Emily's Home - Ginger's Out Ch. 01

"Yeah, she's great. We're meeting right after work to look at a few places. Thank you so much. How are things with Janet and the kiddos?" He smiled. Good guy. Really he is. I throbbed deliciously thinking of Lily.

George, Tammy, Jenny -- each of them thought of me as Mrs. Bill Rogers. I am Ginger Butler -- lesbian. Oh god! Oh GOD! Am I really? You just said you are. Were you lying? Pregnant pause - Me: shaking my head no. Okay then.

When Lily and I were in her office, I said, "Lily, my name is Emily Sue Rogers. My nickname, to some, is Ginger. I didn't even really know I called myself that when we spoke the other day." I was so earnest and sincere I didn't even notice the smile.

"Do you honest to god know how cute you are?" With a soft laugh, "I've known since yesterday morning honey. It's all good. In fact, it's very good. Even though you and 'asshole' have shared most of your credit history, you have a few retail cards and a bank card in your name and they are all in good standing. You're good to go for a mortgage." Oh my god. Angels were singing. She smirked. "Let's get through this, then ..." We both laughed. She showed me several properties -- some online, some on site. After dinner, we saw a few more. There was a very cute house in Huber Heights; two bedrooms, two baths. I wondered about the extra bedroom but it was reasonably priced, bank owned, and Lily was very convincing. She was sure she could negotiate something favorable. I shrugged and told her to give it a whirl.

Whirl? I was on an endorphin and lust-filled ride and I whirled. Oh my god ... we whirled! Lily left my place very late and very liquid. You go me. Sorry for skipping the details on our lovemaking.

If you don't mind I'm going to talk a little bit about what's been going on in my mind. I was married for a long time. In the beginning we were very good. He was handsome and good in bed. In truth, I was so young when we married I hadn't had a lot to compare him to. Over the years, he got promoted, which meant we moved several times. Kids? That was a problem. At first I got tested seven ways from Sunday. Bill resisted, initially, the request to test the motility (are they good swimmers?) of his sperm. It turned out we both had just enough 'issues' that it made him impregnating me nearly impossible. While I wasn't thrilled, I did love him and the sex was still very good. Bill? Umm, he didn't take the news very well. I'm sure that was one major reason we wound up divorcing. We moved a few more times, which is how we wound up in Ohio. It felt like he was taking opportunities to travel and he wasn't as ardent in wanting me as the years went on. Sorry if I'm being vague. It's not real easy to talk about. I was faithful. I had stopped thinking about whether he was. Julia? No, I had never given thought to being with a woman. It was a weekend full of loving. Then Monday and again today -- there was a bit of a 'kid in the candy store' thing going on. A part of me was astonished at me. A part of me (gotta be honest) was embarrassed. And yes, another part of me was humming with excitement and pleasure.

All of this ran through my mind as I lay in bed, late, after Lily left. I sighed. I had no idea what the future held. I only knew I was ... hmm. Nora was good with me. Julia thought I was cute. Lily? She's cute and she's nice; beyond that, I don't know. I'm just going to keep this a day at a time for right now. One thing I was going to do Thursday was contact the lawyer and find out what's going on. Kiss me, Julia, as I fall asleep. She shook her head.

I was tired when I woke up Thursday but I was in very good spirits. My late, late night talk left me feeling good about myself. Does that make sense? Good. I stopped at a little restaurant I frequent on occasion and had breakfast. Emmy! Geez. I still had the check with her phone number on it. Julia was about my age; so is Lily. Emmy? She is very young. I needed to think about that.

Work was really busy. There's a new campaign we were working on. It's harrowing, fun, and frustrating. But it's what I do. It does make the hours fly by and yes, I did make sure I took time to buzz my legal beagle.

"Let's get this done, Kyle." I told him about the house that Lily wanted to write up an offer on. There was a long silence. "What?" If there's some sort of problem I need to know.

"Emily, Bill doesn't want to give you any money. There aren't any kids, he's claiming he put all the money up for the down payment and makes all the payments. Excuse my language but he's being an asshole." I was in the little conference room with the door closed. I stood up; I was enraged. Mother fuc ... Damn him!

"Kyle Watson, that son of a bitch changed the locks on OUR house. He cleaned out every last cent on OUR joint accounts. I'm lucky to have credit cards that work. I have a job -- but I want some goddamn money from the son of a bitch. He's fucking some young bimbo. I'm not taking no for an answer mister!! If you aren't good enough, I'll find someone who is." Light up his ego; low blow, whatever. I sat back down and waited.

