Dreams of Destiny Pt. 12

“Its funny,” Destiny said, “when I was a little girl I fell in love with a neighbor’s sheep dog. I wanted one desperately.”

"Well, congratulations. I hereby pass Aristotle over to you.”

“Oh no you don’t. I can’t have a dog in this apartment. We’re going to have to find a way to get Aristotle over to San Angeles Island.”

“Maybe the three of us could nap together,” Juan said wryly, and we’ll end up there. Free air fare.”

“I have a feeling it won’t work that way.”

“Probably not. So, when does our new addition to the family arrive.”

“Maria’s been taking care of him at John’s house. We thought maybe you could go over there tomorrow to meet him. Also, you’re John’s next of kin. You’ll have to go through his belongings. If you’re willing, Maria will pick you up after her shift tomorrow.”

“What about you?” Juan asked.

“I have a trial tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’ll be free in time to go with you. Will you go?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, I’ll call Maria and tell her its okay.” Destiny made the call. Maria said she’d pick Juan up around 2:00 p.m. unless she got stuck in Court.

“Do you want me to bring Aristotle back here tomorrow afternoon,” Juan asked after Destiny got off the phone.

“I guess that would make sense” “Anyway, I’m starved, are you ready to go for some breakfast?” Destiny asked.

“Just lead the way. Where are we going?”

“Eastern Market. It’s only about a half mile away. We can walk.

They continued their discussion as they walked towards the market.

“Destiny, about Aristotle....”

“Oh no,” Destiny said, jumping to the conclusion that Juan was going to try to get out of taking Aristotle.” I can’t keep Aristotle in my apartment for more than a couple of days. He’s going to fill up the place. He might trash it. He’d have nowhere to run around like he’s used to doing. I’m in Court every day and then I work at home. He’d drive me crazy while I try to work. Also, I don’t have a regular schedule. I wouldn’t be able to make sure he got enough exercise. I have a million and one reasons not to keep a sheep dog here.

“I wasn’t going to try to weasel out of taking him,” Juan said hurt. I was just thinking about how we were going to get him to San Angeles Island. You are going with me,” he asked, “aren’t you? I’d like us to try to work things out there if you’re willing,” he added shyly.

“Of course I’m going. At least to deal with Esteban and help get Aristotle settled. I have those three weeks off that Elaine mentioned, remember. But what would I do with myself if I lived in San Angeles? I’m use to being busy. I’m a lawyer, for Christ’s sake. I need adrenaline. Does San Angeles have a Bar Association? It’s mostly Spanish speaking. I don’t even know the language, much less the law”

“You’re just throwing out reasons why it wouldn’t work,” Juan said with heat in his voice. ‘Think of some things that would make it work. Do you want to be a defense lawyer for the rest of your life? It doesn’t seem to make you particularly happy. You’ve got other talents. Why not put them to use? And then there’s us.”

“Us?”

“Yes, us,” as in you and me.”

“What do you see as us? Destiny asked curiously.

“Well, we’ve been bouncing around in dreams and fantasies for an awful long time now without ever settling in to see if we could live together.”

“Except for that time with John and I, after the Amusement Park murders.”

“Yes. And that worked out well as far as I remember. At least I think it did. I don’t remember why or how it ended though,” said Juan.

“Me either. It was like a sweet dream. I don’t remember how it started or how it ended, but I know it was special.”

“You see. We can live together.”

“But I assume both of us were working then.”

“So. I won’t stop you from working. I’m sure you can find something fun and interesting.”

“But enough to support myself and Top Cat?”

“We’ll you wouldn’t need as much on the island. And if you were living with me there would be no rent. That is, if you want to with me.”

“You mean you don’t have a mortgage? Because I’d want to pay my share.”

“No, actually, I don’t have a mortgage. My house is paid for.”

“Wow. That’s unusual.”

“Well, I’m from the island’s leading family. We own a lot of property.”

“Lucky you!” Destiny was feeling kind of diminished. “I’ve never even come close to putting a down payment on a house. I’ve got bills up the keister. I’m usually scrounging for rent or for medical insurance, or whatever else happens to come up whenever I think I’m finally going to break even. It must be a nice feeling not to be in debt.

“I never really thought about it. So, you see, moving to San Angeles would be of great benefit to you.”

“I can’t live off of you!”

