Encounters with John Wayne Ch. 15bysurober1©
Diana Maitland looked at John Wayne as he sat staring at her beside him on the double chaise lounge after she had told him all about herself as a spoiled and teased little girl, and as an adolescent with low self-esteem, which had led to her infatuation with him. Ultimately, it had led to her love for him and her determination to come to Hollywood just for the chance to meet him. They were still wrapped in towels and sipping on wine; he was dragging slowly on a cigarette that was nearly gone, and she could see in his eyes that he was thinking about something, so she asked him what it was.
He frowned slightly as he took a last drag, then put his cigarette out in the ashtray, and looked down; then he picked up her left hand from where it was resting between them with his right hand and stroked his thumb over her knuckles. As he held onto her hand and continued to stare at it, he said softly, "I was just wishing that you hadn't been so unhappy and had such a low opinion of yourself as a young girl, and that I could make the pain of those memories go away for you. But, then I realized that if you hadn't had that experience growing up, then you probably would never have loved me and I would never have known you even existed. No matter what happens, little girl, I'll never regret knowing you and loving you," as he looked back up into her face with passionate sadness in his deep blue eyes.
Her heart nearly broke at the look in his eyes; he looked as though he had resigned himself to believe that she was not going to stay with him and, although he would go along with whatever she decided, he might not be happy about it, but he would never resent her for it. She already knew that if she walks away from him, she's going to regret it for the rest of her life. What the hell was she going to do? Tears welled in her eyes and she looked away from him quickly to try and hide them, but it was too late. He let go of her hand and lifted his to her chin to turn her face back toward him as a few of the tears rolled down her cheeks.
He rumbled softly, "I'm sorry, little girl, I don't want to make you cry. I just want you to know that my life will be better just because of you...just knowing there really was a soul mate for me, and I thank God that he finally brought you to me since I had stopped searching." More tears started to run down her cheeks, so he lowered his hand from her chin, set his glass of wine on the table by the chaise, then reached over to take her wine glass out of her shaking right hand and set it beside his. Then he put his right arm around her and pulled her over to lean against his chest as he encircled her in his arms and stroked her damp hair while she cried silently...he could feel her tears dripping on his chest and her body shaking slightly, but she was not making a sound.
She was breaking her own heart and she was even more afraid of breaking his; he'd said he'd never regret loving her, but she was afraid now that it really might cause him pain if she decided not to stay with him. Then a question popped into her mind that she hadn't thought about, and she wondered if he could answer it. She looked up at him, her eyes awash with tears, and she asked raggedly, "What made you think that you were in love with me?"
As he moved his left hand up to her face to wipe away some of her tears with his thumb, he stared into her eyes and said, "I started to feel something in the car on the way to the hotel. After you told me about how you had 'fantasized' about me all your life, and then I told you that I would never be able to do a love scene in a movie with you because it would be too realistic. Remember I said I hadn't even kissed you yet and that I was afraid when I started I would never be able to stop...I almost said 'ever' at the end of that sentence, but I wasn't sure how you'd take it. I thought that you just wanted me to fulfill your fantasies and that love wasn't part of the deal, and I didn't want to scare you away. Then, when I kissed you in the elevator and it felt as if I was...melting into you, I knew, but I wouldn't let myself think about it because I had no idea what would happen between us."
Her eyes widened as he told her this, and her tears stopped for the moment. Then he continued, "I realized you loved me when you told me about what that bastard did to you and how it had affected you, and I thought you had never been made love to properly—until you told me that I had, and that I did every time I looked at you...every time you heard my voice...every time I touched you." His voice was growing deeper and sexier as he continued, "I almost called you on it then, but you didn't come right out and say it, so I decided to leave it up to you to decide when, or if, you wanted to tell me. But, if you had never brought it up, then I would never have let you leave until I told you that I loved you and made you admit your love for me."
