Easy A's

*Belteshazzar pushes her onto the bed as he carelessly flings her garments off to the side.*

Belteshazzar: Spread those gorgeous legs for me, my sweet.

*With a wicked grin, the young woman from the bar did as she was told. Then Belteshazzar runs his hand through her black hair as he slides himself into her. As he pulses in and out, she moans in the off-beats of his thrusts. Eventually, he spills his seed across her stomach. Now sated of his lust, he picks up his coat off the floor and heads back home to his tower.*

Soothsayer: AUGH! YOUR SINS! THEY BLIND ME!

*Belteshazzar turns on a dime and faces the old man.*

Belteshazzar: I'm more important than any mayor or king you may wish to service, and I'm telling you once to shut it. Do I need to make myself any clearer?

*The soothsayer does not answer. Satisfied enough, Belteshazzar stumbles up the stairs. Upon entering his room, he begins to change into sleepwear. In the process, he pulls a bra out of his jacket.*

Belteshazzar: well... I guess I have reason to see her another night now.

*he lays down in his bed. When he opens his eyes again, he finds himself standing on a ship with Thanatos.*

Thanatos: hello... our associates, the Thyrinians, requested an agent with 4th wall energy. I'm sending you. They want you to kill someone or something like that. I'm sure you won't mind. Have fun!

*Belteshazzar blinks before he is teleported to a nearby base. He sees a young, built man with white hair.*

Sergi: I am Sergi Lebedsky. the Thyrinian Empire does not approve of idle 4th wallers, it breeds stagnation and weakness. One of these is named Ra'vir. He lives on Jamycia. We don't know where he is exactly, but we can set you down near Robyn, who used to be in regular contact with him.

*He smiles as he hears her name.*

Belteshazzar: alright, hit on Robyn and kill Ra'vir, collect highlander duel rewards, sounds like an enjoyable conquest.

Sergi: well then if you have no further questions, off with you!

*As Belteshazzar begins to shake his head, he's teleported down to the planet Jamycia.*

Belteshazzar: well that was rather rude. Now where is Robyn?

*He looks around and sees a town nearby, yet no one around him at the moment.*

Belteshazzar: huh... I guess I could go ask questions... how quaint.

*He walks into the nearest tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a scotch on the rocks. He looks around the room, then remembers that he probably wouldn't find Robyn in a place like this. When his drink comes his takes a gulp and swaggers over to some guy making a move on a girl.*

Belteshazzar: ya know, for someone so cocky, you sure go for the easy A's.

*The guy turns and pulls a gun on him. Belteshazzar uses his fire to heat the metal so that the man drops the gun.*

Belteshazzar: easy there cowboy, I just want some information.

Man: well you have a funny way of asking for it.

Belteshazzar: Well I'm not interested in your girl, I'm after some chick named Robyn, you seen her 'round? she's got sleek black hair, big brown eyes, a killer body and-

Man: no, I haven't. Now beat it.

*he sighs.*

Belteshazzar: well it was worth a shot. Have a good one. Oh and by the way, your .22 will probably need repairs... just sayin'

*He turns as if to leave. The man lashes out with his fist, but Belteshazzar was expecting this. He catches the man's arm and with one fluid motion, by placing his own hip under the man's, he leverages his lower center of gravity to easily pull him off the ground before slamming him onto the counter.*

Belteshazzar: thank you for assaulting me, I can now write off this interrogation as self-defense. Where did you see her last?

Man (panicked voice): She frequents the local monastery, but other than that no one ever sees her.

Belteshazzar: thank you for the information. Sadly, I cannot do anything for your partial paralysis as I don't have healing. Have a fun night with your girl.

*he walks out and over toward the monastery. However, before he reaches it, some invisible force checks him into the wall. The entity reveals herself to be Robyn. Wearing a black leather jacket and biker's helmet, she keeps her knife near his throat.*

Robyn: how the hell did you get to my planet and why are you looking for me?

Belteshazzar: Relax darlin' I'm not after you. The Thyrinians want me to kill your ex-boyfriend Ra'vir.

Robyn: we were never a couple!

