Eirin Ch. 06

Eirin was even more shocked when she and Lord Hawthorn were led to separate rooms. She looked at him curiously but all he did was bow to her and wish her a good night. Eirin entered her room in a daze, not understanding what was going on. She pulled up short when she saw that Maria was already in the room with a bath and her clothes. Not the clothes she had packed that morning, but the clothes Lord Hawthorn had given her.

"What in the world are you doing here? And why are those clothes here? I packed clothes to bring. Maria, what is going on here?"

Eirin could feel herself falling apart. The events and confusion of the past couple of days had been pushed back but now they were forcing themselves forward so that she could not ignore them with planning and anger. Her life was out of her control. She had managed to deal with her arrival at Lord Hawthorn's castle with the thought that at least she was out of her house and not longer had to be a slave to Phillip and Melissa. She had at been treated kindly by most people and ignored by Lord Hawthorn until he wanted her. She had been allowed to keep busy with work and to explore the grounds.

Now she had been sitting in a carriage all day long with nothing but her own thoughts and Lord Hawthorn watching her closely. He had been kind and considerate, stopping the carriage every few hours to allow her to walk around and relieve herself. He had told her they would be married! That and the discovery of her father's murderer kept running through her mind over and over. She tried again to push them out but her thoughts refused to cooperate and continued to rush forward and be heard.

Maria watched Eirin as the anguish washed over her. She had seen her that morning in her anger and knew it wouldn't last. Eirin had been using her anger as a crutch to refuse to deal with the events of the night before and that morning, but Maria had known she couldn't continue like that. When Lord Hawthorn had ordered proper attire be packed for himself and Eirin and the carriage brought around, she had insisted on coming. Lord Hawthorn had tried to dissuade her, claiming her family would need her, but she wasn't to be budged. Someone needed to be there for Eirin when the events caught up to her.

Maria rushed to Eirin and took her in her arms, leading her towards the bed to sit down. She rocked Eirin and listened to her babble about everything that had happened over the last three months.

"I just want to go home Maria. I want to be in my home. It's been so hard; Lori was so mean to me. I felt so uncomfortable with Lord Hawthorn and I'm not that kind of girl, I swear. I had never even been kissed. I want my daddy. Oh, Maria, I want my daddy. They killed him Maria. Why did they kill him?"

Maria continued to rock Eirin as her body lost its rigidity and became lax in her arms. Once Eirin had stopped crying, she began to undress her and get her into her bath.

Lord Hawthorn listened to the events in the next room through the wall. He wondered for the hundredth time that day if he was doing the right thing. Maybe he should have forced her to stay home? But she never would have agreed with that. She would have just run away after he left. He had to go to London himself; he couldn't allow Phillip and his daughter to get away with their actions.

Every time he remembered Eirin crying in her sleep his heart contracted and his throat closed up. He had to see them be punished; he had to do whatever he could in order to bring some consolation to Eirin. Why wouldn't she allow him to console her? She was angry with him all day, barely speaking to him except for their fight when he insisted on stopping for the night.

Lord Hawthorn spent the night sitting in a chair by the wall that divided him from Eirin. When she woke up screaming in the night, it was all he could do to stop himself from running into the hallway and breaking down her door. He sat, feeling impotent, as Maria whispered words of comfort to Eirin.

The next day went much the same, except that Lord Hawthorn gave in and allowed them to continue on into the night. They arrived at Eirin's townhouse at close to midnight. Eirin began to stomp her way into the house, but was instead ordered by Lord Hawthorn to remain in the carriage.

Eirin watched impatiently out the window, cursing Lord Hawthorn in her mind for his arrogant and overbearing attitude. It was her house. She had just decided to defy his orders when he called out to the driver to unhitch a horse and run for a doctor. Rushing into the house, Eirin found Melissa on the sofa in the study, her face swollen and discolored. She had dried blood on her face, clothes and hands and was mumbling incoherently.

Eirin looked at Melissa dispassionately. Though two days ago she had been ready to kill her, she knew she could not let her die. It just simply was not in her nature to allow another being to suffer. Eventually she would look back upon this instance and marvel at her lack of compassion for Melissa, but at that moment she was too busy ordering the rest of the servants to bring her supplies.

