Emily's Home - Ginger's Out Ch. 08

"I think you're right." She paused; I knew what was coming. I really didn't want to hear it.

"Lily, let's not go there okay. You're seeing someone; I'm very happy with Reenie. And for the record, I'm starting again with Kathy Thursday evening. So we're all doing well. Let's just treat this like a business transaction for all of our sakes. Please!" I saw the tears. I had to dig my nails into my palm and think of the blue eyes and red hair that were waiting for me. "Thank you for bringing me here. I'm very comfortable with this place and look forward to getting the paperwork done tomorrow. Let's get going, shall we?" We agreed on a time for Wednesday, shook hands, and left.

I hope that didn't come across like I'm a cold hearted bitch. I'm obviously not. I just didn't want to rehash old stuff. What happened is in the past. Look, my 'record' here isn't exactly clean either. Nora happened when Lily and I were just beginning to get beyond the 'romp in the hay' stage. And yeah, Reenie ... oh my god, yeah Reenie! Saying her name makes my heart beat a little faster. Isn't it fabulous? I know I think so. I know it's too early to think about us living together, but you heard me describe that house as if we already were. I was smiling about that thought and others as I pulled in to the parking lot. I headed to the room.

Apparently I was dinner - or at least an appetizer. We lay together, breathless and sated. My red headed minx had been waiting for me, her glorious naked self on the bed. She beckoned me with a 'come hither' finger. Reenie's moth can't resist her flame. I shivering as the dew cooled and thought of how wonderfully I had been taken. My minx introduced a new toy, hers apparently, a soft plastic double dildo. After taking me with her mouth and fingers she slid the dildo in each of us, lifted my legs, and showed me a variation of tribbing I was unfamiliar with. It was frantically delicious, it left me breathless, fully filled and fulfilled, completely satisfied, and fumbling for words to adequately describe it all.

She lay, hand on head, smiling proudly, running her fingers lightly over still quivering flesh. Feather soft -- that was the torture and pleasure as her fingers moved everywhere on my body. She ran her fingers over one breast, lingering on a nipple, the taut flesh still hard and high, circling, teasing, idly. She circled the outer limits of the breast, top, side, bottom, inside. Her fingers stopped. My eyes were closed. I felt the pressure of her fingers change. She pressed an area on my right breast, just inside the valley. I opened my eyes to find concern in hers.

"I do this every month when my period starts. That makes it easy to remember." Shit, it's due any day too. "What is it, a lump?" Her eyes filled and her chin quivered. She hadn't moved her hand from the spot. She reached across, took my hand with the one that had been under her head and brought it to the spot where her fingers were. I did the manipulations, pressing even more firmly than she had. I felt myself go pale. I saw it in her eyes: stark, cold fear. It's not very big but it's a lump. I felt it move when I pressed on it. I couldn't get my fingers around it. It kept moving. I didn't know what it was but it wasn't there before. Oh my god.

I bolted from the bed and found my phone, my ob/gyn and pressed send. I got the answering service. "My name is Emily Rogers. I'm a patient. Please have the doctor call me. I ... I need to speak to her. It's important." They took my name and number. I turned to Reenie. "I couldn't even bring myself to say it out loud, Reenie. How can this be?" She came and held me. We were both crying, naked, having just made love. Dinner would wait. It would be a sleepless night. Sobbing, I begged her to stay the night. It may be nothing or ... not.

The phone rang. "This is Dr. Baran. Hi Emily, you called the service. What's going on? Is something wrong?" I was crying. I handed the phone to Reenie.

"Doctor, my name is Maureen Henry. I'm a friend of Gin ... Emily's. We just found what we believe to be a small lump on the inside of her right breast. We found it quite by accident. She said it wasn't there last month when she did her exam." Reenie listened and made a motion for a pen. I hurried to my purse, got my notepad and pen and opened it for her. She wrote: '10 am tomorrow.' I nodded. "Thank you doctor. She'll see you tomorrow. Thank you, you too."

"I'm being promoted. I'm supposed to sign papers to rent the house tomorrow. I have a session with Kathy Thursday. I can't do this. I can not be sick. Oh Reenie, what do I do?"

Her voice was strong, "We get dressed and have dinner Ginger. We go to the L Room afterward, dance, have a couple of drinks, and come home and make love. Tomorrow will come." I was trembling, shaking my head. She took my face in her hands and waited till my eyes met hers. "I love you. We'll go together. We'll find out what's going on. Now let's get dressed." She kissed me softly. I guess this is what they mean when they say 'be strong for you.' She was being my strength when I needed emotional support.

