The Mills-Mathews nuptials were set for September first; Douglas was on the guest list and had every intention of attending. There was no doubt that's where he would find his wife.
Two weeks before the wedding, Sabrina followed the Mills back to London. Thankfully, Ellie had asked Sabrina to stay with her up until her wedding day. Ellie insisted that she needed Sabrina's words of wisdom and comfort, Sabrina knew that Ellie was aware of the fact that Sabrina had no where else to go.
Sabrina was not surprised when Marcus followed them, taking up residence in his townhouse not far from the center of things. He had kept his promise and arrived the morning after their kiss surprisingly sober and without the expected hangover.
"Practice," Marcus said when she asked him how he managed. "Lots and lots of practice."
They didn't speak of Marcus' mood or of their shared kiss. In fact, things fell back into place surprisingly easily. Marcus once again took to calling on Sabrina almost daily though their activities moved indoors as the weather cooled and often times included Ellie and her mother. Marcus had a surprising eye for color and wasn't afraid to voice his opinions.
More then once Marcus caught Beatrice's confused gaze falling on him, each time he simply shrugged and went back to entertaining the ladies.
The morning of the wedding dawned crisp and bright. It was a perfect day between summer and fall when the weather held its warmth without being hot. The wedding was to be held in the family church with most of the ton arriving for the event.
Sabrina smiled her thanks as Marcus escorted her to the family section and they took their seats. It was only when they were about half way through the ceremony that she felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle. Turning, she caught Douglas' narrowed gaze. Her heart beating hard, she turned to face forward, clasping her hands in her lap.
"He's been watching you since we arrived," Marcus bent over and whispered, knowing full well how it would look from where Lord Radcliff sat behind them.
Sabrina nodded but didn't say anything instead concentrating on the ceremony and wishing it would hurry along.
Douglas' jaw clenched at the sight of Lord Edington whispering in Sabrina's ear. Their easy familiarity with each other hadn't gone unnoticed as he watched them arrive and take a seat together.
Sabrina breathed a sigh of relief as the ceremony came to an end. Silently scolding herself, she reminded herself that this was her best friend's wedding and not the time to worry about Douglas. Not needing to feign happiness, Sabrina stepped forward and hugged Ellie, conscious of Marcus standing behind her. "Oh Ellie, congratulations!"
Ellie beamed. "It's wonderful, isn't it?! I just couldn't be happier."
"Congratulations, my lord, my lady," Marcus said, shaking Lord Mathews' hand and placing a chaste kiss on Ellie's cheek. "You look positively radiant."
"Thank you," Ellie said and turned with her new husband to accept additional congratulations from the rest of the guests.
"Get me out of here," Sabrina whispered, grateful when Marcus took her arm and led her from the church. It wasn't until they were safely seated in the carriage and on their way to the Mills' townhouse that she was able to take a deep breath and relax.
"You do know that he'll be at the reception and likely eager to speak with you," Marcus said. It was interesting watching Sabrina struggle with seeing her husband. He would have thought he'd be jealous but instead he felt something closer to concern. It wasn't like him to get involved with the women he was seeing - they were just affairs after all, temporary and transient. But Sabrina wasn't an affair (not for lack of trying) she was a friend and he hated to see her hurt.
"I know," Sabrina said and rested her head back against the seat.
"If you'd rather I can take you some place else," Marcus offered. His smile held a light reproach at the suspicious look she gave him. "No, not necessarily my place though that is always an option," he reminded her. "We could simply slip away for dinner some place quiet or I have a box at the theater."
"Tempting," Sabrina said, "but I would never forgive myself if I missed Ellie's wedding celebration."
"Of course," Marcus said. "Shall I leave you then to deal with Radcliff?" Marcus asked carefully.
"No," Sabrina said, shaking her head. "You were kind enough to agree to be my escort tonight, I won't throw you to the wolves," she said with some humor. She was all too aware of the fact that Marcus felt safer from the unmarried ladies and their matchmaking mamas with her around.
A number of guests had already arrived and were eagerly awaiting the bride and groom. There were also those that had not been invited to attend the ceremony but were to be included in the wedding celebration. Though Ellie's position would be that of Countess to a smaller estate, she and her family were well liked ensuring a fine turn out for her wedding.
