En Dag Tilbagebyakbashev©
I got the idea for this story from a song by a Danish Rock/ Rap group, Nik & Jay. It didn't take me as long as any other story has ever taken...two weeks, a record for me and a good story. I read it over and over again, wondering if I should submit it and I have finally made the decision to release it, I know it's long but stick with it, it's full of honest love and all of that, not so much as sex but still a good one. If it makes you cry at the end or at least feel something, that's good because it made me, and I'm a tough guy. I took the girl's point of view, so you know it's going to have some good thought in it, and I'm just like that even though I usually take the guy's point of view. So, uh, enjoy it, leave some feedback and your e-mail address if you would like to discuss it or ask questions...good comments are welcome and bad well, whatever.
En Dag Tilbage (One Day Left)
What would you do if you had one day left? Well, if you were anything like my brother you would do everything...including your sister. My brother, Ben, was in and out of hospitals since he was seven years old. I never saw much of him except when he would come home on rare occasions to get another stuffed animal for comfort. I was honestly afraid of him, but he would always smile at me when he saw me, giving me the large grin with his bald head from all of the chemotherapy, the tubes sticking out of his nose made me imagine him as a monster, the deepening "HUH!" sound he would make every time he would take a breath only enhanced my imagination. I would try to help him when he was home and we would play together when we could, I went to go see him in the hospital only eight times out of his countless visits, everything made me uncomfortable. The smell of antiseptic, the smell of cleanliness, and the stark whiteness of that plain and sterile place. I told my parents, who said it was all right. I stayed home all the time and almost forgot I even had a brother.
When the doctor told him that almost all of the cancer was gone from his body, he came home excitedly, and tried to talk to me, but everything was still so uncomfortable, so I tried to avoid him. He celebrated his sixteenth birthday alone, just home from the hospital and hadn't made any friends that were out of the hospital, I watched from the fortress of my room as my parents cheered for him as he blew out his candles. I would emerge from my room only three times a day and all three times I was getting food. He didn't say anything when he saw me as if he knew my uneasiness around him, but soon his hair grew back and he was just like a normal person again, he wasn't the sick and feeble young boy, I had known clad only in a hospital gown, but he always had a smile on his face.
We started High school together but he was in a grade lower than mine was, even though he was around the same age as I was. He didn't complain though, and still had the biggest smile on his face whenever he saw me in the hallway. Sometimes he would just smile at me and pass if it was very crowded, but if it weren't, he would strike up a conversation, asking me if I had a boyfriend yet. The answer was always no, until I was in my senior year of high school. I met Dan and we dated for a little while until I caught him making fun of my brother, even though I didn't know much about my own brother, I still felt the urge to stick up for him, I dumped him in front of everyone and he called me a crazy bitch but I didn't care.
I wondered why I had stuck up for him and knew that if he wasn't there I would still be dating Dan, and everything would be normal, instead of always having to make sure he was all right, sometimes I even wished I had another family, but I quickly stopped, shocked by my coldness. It wasn't his fault that this had happened to him, it was nobody's fault, just the luck of life I suppose.
When I was a couple of weeks away from graduating High school, my brother got sick again, almost worse than before. My parents rushed him to the doctor and they did too many tests to remember and on one sunny Saturday in April, they announced that he had cancer again. It had spread to his brain and was inoperable unless they wanted him to live with major brain damage or even die on the operating table. My parents didn't know what to do and spoke to Ben, who said he was tired of operations and made the final decision to die. Only he didn't know he would die at the time, he didn't feel terrible but said he had a dull ache in his head a couple of times a day and then it would go away. The doctor gave him four months to live, which my parents rejected before when they had heard it before when he had cancer the first time and the doctor said he would only have two months but he lived.
Our parents took him home and told him that he didn't have to go to school anymore unless he chose to. Of course trying to be normal teenager, he was excited and withdrew from school. I, on the other hand, stayed to graduate. I had worked hard for thirteen long years and was not ready to give up.
"Can I come in?" Ben knocked on my door and stuck his little head inside; still clad in the large smile he had had almost all of his life.
