Emily's Discovery

Although the story and characters are 100 percent fiction, I did grow up in a very small town like the fictional Dusty Flats. I had the good fortune to enjoy that simple lifestyle. I tell it in the first person because I personally remember those days with fondness.

1978. Long before cell phones, the video game frenzy, 400 channels of TV available at the touch of a remote, or home computers, we lived in a much simpler existence.

In Dusty Flats, it was even simpler. A very quiet and small community of less than 300 people located along a two lane road enjoyed a lifestyle that existed on good neighbors, good barbeques, and a thriving oilfield workforce that kept this and several other small communities within a 15 mile radius going strong.

My uncle Willie was one of the few men in the area that didn't work for the oilfields. As a youngster, he did, but he bought the Dusty Quick-Stop, a combination gas station and small grocery market, in 1960 , at the age of 30.

It was his dream to have his own business and the highway store had a loyal customer base.

His wife, my Aunt Mary helped with the store while also being a busy mother of my cousins, Brett and Amy.

Brett is 3 years older than I, and Amy is one year older.

I'm Adam, and I spent many weekends as a kid at that humble home in Dusty Flats.

My mother Marge and Aunt Mary were sisters, with Mary being older by a year. I also had an older brother, Donald, that had died many years ago as a toddler due to complications of a stomach disorder.

We were the "city kids" although we loved the rural life so much better. My dad, Lee, had a handyman business that his dad had begun in the early 1950s that kept him busy all day from Monday -Friday and usually a half day on Saturdays. Mom was a part-time librarian for one of the junior high schools in town.

The "big city" was located about 40 miles from the rural community of Dusty Flats. The city did have a fine junior college and a 4 year university. There was large shopping mall there that folks from towns like Dusty Flats, Walden Acres, and Logantown would drive to do their major shopping, including groceries.

Uncle Willie's roadside market kept necessities like milk, eggs, bread, and butter in stock along with plenty of snack foods and sodas. To do any shopping for meats and other important items, it required a visit to the "big city" (population less than 100,000). Life in Central California back then truly is so different than what most people get to experience today.

I look back on those years from the late 60s to late 70s nostalgically as some of the happiest of my life. As kids, we'd spend many evenings sleeping outdoors on their large front porch. If the weather was too cold or too wet, we'd just sprawl out on the living room floor. Who needs a bed anyway? Even my cousins, who had their own beds, would sleep on the floor with us.

In fact, Brett and Amy's friends would come over for the night and we'd make room for them as well. There were two empty beds that no one used, and no one wanted to use.

I loved that area and I loved the cookouts. I loved taking turns with my cousins cranking the handle of the homemade ice cream maker. Hamburgers, hot dogs, and chicken on the grill was only made better than having that homemade ice cream for dessert.

Evenings were spent with the adults, including some of their neighbors, sitting around in various conversations. Often, the men would huddle around Uncle Willie's pickup truck while the ladies would either sit on the porch or inside and carry on with their conversations.

Us kids? Well, we mingled together quite well despite the age differences. I was closer in age to Amy, although she was always one grade ahead of me. Still, I was the better student and would often be able to help her with her homework although her studies were one grade advanced.

I loved math and spelling. In fact, I placed second in the county spelling bee in both my 7^th and 8^th grade years. I had been doing high school level math and algebra in junior high.

However, it wasn't just Amy that I enjoyed. She had a friend, Emily. Tall, thin, long red, curly hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, bright green eyes, and a quiet demeanor that made me want to know her more.

The problem with me was that I was an absolute mess around girls...socially at least. I was fine with Amy, she was my cousin. But I had a huge crush on Emily and yet played so cool and aloof when around her.

I could stare at her for hours. Her willowy build, small ass, and smallish breasts would get my attention.

Emily lived three houses down from my cousins. Her parents, Vic and Staci, were friends with my aunt and uncle as well as my parents.

To be clear, living three houses down in Dusty Flats isn't the same as three houses down in a more modern neighborhood.

The streets were wide and paved with gravel. There were no lines in the streets. Many houses were 100 feet or more apart from their next door neighbor.