Sabrina's hopes at getting lost within the crush were dashed as she felt a familiar hand on her arm. Turning, she came face to face with her husband for the first time since she'd left over a month ago. "Hello, Douglas."
"Sabrina." Douglas said, his eyes shifting from her to where Marcus stood beside her. "Edington."
"Radcliff," Marcus said.
Douglas waited for Edington to excuse himself, gritting his teeth when the man gave no indication of leaving. Turning his attention back to his wife he said, "We need to talk."
Sabrina froze her smile into place. "Perhaps, but now is not the time or the place."
"Then when do you suggest?" Douglas asked, hating the charade of polite conversation.
"Actually, I don't see that there is anything to talk about," Sabrina said.
"I disagree," Douglas said. His gaze flicked to Edington and back wondering at how much the man knew. "I would like the chance to explain and apologize."
"Apology accepted," Sabrina said. Her head was starting to pound with the effort it took to keep her smile firmly in place. She hated this, hated standing here face to face with Douglas and her feelings of betrayal. "As for the rest, I don't need an explanation. I'm sure you had very good reasons for everything. I'm also sure that I will never understand them. Now, if you'll excuse me."
"Sabrina, please," Douglas said, catching her arm as she turned away. "Please, just give me five minutes, if not now then tomorrow. If you don't want to hear me out then we at least need to discuss how we're to go on from here. You're still my wife," he said quietly.
"Very well," Sabrina said, her chest contracting painfully at the reminder of their marriage. "You may call on me here at eleven."
"Thank you," Douglas said but she was already gone. He watched as Edington escorted his wife from the ballroom. Tempted as he was to throw her over his shoulder and haul her back home, Douglas nevertheless forced himself to walk out, leaving his wife behind.
Sabrina allowed Marcus to pull her into an empty room, closing the door behind them, and into his arms. She hadn't realized that she was crying until he wiped the tears from her cheek.
"You should go back to him," Marcus said, watching as Sabrina worked to gather her composure. "It's obvious that you still care."
"I can't," Sabrina said.
"Was it so bad, whatever he did?" Marcus asked. They'd never talked about why Sabrina had left her husband just as they never spoke of Marcus' occasional bouts with the bottle.
"Yes," Sabrina said softly.
"Do you want to tell me?" Marcus asked. Sitting on the couch, he gently pulled her down onto his lap.
"No," Sabrina said. How to explain the pain and humiliation at having found herself married to the man that raped her? Resting her head on his shoulder, Sabrina tucked her face under his chin. "You smell good," she said.
Marcus felt a shiver of awareness. He had no intentions of starting something, of taking advantage of Sabrina's vulnerable state and had only intended to comfort. However, he couldn't stop his body from responding to her closeness or the suggestion in her voice.
Marcus felt his body tighten as Sabrina nuzzled the tender skin beneath his ear, her breath warm against his neck. "Sabrina," he said in warning.
"Hmmm..." she purred and touched her tongue to the tip of his earlobe before gently drawing it into her mouth. "You taste better then you smell."
Marcus knew he should get up, should stand up and dump her on the couch and walk away. She wasn't ready for him, wasn't ready for what an affair with him would do to her. But for all his noble thoughts Marcus was who he was and he was a man that wanted Sabrina.
Quickly, before he could change his mind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rolled them over onto the couch, covering her with his long form.
Sabrina shifted beneath him, parting her legs and cradling him between her thighs. Lifting her head, she met him in a kiss, their mouths searching and hungry. Her hands tugged at his jacket, slipping his cravat free and working on the buttons of his shirt.
Breaking their kiss, Marcus shrugged out of his coat and tossed it on the floor. Instead of recapturing her lips, he pressed his mouth to the generous mound of her cleavage; pulling at the thin material of her dress, he watched in fascination as her breasts sprang free.
Sabrina moaned low in her throat as she felt her breasts cupped and palmed gently. Arching her back, she pressed them more firmly into his hands. "Marcus, please."
"Is this what you want?" Marcus asked, dipping his head to circle one, tight nipple with his tongue.
"More," Sabrina said, tugging at his hair.
"Like this?" he asked and lapped at her with his tongue, chuckling as she whimpered in frustration. "Or this?" he asked and drew her nipple into his mouth, suckling hard.