"Sure." I replied as I turned a page in my biology book. I had memorized all I could before the final exams for the next day and was exhausted and wanted to go to sleep but Ben seemed troubled and I wanted to be nice.
"Well, I was thinking..." Ben stopped and flopped down on my bed, picked up one of my stuffed animals and smiled. "I remember when I gave you this for your ninth birthday...I found it in one of the hospital rooms...someone had left it behind when they left...you told me that you would never let it go and would love it forever." He turned it over in his hands then made it do a little dance that brought a little grin to my face. "You still have him." He said as he made it dance.
"Yeah, please put Mr. Stickles down." I said flatly, the smile leaving my face.
"Mr. Stickles?" He said with a curious look.
"Yes, Mr. Stickles." I snatched it from his grasp and set him down on my pillow.
"All right, all right...sorry." He said looking dismal at my intense emotion I had just expressed for nothing but a stuffed animal. "Anyway, I was...wondering...who are you going to the prom with?"
"No one...now that I broke up with Dan." I said as I turned back to my desk and closed my book angrily and hard so that it made a loud THUD!
"Oh, hey, I've got an idea...why don't we go together?" Ben was unfazed by my anger and kept the stupid grin on his face
"Let's not...we're brother and sister...it would just be too weird." I replied rudely, I could instantly see the disappointment in his face, and his dismay, the grin disappeared for once in his life probably and he looked down at his feet. He hadn't had a girlfriend in his life and never probably ever kissed a girl. I felt a little sorry for him because he would be so lonely and being eighteen years old and a virgin at that, I knew that many girls had sex for the first time on prom night and I myself was a virgin, I was counting on Dan to take my virginity, but now he and my virginity were completely out of the question. "Well, wait...we don't have to go out to the prom, we could...have it right here." I replied quickly, too quickly and I regretted my hasty decision.
"Really?" I knew I was too far in to back out now so I only nodded. "All right! I'm...I have to go get a tuxedo...and you have to...oh my God!" It was like my simple answer had overwhelmed him.
"Calm down! Calm down!" I said as I put my hands up to stop him, I didn't want him to have that health problem again or pee all over my floor, because he was so excited. It was actually a little funny to me, but I hid my smile beneath the dark exterior of my heart, too afraid to show emotion for him, and then to see something bad happen.
"I'm all right...oh God! I'll see you later, I have to go get ready!"
"Hey, prom isn't until next week!" I shouted behind him but he was already gone. I shut my door and wondered what kind of trouble I had just gotten myself in to.
My mother's friend came over and measured both of us for our clothes we would wear that night. My parents were so proud of me and told me that I was doing a nice thing for Ben. I shrugged and couldn't believe I was going through with this...a prom with my own brother! I must've been pretty desperate to go with my brother but if I was doing something nice for him I though it wasn't as bad as I had thought.
My dress was more of a summer pattern then the black I had originally wanted, but the colors were nice, it made me look like I was a lesbian going to the prom with all the rainbow colors though. My parents worked hard preparing the living room for our dance floor, a disco ball they had rented for the occasion, a circular table with a green tablecloth, and the decorations.
When it was finally finished, our parents took pictures of us individually; I didn't smile in mine. Then they finally left us alone, no more pictures, and thanking me for doing this for Ben. I walked to the living room and saw Ben standing in front of the table with his hands behind his back. I avoided his gaze and walked to my seat. Ben however, rushed forward and pulled the chair out for me, Dan had never done that for me before when we were on a date, he would sit in one chair and I would have to do almost everything on my own. I still didn't look at him as he rushed back to his place and sat down in his chair.
The candles flickered across his face and he reached forward and took the napkin off of my food. Macaroni and cheese. I looked at it and then Ben, who nodded. He had made it by himself. "I'm...uh...sorry that I couldn't make you something better." He said regretfully and stirred his macaroni and cheese. "Remember when Mom said she had burned the cake?" I nodded and remembered my Mom burning a cake for the first time since I was about three years old earlier in the day. "That...that was me." I chuckled a little, so what if he couldn't cook, no problem.
