Elaine & Me

I switched on the radio but early Sunday morning radio doesn't always have the best rock music and soon I was dozing off as the sun rose and the car temperature started to climb. I awoke with start as Elaine opened the door with her hard hat and gloves still on.

"Come on," she said, "Would you like to ride him."

"I'm not sure, I've never ridden a horse before," I said truthfully.

"You won't be going fast, I’ll help you aboard and then we will walk him until he cools down a little."

"I don't know about this," I said concerned.

"Look he is no problem, most of the riders here are women, so a mere male should have no problems," she laughed.

Soon I was aboard and one horse power was turning out to more difficult to control than the 150bhp that was inside my dad's car.

"You are a natural," she said as she walked alongside holding the horse’s lead rein. "Just another couple of laps."

Just as well I thought as the saddle started to cut into my thin cheeks.

"Now I know why lady riders have such padded buttocks," I said when I eventually dismounted without falling on my back.

"Why?"

"It's because it's like sitting on a knife edge, there is no padding so it helps to carry your own.”

"Very funny," she said, "though I have to admit that my backside is feeling a little tender right now. Maybe you can give it a massage when we get home."

“Next time you go riding I could go with you on my mountain bike, to keep you company,” I said. “It was boring here waiting for you even with the views I was getting.”

“I would like that,” she said.

Soon the 16-hand stallion was back in his box after Elaine gave him a rub down, some carrots and some fresh hay.

"The farmer looks after him the rest of the week but I like to muck out his stall and feed him whenever I'm here," she said as we drove back to town.

On the way we stopped in a small village that had a warm and inviting pub. We had lunch and while I had my usual pint of beer, Elaine stuck to her diet Pepsi.

The lunch was marvellous and I thanked her again for giving me a ride on her horse.

"You'll have to get one of your own," she said.

"I couldn't afford one right now. I don't have much money left after 4 years of study"

"I realise that dummy but after you get on your feet, you could get one?"

"There will be other priorities before that, I'm afraid.”

"Have you got a job lined up yet?" she asked.

"I have two job offers, one is local but the pay is crap and the one I was going to take with an electronics firm is in Kent but the salary is much better. Right now the Kent job looks unattractive to me where I'm sitting."

She smiled. "I don't think I would like it too much if you went to work in Kent."

"I've already thought about that," I said. "They have a subsidiary company here in Edinburgh and I was hoping that if I explained that I couldn't leave here because of personal problems that they might find an opening for me up here."

"It doesn't always work out like that." She said.

"The other offer is nearly 3 grand less but it is local and that would mean that I could at least see you regularly."

“I hope that you will see me all the time now,” she replied.

“You really mean that don’t you?” I asked.

“Yes, I always worried about starting a relationship with a man while I was transitioning. I had Lorraine of course, but I knew that once the operations were over that I would like to find myself a considerate man to take care of me. I didn’t expect to meet you when I did. Perhaps you came along too early.”

“What was it about me that attracted you,” I asked.

“You were just like a school boy; naive and somewhat shy, a bit reserved but gentle and caring. I would say you are also very kind, intelligent and perhaps lacking in experience in dealing with people.”

“Anything else?” I asked interested in what she had to say.

“No that about sums you up, perhaps you are also very careful with your money because you are a student, but that is understandable. I like that,” she added.

“So what happens now, with us? I asked.

“Whatever you want, when I was in hospital I thought about you constantly wondering how you would react to this news. You have reacted better than Lorraine and I thought you would,” she said. “When I came back home, I was tempted to ring you to find out how you were and when you came round that first night, I was desperate to embrace you again.”

“It sounds like you love me,” I said taking her hand and kissing it.

“You have only realised that now? Of course I love you,” she said.

“Really and truthfully?” I asked.

“Didn’t last night convince you or will this?” she said reaching forward and kissing me slowly on the mouth and then inserting her tongue between my teeth.

“You convinced me,” I said hoping my saliva production wouldn’t be affected by that really lovely kiss. “I have to confess that right now I can’t imagine spending my life with anybody other than you,” I said.

“Does that mean you love me too? “ she asked lifting an eyebrow and smiling.

“You could say that,” I said.