"So what do you want, Emily?" He was pissed. Whatever.

"I want my things. I want my kitchen stuff, my jewelry, one of the televisions, I want my ... I want ..." Oh god; I started crying. Shit, shit, shit. Brown eyes blazed. Yeah, okay Julia. I cleared my throat. "I want this over, and I want at least a couple hundred thousand -- in cash. I want that jerk out of my life and SOON!" I screamed that last word. "Get it done, Kyle. It can't be that complicated. Just ... soon, please."

More silence. At least he had parameters to work from. "Okay, let me get back to you."

"When?" Not gonna let him 'lawyer' me. I wanted specifics.

"Umm, it's Thursday. I'll call him today and tell him I want to hear from him by Monday. I'll call you after I hear from him." Good. That works.

"Fine. Thank you, Kyle. Talk to you Monday." The call ended quickly. I sat and stewed. I'm not vindictive by nature but I felt betrayed. I had been. Oh well, back to work. As I worked, there was a little conversation going on in the deepest recesses of my mind. Why was it that Julia had gotten me back on track? Yup, that was odd. Not Nora, not Jenny, not my Dad. Hmm. Get to work on that one, subconscious! We need a report soon.

Tammy asked if I wanted to go out to lunch. That sounded really good. I'm going to tell her. We ordered. She wanted a Reuben and fries; I ordered a bacon swiss burger with fries. After the drinks had been served, I started. "So I called the lawyer this morning. Asshole is living up to his name. The realtor thinks she can get me a decent contract on a house in Huber Heights." My heart was pounding. "I had an affair with someone this weekend." Tammy's head jerked up. I took a sip of my Coke, looked at her and said, "Her name is Julia. It was a surprise, Tammy, and I liked it - a lot!" Okay, that's two. At first she was pale. I mean white on white. She dropped her eyes and wouldn't look at me. "She's married; they're very much in love. I think it was a surprise for her too. She was so cute; she wanted to call her sweetie first."

Tammy finally spoke. "I had an affair with a girl in college. Then my Jeffrey came along. I never forgot, not in all these years. I never told anyone. You're so beautiful, Emmy." Oh my god! "I can imagine a woman coming on to you." She whispered, saying, "I've wanted to -- for years." She turned bright red. "I can't though. With the kids, Jeffrey, I just can't." She cried. The food was served. The guy looked at me; I shook my head. I cut my burger and took a bite.

I was going to wait and let Tammy get whatever she wanted to say out. She finally brought her eyes up to meet mine. I smiled brightly. "Are you mad at me, Emmy?"

"Of course not, Tammy, why would I be? Surprised? Yeah, but only about you and me. I'm hardly one to judge, especially after the weekend I had." She looked so relieved I thought she might cry again. "Eat something Tammy; let's talk while we eat. Tell you a secret?" I giggled. "Julia called me Ginger -- for my hair. I liked that. It was wonderful, Tammy ... I mean really, really wonderful."

She smiled a bit. "I'm not uncomfortable talking about this Em. I guess I was surprised."

I laughed, "You and me both kiddo. You wanna be really surprised?" I smiled; she stared. "The realtor, who is trying to find me a place to live ... she, umm, came on to me. I've been with her twice." Tammy laughed; so did I. "I don't know about the future. I feel sexy, very feminine, really good. I've used the word lesbian in my head." She stared, shocked. "Am I? I don't know. I'm just going to let life happen. Lily, the realtor, told me the joke about bisexual meaning your weekends are always full." More laughs. "I guess that's the bottom line. I honestly don't know." Another bite of my burger and a few fries, then, "I'm glad I told you. Nora, my BFF, knows. You're the only other one." I smiled again.

"Wow; thank you. I won't say anything, Em, hone ..." I raised my hand and stopped her.

"Tammy, here's the deal. I'm not putting an ad in the Dayton Daily News but I'm not hiding it either. And, like I said, I simply don't know. Oh my god, I so totally forgot. Julia writes on a pretty famous website that publishes erotica. I had read one of her stories. It was fabulous. We had a good laugh about it." Tammy gawked. I wrote the name of the website, the title of the story, and Julia's nom de plume, on a napkin. "Have some fun honey; Jeffrey will love you for it. When I read Julia's story ..." I leaned in and whispered, "I fucked asshole like I hadn't in a long, long time." I winked; we giggled. "In fact, Julia teased me about it. She said that the characters in the story could serve as a kind of tutorial in lovemaking between women." Oh my god, that did it! The two of us couldn't stop laughing. We had to kind of hurry through the rest of our food. We paid, left, and headed back. The rest of the day flew by.

