Dream Come True

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A man has a surprising alternative to penectomy.
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Chapter I

Dream come true

Larry floated to the surface of consciousness, disoriented and confused. Where was he? The room slowly came into focus and memory started to return. The room was bright with afternoon sun, clinically bright, white, and clean. He was in hospital and he began to remember why.

A door opened and a smiling nurse entered. "You're back with us I see. Don't move just yet. You have a catheter draining your urine and we don't want it dislodged do we?" She stood by the bed, alongside the small trolley she had brought in which held a thermometer, blood pressure monitor, and other medical odds and ends. "Just relax and 'go with the flow' until the anaesthetic is fully out of your system. I guess you have a mouth like the bottom of a parrot's cage, well once Dr Mendez has given the all clear you can have a drink. He should be here any minute." She busied herself checking him over. "Your 'vitals' are fine." She said, replacing the tools of her trade on the trolley.

The door opened a second time and a dapper moustached, white coated figure entered. "Ah this is Dr Mendez Mr Soames." The Dr gave a small bow and smiled. "He's recovering fine Dr so I'll leave you, but I'm only at the desk outside the door if you need me."

The Dr checked Larry's pulse, examined his pupils and pronounced him 'Recovering nicely'. "I know it's been over 24 hours since you've eaten but we won't push our luck. Fluids only until tomorrow I'm afraid. I'll leave instructions with nurse Perero on my way out and I'll see you tomorrow." With that he left, waving casually.

Nurse Perero returned with a jug of iced fruit juice and a tumbler. "OK Mr Soames, let's see if we can sit up shall we?" Why did nurses always use 'we'. She helped him to a semi-sitting position and gave him sips from the tumbler.

The effort left him surprisingly tired, and his head spinning. "Just lie back and relax. You'll probably drop off to sleep again now which is just fine. Is there anything I can do for you?" He was becoming so sleepy he couldn't think of a think. Had there been a sedative the drink? Who cared? "No thank you he," murmured".

"Well, I'm right outside if you need anything. Just push this button." She placed the small alarm unit in his hand but he was already on the way to the 'land of Nod'.

The following morning he awoke refreshed and feeling almost back to normal. After a few minutes a new nurse appeared, and after the usual 'vital signs' checks offered to bring him hot water and washing materials. He found sitting up unaided no problem, though a slight tugging between his legs reminded him of the catheter, and after a good wash and shave felt fine.

After breakfast Dr Mendez appeared. His examination this time included a careful inspection of the surgery he had performed the day before. "Fine, he declared everything settling nicely. Well leave the catheter in place until the site has healed in a few days. If you need to empty your bowels the nurse will help you with a commode. You must keep scrupulously clean down there so as not to infect your relocated Urethra. You may get up and move around as soon as you feel like it, but don't overdo it and I'll see you again tomorrow when we can have a long discussion about your surgery and what to expect in the near future. Keep a note of any queries you think of and I'll answer them then if I can. Bye for now," and he left smiling.

The nurse returned."Dr Mendez says you're doing fine. If you want to get up give me a buzz. I'll help you the first time so you don't get tangled up in the plumbing she joked. You'll probably feel a bit unsteady anyway."

She fussily straightened his bed sheets, fluffed his pillows and went out.

As he lay there, the realisation of what had happened began to dawn on him. He had to know but was almost afraid to find out. Slowly he felt downwards over his abdomen, lower until he encountered a thin strip of surgical tape. No bandages or heavy dressings. No drain tubes. There was nothing else. He suddenly checked, heart pounding. THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE. He carefully felt between his legs moving toward his butt and located the catheter, just in front of his Anus. From now on the opening that it was temporarily draining would be his 'Peehole'. Dr Mendez had done it then, exactly as Larry had asked.

He felt surprisingly numb in his loins, but that was nothing compared to the excitement he felt at being as he had wanted to be, for as long as he could remember. He cautiously lifted the bed clothes and saw exactly what his fingers had told him to expect, and what he thought he would never see.

