Ending the Masquerade

The early nineties was an interesting time for me. As an avid role playing game player, I was accustomed to a hobby dominated by boys and men. At 23, I was out of school and on my way in a new career. But then two things combined to bring a significant change for the time. First, the Goth culture had grown significantly in the United States, even if many people had widely varying definitions of the term. Secondly, there was the release of Vampire the Masquerade, or more accurately, the Mind's Eye Theater live action rules for that game. That game brought many more women into the hobby, even if such gaming was considered a derivation from the usual tabletop versions. I've often wondered how many of today's Twilight moms were yesterday's Goths and Vampire LARPers. While I had played Vampire the Masquerade occasionally with some friends, it was a co-worker that told me about Julie and her Mind's Eye Theater group.

At 42 years old, Julie had been a regular participant in the SCA... the society for creative anachronism... for quite some time. Her son, who was a gamer, had picked up Vampire and the Mind's Eye rules, and this is how Julie found them. The SCA is a much larger scale past time, while a Vampire game could be as little or as large as those running it desired. Julie's ex-husband had been a successful CEO of a fortune 500 company. One of the assets she came out of the marriage with was a very large, very old mansion on the outskirts of the city. It was a newer house, but had been built with old architectural styles in mind. While it wasn't gothic, it was very appropriate to the setting of the game, especially once Julie set out to convert many of the rooms specifically for the game.

I was no actor, nor even an outgoing person. Amongst gamers I could feel comfortable however, and my co-worker eventually got me to join their group (or troupe as Julie preferred to call them) and I started to work on finding appropriate clothing for my character. Already possessing long hair and a goatee, I was already somewhat well suited to the role, albeit, skinny and underweight for the typical vampire. This latest troupe of Julie's was new, and we had not yet started an actual Chronicle. We spent several weeks running one night scenarios so that people could grow accustomed to how the game worked, how Julie wanted to run it, and to each other's characters. It was at the end of this period that I met Katie when she joined the group.

Katie was everything I was not, blonde haired, blue-eyed, bubbly, and outgoing. She was every guy's dream of the young college co-ed. She was a 20 year old junior at the state university in town near where I lived, studying theater, music, dance, and of course, cheerleading. She was most certainly out of my league, so of course I was immediately infatuated with her. When she learned I lived close to the university later that night, she asked if I might be able to give her a ride here every week, as she didn't have a car and her roommate was not at all thrilled at having to drive all the way here and sit on the side bored by her friend's play-acting. I agreed immediately and headed home that night with her phone number.

Not only did I become a chauffeur, I was also quickly drafted to teach Katie the mechanics of the game so she could participate. After two sessions with my own lack luster performance and costuming, she also soon took it upon herself to teach me a few things and help refine my "look". I soon had an opera coat, an odd, misshapen top hat, and a cane. I hated suits, and in fact, the time I spent playing Vampire was one of the few times I tried to look good in one. My character was Stefan, a Ventrue, and needed to be suave, dashing, and elegant; all things I had to learn, or at least learn to fake. I also presented myself as the cunning planner and plotter of the group often setting up things that took several sessions to completely play out.

Katie's character was Elena, a Toreador, an artistic and hedonistic type. And while she had no trouble turning her acting skills to playing a part somewhat similar to her own, she was not happy with her look. For this she added a black wig that had blood red highlights and heavy makeup that she employed during the times she visited the few Goth-oriented establishments in the university area. She loved playing parts after all. Her clothing, however, was fairly modern, consisting of a black mini-skirt, a black midriff shirt spattered with paint, and some shiny black thigh boots. She broke up all the black with jewelry accents that were very old styled and a bit garish. Eventually, I bought her a pair of costume contacts that changed her blue eyes to a baleful red color, and of course she thought they were amazing.

Katie became a regular visitor to the house before and after game sessions, but I never harbored any realistic aspirations toward her. I know what you're thinking; I was being nice to her so that perhaps something might happen. I grew up with John Hughes films, I know how those sorts of things play out, but there was a lot more going on here. Honestly, in the beginning, I just enjoyed being around Katie even as just a friend, no matter what I might dream or fantasize about. Then after seven months of fairly regular gaming, something happened to change everything.