Still, when I was around Emily, I practically became a mute. When she was around, I could carry on a normal conversation with anyone else, but to talk to Emily? It was simple yes, no, or I Don't Know kind of answers.

Emily was Amy's age, which also meant she was a year older. That was also intimidating to me since I doubted she'd want a "younger man." Despite all my self-confidence I had with my academics, I was a wreck around her.

Nobody tried to play matchmaker for us. Looking back, I'm sure others must have noticed changes in my behavior when talking to her. If nothing else, they might have concluded that I didn't really like her.

Emily was self-conscious about her appearance. She was a late bloomer. She was skinny. She never even needed a bra until she was in high school.

In 1978, where this story picks up, I was ready to graduate from high school. I had turned 18 in May and would begin junior college in August.

Uncle Willie offered me some part-time work at the market. I would work part of the day Friday afternoon and most of the day on the weekend. The store always closed by 6 on weekdays and at 4 on weekends.

By then, I had saved enough money to buy a 1966 Nova. It wasn't much to look at, but my dad gave it a thorough inspection and assured me that it would serve its purpose for several more years. The fact that he had good mechanical skills also helped. I learned how to do basic maintenance on it, including replacing the spark plugs and "gapping" them to company specs. I did my own oil changes and kept a close watch on all fluid levels and belt wear.

This Nova got me back and forth to Dusty Flats to work...and see more of Emily.

Emily spent the weekdays with her aunt in uncle in the city while she attended junior college. On weekends, she'd go back home to Dusty Flats.

That began the uneasy transition of getting to know Emily better.

Since I had to go to Dusty Flats at 1pm on Fridays and because she didn't have a car, they asked if I could take her to and from the city. They promised to cover gas expenses, but Uncle Willie kept my car filled up anyhow. In fact, it was a few years before I ever bought a tank of gas. The pay wasn't great at the market, but the free gas was a great perk...along with his stash of Playboy magazines in the back of the store...along with other pictures. More about that later.

I was now faced with the task of making meaningful conversation with Emily. I first tried to mask it by playing country music on the radio and singing along with the lyrics, but then the news and weather reports would come on and Emily would start talking to me.

I wasn't sure how much she liked me. She was never rude, but she also never made a strong effort to get to know me.

I knew she had a boyfriend during her last two years of high school. I had met him. Stan seemed like a decent guy, although he seemed kind of effeminate. I suspected that he might be more into guys, and later those suspicions were proven right.

However, Emily saw him as safe. He never tried to get her clothes off. He never showed her much physical attention other than holding her hand.

She met Jake in junior college. He was kind of a jerk and she learned that she was nothing but another notch on his bedpost.

I didn't realize how self-effacing she was until I took time to finally talk to her coming home from the city one September afternoon. She was in her final year at JC while I was still a freshman.

"What are you plans after JC?" I managed to stammer out of my clumsy mouth.

"Well, dad just wanted me to get my AA degree so I'd have an educational accomplishment. Since he works in the oilfields, he knows a lot of people out there. He's hoping to get me on in one of the field offices. It's not great pay, but it's full time hours and good benefits."

"What are your plans? You never say much to me. Even Amy doesn't know much about your plans and she talks to you a lot more than I do."

Damn. That was a question that I couldn't just answer with a yes, no, or shrug of the shoulders. Somehow, I clumsily tried to explain my course.

"It's hard to say, Emily. I've always wanted to get into the family counseling field. So many kids are now coming from broken homes. I wonder if their parents had any kind of intervention or counseling if it would have made a difference."

"The problem is, the cost of tuition. The university has a good program, but as long as Uncle Willie lets me work for him, I can save enough to get through...along with a student loan, of course."

Emily laughed. I wasn't sure why.

"For someone who doesn't talk a lot, you're looking at a job where you'd need to talk a lot. I found that kind of funny."

How could I be mad at her? At least when I was around her, I certainly didn't exude a lot of confidence and ability to hold a conversation.

"I don't know. Maybe being around someone you don't know and they don't know you. Maybe I can just be what I've trained to be. I'd have the confidence to speak plainly. I'm not sure, but that's the best I can come up with."

