Dyslexia

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"Suck my cock, you whore of a dyke." She thrust her hips against my face.

I gagged, the notion of sucking her dick was abhorrent. Not the throating so much, I didn't mind that; it was helplessness, being forced that disgusted me. I clenched my mouth shut. "No." I hissed. Thrashing my head away from her hips.

She fisted my hair, pulled my face to her groin. "Suck my cock, bitch."

I shrugged from her grasp and held her gaze, her jade green eyes flashed, my azure orbs sparked and lightning crackling between us. Our eyes locked. "No." I said firmly, and shook my head.

She slapped my cheeks with her open hand, backwards and forwards. "Such a cheeky little whore, aren't you, Dana?" She mocked my impertinence and giggled.

I fought her with every ounce of my strength. It was futile. She was too strong. She gripped my face and her biceps rippled and flexed as she pulled me to her Strapon. She thrust against my lips, bucked again, and forced my lips open.

I struggled to relax, to bide for time, sighed, and reluctantly nibbled the firm gel, licking the head. I puckered my mouth and hiding my distaste, hollowed my cheeks and sucked it in slowly as I gazed into her cloudy darkening eyes. Her voice trembled a bit, smoky with lust and her eyes fluttered shut.

I seized the moment and bit down hard below the corona of her cock, grinding my teeth against the fleshy neoprene. Biting and chewing, spitting and gnawing, craving to hear her shrieks of agony as I bit down and drew blood.

She mocked my useless temerity, bucked into my face and laughed. She fisted my hair and held my head steady, bucked into my face. She gripped her Strapon and slapped my lips and cheeks with her dick, cackling and chortling at my helplessness.

I pulled from her grasp and snatched at her hands, grabbing for the short whip. I fumbled it from her grip and lashed at her pelvis.

"No." I wailed. "No."

I flailed at her hips with the crop. My eyes blurry with tears and unfocused, I floundered and lashed at her.

"No." I shouted. "I said no, goddamnit."

She stepped back, gasping and shocked. Her eyes fell, downcast. She paused. No words, no movement or retort as I flailed at her groin and cunt.

Silence.

"I'm sorry, Dana. That was uncouth."

I glared at her, sputtered and shouted. "You bitch! You know how I feel and you crossed the line. You can defile me, humiliate me, but you will not rape me."

She sighed, hesitated, turned and slowly walked away. I heard the harness softly squeaking with each slow step as she retreated down the hallway.

I screamed at her. "Don't come back again, bitch. Not ever."

The door opened, she paused a few moments, waiting for me to call her, to say something, anything.

I said nothing.

The door slammed shut behind her.

I tossed her short whip to the floor and slowly turned my back to the hallway, pausing near the coffee table before settling down on the sofa.

Silence.

I reached for the glass chillum and a lighter. The skunk was sticky and pungent and I inhaled the rich smoke.

Silence.

She was gone.

Fucking bitch stole my favorite leather harness.

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TrueMortTrueMortover 5 years ago
OK... not what i expected

I have to be honest, I nearly stopped reading this, but I did read all the way, and I do like how you ended it.

Very deep, as LCL pointed out, a very fine line to walk.

The writing on the other hand was pretty amazing.

GrrrreatImaginationGrrrreatImaginationover 7 years ago
I imagine it would be almost...

impossible for us to fully grasp all the nuances of this story. I imagine that the couple who inspired this devious story got the best wind-up of all of us, since it is seemingly their fantasy (or reality).

Best of all the things I like in erotic stories is hearing the thoughts and emotions of the characters. You've given that wonderfully here. I've deleted 6 or 7 sentences trying to convey what that does for me... I think I wind up relating to things I wouldn't tolerate... or maybe I would...

Well, anyway, thank you for sharing your talents. The story was intense and unpredictable and I enjoyed the ride. Wherever life may take you, I hope you keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Hmmm

Your story is really good, but kind of confusing. Just as I would start getting into it, there'd be a new part and I'd be like woah, what just happened.

AMoveableBeastAMoveableBeastabout 9 years ago
Intensity spread thin

Parts of this are exceptionally well-written. You have obvious skill and ability. You're clearly an intelligent woman. Perhaps too intelligent for me.

The sentence work is fantastic. Top of the class. But The Who lyrics? Disjointing and, unless they are useful in some story-critical way that I fail to grasp, bordering on the pretentious. The piece itself is short enough that the prologue seems overly long.

The sex was rough and unapologetic, which didn't bother me one bit. I am not shy to a little bit of pain in my pleasure. I also admired the bravery of the piece. It's unusual. That scores points with me.

But each time I started to settle into it, you'd jerk me out with some superfluous element. You also, as indicated in the AN, seem to have no passion or experience with these kinks. At points it's evident.

This is by no means a bad story. You seem fully capable of writing a much better one, however. Perhaps you already have. This is the first work of yours I've encountered, and it's impressed me at least enough to check out your other work on Lit.

Just in case this pattern holds, though, I'm going to share with you some advice that one of my favorite professors gave to me. Ignore it as you will.

"As a writer, you need to get a hell of a lot dumber. Focus on what matters. Leave the academic gymnastics at the door. I know you're smart. I've seen that trick. Now show me you're human."

I look forward to more from you. Thank you for sharing. Yours is a unique voice in this contest.

LesbianChickLitLesbianChickLitabout 9 years ago
Well Written

Beautiful word play and extremely complex for so short a story. Not really my kink, so I mostly want to take Dana home, give her a shower, and feed her some pizza and cookie-dough ice cream.

It's brave to examine the grey area between craved degradation and intense violation, especially since (for me anyway) deepthroating a strapon is the least objectionable portion of that scenario. Sadly, it's not an unrealistic depiction of the end of an unhealthy BDSM coupling.

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