We dressed and headed out. Reenie drove. I was numb with fear. I'm not sure I can tell you what I wore. What should have been a night of celebration was something very different. "Reenie, I'm not very hungry. Let's just go to the club okay." She looked at me. "Please."

She nodded, pulled out her phone, called the club, "Candy, yeah, it's Reenie. Order a pizza please. No, large this time. Yeah, we'll be there in about ten minutes. Thanks honey."

"Honey?" Reenie laughed out loud. "Thank you Reenie." She took my hand, brought it to her lips, kissed it and held it to her cheek. She's my heart. We would make it through whatever was inside me and we would make a life together. No need to rush anything. She pulled into the lot. We kissed and headed inside. Candy hugged and kissed us both. I headed to our table and sat down. Tonight the throb of the music was a welcome distraction. Candy and Reenie were talking, or actually, Candy was doing most of the talking. The pizza came. Candy paid the delivery dude. The two of them came with plates, spices, napkins and drinks. Candy sat down across from me.

"Ginger, do you know anything about fibrocystic masses?" I looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language and shook my head. She nodded. "I have them and so does my sister. They're scary as hell. I'm not a doctor but it's possible that this could be nothing too serious. Reenie mentioned your period is due any day. Is that right?"

"Yeah it is." She nodded.

"Be sure to mention that to your doctor tomorrow. Do you have my cell number on your phone?" I shook my head. I handed her my phone. She opened it and put in her name and number. "Obviously you know Reenie has it ... so call if you need to okay?" Her kiss was soft and brief. She smiled and headed back to the bar.

"Wow Ginger, she really likes you." I took a piece of pizza, ate it in two bites, and downed my drink. Reenie stared at me. I inhaled another piece of pizza. I looked at Reenie.

"It just dawned on me that I didn't have lunch today. After George talked to me about the promotion I called my sister from the conference room. I'm starving." I told Reenie about the meeting with Lily. I wanted her opinion. "Was I too hard on her? I want this to be strictly business. Did I do okay?" My cop looked at me. "Reenie, at least one of the skills required to do what you do is conflict resolution. You know exactly what and why I'm asking."

I held up my beer bottle. Candy smiled. I turned to Reenie and waited. "No, I think what you said was a little rough but it was okay. Actually, I probably would have been a lot harder on her than you were. I was pretty surprised when you told me you were going to let her broker the deal for you." I shrugged and ate another slice.

"It was a conscious decision on my part. It was one of the things I thought about on vacation. I needed to resolve and put some things behind me in order to move forward. May your spider spin you a web about our future home?" I batted my eyelashes. Candy heard that as she brought my drink.

"You two are moving in together? Oh my god, we have to have a party when you do!!" I grabbed Candy's wrist.

"Hush you. No, it's too soon yet. I'm signing a lease tomorrow. But that is not for our adoring public." Candy and Reenie both laughed at my characterization. "It has two bedrooms, two bath rooms, a fabulous kitchen and a great patio and a hot tub." Candy gawked, Reenie stared. I shrugged. "Given the state of real estate today I'm getting a pretty good deal." I looked directly at Reenie when I said this. "The six month lease will give me time to decide if this is right for ... us." I smiled, Candy smiled, Reenie kissed me.

"You two are the definition of cute. Ginger, I'm sure this is a scary night but try to enjoy how much others are reveling in your relationship. There aren't many here tonight but word is spreading about the two of you." She smiled at both of us.

I looked at Reenie. "Are you cute?"

Reenie replied, "Are you cute?" We both shrugged and looked at Candy, who was laughing.

"Candy, did my redhead tell you what she did the night I came home?" Her eyes got wide. I laughed. "Yeah, but that was after the surprise." Reenie blushed. "I was on my way to get my luggage. There was a limo driver with a sign. I almost missed it ... uh, her. The minx had her hair up under a hat. She had me fooled until I saw her smile." Candy looked at a blushing Reenie, who shrugged. "My minx told me she had to work so I was prepared to take a cab. Not only did she surprise me at the airport but the room was lit with candles and there was a red rose on the pillow."

