is why you lost control. You would NEVER hurt me like that. You never did before. You don't seem like you are afraid of me hurting you," Mike pointed out.