By the time the doctor arrived Melissa had been moved to a servant's room and changed into a nightgown. As Eirin cleaned her, she noticed that Melissa was missing several of her teeth and in all likelihood had three broken fingers. She had cried the entire time and babbled off names that Eirin did not recognize.

The doctor had informed them that it was too late to stitch her up as she had already begun to heal and it would be impossible to prevent any scarring at that point. Eirin secretly thought that Melissa deserved to be scarred; she had used her beauty to manipulate people her whole life, now she was going to find out what it was like to truly work for a living.

Eirin stretched her back as she stood to pace the room. She knew she should leave a servant in there to watch Melissa, as she owed her nothing more. However, she couldn't just leave Melissa in the hands of someone who might not know what to do if she became even sicker. Thus Eirin found herself watching over Melissa trying not to let her own problems invade her thoughts.

She was just making her third circle of the room when she was startled by Lord Hawthorn standing in the doorway, holding a cup of tea and looking at her expectantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you; what did you say?"

"I asked if you would like a cup of tea? Or, if you would prefer I can take over for you and sit in here for a while. That way you can take a bath and get some rest. You haven't even changed out of your traveling clothes; surely you would prefer to freshen up?"

Eirin turned back towards the bed before looking at Lord Hawthorn again and shaking her head, "Thank you for the offer, Lord Hawthorn, but I really am fine here. The doctor didn't know how long she had been in this house alone after being beaten; she could still take a turn for the worse." Her voice was friendly enough but he could not help but notice that she didn't really look at him, just in his direction.

Lord Hawthorn continued standing in the doorway just looking at her, until finally, he said in a low voice, "Christopher."

Eirin turned towards him, her brows furrowed in confusion, "I'm sorry?"

"Christopher, it is my name."

"Oh, yes, well thank you, but I really am fine. I will stay with her through the night and see you tomorrow."

Lord Hawthorn closed his eyes before stepping into the room and setting the cup on a table by the door. He then turned and left without another word.

Eirin watched Lord Hawthorn leave, wondering at his motivation for visiting her in here as well as bringing her a cup of tea. He had been uncommonly patient during their entire trip and it made her uncomfortable wondering when he would make whatever demand he was working up to.

The next morning Eirin did not show up at breakfast. When she was missing at the midday meal as well, Lord Hawthorn went in search of her. He found her sitting in a chair in a corner of the room Melissa was recovering in. She had her feet curled up under her and head was resting on her hands against the back of the chair.

He watched her for a while, listening to her soft breathing, before he went over and lifted her up. She didn't move at all as he carried her up the stairs and stripped off the dress she had worn the previous day in the carriage, telling him just how tired she was. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and couldn't figure out what compelled her to stay with Melissa, a woman she proclaimed to hate, even after she was dropping with fatigue.

****

A full week had passed since Eirin and Lord Hawthorn had arrived at her house to find Melissa unconscious in the study. Melissa was still ensconced in the servant's room where she had been deposited, but she was no longer crying and mumbling incoherently.

Instead she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Eirin had been forced to have someone tie her wrists to the bed and Melissa was obviously unhappy with this new turn of events. There was nothing for it, though. Each time someone tried to look at her wounds she would reach out and scratch them. She was also hitting herself and Eirin feared she would cause herself further injury.

Eirin stood beside the bed but in reality she wasn't listening to Melissa. If anyone had seen her, they would have noticed that her eyes were unfocused and staring off into space. In fact, Eirin wasn't even aware of where she was. She was thinking about the last week in the townhouse.

Each night, after he thought she had fallen asleep, Lord Hawthorn slipped into bed with her and each morning, before she should have awoken, he left. He held her tightly during the night, sometimes running his hands up and down her arms; however, he had never even tried to kiss her. Sometimes she could hear him whispering, as if speaking to her, but his words were to low for her to hear.