They arrived at Tunnicliffs, which was a popular pub with average bar food fare. It was a little early for the lunch rush so they didn’t have to wait for seating. They continued their discussion as the waiter ushered them to a table in the rear of the restaurant.

“I promise, we can be partners and I’ll work you to death.”

“So I can become a senior security officer, and start busting spies and stuff,” Destiny said sarcastically.

Uh, no. I think we have all of those we need.”

“So what’ll I do?” Destiny asked with growing frustration.

“I don’ know. You’ll think of something.” Juan frowned. “But we don’t have to decide today. Today we just decide what we want for breakfast. Or I guess it’s more like lunch by now, isn’t it?” He looked at his watch - quarter of twelve.

Destiny and Juan had a leisurely lunch. They shared some mediocre food, a bit of wine and a lot of laughter. From there they headed out to Dr. Phaeton’s Dupont Circle office. The metro ride was uneventful and they arrived at the doctor’s townhouse at quarter of two.

“You know,” Destiny said, “this is the longest time we’ve spent together without some kind of dream shift.”

“Don’t mention it,” Juan said, half jokingly. “You might jinx us”

The doctor’s office was on the third floor of his townhouse. Destiny assumed that he lived in the first two floors. Access to the third floor was by way of a rickety old elevator. Destiny shuddered every time she got into the elevator expecting to get stuck or dashed to her death when the cable broke, but it always chugged its way up steadfastly, delivering her safely to the reception area.

“Not the standard setting for a psychiatrist’s office,” Juan observed as he stepped into the elevator.”

“Like you’ve seen a lot of them,” Destiny teased.

“No. But you have to admit it’s a bit -- outre. Will the elevator carry both of us? Maybe I should wait down here.”Juan’s persona had never been to a psychiatrist. He looked at psychiatry as voodoo for the mentally weak. He wasn’t sure he wanted anyone getting inside his head.

“Oh no you don’t” said Destiny. We’re in this together.”

“All right, I’ll come with you. But I don’t promise I’ll like it.”

“Chicken.” Destiny teased as she pressed the button for “3.” The elevator started its slow ascent.

“I’m not chicken. I know John liked him, but John didn’t have access to my mind and memories.”

“Aren’t you interested in Phaeton’s take on what’s been happening to us?”

“Yes, If he’ll give it to us. But don’t shrinks usually just sit there and watch while you dig around in your psyche?”

“That’s a morbid way of thinking about it but I guess it’s accurate. No. Actually they kind of direct the dredging project.”

“I’m not sure I want my psyche dredged.”

“We’re talking about dreams, Juan, not childhood angst,” Destiny pointed out.

“Ultimately, don’t they all boil down to the same thing?” Juan asked.

“No. Well maybe. I don’t know.”

The elevator door opened. Destiny and Juan stepped out into the small reception area. The walls of the room were a very pale shade of blue. There were prints by Manet on the walls behind the reception desk. To the right of the desk was a large bay window the looked over P Street towards Georgetown.

There were a couple of over stuffed Blue and green chairs by the window with a small table between them. The table was littered with old magazines. Although the townhouse was air-conditioned the reception area was warm. Juan took off his jacket. He was sweating. “Dios,” he complained, “I’m used to warm and sticky weather but this is ridiculous. I’d kill for an ocean breeze right about now.”

Destiny announced their arrival to the receptionist who nodded with a pretty smile. She buzzed the doctor. Your 2:00 o’clock appointment is here.”

She smiled again. “Just have a seat. The doctor will be with you in a moment.” The receptionist went back to her computer.

Juan and Destiny sat. The suite was really an attic. Its ceilings sloped on the far sides of the room. It was dusty, Juan noticed. He watched an evil looking black spider spin its web on the far side of the room.

Destiny fanned herself with a magazine. “Sure is hot.” She got up and walked over to the water cooler next to the reception desk. The water bottle gurgled as she poured herself a tall cup of cold water. “Do you want some?” she asked Juan.

“Yeah, sure.”

Destiny poured another cup. As she walked back to her chair she noticed that the plants which were placed here and there in the office could have used a drink of water as well. She handed Juan his water and drank hers thirstily.

Destiny was having a hard time sitting still. All of the action over the past couple of days had left her skittish and jittery. She felt like a race horse at the gate.

Finally the door to Dr. Phaeton’s office opened. Dr. Phaeton stepped out.

