Elegy of Birth

We speak of passion lightheartedly, as if we transgress those that have come before us. Quite the contrary to where reality has brought the evolvement of humankind. I lay in wait where timid creatures play and dance with emotions beneath flaccid and ember skies. Yet we adapt and survive on pure strength of will by clawing and scratching toward the light at the end of the tunnel. Forthwith I take another white colored capsule and I too will survive.

To purge oneself of unspeakable recollections requires delicate handling, dismal treachery and much to my dismay, seven years of medication. I speak of these things as if I have firsthand knowledge, yet I still hear demons echo… "Vicious is the whore who fucks without feeling." Even now ten years later, I still grow tired of reasoning.

And upon the shoulders of an epiphany I heard cries of vengeance and utterances of forbidden taboos. And encased within these marbled voices I heard my Tessa call out to me in lust. "Sometimes we believe what we want to believe." She whimpered as she began to disrobe.

Through this drug-educed coma that I have been forced to endure- I reached out my hand to guide her from the heavens to my side. Yet my euphoria quickly turned to a nightmarish hell. Her face writhed with snakelike extensions and the medusa spat at me as she turned to laugh.

I heard her footsteps as they cascaded against the limestone floor. Her frozen breath poured out upon the hospital's foyer. And just as suddenly, she appeared over me. As my torturous memory has flogged me countless times- her cream-colored completion radiated maturity and pride. "We believe what we want to believe." She sighed

I have brought with me to the Mount, sermons of saints, pastors and popes. Yet this woman preached as all of the Jerry Falwell's that have come before her- with an iron fist and relentless, nevertheless her fuck tasted just as sweet.

"Rage- my mortal enemy I embrace thee. Free me from this prison in which I have been captive for so many years."

I am madness

And she came unto me and begged of me forgiveness or maybe just patience. Compliance brings me to where I am now. I will wait until the Armageddon and the missiles fly. I will abide by her wishes until my Tessa returns and we are one.

She pressed her cold hardened lips against mine and I felt my body push inside hers. My incubus trapped somewhere deep within my groin I could feel her overwhelming desire to swallow my demons whole.

And the seed was planted.

And the madness diminishes.

Vanquished.

Like Abel's sheep brought to slaughter- I am the sacrificial lamb.

She led me from the lunacy where I have been and for so long embraced. Together we imagined unbounded riches and colorless folds and I was healed.

To dismiss my actions as foolhardy is to dismiss God.

"I love you." I whispered softly into her ear

Her eyes closed briefly. This very action instilled upon me the truth that I have known all along. Her head dropped partially in shame, partially at a loss for words. Her rose colored cheeks faded and then her eyes opened.

She hesitated briefly and softly guided her hand to mine "I love you too." She spoke through her raspberry-pouted lips.

Often, over years I have wondered dreams and what my manhood could become within Tessa's embrace. I wondered ideals like second chances and eternity. It is upon me now. I could taste her breath.

And she came.

Her trembling body exploded in desires and fantasies. I comforted her throughout her orgasm.

Her wetness coated and soothed me but my eyes never left hers.

"I love you." I reiterated.

It was a new beginning of sorts- where God has spared his sacrificial lamb. I stand here at the edge of forever waiting patently for her response. And like so often in my dreams of madness Tessa would not let me down.

She looked heavenward and stared off into nothingness.

"Sometimes," she cried, "sometimes we believe what we want to believe."