He buzzed for the nurse who helped him out of bed and into a chair. "Walk around if you like Mr Soames, but if you do, don't forget to take the cradle holding your urine bag with you. If you want to leave the room it's OK but tell me if you plan on leaving the ward." He strolled around the ward, sat in the lounge and read the month old magazines for a while, ate and drank normally and even managed a shower. Toward evening Dr Mendez arrived and together they returned to his room. He stood whilst Dr Mendez examined his handiwork and pronounced himself pleased with the result and the speed with which it was healing. "O.K. Mr Soames lets sit and talk." He said at last.

They settled into the only two chairs in the room. "How does it feel down there?" He asked, nodding towards larry's groin.

"Strange, not what I expected, although I don't actually know what I expected. The end of my Penis seems detached from the rest, floating somehow."

Dr Mendez nodded. "Don't worry. How it feels now is temporary. We wanted to use the smallest possible incision through which to introduce your Penis into your scrotum. This meant a bit of squeezing and pushing, as well as some stretching of the skin of the Scrotum over the top of your Penis in order to get as much as possible inside before we sutured it closed. At the moment a lot of what you feel is a result of this trauma, and local anaesthetic which has not fully worn off. It will change in the coming days."

"How long will it take to 'stabilise'? I won't say 'get back to normal', that's the last thing I want," asked Larry grinning.

"Well" said Dr Mendez "From the medical standpoint your Penis is in the perfect healing environment. Protected from germs and infection, bathed in sterile body fluids at body temperature, give or take a degree or two and cushioned from shock and injury. I would say, what it feels like forty eight hours from now is what you can expect long-term. After all, we did little invasive surgery on your Penis, only an incision on top, near the base to receive the scrotal skin where it enters your Scrotum, and that is mostly external" He paused "If you've no more questions for the moment I'll see you again in a couple of days and if everything continues to progress as it is now we can remove the catheter and sutures and think about discharging you. In the meantime if you have any concerns you can always contact me by asking a nurse." With that he shook hands and left Larry to ponder his new situation.

The two days passed uneventfully and as Dr Mendez had predicted the sensation in his genitals subtly changed to what was to become the new 'Norm' for him.

Dr Mendez arrived after the evening meal, and after a thorough examination pronounced himself satisfied, and instructed the nurse to remove the catheter and all sutures. When she had finished and left the room Dr Mendez motioned Larry to a chair and himself, sat in the other.

"So Mr Soames, Is it what you hoped? How does it feel now?"

"I have much more feeling than I had but subtle, subdued somehow, and the head of my Penis still feels detached unless of course I squeeze and massage it from outside and then things get a bit more intense"

Dr Mendez nodded "Let me explain" he said. "What was the external part of your Penis is now fully enclosed within your Scrotum, surrounded by fluid which damps or cushions movement. Within there, the only contact it has is with your testicles, which are soft and whose motion is also damped by the fluid, and the inside of your Scrotum which is soft mucosal tissue. The fluid also acts as a lubricant. The only part of your Penis which is sensitive enough to feel these subtle contacts is the head. The shaft having far fewer receptors, as well as being covered in skin is not sensitive enough to feel anything. In addition there will be no sensation of temperature, such as the cool touch of a cold hand, or a hot bath. Everything in there is at the same temperature. That's why the head of your Penis feels detached. It's the only part of it which is sending signals to your brain from within your Scrotum,but as you say, if you stimulate from outside you have feeling along it's whole length."

Larry nodded, satisfied. "What about erections doctor. Is there enough room? So far on the couple of occasions I've felt it becoming aroused I've done mental arithmetic to stop it!"

"The Scrotum is very accommodating" He replied. "Think of the difference in size between a cold shower and a hot bath. I'm sure you will be able to manage. You may find you have to manipulate the skin around it, and you may have some discomfort particularly when you ejaculate but it shouldn't be painful. In addition, when your scrotum reaches the limit of it's elasticity, continued extension of your Penis within will tend to pull it bodily away from your body, hence the discomfort, but it allows for more erection. Finally your Penis can also extend backward a little into your abdomen. It all helps. Having said all this, some discomfort when aroused might be one thing you have to learn to live with. If your worst fears are realised there is always the possibility of reversing the procedure, or opening up the scrotum and performing a partial penectomy to shorten it but I can't see it. As for involuntary night time erections there is every chance that in time your brain may adjust through biofeedback. As the pressure increases to discomfort level this may signal the brain subconsciously to halt the erectile mechanism. It may be though that disturbed sleep is a price you'll have to pay to be the way you want. Having said all that, your penis is quite small, and maybe as a result of the hydrocele from which you suffered a couple of years ago stretching the tissue, your scrotum is quite large, so everything is in your favour." After a pause he continued "Well Mr Soames if that's all for now I'll leave you."

