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I had never regretted my marriage to Sandy in spite of the divorce, never ceased to value her part in my life. But in spite of never having stopped loving her, I had changed and adjusted and had never been able to imagine being with her again. She was like a loved friend. You don't normally kiss your friends, sleep with them of even necessarily live together; they have their life you have yours. This was the way I had come to feel about Sandy, but somehow without meaning to or saying so, things had changed a little that night. I had the most compelling urge to stop the car and pull her to me. I wanted to make out with her like teenagers and was just absolutely attracted to her and aroused as we drove along; nevertheless, I resisted and kept my eyes on the road ahead.
The air was thick between us with sexual acuity and the tension mounted until Sandy turned to me and said. "Ted, I don't dare to be presumptuous and don't ever want to hurt or offend you again, but...would it upset you if I made us a little more "uncomfortable"?" I couldn't believe my ears and my heart thumped so loudly I thought she could hear it; I turned to her as a soft smile played on my lips.
When we stopped at the next red light, Sandy had already pulled her dress up part way and she turned her legs toward me and said, "Would you take off my panties Ted?"
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I'm not going to tell you what happened that night, or after it, you can imagine what you will. You can condemn me or cheer and hope. I don't think I'll ever be the kind of man that's comfortable watching other men fuck his wife, but I'll never come close to condemning those who do.
I think the most powerful force in society is the force of love, and that its primary fuel is passion. I hope everyone can discover their own secret of making their life better with more love in it. There is absolutely no room for bitterness, hate, cruelty and accusation.
_______________________________
Sometimes circumstances throw us curves, but every curve deserves careful navigation. You just can't drive straight on a curvy road.
You can't imagine how much I appreciate your comments, even your criticisms. I have tried to navigate many dangerous curves and know how important friendship and support is on a dark night.
My wife has navigated these roads with me for over thirty years. She has never done many of the things I fantasize or think about. She's a lot like Maria Elena, and she's the love of my life, but I could never cease to love her, for any reason.
I've know women like Cyn and Sandy and Lynette. I think the world of all of them and I'll admit that their lives as I have written them are at least a little exaggerated. As I've said in the past, they are caricatures of life, exaggerations for the purpose of drawing attention to specific features.
I really do listen to you, this story was largely effected by I think an oriental reader who wished for a story that showed intensity, separation and after a long time reconciliation. I'm a romantic as was moved deeply as I watched this story unfold. It drew me, I didn't draw it. I apologize for not editing it well; I have been anxious and impatient to get it out. If there are a lot of problems, I will pull and re-post it, so if you see things that need urgent work, let me know quickly.
Your feedback and or correspondence is an elixir.
- COMMENTS
sherlock40over 19 years agoHow can you say that when Ted was married to Sandy that they were their own individual creatures and that when she left she didn't take anything from him when she left. When you are married your lives and love is so intertwined as to be inseperable. When one partner leaves (whether through death or divorce), that love together is usually so ingrained in each other that it is like tearing your own arm off. There is always that loss, that sense of something missing, that it can take years to get over it.
And to Anonymous below, there is a difference between animals and us. We are able to control our baser emotions and feelings. In several experiments conducted on animals, the scientists would hook up a switch to the pleasure area in the brain and another switch to providing food. All, and I mean all of the animals starved to death. They kept pressing the pleasure button over and over again until they died. Humans can make the decision to eat or gain pleasure. It takes a decision to cheat or love or eat or anything. That is where we differ from animals. We can choose one direction or another.
Sandy chose her direction. I hope Ted chooses another direction.
Anonymousover 19 years ago.... But as I said, after I read "Sandy's" account, I think Sandy's journey and her brutally painful and sorrowful reflection on life and living was still the best. Hers, as I said, was perhaps the most difficult personal story I've read here in Literotica.
Sandy was like an animal (like we homo sapiens are), a very sexual animal, whose sexual activities [proclivities is the better term here] took hold much of her life, for many years. But she --- although deeply flawed in many ways (aren't we all?), as I also noted --- was a very deeply reflective and intelligent person, who's able to carefuly and deeply reflect on life and its harsh but unbending lessons...
("Tracy Lord", the person, not the teenage porno actress, says pretty much the same thing about her own life, in her autobiography, which I glanced at at the books store the other day [she's from my days in the 1980s and 90s].)
So, again, Ted's "side" of the story, though nice (and nicely summarized, too, by the author), has not said any thing more profound about life and the choices that we encounter, that we make, as we march on through it than Sandy's (artistically, Sandy's was more original)...
We may be nothing more than naked apes, to borrow Desmond Morris's words, but we are also a species of thinking, feeling, and reflective naked apes. We may not be able to suppress our hormones (at the deepest levels, at least) and/or the impulses and impulsive acts that they dictate, deep from within our repitilian brains, but we ought to use the other parts of our brains to help us extrapolate to both the past and the future (i.e., to help us "navigate", as the author used here in his story), in more sophisticated and more abstract ways (beyond chimps and other intelligent naked apes)....
Good adult stories, even when they have raw/erotic sex in them, should also appeal to our intellects, should also teach us about ourselves, as they entertain us....
We are not only actors on a stage, but we're also our own executive producers and directors! Stories and examples of others --- their triumphs and defeats --- should make us better actors, producers, and directors of our own lives....
I, by heart, am a "romantic" (theoretically, at least); but I don't think --- insofar as this story goes --- Sandy and Ted should be brought together again by the author. That's a bit too cliched.
Last comment: I think one exhibitionist in this story is enough; don't make Ted into one, too, as the author seemed to have done here! lol
But, again, and over-all, job extremely well done, CryCyn55.