On our regularly scheduled game night, we showed up at Julie's only to find that everyone else... all 7 of them... had cancelled. I'm not sure why Katie wasn't suspicious... maybe it was because it happened to be the Friday before a holiday. Julie had tried to call me, she said, but by the time she got word from everyone else, I had already left the house. Not having anything else scheduled for the night, she offered to run a session for just the two of us since we had come all the way out anyhow. Katie quickly agreed for both of us. Julie was an excellent Storyteller and could weave all sorts of sideline occurrences into the overall chronicle quite smoothly. For us, she created a scenario where we would need to infiltrate a rival vampire group's home and obtain information that could be used against them. Fairly boring probably, as I describe it, but Julie could bring such things to life with details and mood.

After our first hour of information gathering, locating the house, and getting inside, we found that we would need some sort of distraction. In that moment I struck upon a plan to both serve as a distraction, and to also open myself up to Katie a little. Or she would be outraged and everything would go horribly wrong.

I should explain my character a little so that this makes sense. The term "power gaming" didn't really exist in the common terminology back then, at least not outside of computer games. But it was that sort of thing that I tended to do when making characters for games. Julie was not unaware of this, and in fact structured several encounters around how my character was built. In the game, Generation was important. It was not a measure of the age of a vampire, but of his general power. Older vampires did tend to be more powerful, but you could have recently turned vampires of an older Generation if they completely consumed the blood of a more powerful vampire. When creating a character, you could buy Negative Traits to increase Generation, which I did, starting at 8th Generation instead of 13th. This was important for my second aspect. Vampires possessed powers called Disciplines, and mine had put all his points into one called Dominate. Dominating humans is typically easy. But my older Generation allowed me to dominate fellow vampires of a younger Generation. This was the only Discipline Stefan had. I was a bit of a "one trick pony" if you will, but it was a powerful trick. No one in the group knew the mechanics behind anybody's characters except their own, outside of what was revealed during play. Even though I taught Katie the game, I had no idea of the mechanical aspects of her character. However, I was almost certain that Elena was 13th Generation. Now you can probably see where this is going...

As I was formulating my plan, Julie announced that the key opposing vampire was entering the dance hall where we were, and now was the time to put into play any plan that we had. I quickly scribbled down a note and passed it to Julie. She read it and looked up at me quickly.

"On her?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Are you sure," she asked again, sounding concerned. Katie stood nearby with a look of confusion.

Using powers on fellow players is considered a no-no in some groups. It can create very bad situations and lead to broken gaming groups and even broken friendships and relationships. Julie had no such rule in place, and while I built my character with this sort of thing in mind, I had never intended to use it on Katie in such a fashion, at least not initially.

Julie glanced at Katie and said, "I hope you know what you're doing." I told Julie I was bidding one trait; Beguiling. She then scribbled a note of her own and handed it to Katie, who responded after reading it by shaking her head no. This meant Katie was not going to resist what I was doing.

"Dance with me," I whispered to her as I stared into her eyes. Domination requires eye contact and verbal commands to be effective, so I maintained eye contact for the entire dance. We twirled around the room to the old music Julie had playing in the room for this scene and while we danced, Julie moved to where our target was positioned. I moved Katie toward the wall near Julie when the music began to wind down. I let my hand drift slowly, but firmly down her back and over her skirt covered ass.

"Stefan! What are you..."

I interrupted her by kissing her, and her exclamation of "doing" was muffled by it. Katie seemed shocked for several seconds, and then suddenly she relaxed and began to kiss me back. To me this wasn't Stefan kissing Elena, but to her it was... it was still part of the game, and I could sense it in how she kissed me. This continued until we heard an "ahem" from Julie.

As I pulled away from her, I whispered in Katie's ear. "Now slap me and go to him, seduce him, distract him. But do not remember who did this, or why."