Candy stared at Reenie. There was something in that look that spoke of surprise. She looked at me and blushed. She knew I knew what that stare was about -- something from their past. It was my turn to step up. "Candy, everybody has a past. I know you're happy for us so let it go." I reached for another piece of not so hot pizza and stuffed it in my mouth. They both stared at me. "What? I'm hungry. I didn't have lunch. I got promoted."

Candy knocked the chair over when she stood up and screamed, "Oh my god, you got a promotion? You bitch. You waited this long to tell me." The few that were in the place were looking, wide eyed. I snickered.

"Chill out chickie. It just happened today. Yeah, talk about your surprises. I've been given my boss's job. He will still be my boss but he's moving up the ladder. So perhaps you'll understand if we have to leave ... as in soon." I leaned over to kiss Reenie who was blushing like a virgin bride -- as if! Well, bride, maybe; virgin, as if.

God bless them both, somehow they had taken the focus off of me and made this night full of fun and laughter. I scarfed another piece of pizza, finished my drink, and looked at Reenie. Time to go! I needed a night of loving before my period and tomorrow. Candy and Reenie both seemed to understand the look. Candy took the pizza while Reenie and I prepared to head out. I didn't even bother to ask Candy about a bill. In the car, I lay my head back on the headrest. The next thing I knew we were at the motel. I staggered out of the car and we headed to the room.

Perfect timing ... as we walked in the room my period started. I scurried, cursing, to the bathroom. I cleaned up, padded up, and came to bed. Reenie had her turn and joined me. She held me as the tears flowed. The night had been more fun than I'd expected but in the dark, all the fear came back. She held me. Her strength fed mine. Body to body, my lover held me close and, in her arms, I slipped away to an uneasy sleep.

I woke up Wednesday with a distinct sense of dread. I was groggy and felt as though I hadn't slept well. Reenie looked at me with a mixture of love and concern. I was glad the appointment was early; having to wait till later would have been agony. Reenie suggested that we shower, dress for work, and get some breakfast. I understood her thinking. Keep moving; it would help keep my mind off my worries. The shower was wonderful. We took turns washing each others hair. Soapy hands were delightful. I had a little more freedom with mine and used it to good advantage. Breathless, she cursed and kissed me. I laughed (unwisely) at her threats of reprisal when my monthly visitor left.

After toweling off, drying our hair and the rest we dressed. It was already after eight. I called Tammy and told her I had a doctor's appointment and would be in late. She asked; I was evasive. Reenie had called in last night and let them know she was taking personal time for a few hours. Reenie hugged me tight when she kissed me. Dopey, but we needed to take two cars. Her job was unpredictable. I wasn't particularly hungry but that was nerves. I fought my way through bacon, eggs, and toast. The coffee was hot and strong. I was already way too wired; one cup was all.

Reenie was so good. She didn't force conversation. She sat next to me, disapproving eyes be damned. We have just as much right to be in love and be happy as you do. I fought back tears; her fingers tightened in mine. I would lead to the doctor's office in C'ville. Dr. Baran was a bit younger than me. I had followed her as she moved from place to place before opening her own practice. Everything I had seen her for in the past was routine, as was my late April appointment. She also didn't know about Ginger -- or Reenie. Reenie shrugged when I mentioned it. The bill was on the table. I left enough money to pay it, including a generous tip. It was only a five minute drive. We were early. You're not surprised.

I checked in with the receptionist. They took me in pretty quickly -- amazing, since I was a late addition. A clean gown was on the table. I took off my bra and sweater. The gowns are so flattering; no reason to tie the ties. Dr. Jennifer came in about ten excruciating minutes later. She had the good sense not to ask how I was. I was teetering on the edge of tears as it was. Sorry, the memory of all of it let loose a flood of tears as I type.

"Reenie, my girlfriend, found the lump with her fingers." I attempted a smile and explained, "Bill and I are divorced; it hadn't been a very good marriage for some time. I changed and went back to my maiden name. And one day while I was driving to work, a gorgeous Dayton police officer pulled me over for speeding. That's how we met; pretty funny huh?" Her smile was warm; it reached her understanding eyes.

I did my best to explain what I had found when I'd felt for the mass. "I couldn't keep it in my fingers." I told her about what Candy shared. She smiled. She asked about family history. "My mother died of complications from diabetes. My dad died from -- well, the death certificate said colon cancer, but my sister and I knew it was from a broken heart. My sister has no history. Oh, my period started late last evening." Dr. Baran nodded ... all the while she had been taking notes.