Then he bent his head down and kissed her fiercely, and she brought her right hand up and clutched at the back of his head and neck, kissing him back just as fiercely, as she elicited short, desperate moans. She was reeling from the realization that he had fallen in love with her way more quickly than she had with him; she'd had all those movies to watch and bios to read that had led her to develop a schoolgirl crush for him, and then fell harder for him as she got older. He hadn't really known anything at all about her, but he knew with their first kiss...he said it had "felt as if he was melting into her" and she had felt that way, too...but could he just be saying all this to make her feel better?
She still didn't understand how or why he had fallen for her...she had been shocked just to find that he desired her...but for him to love her? Where had that come from? She was nothing compared to him...he was a big star with renowned fame; a powerful man able to influence other powerful people in an industry that could chew up and spit out less powerful, yet talented actors. And yet, he was not respected for his talent, he was simply a man with a commanding presence that could dominate the movie screen and many people admired him just because of that...it was why she had fallen for him...but what the hell did he see in her? His desire for her she could understand—for some unknown reason, they had an incredible chemistry between them, but the fact that he loved her scared her...
When he lifted his head to look at her, she said huskily as the tears shimmered in her eyes, "I never believed my fantasies and dreams about you were meant to come true, and when it happened, it shocked me and...scares me. You see, the scary part about all of this for me is that, even in my own dreams and fantasies, you never loved me or needed me...you just desired me,...which was all I needed. I never imagined that you could love me...I'm no one special. What could you possibly have ever seen in me...?" as the tears started to fall from the corners of her eyes.
He had to close his eyes, he couldn't stand the emptiness he saw in her eyes; his guts twisted at the realization that she still couldn't see how beautiful she was...inside and out. She had lived with her fears and painful feelings of rejection for so long that she had cut herself off from ever letting anyone love her, and now she did not feel worthy of being loved.
He opened his eyes again to see that she had hers closed as tears continued to squeeze under her lashes. His heart was breaking; how would he ever be able to convince her that she is special and deserves to be loved if she doesn't believe she is? She was someone very special; his mission now was to make her see that she deserves to be loved...by him...or by any other man who was lucky enough to come in contact with her, unless they were a fool.
He used his thumb to wipe more tears from her right cheek, as he said gently, "Look at me, Diana." When she slowly opened her eyes with such a look of utter emptiness in their depths, he couldn't stop the mist of tears that suddenly came into his eyes and the lump that formed in his throat. He swallowed hard to force it down so he could speak, then he said huskily, "You say you love me and that you trust me...is that really true?"
She nodded slowly, so he continued softly, "Then why don't you believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are...and I am not just referring to your physical beauty, little girl. Your friend Lynn knew you better than you thought and told you the truth...some day, some man would come along and realize what a wonderful person you are. And I don't believe that I am the first man to realize that; any one of those other men who begged for the chance to be with you again probably realized it, but you were too blinded by your fears and pain to see it. I am going to do everything in my power to make you realize that you deserve to be loved...especially by me...or by any other man smart enough to realize how wonderful you are." He whispered those last few words as more tears flooded his eyes, so he closed them and it made the tears stick to his lashes.
He opened his eyes to look at her again, his left hand still cupping her cheek, and she was looking at him with an expression of gentle confusion, like she wanted to believe what he was saying to her. God, he hoped he was getting through to her...he couldn't stand to see her so sad!
She almost couldn't believe what he was saying to her, but the look on his face and the hurt in his eyes at seeing her pain, made her realize he meant every word. She had never seen him look so sincere; he had said it himself—he was not that good an actor, but she had never cared about that. She wasn't interested in him as an actor; she loved him as a man, and he was showing her what kind of man he was. He was exactly as she had imagined; powerful, sexy, honorable and kind...and he claimed to love her just because she deserved to be loved. If he couldn't make her believe she deserved love, then she would never be able to love anyone the right way...even him. She was so confused...she wanted him and needed him, but did she love him for the right reasons? Maybe that was why she was still so unsure that she could share a life with him...