“Well say it then,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“That you love me,” she demanded.

“OK,” I replied.

“Oh you,” she screamed at me as we drove along.

“I love you Elaine,” I said and reached over to take her hands and she intertwined her fingers in mine. I decided to tease her more, “Just like my dog, my brother and my mum and dad.”

She looked at me and I creased myself laughing. She pulled over into a bus stop and looked at me. “Just tell me what you think, no more games and innuendo.” She looked serious and I realised that I had to be more serious back.

“I am sorry, I do love you. When I was studying, I thought about you constantly. Your little revelation yesterday took the wind out of my sails, but if you can live with it then so can I. I just want to stay with you,” I replied. Before she could respond I said, “I am sorry I teased you can we get back now?”

“Not yet,” she said and she reached over and kissed me again. I responded as well as I could but it was obvious that Elaine wanted more than I could give just then.

I kissed her back and we went on our way.

Lorraine greeted us at the door and asked our day had been.

“Great,” said Elaine, “It seems that we love each other.”

“Does this mean wedding bells?” asked Lorraine.

“Give us a chance, we need to take this carefully but right now, I don’t think I would say no,” I interrupted them both.

Elaine of course was delighted and gave me a hug and another kiss. Laughing she said, “how about in month’s time?”

“I would love to but look I am flat broke. I owe my folks a couple of thousand pounds and I don’t have a job and you want me to get married. You might have money but I have my pride you know,” I said feeling hurt.

“Sorry lets take this steady,” Elaine said, “We shouldn’t get carried away with this.”

“I agree just give me some time to get myself up to speed, OK,” I said as I looked into her eyes.

“It’s OK, I‘ll lend you the money,” she said back smiling.

“Elaine!” I said back with a strong tone in my voice that meant I was serious.

“Come on you two, no more talk about weddings and come through here and relax,” said Lorraine.

“OK,” said Elaine, “I’ll change later.”

We sat down on the huge sofa and collapsed into one another as we watched TV. There was not much discussion as we huddled together my head resting on Elaine’s hips while she put her head on my thigh. She smelt of perfume and horses but I put my hand between her legs and she pressed her thighs together to keep it there. We lay and watched a romantic movie until she had to get up.

When she came back, she said, “I know you have no money but would you like to go out tonight to a club or something.”

“I would love to, where do you want to go?”

“Lorraine wants to try out a new one on the East Side of town. Would you mind escorting us out?”

“Of course I don’t mind but I would need to go home and get changed first,” I replied pointing to my less than Sunday best.

“I have thought about that,” she said and she curled her finger several times to beckon me to go with her.

She led me down into the basement where she showed me a dozen bags of clothes. “These used to be mine, but obviously they are no use to me now. Maybe you could find something in here that would fit you. I’ll leave you while I fix us some food and I’ll be right back.”

I emptied the first bag on the floor and couldn’t believe the clothing that lay in front of me. There were obviously some expensive suits, jackets, trousers, shirts and underwear and they all looked like they would fit.

I weeded out the not so new items or those that were damaged but I was still left with a complete new wardrobe. I thought it ironic that I would be wearing Elaine’s old clothes.

If I was going out tonight, I wanted to be smart and found a dark blue double breasted suit with deep lapels and side vents. The trousers were slightly short in the leg but otherwise it was a good fit. I could turn the turn-ups over I thought as Elaine returned.

“Could you take those turn-ups out for me and gave them an iron,” I asked.

She agreed to do it and was soon back with them in her hands. “Anything else,” she asked.

“Yes this shirt I think and the jacket,” I said holding up a creamy white shirt that felt wonderful to touch.

“You have good taste,” she said as she headed back to the ironing board.

I found dozens of pairs of cotton and even silk briefs and socks in all shapes sizes and colours.

There were a couple of brand new dress shirts still in their wrappers and I found a tie with a multi-coloured psychedelic style pattern. In another bag I found a whole selection of shoes including several obvious women’s styles. I found a pair of black brogues and despite being a little tight they were shoehorned onto my feet.

In another bag I came across more briefs and vests and mixed in among that lot were some noticeably more female garments.