"I don't know," Emily said. "Sometimes I got the feeling that you didn't really like me that much, for whatever reason. I know I'm not the prettiest or best built girl out there, but I am a good person. Dang, you've known me for several years and you've probably said more in a few minutes riding in your car than you have your whole life to me."

"I know I have some baggage that some guys don't want, but you almost seem to avoid me like I'm contagious or something.

I felt bad. That hurt. The fact that she somehow believed that I didn't like her bothered me. It bothered me even more that she thought it might have something to do with her appearance. Also, baggage? What kind of baggage could a 19-year old girl have?

"You've gotta be kidding me?" I exclaimed with surprise. "Seriously? A knockout like you? You're beautiful."

I couldn't believe that I had the balls to say that to her face. I embarrassed myself as well as her.

"Really, Adam? And you've waited this long to tell me?"

I tried to determine if she was mad at me or happy with me. Maybe she was still in shock.

"Well, you're one year older. You had boyfriends in high school and even last year in college. Also, I never thought you'd be interested in me. I'm not exactly leading man material."

I was too hard on myself, to be fair. I'm nearly 6 feet tall with wavy blonde hair. I have a slightly stocky build, especially my broad shoulders and chest. Some have asked if I ever played football or lifted weights, but I'd never done either.

It got quiet in the car. I wasn't sure what to say next. We were about 5 miles from Dusty Flats when Emily broke the silence.

"You know, your folks are coming over this weekend for a cookout and ice cream. Maybe we can spend some time alone talking some more. Maybe take a walk once it gets dark. I can even stay over and sleep on the porch again."

I liked all of those ideas. I had no idea what I'd learn that night from Emily, but it changed my world. No, we didn't have sex that night. It was something far more important.

I closed up the market at 6pm so Uncle Willie could go home and get the barbeque going. By 8:30, we had enjoyed some delicious barbequed chicken, some of Mom's awesome potato salad, and Aunt Mary's semi-spicy chili beans. She put just enough cayenne pepper in it to make a person want to keep a full glass of iced tea nearby.

Of course, later in the evening as we're all laying on the wooden porch, the inevitable passing of gas and the guys laughing about it while the girls plugged their noses in disgust. Yes, this was typical country life and cheap (and juvenile) small town humor.

After it got completely dark, Emily and I snuck out and took a long walk down the lengthy street. The street lights were very few and very dim. Once we were about 200 feet from the house, not a soul could see us.

We told my mother we were going for a walk and mom raised her eyebrows at me as if to wonder why I was walking alone with Emily. She promised to let Emily's parents know if they asked.

We walked as far as Emily's house and sat together on a wide swing that was suspended from a long, sturdy tree branch. It wasn't anything fancy, just a 4 foot long piece of 1x6 wood knotted on each end and tethered to the tree. Again, this was the kind of ingenuity we practiced. Why waste money at Sears on a fancy swing when this one worked just as well?

"Seriously, Adam? You thought I was too pretty or hot for you? My vanity would love to believe that, but my reality says that's bull shit. What's the real reason you've avoided me?"

I didn't know what to say. I HAD told her the truth.

"I'm dead serious Emily," I said, trying to be as convincing as possible. It was the truth, but I still worked hard to sound more convincing.

"At this point, if it were anything else, I would have been comfortable enough to say it. You never seemed to show any special interest in me, other than being polite to me. I never sensed any kind of sign that you had any interest. Maybe that one year of difference in our ages isn't that important, but I believed it was to you."

"I mean, why would someone so pretty and so sweet that's a full grade ahead of me in school want to do with a nerdy kind of guy like me?"

Emily laughed. "Nerdy? That's funny. I never thought of you as nerdy. Quiet, maybe, but not nerdy. Socially awkward maybe, but not nerdy. I'm sorry for laughing at you, but to me that is really funny.

"Really?" I argued. "As funny as thinking that I didn't find you attractive at all? I'm still having trouble accepting that one.

"I know better now," she said with relief. "Imagine where we'd be right now if we had just talked to one another more over the years. Of course, I can't take the blame for that. I would have talked your ear off if you let me."