She had tried to avoid him when they first arrived by staying with Melissa during all her waking hours, refusing even to take meals. Everyone looked at her oddly, wondering why she would be so concerned about a person that hated and yelled at her. She didn't care about Melissa. She just wanted a room to go to, where she could think without having people crowd around her and look at her with a combination of curiosity and compassion. She just ignored Melissa's screaming and stayed within her own head. She had her own problems to think about, like why Lord Hawthorn was still there and what he wanted.

Eirin was still deep in thought when she realized that the room had grown quiet. She looked around and gasped when she saw the man of her considerations. He was standing over Melissa's bed with his hands on his hips while she stared up at him but he was looking at Eirin. Somehow he had managed to enter the room and walk by her without her even noticing. Now he was gazing at her, his look a combination of lust and tenderness. He began to reach out to Eirin but she jumped back, broken from her reverie. "I should check on..." her voice faded off as she hurried from the room.

Lord Hawthorn watched as Eirin ran from the room. Ran from him. His heart constricted at the thought that she was afraid of him. His sole solace each day was being able to go to her at night after she went to sleep. Knowing he could hold her without her flinching and speak tenderly to her without her turning away.

He had already set the balls in motion. There was no going back now. He would leave the decision up to Eirin and he prayed that she would choose him.

****

Eirin was in the library when Maria came to get her. She turned with a smile, expecting to be able to sit with her friend and have pleasant conversation. However, the look on Maria's face was anything but pleasant. "Maria, good lord, what is wrong? Has something happened? Did they find Phillip? Did Melissa get free?"

"I'm ashamed of you!"

Eirin stepped back, her eyes widening in hurt and confusion. She felt her mind race to figure out what she could have possibly done to upset Maria, but as far as she knew she hadn't done anything. Since she had arrived in London, she hadn't even been out of the house, sticking to Melissa's room or her own most of the time.

"Don't look so shocked at me, young lady. You know what I'm talking about. Look at yourself; look at what you are wearing. Lord Hawthorn bought you wardrobes full of beautiful new clothes. Each night he waits and waits at that dinner table alone, hoping you will show up. Most nights he leaves without even eating. You spend more time with a woman who curses at you than you do with the man who loves you."

Eirin's back went up at Maria's tirade as she tried to hide the hurt it had caused her. She had thought that of everyone, Maria would understand her feelings. Afterall, it was Maria who had taken care of her during her stay at Lord Hawthorn's estate. In addition, of everyone, Maria knew the most about their situation.

Eirin's voice was flat as she answered Maria. She knew now where her loyalties lay. Of course, she had worked for Lord Hawthorn for years, why would she believe that Maria would be on her side? "Maria, I am sorry that I have disappointed you. Perhaps you would prefer to eat with your Lord yourself? I have made arrangements for Melissa to be moved to Belle View so no doubt you will be able to return home soon. I want to thank you in advance for your help during my stay with your employer."

Maria watched as a wall fell over Eirin's eyes and her heart broke at the dead tone in her voice. She had never meant to come in here and yell at her, but Lord Hawthorn was more miserable than she had ever seen him. Even when his mother was rejecting him and his step-father was abusing him, he still had a spark of fire in his eye. Something to show that he was a fighter, something to show that in spite of them, he would win.

Now that spark was gone. Lord Hawthorn was a ghost in this house. He spent every waking hour either trying to find Phillip or worrying about Eirin. He had hired servants and saw to it that Eirin's every need was fulfilled without her ever even realizing it. He was constantly sneaking down to Melissa's room to check on Eirin or calling servants to find out where she was. Maria just wanted to see him smile again. She knew Eirin and Lord Hawthorn were meant for each other and she had a suspicion that Lord Hawthorn had finally realized it too. Now how to get Eirin to realize her love for Lord Hawthorn?

Maria wanted to go to Eirin, take her in her arms and hold her. Maria wanted to rock her like the child she appeared and tell her that everything would be alright. But, Eirin wasn't a child; she was a strong-willed young woman who had survived more than her fair share of hardships in her life.

Maria knew that someday she would be able to comfort her, but not now, not today. Today, Eirin was caught in her own storm of emotions. Today Eirin needed a release. So, instead of holding her, like the mother in her wanted to do, Maria offered to take her shopping.