“Destiny, what a pleasure to see you.” The doctor turned towards Juan. “And you must be Colonel Rodriguez from San Angeles Island. I’m so glad you could join us,” he said cordially. “Why don’t we step into my office?”

Juan took careful stock of Dr. Phaeton during the brief moment of their introduction. Dr. Phaeton’s vice was cultured. He had an open and easy manner about him that was easy to like.

The doctor was a tall man. His face was ageless -- that is, one would be hard pressed to put an age on Dr. Phaeton. He could have been anywhere between 40 to 70 years old depending upon how you looked at him and under what circumstances.

His hair was silver, and his eyes were a deep opaque gray, with just a hint of sapphire. The eyes were kind and very wise, but complicated. There were shadows among the gray if one looked closely. The eyes were those of a man who had known a lot of pain and lived many years. Looking into his eyes Juan suddenly felt as if he had known Dr. Phaeton for a very long time.

The doctor smiled and nodded in acquiescence at Juan’s look. The smile was like sunlight in the midst of a tempest. The Doctor’s brow was bold and his heavy eye brows were black rather than silver. His nose was long and straight and his mouth was generous. He had a strong chin with a hint of a dimple. His ears were curious -- almost pointed at the top. They made him look like a wood elf. Phaeton was casually dressed in a light weight gray linen suit with a forest green cotton shirt.

As they entered the office they were hit with a wave of blessedly cool air. Apparently Dr. Phaeton cooled his office separately from the rest of the house.

As well he should, Destiny noted. Dr. Phaeton seemed to have a passion for rare books. His office was lined with beautiful dark wood book shelves. The shelves all had glass doors. Inside were volumes of rare books on a wide variety of topics. There was a matching wooden door which seemed to lead into a room filled with even more well stocked bookshelves. The books dated back centuries. The office had the rarefied scent of an ancient library.

There was a blue wool rug on the floor of the spacious office. The desk, which was in the center at the back of the room matched the bookshelves and was a work of art. A state of the art computer setup was parked on the desk, as well as a telephone, a desk calendar, a fax machine and a mug filled with pens and pencils.

The room was dim and faintly dusty. Afternoon light filtered into the room through two windows which ran from ceiling to floor on the right side of the office. Dust particles danced in the sun.

There was a semi circle of three well padded light blue chairs in front of the desk. A half-moon shaped glass coffee table accompanied the chairs. There was a large clear crystal ball on a black marble stand in the middle of the table.

To the right of the room’s entrance was a pale blue divan.

“Come into my office,” Dr. Phaeton said, motioning towards the chairs. “We have much to talk about. He looked at Destiny searchingly. Destiny felt like a deer trapped in headlights. “A lot has since our last meeting, has it not?”

Dr. Phaeton sat in the center chair. Destiny sat down to his left. Juan pulled the remaining chair to the other side of the table so he could meet Dr. Phaeton head on. Juan had a knack for power games when it came to situations like this one. He wanted the doctor where he could look him in the eye.

As he looked around the room Juan got a strange sense of deja vu. “I know this place,” he said in wonder. I’ve been here time and time again. In fact, this room is one of my very first memories. How odd,” John said to the doctor.

“Well, “ the doctor said, peering intently at Juan, “you know my office. Do you know me?”

“You, Juan said, almost hypnotized by the doctor’s gaze. Yes, I’m not sure. You are familiar,” he said puzzled. I don’t know you by your looks. It’s as if your vibration or something is familiar.”

“That’s a good way to describe it,” Destiny chimed in. That’s what struck me when I first met you, but I just set the feeling aside as unimportant. After this week I’ll never belittle a deja vu feeling again.”

“You and Juan have traveled very far this week, true?” the doctor asked.

“Very true. But how did you know?”

“I read it in your faces and, well, there are other things. Disturbances have occurred in the planes.”

“What do you mean?” Juan asked. “That’s not exactly psychiatric terminology. What planes are you talking about? And who are you anyway? Do you have anything to do with what’s been happening to Destiny and me?” Juan was disturbed and was feeling like he was losing control, which made him angry and impatient.

“That’s a lot of questions. Some I can answer. I know you are impatient, but if you’d humor me, I’d like to be fully updated on what’s been happening from both of you perspectives.”

“I’ve described most of what’s been happening on tape,” Destiny said with some hesitation. She looked at Juan. He nodded. Juan made a tape too. John Rodgers made some tapes but they are at his home. You know he’s dead, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Dr. Phaeton said shortly.