"Oh just one thing Dr. Could I have a mirror. I haven't actually seen myself properly?"

"Sure" he replied I'll send the nurse in with one.

A few moments later she entered wheeling a full length mirror. As she turned to leave some impulse made him suddenly call "Stop!" Lowering his voice he said quietly "Would you mind staying a moment?"

"Not at all Mr Soames" she replied.

He dropped his robe and pyjamas and stood naked before the mirror seeing for the first time in total the new reality of his body. He turned to the nurse. "Could you come to terms with a man who liked like me?" He asked.

She looked and noticed the small mound just above his testicles which she concluded must be the head of his Penis. "If I loved him enough Mr Soames, I hope I could come to terms with anything. If I couldn't, would you want to know me anyway?"

"Thank you nurse. You don't know how that has helped.".

"I'm glad I could reassure you" she said smiling as she walked out.

As he continued to analyse his new manhood, he felt a stirring within his scrotum. As he watched in the mirror, the 'mound' began to move slowly downward. He was having an erection. Instead of mental arithmetic he began to fantasise and it became more intense. He felt the pressure against the end and pulled skin forward and upward to create some room, this was soon filled and his scrotum began to take on a pear- like shape. The narrow end pointing away from his body being pushed by his penis, the bulbous part near his abdomen formed by his testicles as they were being squeezed against the shaft by the tension in the skin. He gently began squeezing and massaging, but the barrier of his scrotal skin subdued sensation and reduced the effectiveness of his efforts. He squeezed and massaged harder, pulling, pushing, anything he could think to bring it quickly to a conclusion. On the verge of pain it came suddenly. His Penis pulsed as violently as it could within it's prison of tissue, three times. He cried out involuntarily and even as he watched, the mound began to move back and his scrotum began to take on it's usual shape. He felt his testicles slowly drift downwards to base of his sac, while his Penis came to rest, finally, its head just above, and just touching the upper surface of his balls, completely relaxed.

He became of aware of the nurse at his side. "Are you OK Mr Soames? I heard you call out, are you in pain? Can I do anything?"

He was consumed with shame, embarrassment, humiliation, and guilt. He replied, thickly, unable to meet her concerned gaze "I'm sorry nurse, I couldn't help myself. I guess I could use some Kleenex, and something to clean the floor."

She left briefly and returned with medical wipes, Q-tips and paper towels. As he reached out to take them she stopped him gently. "It's O.K. Mr Soames. It happens all the time. Let me do it, it's what I'm paid for, it's why I'm here. If I couldn't do this kind of thing I'd find another job. Everything's alright, honestly." He sighed and dropped his arm.

She knelt in front of him and began to raise his scrotum to reach his perineum, something made her stop, something odd."Is this O.K. Mr Soames? I don't want to hurt you. I've never nursed a man who's had your procedure."

"You're not hurting me" he replied quietly, still embarrassed.

At that moment she realised what was odd. The presence of his Penis occupying the space inside his Scrotum made it a little less soft and offered a little more resistance than normal. She cleaned his perineum and gently swabbed inside the end of his Urethra with a Q-tip and as she lowered his Scrotum noticed once again the almost imperceptible, smooth mound caused by the head of his Penis within, which appeared just above his testicles beneath the skin. She wiped the Semen from the floor where it had dripped from his Urethral opening.

"I guess I'll have to find a way of preventing that" he said with a self conscious chuckle.

"I'll work on it" she replied

"Has anyone ever told you what an angel you are?"

"Oh yes. Believe it or not Mr Soames, most men in here who have penile surgery do what just happened to you. We usually put it down to having their most intimate parts handled by us in the course of changing dressings etc. But your surgery was so minimally invasive in that area we've hardly touched it. Probably just relief of tension and excitement now the job's done and you're going home. Forget it."

"If there was a bar around here I'd buy you a drink," he grinned.