I weeded these out and placed them in the reject pile. “Don’t you want to get into my old panties?” she asked holding them up.

“No I would probably like it too much,” I replied. “Why are you chucking them out?”

“These are meant for a narrow hip and they are much too tight now” she explained. “They would fit you, do you not want to try them?”

“No thanks,” I replied.

“Go on, you will like them, honestly,” she said putting a pair up to my waist. “They look as though they will fit OK.”

“That’s beside the point they are female pants, I cant wear them,” I replied.

“Listen why don’t we take all this stuff up to my room and try these items out for size,” she declared.

“Have we got time, I thought we were going out soon?” I asked.

“Yes you are right, we can have a look through them tomorrow, I am on holiday tomorrow,” she replied. “By the way that shirt you picked isn’t a shirt it is one of my old silk blouses, I hope you like it,” she said laughing.

I decided to stick by my choices and was dressed and ready to go well ahead of Lorraine and Elaine. My clothes were every smart and the silk shirt/blouse fitted me very well. I was sure I could still smell Elaine’s perfume on it even after what must have been months in that musty basement.

Lorraine was down first; she had picked an elegant wine coloured velour cocktail dress. It had a flattering scoop neckline that showed off her ample bustline. The hem was just above a pair of delicate brown heels with front cross over straps.

On her shoulder she wore a leopard broach and her hair had been tied up tightly in a bun. As usual her face was immaculate and tastefully made up.

She did a twirl for me and asked how she looked, I said, “Just fantastic my brother doesn’t know what he is missing.”

She came up and gave me a peck on the cheek just as Elaine came down the stairs.

While Lorraine had taken my breath away, my mouth just dropped when Elaine arrived. She was wearing a semitransparent lace dress of midnight blue with a plunging neckline. Round her neck she wore a gold chain and locket. In her ears she wore beautiful sparkling drop earrings.

In contrast to her sister, her hair was down about her shoulders and her long square edged nails now matched the colour of her dress. Again her dress was long, with the hem just above her ankles. As she twirled I could see that she wore special stockings with a seam and bow just above the ankle strap of a dainty high heel shoe.

I helped her to put on her woollen coat that had a fur lining and then she took her bag, hat and gloves. Lorraine had already put on her Cashmere jacket and was setting the alarm.

We walked out across the gravel drive towards the white BMW and Elaine opened the doors and got into the driver’s seat. I sat in the back knowing how difficult it would be for Lorraine to negotiate the back seat in that dress.

When we arrived, I got out smartly and helped both girls out.

“Oh thanks, John,” said Elaine as she held tightly onto my hand. I proffered both arms and both slipped their arms in and we walked about a hundred yards along the road to the new nightclub.

It was in a relatively quiet part of Edinburgh and apart from the noise of their heels on the paving slabs there was some shouting at the far end and Elaine whispered into my ear. “I’m glad we have a man with us tonight to protect us.”

“Don’t worry, I will make sure that no harm comes to you,” I said confidently.

We were admitted and checked in the ladies coats into the cloakroom and then descended some stairs into huge cavern like dance floor. It was heaving with bodies, some very glamorous ladies, and some well-dressed gentlemen. There was a disc jockey at one end playing the latest hits complete with flashing and quite hypnotic strobe lights.

I shouted if they wanted to dance above the sound of the music but Lorraine shook her head. Instead they headed down the side of the dance floor and through some fire doors and we found ourselves in a quiet lounge area complete with cocktail bar and velour covered seats.

It smelt a bit smoky but was otherwise OK. I bought both of them a glass of Chardonnay and for myself I decided that my usual pint of beer would seem out of place for the occasion or the location so I ordered a single malt whiskey instead.

Now I am not a great whiskey drinker so I treated this stuff with great respect especially because the round had cost nearly £15.

We found a vacant booth and sat down and then we talked. I couldn’t believe it. I was in one of the city’s top nightclubs and I was out with two of the most beautiful girls in town.

We chatted about the venue it’s attractions and what we had seen. I had frequented such places before but never in such company. I took a sip of my drink and it burned my throat.

Lorraine noticed my gasp and asked, “What are you drinking?”

“A single malt whiskey,” I said with my mouth on fire like some dragon.