It was said loud enough for Julie to hear and she quickly responded, "he is also a Ventrue, if he tries to Dominate her and fails, he will know something is wrong."

"Precisely," I answered. "But he will not know what, or more importantly who. He will be off balance and confused, even after we leave." Julie smiled at this, not recognizing until now how devious I was actually trying to be. Katie did as I instructed and the rest of the session passed in a blur for me. We easily obtained the information, and through a clever twist of words from Katie, we planted a seed of suspicion on an entirely different group than our own before we left. I kept getting distracted when I would lick my lips and still taste Katie there.

The ride home was quiet. I had no idea if Katie was angry, tired, or something else, and I had no idea how to break the silence, as my mind was still churning. About halfway home she finally spoke and said, "can we go back to your place for a while first? It's still early and I don't feel like heading back to the dorm yet."

"Sure," I answered quickly. I did not detect any hints of anger in her voice, and in fact her tone was decidedly neutral. The rest of the trip was cloaked again in silence. When we got to my house I parked the car and unlocked the front door and let her in. As I followed I said, "so what do you want to do? Movie? Board game? I splurged on some new bottles of wine yesterday." She rounded on me suddenly as I was closing and locking the door behind me.

"I want you to be the Storyteller. I want to know what happens between Stefan and Elena when they get home," she said quickly. I still could not read anything from her voice, and I was a little off balance.

"Uh... ok... it's going to be a little strange doing both, not sure how good I will be at this. I've never run a game of this sort."

"I think you'll manage," she quipped almost cheerfully, apparently glad that I was considering it.

We moved into the living room and I glanced around sadly. "My place is not as nice as Julie's, but I guess we can make do." I had no period music, so I reached into Katie's bag and pulled out the first CD I could find. "Bloody Kisses," I remarked. "I think that will do." To this day, listening to this CD brings back every detail of this night. Katie simply smiled as I loaded the disc into the player. She was leaning on the edge of the doorway between the living room and family room, so I walked over to her and looked into her eyes for several long seconds.

"Stefan releases you from his Domination as he says, 'what now my sweet Toreador?'" I ran a finger down the side of her cheek to her neck and traced the line of her shirt across the top of her chest. "I've used you... badly, you might say."

"Did you kiss me purely for distraction, or did you want to," Elena asked.

"Does it matter," I said dismissively. "The need was there." I was unsure where this was going and my voice cracked a bit with hesitation.

"But was the want there as well," she persisted. "Do you want to kiss me again, Stefan," she asked as she leaned in closer.

"I admit you have piqued my interest. A kiss freely given is so much sweeter than one taken," I answered smoothly, which of course was not an answer at all.

"You toy with me," she said testily.

I moved my lips as close to her ear as I could without touching her and whispered, "I would never toy with you, my sweet." I lowered my head and gently kissed her neck.

"And yet you tease me, with your lips and fingers dancing on my flesh," she said sounding bored. I continued kissing my way around her neck and back toward her lips until I finally found them and kissed her softly, delicately, as if she might break. Her response was little movement at all, answering softness with disinterest.

"So weak, so frail, where is the want, where is the passion? Is that all that I inspire in you?"

I shivered when she said this, as she was closer to the mark than she knew. I wrapped my left arm around her waist and pulled her against me and kissed her hard, and strong, not with Stefan's passion, but with my own. "Ever the seeker of pleasure, aren't you my sweet? Are you so bored with immortality that your blood only quickens beneath the touch of someone in the grip of your charms?" I resumed my kissing and slid a hand up the skin of her waist and side and beneath her shirt to rest on a bra-covered breast. She gasped into me in response but did not pull away. I quickly brought both hands behind her and smoothly undid her bra. She lifted her arms quickly so that I could remove both shirt and bra in one quick motion. Instead of kissing her again immediately I stood and stared at her naked breasts.