Eirin blinked. Just a minute ago Maria was yelling at her for being so inconsiderate. What had just happened? "Maria? Why would I want to go shopping?"

"Eirin, honey, new servants have been hired and I'm not really needed here. Melissa's yelling and screeching is just about to drive me insane. I don't know my way around London, so I was wondering if you would accompany me on some errands."

Eirin narrowed her eyes at Maria once more but merely nodded her head. Something was happening, but so far she couldn't figure out what it was. Maria suggested Eirin run up to her room and freshen up before they left.

After Eirin left Maria sat in the parlor wondering what her next step would be. Eirin had too much on her thin shoulders and Maria desperately wanted to help her with her load. The question was how would she get Eirin to open up? How could she make Eirin see that Lord Hawthorn would be good for her? She sighed as she started leaving the room, worried that she wouldn't think of any answers before it was too late.

Maria shrieked as she bumped into Lord Hawthorn in the doorway. Lord Hawthorn put his finger to his lips and motioned for her to be quiet as he led her back into the room and shut the door. "I was listening from the hallway, Maria. I want to thank you for taking Eirin out today. I was beginning to worry that she would make herself sick with the way she's been going."

"Oh, Lord Hawthorn, I don't know what I'm doing! I yelled at her and I didn't mean to. I'm so frustrated watching the two of you be so miserable. Now Eirin says that she's arranged for Melissa to be moved to Belle View, so we are going to be leaving. Are we leaving? Will you just leave that poor girl here all alone?" cried Maria.

Lord Hawthorn broke into her ramble, "Maria, calm down. We aren't going anywhere. I want you to do me a favor, please. No, hold on, don't interrupt me," Lord Hawthorn held up his hand to keep her from interjecting since he knew that once she started talking she wouldn't stop again. "I want you to get her to order herself some more dresses. She won't wear the ones I ordered for her, try to keep her out as long as you can today. I have a plan, but I need her to out of the house, can you do that?"

"Lord Hawthorn, you know I would do anything for you, but she doesn't trust you. She doesn't trust me either. I saw the look in her eyes as I asked her to run errands with me; I know she thinks I'm up to something. I swear my only thought was that I wanted her out of this house where she is so tense sometimes I'm afraid she'll break."

Lord Hawthorn reached out and hugged Maria. It was the first time he had ever shown her affection in such a way, but he couldn't help himself. She was the absolute dearest woman he had ever known and if it weren't for her, he would never have been able to trust Eirin. It was Maria who had opened his eyes to how innocent Eirin really was and how horrible he had been. He owed Maria so much, and if his plan worked and he was able to win Eirin's heart for keeps he would owe her even more.

Maria squeaked. "My Lord! Are you alright?"

"Maria, I've never told you this, but I really do love you. You are a wonderful woman; I know that if you take Eirin out today and show her the sunshine and talk to her just like you do, you can convince her to do anything."

Maria's eyes started tearing up as she pulled back to look at the employer she was so devoted to. She had watched him grow from a quiet, withdrawn child into a driven man. She had always been so proud of him, but at the same time she had worried that he would eventually change to a bitter old man.

Just a short while ago she had been worried about him because he looked so depressed and flat. However, now his eyes were shining and his face was glowing. She knew the look on his face because she had seen it on the face of her own husband every day since they had met; the husband Lord Hawthorn himself had arranged for her. Lord Hawthorn had finally reached his decision; he loved Eirin and would fight to have her. Maria felt her entire body lighten with the joy she felt. She had never thought this day would arrive.

Maria nodded her head as she reached up and took his face in her hands. Maria spoke in barely a whisper and for the first time in as long as Lord Hawthorn could remember; she didn't rush her words or ramble on. "You love her and I know she loves you too. She is a special girl and she's good for you."

"I know, but I'm good for her too. She doesn't realize it yet, but she will. Now go, Eirin will be down any second now. Remember, keep her out until this evening." With that Lord Hawthorn gently pushed her towards the door and watched her walk out.

Eirin and Maria spent the day running around London. Maria's fears turned out to be for naught. Eirin was caught up in the scenery and bustle of London, giddy as a school girl in her excitement. Maria made Eirin tell her about everything they passed.