She was right. I was the one that had shielded myself from her. It seemed like such foolishness now as we sat on swing and kept talking.

"I mean, Adam, maybe if I'd been able to talk to you more, some of this other shit wouldn't have happened..."

Her voice began to weaken. It sounded as though she was trying to avoid crying.

"I mentioned baggage to you earlier. I'm not sure how much you know."

"About what?" I asked, genuinely curious about the sudden change of pace of our conversation.

"Jake," she said quietly. "Good-looking guy. I thought I really liked him. I thought he was crazy over me. Turns out that all he wanted was a couple romps in bed."

"The first time was painful and miserable, but I did it to please him. I had been told the first time was rough and it was."

"The second time was better but I didn't enjoy it. Then, I got pregnant..."

Again her voice trailed off. She took several seconds to regain her composure.

"His family had a lot of money and offered to pay for an abortion and my parents would never have to know. I wasn't ready for a baby, but I could not in good conscience abort a baby."

"Turns out, Mother Nature had other plans. I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks. Hardly anyone other than my parents knew I was pregnant. Not my aunt and uncle that I lived with during the week, not Amy, not anyone."

"The problem is, once in the hospital, the GYN doctor examined me and broke the bad news to me..."

Again, she took time to get composed.

"Let's just say my baby-maker was very defective. I'd never be able to carry a child to full term. He suggested that I get a tubal ligation to prevent any further pregnancies."

"So, my baggage? I'm not a virgin and I can't give a deserving man any children. I can understand if you're not interested anymore. It's a real kick in the gut to my pride."

I listened intently, carefully trying to measure my words to respond to her.

"Well, it's not like it's something you could control, right? It's just an abnormality. I'm sure it hurts to know, but any guy that wouldn't want you because of that isn't the kind of guy you need to have anyhow."

She immediately reached over to hug me. She was crying.

"For someone who hasn't said much to me over the years, you seem to know the right things to say when it matters."

She held on for a long time. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but her head was on my shoulder and I could feel the moisture from her tears soaking through my t-shirt.

"How long do you think we can be gone before the adults start looking for us?" asked Emily.

"Adults? We're adults also. I don't usually ask for permission to do anything anymore. I do give the courtesy of letting them know where I'm going and what time I expect to be back. I've been responsible since I've turned 18 and kept my word."

"Maybe it's because I'm a girl, my parents are more protective. Hopefully, they'll be fine as long as they know I'm with you and where we are."

Again, she held me in a tight embrace. "Thank you for tonight, Adam. Our parents don't exactly have their shit together either, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, there.

No, I didn't know what she was talking about. She soon noticed the confused expression on my face.

"Oh shit," she exclaimed. "You know, our parents. Switching partners? Especially your parents and your aunt and uncle."

Suddenly a flood of moments flashed into my mind. I had seen some things over the years but never made the assumption that it was anything revealing.

Yes, I had noticed my uncle placing his hand on my mom's ass. I noticed Dad kissing Aunt Mary on the lips.

Dad appeared to be quite affectionate with Emily's mother, Staci. I had observed both of them pat the other on the ass and had seen them exchange a kiss on the lips a few times.

Emily told me once about Uncle Willie coming over one day and walking up behind her mother and placing his hands directly on her boobs. Emily pretended to not notice and her mother admonished him about showing more discretion when others are around.

In fact, Uncle Willie was the least discreet of the group. It was almost as if he didn't care who saw him. While the other 5 attempted to conceal their "behind closed doors" behavior, Uncle Willie was much more careless.

Over the period of many years, though, it was inevitable that they would let down their guard.

"Come in the house with me," Emily said, motioning towards the front door. "I'll show you something that will blow your mind."

I obediently followed her inside. She walked towards her parent's bedroom. I wasn't sure what she had in mind.

"First of all, this discovery was quite innocent. I came into my parent's bedroom several months ago to borrow some of my mom's perfume. I saw part of a sock sticking out of my dad's sock drawer and simply went over and opened the drawer to fit the full sock inside."

"By the way, if you tell anyone about what I'm showing you, I swear I'll never talk to you for the rest of my life. Nobody else knows that I know about this."