Driving in Snow Ch. 08

I was silent for a moment then continued: "Love is not a fixed quantity. The more we give away the more there is to give away. Love and Chi are related: Maybe love is a special form of Chi or maybe Chi is a special form of love. True love flows from the soul. True love flows through the soul. The more we connect with that the more integrated we become. Ultimately love comes from the God that is the center of the universe, ultimately love is the God that is the center of the universe."

We hugged.

We moved to our family room and sat down.

I said: "I found love flowing through me to all of the women in my life. The more that came through the more there was. My heart was overflowing. My personality was not directing it or controlling it. My personality was just watching it happen. Watching it happen and basking in it. At first it was not sexual but later it was both sexual and non-sexual. That's hard to explain - It was a strange but wonderful experience.

Changing topics: "Perhaps I should describe the Wells family: A mother and three daughters. The mother's name is Mary and she has been divorced for sixteen years now. The pain in her life drove her into spiritual exploration and as she said: 'I've read all the books and it sort of made sense, but not really, not fully.' I was able to help her in a way where she said: 'The desert has turned into a garden and that garden is in full bloom.'

"Ann is her oldest daughter, two years out of high school where she was valedictorian. She has been studying math and physics with a retired college professor and has already written a paper on quantum mechanics which might just get her a Nobel prize. She is very much on a spiritual path also. Ann wrote 'Interconnections' and another wonderful book called 'The Integration of Intuition.'

"Barbara is the second daughter and is a senior in high school. Intensely psychic. She is obviously a very advanced soul. I sense a tremendous amount of spiritual power in her. I wonder if she is here Bodhisattva.

"Cindy is the youngest and is a Junior in high school. She is full of energy, joy and curiosity.

"I met one other girl, Barbara's best friend: Connie. She is also part of our spiritual family. She and I have some interesting past life ties."

"You have a profound spiritual connection to all of these people. It predates this lifetime."

My wife replied: "I think you're right. I don't know what it is or how it works but I have an incredibly strong feeling that you are describing old friends, we all love each other dearly. I'm looking forward to meeting them."

I responded: "According to 'Interconnections' you and Ann have done a whole lot together and love was the core of your interactions. While I was visiting we found a great deal more past life history, a copy of which is on my computer. You have past life ties to the entire Wells family. At least you can meet Ann. She's here checking out colleges."

My wife responded warily: "Oh."

I responded: "We convoyed here. She is checking out colleges in the capital district. On the way here we had a real inventive spurt. Sometimes we are telepathic and no we are not in telepathic communication now."

My wife asked: "How do you two become telepathic?"

I answered: "By making love."

She sighed then asked: "Is it making love or having sex?"

I replied: "It is making love, it is past making love, it is sharing the sacred flame. The sex is almost unimportant compared to the spiritual union."

She responded: "By rights I should be angry with you but I find I'm not.

I said: "That's good because I not only slept with Ann. I slept with all of them and in every case it felt incredibly right and proper. In each case it was a spiritually growing activity especially for my partners. In each case it made my love for you stronger and more profound."

My wife scowled and asked: "Are you planning to remain sexually active with them?"

I answered: "Yes, as long as that is my intuitive guidance."

She then asked: "But, but where does that leave us?"

I replied: "Where do you want that to leave us? We have been sexually inactive for more than twenty years now. If you want to change that I'm very willing but I want that to become a spiritual sharing, not just a mechanical sex act. If you want to continue as we are and by that I mean where we were as I walked in the door tonight - profoundly loved and loving, but without sex, that is fine too. If you want to think about it - Take your time. What is not acceptable is you having sex with me out of some feeling of 'duty' or out of a fear of loss. Making love should be just that: making love. It needs to become a spiritual act. Let me tell you some more about what went on before you make up your mind."

She said, less than enthusiastically: "OK."

I then continued: "The high school the girls attend is very small but has a really good football team. The girls were roped into being cheerleaders. The cheerleading coach taught belly dancing as part of cheerleading practice. Barbara and Cindy both received this training. Barbara had absolutely no plans to ever dance in public or even for a man. Well, with her mother's and her sisters' encouragement, she ended up dancing for me. That was a week ago Wednesday afternoon. Through most of the dance I was watching her eyes, not her body, and we were spiritually bonding, merging at some very high level. I found love flowing through me in a way I had never experienced before. I know you were getting it along with a number of others. As I said before Barbara is a very advanced soul. We were wordlessly sharing wisdom. Later that day she asked me to share her bed and I did. Again the sex was secondary to an incredible merging of our souls, again I was sending love every which way."

My wife commented: "Both of those times, I just felt so incredibly loved. I knew it was coming from you. I have to say that it felt so right to me, so very right, that I guess I can't fault you for it now. But what happened last night? Barbara wasn't with you then was she?"

I explained about the song and the power of it.

I continued: "The next day was Cindy's eighteenth birthday."

My wife interrupted with a smile: "Say no more. I get that picture."

I proceeded to tell Mary's story.

My wife said: "You did the right thing there too. I'm actually proud of you, both for what you did and for being willing to tell me."

I said: "I want to come back to Ann for a minute. It is clear to both of us that we have spiritual work to do together. It also seems that we have more conventional work to do together in order to set that up. On the drive here we were given twenty two marketable inventions. We are looking to set up a company together. That seems guided too.

"Our telepathic link has provided an amazing level of intimacy. I know all of her foibles and she knows mine. This creates a level of trust and a level of love that is incredible.

"I've also learned a great deal about the nature of trust. I have known intellectually for a long time about trusting the universe and trusting process as opposed to trusting an individual. Now however I understand this at a gut level. I no longer 'need' to trust you and because I no longer 'need' to trust you I now 'can' trust you. Because I can trust more I can love more. Maybe that sounds weird, maybe that is weird, but that is where I am."

I took a bathroom break and raided the kitchen for a snack and a soda.

When I returned the intensity of our conversation was gone. We talked about what the kids and the cats had been up to.

When we went to bed we did not make love but we did spoon for the first time in many years.

We talked through all of Friday: Old issues, new issues, possibilities. We talked with a level of openness we had never imagined would have been possible. It cemented our relationship in ways we never contemplated.

I printed a copy of the expanded past life history and of the latest version of "The Integration of Intuition." My wife said: "That's a lot to read."

I suggested that she open one of them to an arbitrary place and see what she gets. Synchronicity was working overtime: She opened the history to the story of Suzanne and Pierre.

She said: "What a sad story."

I said: "Yes, but it has a happy ending. I was Pierre and Connie was Suzanne. I have a question: early Sunday evening I received a very strong message of approval from you. What were you feeling, what were you trying too say and were you aware of sending it?"

She replied: "I was feeling very loved and I sort of knew that you had 'concerns' about what was happening but I knew that you would do the right thing. I was trying to reassure you but I really didn't know that the message was getting through. What were you doing then?"

I responded: "Connie just asked me to take her to bed."

We talked more about Connie. I started talking about: 'my mystery girl.'

Fil said: "I'm glad you two did what you did."

The phone rang. I answered it. It was Ann. She asked to talk to my wife.

I thought: 'I hope you know what you're doing.'

To be Continued.