"No problem, so you can't cook, not many people really can, especially their first time." I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back and then he asked me if I wanted to dance. I sighed, shrugged and stood up. He took my hand gently and led me to our impromptu dance floor.
The first song was a fast one and he danced a little awkward, but about halfway through the song he built up more courage and danced better. "I didn't know you could dance like this!" I said in amazement.
"Oh yeah, you remember Estella? From the hospital?" Estella was Ben's personal nurse, she was there for anything he needed but she had to be at least forty years older than him and the first time I saw her, she moved like an old woman. "She taught me how to move, I know how to do the foxtrot, mambo, tango, and the jitter bug...right now, I'm doing a little of each." He dipped low and then came back up, snapping his fingers enthusiastically, then he grabbed me and dipped me low to the ground, then brought me back up with my head spinning and my black hair all over my face.
"Whoa!" I said as I grabbed onto him but he didn't stop there, he kept going with so much energy that I could've swore that him being sick was just a lie. When I couldn't think I could take anymore, the song ended and a slower song came on. Ben let me go and then put his arms around my hips, so lightly that I couldn't even feel him there, I put my arms around his neck and moved my hips slightly in time with the music.
"You look good in your dress." Ben said as he looked into my eyes, not down to my breasts like all the others would. I was positively melting in his hands, he was unlike any man I had ever been with, he had so much honesty and was a true gentleman. All the other guys had been morons, looking down in my cleavage, trying to grab my ass while we danced, and just basically trying to sleep with me. Ben wasn't like that...he was different. "Hmmm, you dance well." He whispered to me. I noticed that he had moved a couple of inches closer and I could feel his warm breath on my neck, his cologne opened my nose, and I was surprised that he didn't smell at all like antiseptic, which he had for a long time since he came back from the hospital. I felt strange feelings at that moment, I trusted him, and I felt protected by him, not afraid. My stomach was tied in knots, my hands were sweaty, and my heart was beating faster and faster. I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt his chin on my shoulder a moment later, his hands clasped tightly around my thigh, and his hair brushing against my cheek.
I heard the song change to another faster song but I didn't care, nor did he. We danced for what seemed like an eternity, together, everything I had thought about him was wrong, he wasn't as delicate as everyone had made him out to be, nothing about his problems were true to me at that moment. Inside he just wanted to be a normal guy, no one to fret over him, no one to ask if he was in any pain, and no one to treat him like a child.
At that moment, we both broke our embrace, and leaned in together for a kiss, it happened so fast I couldn't stop myself, his soft lips parted mine and it was like electricity had gone through my entire body. It went down from my lips and made my very soul tingle, my heartbeat quicken, and my eyes open wide in surprise. His eyes were closed and he was clearly enjoying it, but I pushed him away, embarrassed that I let such a thing happen between us.
I turned quickly and ran out of the living room and shut the door to my room. What I had just done was wrong, very wrong, brothers and sisters weren't supposed to do something so obscene and vulgar in the eyes of society. Even if he was a good kisser, I wished none of it had happened. Just great, I thought to myself, another thing to make me feel uncomfortable around him.
I almost screamed at myself for making a big mistake of letting him kiss me, but then I remembered that I had kissed him too. I groaned loudly, sat up, and heard a knock on my bedroom door. I stood back up, knowing who was on the other side of the door, I came up with a couple of excuses in case he asked and then I opened the door. There stood Ben, with an apologetic look on his face, no smile...only another frown. "Can I...come in?" He didn't look up to my face as I told him he could. I shut the door behind him and he flopped down on my bed. "I'm...I'm sorry...about what I did...all of it...I just got a little carried away." He hung his head down pitifully, and fiddled with his fingers.
"It's all right, I know you've never been..." I let my voice trail off and he knew what I meant because he only nodded. But, I didn't blame him for wanting me, had all the years in the hospital warped his mind to fall in love with the first girl he saw when he came home? Possibly, but if I wasn't his sister, I surely wouldn't have stopped him.