At home, after dinner, I looked online for bars, clubs and the like that catered to lesbians. I was going to do something this weekend; I just didn't know what. I settled in with a glass of liquid courage and called Jenny. We're adults, right. We have always had this thin thread of tension -- big sister, little sister. I loved her without reservation. As much as a big sister can love her bratty little sister. Just kidding Jen!! I snickered.

Her daughter Megan answered, bubbly like you'd expect from a high school senior. After exchanging greetings, she hollered, "Mom, it's Auntie Em." Oh god ... 'The Wizard of Oz!' Did she even know?

"Hi Jen, how's things?" I don't know ... she has a family. There are those days I wonder how my life would have been if Bill and I had kids. She gave me the update in short hand. That was the good thing about sisters. You can say things a certain way and both of us knew exactly what was being said. Eventually, she asked what was up with me. I took a sip.

"Jen, umm, I had an affair last weekend in Arizona. There was this seminar. She saw me in a restaurant." I heard the gasp. "Her name is Julia, she's married. She and her wife live in Chicago. She was in town for her company's weekend event. It was fabulous honey." I started crying; she's my sister. "She was amazing. I never knew, never dreamed, and it was unbelievable. We made love all weekend. She let me ... lead." I was crying harder now; the words came in gasps. "I don't know Jen. I never, ever dreamed ... but she is, was, so gorgeous. She called her wife with pangs of conscience. We spent time in her Jacuzzi, had dinner in the room, the sex ... oh my god."

"Emily Sue!!"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you crying?" I sobbed uncontrollably. I don't know. Why am I? Relief? Joy? My sister?

"Daddy and Mom -- I don't know. There's only me and you now. Asshole? He's off fucking whatever her name is. It's just me and you, kid. I ... Nora knows and I just had to call. I don't know if you approve but I needed to tell you." I sniffled. "I called a realtor Monday; her name is Lily. She thinks she might have found a house I can afford. I've been with her twice -- Monday and yesterday. I don't know what to do, Jen, I'm ... it's just ... I feel lost and I feel so wonderful. I was so lonely for so long. Julia made me feel so sexy, so desirable. I don't know Jen; I'm a mess."

"You had another? After you came back?" Her voice was ... I couldn't put my finger on it. "Are you ... umm." David must be nearby. I knew what she was asking.

"Jen, I don't know. I've said the word lesbian to myself and I'm pretty okay with it. But honestly, I don't know. The realtor is bi and she's fabulous." I couldn't help it; I giggled. I heard my sister sigh. No, kiddo, I don't get it either. And no, you're right. It's totally not like me. "You're right Jen. I can hear it in your sigh. You don't understand; me either." I told her about my 'name change.' That got her laughing; she understood about me taking my maiden name. "Is David around or can you talk."

"Oh, I'm out on the back porch. I told him it was you and that you needed to talk. I'll make something up." Sisters! "So, what's going on? What's in your future? Do you know?" Practical Jennifer -- hmm.

So tell her. "I looked online tonight for bars and clubs. I'll check them out over the weekend. I'm curious I guess. Am I giving up on men? No. But someone is going to have to knock me over, and, after asshole, that won't be easy." We both chuckled at that. "When I got home Sunday I had dinner at a little diner. There was this young, cute waitress. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her. I went into work Monday and ... everything seemed different. It was ... it was me." The words poured from me now. "I have to slow down, Jen. I know that and I will. But it's like the kid in the candy store. Ya know?"

"Honestly? No. But yeah, kind of." Okay! "Where do things stand with you and Bill?"

I told her about my conversation with the lawyer. She sighed; I could see her shaking her head. "Don't worry honey. I'm not going to let that jackass get over on me ... not after what he did to me." She blew out a breath in relief.

"Good Em; I'm glad to hear you say it out loud. I've been worried." Geez. Sisters. I smiled.

"Thank you. I was nervous to tell you, Jen. What you think matters honey. I hope you know that." Oh god, she's crying. "Please, please kiddo, I'll be okay. I'm ... I'm way more than okay. Just a little confused. Maybe we can plan to spend a weekend together -- here?" It was a question wrapped in hopeful begging. She knew.

"Let me do some stuff with the calendar, David, and the kids, okay? I'll be in touch soon." I felt the smile. Oh good!