"What need have the Toreador to pursue the creation of art when they embody it themselves," I asked softly, pointedly looking her in the eyes as I said it. I pulled her back to me and kissed her again. I could still tell it was Elena kissing me, and not Katie, she was still playing a part. "You seem bored my sweet. Perhaps it is not these lips you long to have kissed," I asked and I saw her blush immediately. She did not stop me as I sank to my knees and raised my hands to the back of her skirt though. "Perhaps this is where I must demonstrate my want, my need," I said as I lowered the zipper of her skirt and let it fall to the floor.

Katie was wearing a thong beneath the skirt but it was of the sort that had hooks in the front which could be removed easier than being pulled down her legs. When it was removed I pulled her legs away from the wall a bit and began my oral exploration of her sex. I kissed, I sucked, I prodded and pulled, and every other thing I could think of. I had no depth of experience to rely on, and instead concentrated on finding the right spots and pursuing them with ferocity. She came quickly the first time, and a second soon after that, but the third took longer and seemed to be more intense. When it hit she finally yelped and tried to push me away, but as I retreated, I quickly slithered a finger inside her and ran quick circles around what I hoped was her g-spot. I was rewarded quickly when a fourth wave of orgasm crashed over top of her third and she let out a loud exclamation of "mother fuck". She convulsed so violently that I quickly stood and grabbed her to keep her upright. She trembled in my arms for several seconds.

"Does that demonstrate my want, sweet Toreador," I asked.

"More," she whispered in my ear. "I want more of you, Stefan." I removed my jacket and kicked off my shoes as I led her to the bedroom. Once there I finally removed her boots and the remainder of my clothing before lying back on the bed with her, kissing her with renewed vigor. She was very wet, and I entered her easily. While I might be a bit above average at seven inches, like the rest of me, I was also skinny. I simply assumed that Katie's previous lovers were better endowed, so I was determined to find another way to please her. Mentally I started repeating "don't cum, don't cum" over and over in my head in time with my thrusting. I suppose others might use baseball stats, but what did I know about sports. I tried to avoid seeing the curves and lines of her gorgeous body, looking only to her eyes, and there only for brief moments. I started slow, and then went faster until my control started to slip, and then slower until I could recover. All the while, repeating my mantra. I succeeded in outlasting her while also finally managing to find the right angle and speed to bring her another trembling orgasm.

"It appears your need is greater than mine, sweet Elena."

"Please Stefan, cum for me," she replied. I quickened my pace, ceased my mental gymnastics and let myself gallop to orgasm.

She arched her back sharply when I came and another orgasm rocked across her body. "Oh god, Stefan," she exclaimed and my heart sank completely. Even until the end, she was playing the part. For her, we might as well have been filming a porno. As I collapsed on her and we rode out our convulsions, she whispered in my ear. "Wow, you are so different as Stefan."

I rolled off of her onto my back and sighed heavily. "What's wrong," she asked in a concerned voice. I refused to take the path she was offering me. We each needed more than this, and even though it would end badly no matter what her reaction, I was determined to see this through, for her sake more than my own. I stood, reached for her hand, and said, "the game is over, come with me".

She obediently took my hand and we left the bedroom. I led her to the hall bathroom where she kept her makeup supplies. I removed the false vampire teeth I had in and said, "I am sad because you think that playing Stefan makes me this way." I reached into one of the bags on the counter and fished out the wipes she used to remove makeup. I angrily wiped away the small bits of makeup she had applied to my eyes and tossed the wipe in the trash. "Take out your contacts," I instructed and she obeyed. When she finished, I reached into her mouth rather rudely and removed her false teeth as well.

"What are you doing," she asked suddenly concerned at my behavior.

"I am ending the Masquerade," I said pointedly. I moved her in front of me at the sink and picked up another makeup wipe and started to remove the lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, skin lightener and whatever else she use to create Elena. "I am also sad," I continued, "that you might think Elena makes me this way."

"It is not Elena that refuses to call me a nerd or a geek, even when she is teasing me ruthlessly."

"It is not Elena that taught me to dance."

Katie smiled at this, but I did not respond in kind, and simply continued removing makeup.