Belteshazzar: Whatever you say, my sweet.

Robyn: well nevermind that I guess... *lowering her blade ever so slightly* What makes you think I'll help you any?

Belteshazzar: because we both know that the build-up of idle 4th wall energy is actually dangerous to all people, whether they have powers like us or don't. I trust you'll help me, despite our... disagreements, so that the backlash of his apathy doesn't start killing people on your planet or hurting the people you care about.

*She sighs.*

Robyn: his orb is in his house by the north end of Prezich. It's the giant blue mushroom by the lake.

Belteshazzar: I'm sorry my sweet, but I don't know your planet. You're gonna have to take me there.

*She glares at him then begins trudging off. Belteshazzar follows. They walk for several minutes without speaking until she arrives at an all-terrain motorcycle. She gets on. He does so too, placing his hands around her waist. She does not start the engine and clears her throat.*

Belteshazzar: are we gonna go or what?

Robyn: hands.

Belteshazzar: how do you expect me to hold on?

Robyn: shoulders.

*he sighs and makes the required adjustment to his positioning. As they are within sight of the mushroom house, Belteshazzar figures he's gotten what he must have and decides to try for extra.*

Belteshazzar: you know, it's a shame you have steel mind or else I'd come inside your thoughts and give you mine.

*Robyn drifts to a sideways stop, throwing Belteshazzar off her bike.*

Robyn: You know, it's a shame I have a moral conscience or else I'd kill you where you lie right now.

Belteshazzar: And that's what makes you so damn hot... and weak.

Robyn: my breath is wasted on you.

*She turns around and takes off. Belteshazzar stands up and dusts himself off. Turning toward the blue mushroom, he fuses with his jackson chameleon and camouflages himself with the rest of the fungi forest. As he approaches the house, he uses his aether to sense for anyone in the house. Ra'vir is inside. Knowing that the object is to kill Ra'vir's orb, as that will permanently kill Ra'vir, he uses his high level toxin to paralyze Ra'vir. From there, he walks into the room and attempts to blast the orb with fire. However, a leopard shark surfs in and puts out the fire. Belteshazzar sighs.*

Belteshazzar: Fizzy my sweet, would you be a doll and dispose of this nuisance.

*His cynimph, a beautifully-radiant, femininely-shaped pillar of electricity appears and zaps the shark to death. He smiles and this time decides to unleash a torrent of wooden spikes on the orb. However, before before they hit, a poison dragonoid spits acid on them, turning them to sludge too heavy and fluidic to even reach the orb. He sighs and blasts the creature with fire. But then a white-winged vampire bat swoops in and uses blood to immobilize Belteshazzar. He summons his Nargalatch and has it selectively inject small doses of benzoylmethylecgonine into his brain, along the neural pathways to allow him to fire a single burst of wood laced with toxin into the heart of the vampire bat. The drug weaves it way through, breaking down any residual effects of the vampire's blood grip. His pupils dilate as his pulse races. Lemuel walks in, a normal looking man, who happens to actually be Ra'vir's cynimph. He goes for a flying roundhouse, but Belteshazzar just moves his hand to catch Lemuel in a gust of wind before setting the whole room up in flames, destroying the orb and killing Ra'vir. Taking Lemuel as his highlander prize, he walks out of the burning house.*

Belteshazzar: now only if capturing Robyn was this easy.

*He begins walking back the way he came, but stops as he sees the bike tracks. He sighs.*

Belteshazzar: Fizzy, I love wildfires, but Robyn will be furious if I let this go... suggestions?

Fisrigif: you could use your wood to move water from the lake.

Belteshazzar: excellent.

*He flies over, makes a giant bucket of wood, fills it, then dumps it onto the burning house. With that, he flies back toward the town and somewhere randomly along the way he wakes up, back in his tower.*

Belteshazzar: well that was exciting... Looks like I have a few meetings then I can return this bra.

Fisrigif: You know that woman can't be Robyn.

Belteshazzar: well... you can stimulate my balls later and we can talk about that.

*He exits his tower in frustration and makes a right to go to his first meeting of the day.*