Ego Aside

This party had over 20 dominants and some of the wildest outfits I had ever seen. Many were not really into the "Scene" it appeared, but instead were there for the party, fashions and the experience. It was a lot more hardcore than we were used to and we saw some drug use, which is one of those things that is strictly taboo at most play parties. People arrived by boat on the bay and limo and very few arrived as we did, in our own car. The Valet people all looked like professional models, all wearing togas as if they too were slaves. It was elegant and posh, the food was catered, the ice sculpture gleamed and the champagne flowed from a fountain. This was not at all like the farm. We felt a bit out of place but stayed until the sun was peaking over the bay. Mistress Mara stayed the weekend and said that the next night was the same thing except with an even bigger crowd.

As summer ended and I started running my after-school programs, Linda and I seemed to naturally change back to a vanilla relationship for the most part. Everything wasn't like it was before, but it was close. My program saw much greater success than I anticipated and our schedules began to conflict. Over time, I realized I was not going to ever be the husband she was going to need. She was 11 years older than I was, and I was nowhere near ready to marry. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, and she begged and pleaded from her knees for me to not go, but it was the right thing to do. Years later I listened to some gossip and heard she had married to a handsome professional man and was due with her first child. I was happy for her.

My relationships after Linda included several superficial beach girl relationships. I married for a short time to a woman that switched roles with me but mostly was in charge. She had a girlfriend that joined her in subjugating me a couple of times. The relationship had little else to go on, and eventually, she had me falling into that trap of emotional subjugation. Eventually, she left me behind to find something new and exciting. Although it was difficult and the debt she left behind was crippling, I am thankful everyday that she is gone.

I finally met my true love, an imaginative and adventurous woman that tries to switch, but as I have grown more into the dominant role over the years, it is great that she is better in the submissive role. We married and have become a family. We play when we can, when the kids are asleep or staying with grandparents. We don't do parties, although we have talked about it. There is no need, as we have great times without the touch and stares of strangers, but with our senses of adventure, you never know where we might end up.

What happened to Mistress Mara? I don't know, I have not heard of her in all these years (nearly 17 years), but during one of my single periods, I had a housekeeper that often asked me about my dominance and submission past. We never discussed doing anything, but she was curious to hear about it. I never gave her any names, but when she told me she had a friend named Marsha whose husband had died and that she had been his slave, it made me wonder about her. When I saw Marsha again as she joined my housekeeper and me to attend a tattoo and piercing convention, she didn't recognize me, and I didn't tell her who I was, it would embarrass her I am sure. Over the years, I had lost my tan, added a few pound, had different hair and had grown a beard.

She had gained more weight and looked very unhealthy and unhappy. I never knew before how old she was, but her years had caught up to her. Thankfully, she had not lost her smile and seemed to have a good time with her friend, my housekeeper at the convention. I've not seen her since but I'm sure she is doing well, she is a survivor. I still wonder if Cliff and Mistress Mara were secretly married, it crossed my mind a lot throughout that summer.

Of all the things I learned, I think the most important was the feeling of freedom. A freedom that comes from experimenting with new sensations without fear of persecution just because our type of love play is different from the "norm." There is no guilt in feeling good, there is no shame in exploring and experimenting. That is what I learned. That is what I practice.