“Anyway,” Destiny continued, “the past few days have been a whirlwind. It’s hard to know where to start. Maybe it would be best just to listen to the tapes first. Then we can fill in any details we might have missed.”

“Okay,” said the doctor. “It’s your dime.”

Destiny pulled the tape recorder out of her purse. She popped the tape in and pressed play. She cringed when her voice started. She always sounded so babyish on tape.

Destiny and Juan both watched Dr. Phaeton’s face for expressions while Destiny’s voice spun its story. Destiny had a knack for words, and the drama of the dreams came through strongly on tape. It took about a half hour for the tape to run. Next they played Juan’s version of what happened yesterday. There was a short silence after Destiny turned off the tape player.

“So, the doctor said quietly, there is only Esteban left, and you and Juan of course.”

“Yes, although to me it seems I am both Destinys, and Juan is also John.

“But that’s been true all along, hasn’t it?”

“Yes and no,” said Destiny. There was a time when there were actually two of me. There was me, and there was the me that stayed with Nathan for seventeen years and actually went to San Angeles Island two years ago. I thought I dreamed Juan up out of my fantasy but the other Destiny met the living, breathing Juan. But they are one and the same. How can that be?”

“And there are two of me, Juan said. John Rodgers, who by all accounts is me, is dead on a slab at DC General Hospital. But here I am, alive and well, and certainly not a figment of anyone’s imagination. I have John’s feelings and memories inside of me now. But I think I always did.”

“And I know Esteban is going to be waiting for us on San Angeles Island when we return, even though Stephen and the demon died yesterday. I’ll bet Esteban will be all that much stronger now that he has joined with his alter egos.” John lifted his hands and shrugged in frustration.

“None of this makes any sense,” said Juan. If we are to believe the evidence we’ve been given, humanity’s entire sense of order is an illusion. We are randomly fleeing from one dream to another without rhyme or reason, or any awakening. I can’t accept that. I cannot live my life knowing that whenever I sneeze wrong or yawn or go to sleep I may be bopped into a different reality.”

“How old are you,” Dr. Phaeton asked out of the blue.

“46,” Juan said, puzzled.

“Has it always seemed to you that you are being bounced around from dream to dream?”

“No. Of course not. At least I don’t think so at this moment. What I think in the next dream may be totally different I suppose. But I seem to have a pretty secure memory of a stable childhood and adolescence. There were always intense dreams, but I didn’t have problems separating out what I thought of as dream from reality until relatively recently. And then things just exploded two days ago.

“Now I’m finding out that some of my long past dreams actually happened. For example, last night Destiny and I realized that in one dream line I, as John Rodgers, lived with Destiny in her apartment on capitol hill.

Destiny added “that was a dream of mine for a while after John and I met at the amusement park. I think it was the amusement park incident that really started things off for me as far as dream living is concerned. That’s when I first recognized John. After that I had all sorts of confused dreams about leaving Nathan or staying with him or living alone or living with John. I never did seem to settle into that decision.

I also started to fantasize about Juan then, too. And I had recurring nightmares abut a serial killer and an occasional dream about being married to my first boyfriend who, coincidentally, turned out to be Stephen.

“For me,” Juan said, “there was the ongoing dream that I was a homicide cop tracking a serial killer. Later I moved to DC and joined the Youth Division. During this time I had meaningful relationships with Lizzy and Nicky, both of whom fell under the spell of the demon. I was always looking for something more I realize now. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let that happen”

“So what’s your diagnosis, Doctor,” Juan asked with an ironic smile. “Are we crazy? Do you have any pills for us to take to solve this? I don’t think so. You don’t have any answers for us, do you, doctor?”

“I don’t know if I have any answers. I will try to help you sort things out.” Dr. Phaeton looked deeply into his crystal ball. He measured his words carefully.

“The universe is like this ball. The ball appears solid, like rock or glass, but is made of billions and billions of minute particles swirling around and held together by electromagnetic currents. Our ball is ever expanding. That is space. And it is rolling forward. That is time. At least that’s how I imagine it. I’m sure a physicist would strangle me for making such a description. What is inside is the fabric of the universe.

Every soul, or spirit, that exists affects the fabric. Everything in the universe works in relation to the fabric. Everything that a soul does or thinks affects all dimensions of time and deadlines.