"Thank you Jen. I can't even begin to say it all." My eyes filled, I shook my head. I knew she knew. We said our goodbyes. I sighed as I clicked off the cell phone. I was drained. It had been a long, exhausting, wonderful day and night. The journey had barely begun. Heart's 'Secret.' No, Julia is in Chicago with her wife. My secret was out ... so was I, kind of. I had begun a journey. Where? I had no clue -- yet. I am okay with that. I think so, anyway.

After pouring one last glass of wine I sat in the chair, thinking. Writing now, I can't even recall them all -- there were so many different thoughts buzzing around in one direction or another. Biggest accomplishments: telling Nora and Jen. Biggest worries overcome. Nora is so rock-solid I wasn't really worried about telling her. Jen? She's my sister. If she had, she could have destroyed me and I knew it. I knew we would talk more, a lot more, when she came to see me. I had a feeling that would be soon. I tamped down the urge to call Lily. I did call her -- name, that is -- when I used the vibe and my fingers to get me off several times. I drifted off and slept. Fitfully.

Friday! I'm weird. First thing I thought of after waking up was that I needed to buy new underwear. Go ahead and laugh. I did. Heck, I did, again, typing the words. What the hell! Ginger needed sexy new undies. Weekend stuff among other things. Maybe do some shopping at lunch time -- if I'm going out tonight. I stood under the shower. Yeah, I'm going out tonight. I needed to hold on to the soap dish handle as the spend shook me to my core. Eyes that gazed at me in the mirror were soft and glowed with pleasure. Green is the color of the day - eye shadow, blouse, panties and bra. Black slacks. I left an extra button open on the blouse. Hot mama!! I blushed combing my hair. Yeesh.

Coffee sat on my desk as I turned on my computer. I confess -- I wondered if there would be an email from Julia. Nope. Shrug. It's okay, really. I hope they will be happy together for a long time. I smiled. The morning zipped along rather quickly. Just before lunch an email showed up from Lily. Wet. She had talked to the bank, felt it had gone well, and wanted to talk to me. I'll think about that when I go out for lunch. I asked Tammy if she wanted to go shopping. She blushed when I told her where. I laughed. We had a grand time. She gawked at what I bought. Sexy Ginger! No, Tammy didn't come into the changing room. I did wonder if she thought about it. NO I didn't buy thongs. I'm 47 -- no!!

Tammy was hysterical laughing at my story about asshole. With a name like Rogers, what do you think he doesn't own? Yup, sweaters! If you really want to piss him off, call him Fred. Wink. The afternoon buzzed by. Yeah, I had to think about that before writing it.

I didn't want to risk doing this at work -- I waited till I got home to go online again and look for places to hang out over the weekend. An email reminder from Jiffy Lube; I need an oil change. Definitely not a lube job. Oh my goodness!! I had to fan myself. The L Room. Their MySpace page? Zowie! I had a very nice tingle goin' on reading that!

Nora! I called her. "Do we know anyone who's gay? Like me, I mean." She choked on whatever she was drinking. Sorry, kiddo. No? Damn. She asked why I was asking. "I found this place that seems like a bar and dance club. I wanted to check it out tonight." I also told her I bought a bunch of sexy new underwear.

She laughed and said, "Good for you honey. I'm proud of you. Do you want me to come with tonight?"

"Oh my god, Nora, I can't ask you to do that."

"Of course you can honey. I'm your BFF, not your lover."

"Yeah, I know, but..."

"Okay, I'll be at your place at 8:30."

"Nooo! You don't have to."

"I know, I get it, but you said there was dancing. We both love to dance and it's been a while. Why not?"

I sighed. "Oh all right." Good grief, now look what you've done, Ginger. Your best friend is going to a lez club with you. Maybe I should have asked Tammy. Hmm. I called Nora back.

"Honey, come now; bring clothes. We can go have dinner and come back and change." I would have told her she could stay the night but not in this little shit box.

She said, "Okay. I'll bring a few outfits and we'll doll up together. Oh god, this is gonna be a fun night." Lube job? She'll laugh so hard. Maybe I could take her toy shopping. That got me giggling. I had nearly asked Tammy but thought that might be a bit much, especially after what I had just shared with her.

Nora showed up just after 6:30 pm. I told her about Jiffy Lube. She nearly ran the car off the road. "Don't do that to me when I'm driving Ginger." Yippee, she called me Ginger. The Friday night special at the restaurant was jumbo shrimp dinner. That sounded good -- we each ordered it. We laughed at the notion of jumbo shrimp. Is that like 'AOL inches?'

"Oh by the way, how's your love life Nora?"

She laughed, saying, "Not nearly as good as yours girl friend." I blushed. She had me with that one.