Sabrina arched off the couch as Marcus' mouth pulled on her nipple, the sensation echoing between her legs. "Oh, god," she moaned as he moved from one nipple to the other repeating the process again and again.
Marcus shifted to his side and ran his hand up Sabrina's leg. The silk of her stockings tickled his palm until he reached the heat of her bare skin. Maintaining his hold on her nipple, he slipped his hand between her legs, moaning at the heat of her.
She was wet and swollen, the lips of her pussy slightly parted with desire revealing the tip of her clit. Marcus could feel her throbbing against his fingertips as he lightly stroked her folds. He wanted to taste her, to watch as she came apart at the end of his tongue.
Sabrina gave a small whimper of protest as Marcus removed his fingers not understanding until he started sliding his body lower. A moment later and realization dawned as he lifted her skirts and pressed her thighs apart.
Marcus looked up to find Sabrina watching him. Her eyes were bright staring at him over the tops of her bare breasts. He paused, giving her a chance to call a halt, a moment for the haze of desire to clear enough for her to remember herself. When no protests came, Marcus settled himself lower until he was able to press a kiss to the tender skin on the inside of her thigh.
Taking his time, he nibbled his way up the inside of her thigh passing over her core and down the other side before working his way back up. This time, when he reached the apex of her thighs he didn't hesitate. Pressing his face forward he stroked his tongue up the inside of her folds tasting her for the first time and drinking in her juices. She was sweet with an intoxicating feminine musk that grew slightly stronger as he licked and lapped at her.
Sabrina couldn't keep from moving; her body arched, hips thrusting and rocking as Marcus licked at her lips and sucked at her clit. Her hands grasped at the couch beneath her working to hold her to this world as her body threatened to shatter.
Reaching up and under her, Marcus grasped Sabrina by the hips holding her hard against this mouth. He could feel her starting to tighten beneath him, her thighs hugging his head between her legs. Answering her unspoken need, he sucked harder on her clit letting her feel the edge of his teeth.
That little bit of pain was all that she needed; Sabrina cried out as her body clamped down hard and shattered.
Marcus held her as Sabrina came apart in his arms. She was beautiful with her head thrown back and her lips parted, just as he knew she would be. Finally, as the last of the tremors passed, Marcus crawled back up her body, once again settling between her thighs.
Sabrina whimpered, her hips trusting upwards as Marcus pressed against her. Opening her eyes, she found him staring down at her. "Make love to me," she whispered.
Marcus closed his eyes and let his head drop to rest on her forehead. "No," he said and crawled off her. Taking a seat at the end of the couch he watched as she sat up, pushing her skirts back down around her. It took everything he had not to reach for her. His fists clenched on the top of his thighs as he wondered at the insanity of the moment. He'd never walked away from a willing women, never from a woman he wanted and he wanted Sabrina like no other.
"No?" Sabrina echoed in surprise. "Why not?"
"Because," Marcus said, surprised at himself. "You're not ready."
"Then what was this?" Sabrina asked, feeling slightly offended and very much confused.
"This," Marcus said, "was a distraction."
Sabrina swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I guess I should be grateful."
"Sabrina," Marcus said taking her hand and pulling her close to his side. "You know that I want you, I've been very clear about that from the beginning."
"So what's changed?" Sabrina asked.
"Nothing has changed," Marcus said, sensing the lie in his own words. "But as I said, you're not ready to embark on an affair. You're still tied to Radcliff and until you're free of him..." he left off with a shrug.
"He's my husband," Sabrina said quietly. "I will never be free of him."
"Maybe not, but I will not bed you until you make peace with him, with your decision to live separately." Marcus said, surprised at his own nobility.
Sabrina frowned. "Are you always this concerned with the state of your paramour's marriage?"
"No," Marcus said quietly. "But I've come to care for you too much to allow you to do something you will most certainly regret."
Sabrina picked at her skirt. "What if this is what I want?"
Marcus sighed, feeling his resolve weakening. His cock was still hard and throbbing and the taste of her still lingered on his lips. "If after you speak with Radcliff tomorrow you are still set on this course then I will introduce you to what it's like to live in my world."
"Isn't this your world?" Sabrina asked, motioning at their surroundings.