"Well there isn't, so how about a warm drink and a light sedative to give you a good night's sleep?"

"Sounds fine to me."

As she disposed of the soiled material she mused on Mr Soames. He puzzled her. She had nursed men who had undergone genital modification for years. It was one reason she had left the States for her current post here in Sri Lanka. The subject intrigued her.

She could appreciate that some men thought of their penises as 'growths' or 'tumours' to be excised, misguided and mentally deranged though they might be, and if penectomy left them happy that was fine. Similarly, she could appreciate men who were unhappy with their masculinity, the body hair, the aggression, the sex drive and wished for a calmer gentler existence. Well, castration was quick and usually effective. Mr Soames fell into neither of these categories. He was quite happy to keep his Penis, fully intact, well as fully intact as any man who undergoes a vasectomy. His testicles too posed him no problem. He seemed quite happy to retain all aspects of his manhood. He just wanted them 'put beyond use'. It reminded her of UK news broadcasts about the IRA who would not relinquish their weapons, but would put them 'verifiably beyond use'.

She would never understand. Maybe he didn't understand himself. It was though an obviously compelling need.

She returned to his room a while later with the drink, a pill, and 4 or 5 small yellow cylinders about 2cm long and half a centimetre diameter.

"Try these" she said as she offered him all but one of the cylinders. Memory foam ear defenders, smallest size. As she spoke she rolled and squeezed the cylinder into along thin cone. See if you can get it about half way in, but don't lose it!"

He easily and painlessly pushed the cone halfway in and felt expand until it filled the end of his Urethra. "Takes about 30 seconds" she said. "O.K. Pull it out gently."

He was surprised at how firmly it was implanted but removed it without difficulty. "I guess that would hold until I was ready to get rid of it. Can I keep these?" Sure she replied "I'll give you some more before you leave but you can get them in any Pharmacy." With that she watched take the sedative and left.

The next he knew it was morning; he was fresh, relaxed and ready to go.

Dr Mendez arrived early, gave him a thorough exam and pronounced him fit.

"The nurse tells me you had a good night." He said enigmatically. "There no clinical contra-indications so if you're happy, when the paperwork's done you may go."

"That's fine by me Doc. The sooner the better."

"I'll see you in two weeks in my outpatient clinic. The nurse will arrange an appointment. If everything goes as it should, and I'm sure it will you may fly home a new man."

Thirty minutes later he was in a cab heading for the holiday chalet he had rented for the six weeks he thought the whole job might take. The way things were looking though, the next month could just be one long holiday. He felt once again the stirring within his scrotum as he moved his legs to adjust his position. He just smiled noticing the gentle pressure inside the end of his urethra. He still had three ear plugs left.

Chapter II

Living the dream

Three years had passed. Three happy and fulfilling years. He was back in SriLanka, permanently. He had applied for, and got a government IT post in Colombo which was now his home. He had met Zoe, also an 'ex pat' and local school teacher who from the outset had no qualms regarding his altered sexuality. For over six months now they had been what most people would consider 'An item'. She seemed happy to please him in every way possible without demanding anything herself. Even heavy petting which was the most he could offer seemed to be something she enjoyed for his sake rather than her own. He often wondered about her background. Perhaps there was something religious, a vow of chastity maybe and his condition made her feel safe from her own human frailty. Even if her resolve failed in a moment of weakness there was no way he could penetrate her. Perhaps she had been abused as a child, or raped and felt secure in the knowledge that his 'manhood' presented no threat. Who knew? Who cared? He didn't pry. Nor did she pry into the reason for his genital modification. They just accepted each other, thanked their lucky stars and were happy.

Larry had begun to sense that subtle changes were taking place within his scrotum. The head of his penis didn't always feel so detached, as it had in the past. When he became aroused and the glans moved forward beyond his testicles he sometimes thought he could feel them brushing against the shaft.

By the end of the year he was sure. His penis was definitely becoming more sensitive. The discomfort on ejaculating which he had learned to accept as a normal part of his orgasm was increasing, almost becoming painful. He also found that he could stimulate the head of his penis through his slacks and shorts. He'd been able to do that before the surgery of course, but his penis wasn't inside his scrotum then. On Zoe's insistence he phoned Dr Mendez.