He could see she seemed to get more confused, and he had no idea what was going on inside her head, so he felt he needed to remind her of their passion for each other. So he bent down and kissed her fiercely again, and she still made those little desperate moans as she clutched the back of his head. Her moans were awakening his desire for her again, and he forced her mouth open to thrust his tongue into her, and her desperate moans turned into deep moans of passion, which he echoed.
His dick was getting harder with each thrust and lick of their tongues, and he wanted to remind her how much she affected him physically as well. He reached up with his left hand and took her right hand from the back of his head and pulled it down to press it against the bulge of his hardening dick under his towel so she could feel it as he stiffened rapidly. As soon as she felt it, she groaned deeply as her mouth dragged away from his because her head fell backward and her back arched as her desperate desire for him started to take over again, and she clutched at his cock tightly through the towel.
He growled in his throat as his raw need for her flowed through his body, and he took his left hand off of hers at his crotch and reached up to clutch the back of her head and force it up so he could look into her face, and he said fiercely, "Look at me, little girl!" as his fingers dug into her hair because her eyes were still closed. When she forced them half open, he continued almost savagely, "You have complete control over me...my heart, my soul...my body..." he nearly groaned as his dick throbbed and he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and stared at her with his eyes burning.
Then he clutched her hair even tighter and started talking through his teeth, "If you still intend to walk away from me tomorrow night, then tell me now, because if you do, then I intend to carry you upstairs and throw you on that big bed in the master bedroom and not let you out of it so I can fuck you every time my body is able to until then—even if it ends up killing me! I won't care because, right now, the thought of never seeing you again scares me to death, so TELL ME!" he roared, as his chest heaved, his eyes blazed and he shook his hand that was clutching her hair slightly.
Her eyes widened at his display of raw desire; this was what she craved from him—this passion and desire that she had never seen him display in a movie...God, he was just so...so sexy...she couldn't believe what a fucking turn on this was! This was how she wanted to remember him... always; as a passionate, powerful, and virile man who would take her body for his pleasure, and yet give her even more pleasure in return. She had known since she was a young girl that she needed this kind of passion from a man in order for her to feel loved. But, as he had pointed out at the start, he was way past his prime and how he kept managing to fuck her like he was still in his twenties was somewhat of a shock...it couldn't possibly last or it could very well kill him...and she couldn't have that...
She breathed heavily and bit her lip, not even realizing she was still clutching his hard, thick cock through the towel around his hips. Then she licked her dry lips with the tip of her tongue and said quietly, "I don't know what I'm going to do; I don't know if I'll be able to walk away; I don't know if I'll be able to stay. All I know is that I need you...and if you die from fucking me, then I'll die with you!" Her eyes and her voice deepened passionately as she made her response.
He stared down at her for several seconds after she had finished speaking, his breathing ragged from the emotions surging through him. She had said she wasn't sure what she was going to do...he still had a chance to make her to stay and he was going to do everything in his power to convince her that she deserved his love and that they belonged together. He felt his fears and frustrations melting away, and the only things he was aware of were the look of desire on her face and her hand tightly clutching his hard dick...he needed to be inside her again.
He crushed his mouth to hers for a short, hard, desperate kiss as he loosened his grip on her hair and then released it. He reached down and peeled her hand away from his crotch, then took her shoulders and sat her up as he stood up beside the chaise lounge, then bent down to lower the back of it flat. As he stood up again, he pulled the towel from his hips and dropped it on the corner of the chaise, and his big, hard dick was pointing straight at her face.
She stared at it for a moment as her pussy started to throb from her need to feel him inside her. She looked up at his face and they both had the same expressions of need in their eyes and they both were breathing heavily. She pulled her towel open and lay back, bending her knees and spreading her legs, and holding her arms out to him as he moved onto the chaise and crawled up between her legs and over her. It was like his dick knew exactly where to go; as he moved up over her, her pussy was in the perfect position and his cock started to slide straight into her with very little resistance other than that initial tightness as her soft, wet pussy stretched to accommodate his thick shaft.