"Ginger, please take off the gown and lay back on the table." I did. "Can you locate the mass?" I found it; she brought her fingers to the area. I closed my eyes. I was surprised when she asked me to get dressed a short time later.

As I was dressing, she talked. "I want you to have a mammogram of course, but I think it's possible this is exactly what your friend described." She was very gentle as she spoke of my understandable emotions. "No Ginger, I won't give a definite yes or no. The mammogram comes first. I'd like to see you afterwards, later in the month. I'll call if an earlier appointment is warranted." She looked at me and smiled. "Would you like to bring Reenie in so I can explain it to her?" I said yes; I dashed and waved her in. I introduced my honey to my doctor. Dr. Baran was warm and gracious. She explained what she thought was going on, what she wanted to do, and what would happen between now and later in April.

Reenie nodded a lot but her eyes were on me. My smile was a little more ... solid? I felt better. I thanked Dr. Baran; she gave me a little, reassuring hug. She and Reenie shook hands. I handed the chart to the receptionist and mentioned my appointment late in April. She checked and nodded. Did I have the prescription for the mammogram? Yes. We left.

Reenie asked me on the elevator, "How are you feeling babe?"

"Cautiously optimistic Reenie; wouldn't it be a hoot if Candy was right?" We both smiled. "I know you just met her but I have complete trust in Dr. Baran."

"No, honey, I really like her a lot. She seems very caring and a straight shooter. I feel good about her being your doc." My cop the straight shooter!! That last said as we headed, hand in hand, to our cars. Reenie asked if I would be okay.

I smiled, kissed her hard. "I'm going to see Lily later and sign the contract. Does that answer the question?" A hundred watt smile was my answer. Finally, her eyes filled. It was my turn to hold her while she cried. She had waited until I was okay to let me know how worried she was ... is. She pulled herself together quickly.

"I promise I'll be okay. Please call when your shift is over." She said she would; we kissed, softly. The love in the kiss included a healthy dose of relief for each of us. Time to go; we headed to our respective jobs.

When I got off the elevator, Jodi looked at me with worry. I pointed to the conference room. I waved at Tammy to join us. I closed the door and gave them the short version of what happened. There were tears and hugs. Sadly, there are very few whose lives have not been touched by cancer. Jodi asked how I felt. I was still nervous but a lot more at ease. Does that sound silly? I see heads shaking. No? Oh good. Sometimes when you do what I'm doing you wonder what your audience is thinking and feeling as they read along with you. I hope all of this makes sense. It was a struggle to keep my emotions in check and write it as it happened. Thanks for understanding!!

I donate to several charities on a regular basis. I made a note to add the Susan G. Komen Foundation to the list. In fact, in my new capacity, I would notify them to check with P&G about matching donations. I laughed at my silliness. I couldn't be the first P&G woman to think of this but I would check.

I asked Tammy to join me for lunch. I needed to stop at my bank and have some money moved to my checking account to cover the check I was going to write to Lily. I also wanted to make sure that the air was clear with Tammy. I like her and I didn't want to lose her as a friend. I needed to make a stop in the washroom. (sigh) The bank was first. That only took a few minutes. We sat and chatted.

"Ginger, didn't this all happen kind of quickly?"

"Well yeah; actually we were in bed." Tammy blushed and smiled. "Stop me if this is too much. Her fingers were kind of roaming when she found something. It was pretty scary and didn't make for a very pleasant night."

I took this as my opportunity to chat about what was and what had to be. She was completely okay with it all; she understood. When she asked about my promotion I confessed to being completely surprised and overwhelmed. I wasn't totally comfortable telling her every little detail. There was, even if it was awkward, an invisible but tangible 'line in the sand.' I was a marginal athlete but you hear it all the time. There is a difference in moving one seat from assistant to head coach. Mine isn't a head coach position but the analogy isn't that far off. I also mentioned to Tammy that once I was in the house and had it furnished I'd like to have Tammy and her Jeffrey over for dinner.

I fidgeted all afternoon. There wasn't much to do and I didn't want to do it. I wanted to get to Lily's office, sign the papers, and be with my honey. I wandered around. The rest of our group were on the other side of George's office so we didn't have as much interaction with them. I made note of that and needed to figure out how everyone might fit into one ... oh, whatever. There were some warm eyes and expressions of congratulations. There were others that were cold. Duly noted. A friend told me long ago, business was often a zero sum game -- I win, you lose. It's icky but it is what it is.