"No," Marcus' laugh was dark and jaded. "This is your world." Leaning over he kissed her quick and hard on the mouth. "I suggest you slip upstairs and have your maid help you straighten your clothes. As for me, I shall take my leave and await word from you tomorrow."
"Where are you going?" Sabrina asked. It was still early, the wedding celebration having all but just begun.
"The taste of you on my lips leaves me hungry for something that, right now, you cannot give me." Marcus stood, his arousal evident, and pulled her to her feet.
Sabrina wasn't sure what to say to that; she couldn't very well argue with him yet she didn't much care for the idea of Marcus taking his ease with another woman.
Marcus smiled wickedly at Sabrina's disgruntle expression, telling himself that it was best she realize exactly what kind of man she was contemplating getting into bed with.
Watching as Marcus walked out, Sabrina straightened her dress before returning to the wedding celebration. She stayed just long enough to see Ellie and her new husband off before retiring upstairs. She had a lot to think about before her meeting with Douglas.
Marcus left Sabrina feeling restless. He had every intention of continuing on to one of his clubs but found that he had no appetite for the coarse women he would find there. Instead, he changed direction and went in search of a bottle and a quiet came of cards. It was going to be a long night.
The next morning Sabrina arrived in the library to find Douglas waiting for her. Ignoring the maid as she set out the tea service, Sabrina walked to the sideboard and poured a large measure of brandy and handed it to Douglas before taking a seat.
"Thank you," Douglas said and took a sip. Watching Sabrina over the rim of his glass he noted her stiff carriage and careful movements. It struck him then that he had seen her like this once before, the night after he'd raped her.
Swallowing against the bitter taste the memory left in his mouth, Douglas asked, "Is there anything I can say so that you'll forgive me?"
Sabrina turned to look at him. "I don't know," she said, honestly.
"I am sorry," Douglas said. "Sorry about what happened and that I didn't tell you sooner."
"I know," Sabrina said softly.
"I wish you would let me explain," Douglas said, setting his glass aside.
"Which one of us would that make feel better, you or me?" Sabrina asked.
"Perhaps both, if it would help you to understand and forgive," Douglas offered.
"Douglas," Sabrina said, "I already suspect that it was my father that ruined your mother and I can understand why you would be hurt and angry and why you would seek revenge." Realizing that her tea had gone cold without her having taken a sip, Sabrina set it aside. "The irony is that you failed, miserably."
Sabrina laughed without humor. "If you thought to get to my father by ruining me then you misjudged your target. I was the one to suffer," she said. "My father simply accepted the matter and moved on."
Sabrina was quiet for a moment but Douglas sensed she had more to say.
"What I don't understand," she said. "Is why marry me? How did that fit into your plan?"
"It didn't," Douglas said. "I married you because I fell in love with you."
Sabrina shook her head in denial. "No."
"Yes," Douglas insisted. "I think it started that second night, when you stood before me and asked me to make love to you - to show you the pleasure you thought never to have for yourself. You were beautiful and brave and scared yet so determined to carve out a piece of something good from the pain I had caused."
Douglas stood and started to pace. "But I was still just the bastard son of a duke and a courtesan. I think, had the situation been different, I would have kept you with me and tried to convince you to stay."
Sabrina sat and stared, trying to digest this new bit of information. Up until that moment she had assumed that everything, including their marriage, had been part of Douglas' revenge against her father.
"Do you believe me?" Douglas asked.
"Perhaps," Sabrina said slowly.
"What more can I say or do to convince you?" Douglas asked.
"How you feel is only part of it," Sabrina said. "What about how I feel?"
"How do you feel?" Douglas asked.
"I don't know," Sabrina said. Turning away, she admitted, "I had thought myself in love with you."
Douglas felt his hope soar. "Love is not so easily destroyed."
"No," Sabrina said. "But how do I trust my feelings for you when everything from our first meeting to our marriage was manipulated? You knew who I was that first night when you asked me to dance. You knew that my father would be hard pressed to turn down your offer of marriage and that I would likely accept any chance at marriage and a family. You knew all of it and used it to get what you wanted."
"Yes, but that doesn't change how I feel about you," Douglas insisted.
"It changes how I feel about you," Sabrina snapped.
Douglas blinked at the harsh reality of her words.
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