They both closed their eyes and echoed the same moan at the exact moment the head of his dick touched her opening, and it lasted until he was completely buried in her. As their moans faded, they opened their eyes and at the same time, they both whispered, "My God..." as their eyebrows lifted slightly, wondering if they were going to say the same thing. Then they both started again, "I'll never...get over...this feeling...!" With each statement, their faces registered their awe at this uncanny connection they seemed to have, then they both smiled softly as their breathing calmed.
The passion started to return to their eyes as their smiles faded, and he leaned down to kiss her gently, both still keeping their eyes open to stare into the other's. Then he lifted his head and brought his right hand up to her face and gently wiped the remnants of her tears from her cheeks and around her eyes. He positioned himself on his forearms just high enough to see her entire face and stared at her as he pulled back to start thrusting in and out of her, and her eyelids drooped with the look of pleasure that came over her face, but she kept her eyes open to stare back at him. They just watched each other's faces as he moved in and out of her with soft, slow, deep thrusts that allowed them both to fully enjoy the exquisite feeling of every thick inch of his hard cock moving inside her.
It just felt so right; the sensations they were feeling turned their entire pelvic areas into masses of throbbing pleasure. He felt it from his balls all the way up to his lower abdomen inside his body and on his skin; she was tingling from her breasts all the way down to the crease of her ass, with more intense throbs of pleasure coursing through her pussy almost up to the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was in the throes of a continuous, slow, pulsing orgasm, and her hips writhed against his every time he was fully inside her.
They were both throbbing in pleasure so much that, for a few moments, it felt as if they had melted together inside her and he became part of her; but it had actually happened the first time he entered her just inside the door of his hotel room. They knew from the first second she was completely impaled on him that that was how they belonged; his cock buried deeply inside her—their bodies joined completely together. That was why every time he cums inside her and then has to withdraw, she feels so empty, and he wishes he felt like he had left more of himself inside of her than just his semen.
Now he wished he could get her pregnant...then maybe she'd stay...or he'd make her stay! She'd said it was highly unlikely that she'd get pregnant at this time, but she didn't say it was impossible! Now he had another, more urgent, reason to want to cum inside her every chance he got. With that seed planted in his brain, he started thrusting harder and faster into her to bring on the orgasm he had been holding back because he wanted to be inside her as long as he could. She started to cum as soon as he did that, lifting her hips to meet his, and moaning loudly as she continued to stare up into his eyes as she drowned in pleasure.
He felt his orgasm start just after he felt the throbs in her pussy abate and her hips stopped moving. He slowed his thrusts to jerk his hips hard and stay deep inside her through each spasm of his cock ejaculating into her, grunting deeply and staring into her eyes with a look of primal lust. As he felt the last pulses of his orgasm, he growled at her, "I can't keep my dick inside you forever, but I can sure as hell leave as much of my sperm inside you as I can..." as he breathed heavily and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
Her eyes widened, then she frowned slightly; was he saying what she thought he was—that he wanted to get her pregnant?!! Her heart fluttered at that thought; she loved him, she would give anything to have his baby...they would, literally, be connected to each other through that child. But, she knew he would never let her just walk away from him if she was pregnant with his child...now she started to understand his motive. That was his whole idea; he gets her pregnant, then she has no choice but to stay with him! My God, he was getting desperate to try and figure out how to make her stay...why?
God, how she wished she could! Maybe that was it...maybe God or fate could make the decision for her. She knew it was "highly unlikely" that she would get pregnant during this weekend, but it was not impossible. Other women she has known who used this same method for birth control ended up getting pregnant when they supposedly were not in the fertile period of their cycles. And whenever she had had sex with other men, she always made them wear a condom, so she has never completely tested her cycle. And she certainly had never had this much sex in just a 24-hour period—and they still had over another 24 hours to go! She started to wish that she would end up pregnant...she would make a deal with him. So she wrapped her legs around his hips and ass and locked her ankles to keep him buried in her as she slowly started to smile at him.