"I'm really sorry, it's just that you looked so pretty." He looked up at me this time and I could see the honesty in his eyes, he really meant it. That was another thing that Dan hadn't done, he had never told me I looked pretty, only hot, but I was pretty sure he didn't mean it because he looked at plenty of other girls while we were on our date. I had spent hours getting ready, combing my hair, putting make up on, picking out the right outfit that would accent my appearance so that I would sparkle just right when the light hit me. Dan hadn't noticed any of it, he didn't even look at me when I got into his car, it made me feel unappreciated and worthless, that's why our relationship wasn't strong in the first place.
"Thank you." I gave him a sweet look and tucked my black hair behind my ears. "But we weren't supposed to do that."
"I know, I know...it's just that..." Now his voice trailed off but I didn't know what he meant.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked as I sat down next to him.
"Well, I'm eighteen years old, never kissed a girl, never been with a girl, never even touched one who wasn't bathing me." I knew that it must've been hard for him, no relief for a teenage boy, his wanting and desires never fulfilled by a member of the opposite sex. "And I...I...just don't want to die a virgin."
"I...hummm." I felt a little uncomfortable with him telling me that, but he didn't seem the slightest bit nervous, he said it with a lot of courage. "Well, it's-it's...all right."
"I will never feel a girl in my life probably and kiss only one...you." He looked at me and smiled a little but the smile faded when he saw I wasn't smiling back at him.
"What do you mean in your life? You have plenty of time to meet—."
He interrupted me, stood up, rubbed his head and said, "You don't have to say it...I know I'm dying, I just wish I had more time, there is so much I wanted to do, but most of it will not be done." He said sadly and turned away from me. I really did feel sorry for him, here I was with a full life in front of me and his was so short, I know my parents would've gladly given half of theirs to give him more time and so would I. Normal people take life for granted and others live it the way they choose fit, I was neither one. I didn't know what to do with my life, but I didn't necessarily waste it.
"What do you mean? You're not..." Ben put his hand up and told me to stop, there was no denying the fact that he knew his life would end in a short time, he wasn't ready for it...death, the end. "Well, I..." I didn't know what to say, yes, he was going to die, but what would be wrong with making his life a little more fulfilled in his last few moments? I thought to myself, if I did it and got caught, he would be secluded even more, cut off from everything, no doubt my parents would go insane, I would have to live with it my whole life.
"It's just...oh, what am I saying, I'm sorry," He turned to leave; my uncomfortable silence had made him so embarrassed that he hit the side of my desk when he tried to run away. "Jesus!" He fell to the floor, holding his leg, and wincing in pain. I bent down to him at once and he pushed me away. He hated having people around him when he was in pain, it had been his curse all his life, never being able to come to the fact that he was in pain, not being able to deal with it in his own way because someone was always there to stop it.
The pain on his face was unbearable and I wanted to stop it, but he wouldn't let me get near him, he had to deal with it himself. He cried quietly for a few moments, then stood up boldly and turned again to leave. I ran forward, grabbed him and kissed him. I wanted to end his pain, his suffering, to take his mind away from everything bad that had happened all his life, no wonder every one stopped his pain, he was just so depressing. I embraced him close to me and held his face with my soft hands. I could feel his hands going to my neck, down to my back and then to my thighs, giving my butt a comforting squeeze.
I didn't know what I was thinking at that moment when we fell on my bed, entangled with each other. He got my dress off quite easily using the zipper from the back, I took off the straps and let the top fall, exposing my breasts, he didn't even seem to notice them at first until he ran his fingers over them, bringing a moan from my lips. A jolt of electricity ran through both of my breasts, it wasn't as strong as before when we kissed, but this time, it was softer, more intimate.
I stood up off the bed and pulled off my dress, my underwear sat for just a couple of strokes up and down my body, and then was swept off to the floor. I fell back onto the bed with Ben on top of me, kissing the nape of my neck. He stopped at that moment to admire my body; his eyes traveled along my face, down to my breasts, to my pussy and then back up to my face. "Are you...sure you want to do this?" He asked me before he continued, running his hands up and down my legs, coming within an inch of my most special place.