They both laughed, Elaine still smiling said, “You should have bought what you wanted not something to impress us.”

“Listen would either of you or both of you like to dance,” I asked.

Lorraine said, “You two go and have fun and I’ll keep our seats.”

I led Elaine through to the crowded dance floor filled with sweat filled bodies gyrating to the latest Simply Red single.

Soon we were dancing and I shouted in her ear, “You really like this don’t you?”

“What?”

“Being a beautiful girl,” I shouted back in her ear. “With all this,” I added pointing to her beautiful dress.

“You can’t believe how much I love it,” she shouted back in my ear. Then she added. “Now I have you and I have had the operation, I feel complete, I want us to be together for ever and ever.”

“Me too,” I shouted back. “I am really glad you want me.”

After several hard rocking numbers, the disc jockey slowed the tempo and we slowly came together for a slow number. I put my arms around Elaine’s waist and she rested her arms on my shoulders. We danced forehead to forehead for a couple of minutes looking into each other’s eyes. Despite her heels she was just level with me and we just floated together smiling at each other until the end of the song.

I did think that we would go back to Lorraine after that song but the next one was another favourite of Elaine’s and soon she had her head on my shoulder as we slowly danced around and around. She danced quite gracefully and was able get her mouth against my neck and give me little love bites.

After that dance she kissed me fully on the mouth and almost sucked all the air out of my lungs. I was relieved when it finished because I was able to get some much-needed air back into my body.

We walked hand in hand back to the table and when we got there, Lorraine decided to extricate herself and take with her a new admirer.

“Where have you guys been? I have been desperate to get out and boogie but I didn’t want to lose this table. Meet Joe. Joe this Elaine and her boyfriend John.”

I shook hands with Joe and watched them walk out towards the dance floor, “To think that that could have been my brother,” I said, “what an idiot.”

“Sorry,” said Elaine who had failed to catch what I had said.

“No matter, they look good together,” I said. “Can I get you something fresh to drink?”

“That would be great, a diet Coke please with plenty of ice,” she said.

“I think I’ll buy myself something wetter this time,” I said as I kissed her on the forehead. “Can you manage without me?”

“Of course not, all these guys want to do, is rape me, hurry back,” she laughed.

I was quickly served and returned with my beer and her coke but still found two guys sitting at our table. She seemed to be having an animated conversation when I approached. As I stood with the glasses, they suddenly got up looking slightly angry at her and then at me.

“What did they want?” I asked when they had left.

“Oh nothing,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Come on they did want something otherwise you wouldn’t be crying,” I replied cuddling her close.

“It was nothing I tell you, come on we have to leave,” she said starting to get up.

“Elaine, I am not leaving until you tell me what’s up,” I pulled her back down crossing my arms and my legs in frustration and to show my determination.

“OK, OK. If I tell you, can we go home now?” She said with real tears dripping out her eyes and onto a hankie I quickly gave her.

“They said that one their girlfriends had sussed out that I was a guy when we were dancing. They called me a freak and to get the hell out of here before they called the manager. They said the manager is a personal friend of theirs and I had ten minutes to get out and not come back. I asked them what difference it made to them or to their girlfriend but they just repeated their ultimatum.”

“Oh you poor thing,” I said as I held her hand. “They must have been watching me go to the bar and when I left, they pounced. What charming people there are in this wonderful country of ours. All full of human kindness and warmth for their fellows.”

“Come on drink up, let’s get out of here,” she said. “I obviously don’t pass as well as I thought I did.”

“I know what it was, it was when we were shouting on the dance floor, she must have overheard what we said or something,” I replied taking a huge gulp out of my pint of beer. “I’m not paying £5 for a drink to just leave it here,” I said as I downed the drink in almost one go. I had worked up a thirst dancing and the whiskey needed to be washed down.

She on the other hand was up and pulling up the shoulder strap on her purse and we left to find Lorraine. She found her quickly and we explained that we had to leave. Joe obviously unhappy at his catch disappearing asked to come too but was quickly rebuffed by Lorraine.

We were soon in the BMW heading back home with Lorraine driving, because Elaine was just too upset for words.