My thanks as usual go to Techsan for having a look over this one before I repost it.
Only one thing that he came up with that might cause some confusion. He wanted me to use the word pavement, where I have chosen to use the word tarmac. A pavement in the UK is where pedestrians walk (A Side walk to all you colonials). Although they can be surfaced with tarmacadam the same as car parks can, as is the case in this story.
Back in those days I had considered myself to be a bit of a Don Juan, sowing my wild oats wherever I could. Well, anyone that lived through the later part of the sixties will remember what it was like back then. Free Love, they called it, the Pill had been invented, was becoming widely available and there was no HIV to worry about back then. Yes, there were other things you could pick up, but a couple of trips to the clinic normally sorted those out.
Christ, if it had two legs and a skirt, you shagged it. That is, unless you were in Scotland, of course.
If you had any sense, you popped down to 'The Clinic' every couple of months where, if you'd been unlucky, they gave you a couple of jabs in the arse (painful I can tell you). But generally there wasn't too much to worry about.
Anyway one day I was at "The Lido", no more than a disused reservoir really, that had been turned over to a leisure and boating lake, when this vision of beauty caught my eye. She was wearing one of the tiniest of bikinis that I'd ever seen and it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
My first sight of her made me sit up, in all senses of the word. Whilst my fellow lechers were still taking in her beauty, I was on my feet and in for the kill.
Unfortunately, this beauty who's name turned out to be Jean, was well aware of me and my reputation before I even knew she existed. She told me to sling my hook in no uncertain terms and using some pretty charming colloquial language.
But I was smitten and my days of shagging anything that moved were over. Thoughts of Jean filled my every waking moment.
I was to spend the next year or so in my pursuit of her. Strangely enough after that first meeting at the Lido, I seemed to run into Jean just about everywhere I went. Maybe it was that I was just aware of her now and was consciously looking for her. Regrettably, she would always tell me to get lost in the most colloquial (but not very lady like) of terms every-time I tried to chat her up.
I think if it were today, I would probably have been called a stalker, as I would swing past her house every chance I got, trying to catch a glimpse of her. I think I would be safe in saying Jean wasn't too enamoured with my efforts to win her favour.
But she had stolen my heart and I just couldn't get her out of my mind. Jean of course was dating other guys, and it would break my heart to see her with them. Still, I persisted!
Then one day I had gone to a Pub that I just happened to know she and her latest boyfriend were frequenting. It was out in the country and not too crowded. As usual she gave me a black look when she saw me in the bar, but her boyfriend was apparently unaware of my presence.
I couldn't hear their conversation but Jean was not looking very happy with him that evening. I could see that he was putting it away a bit, and I wasn't too keen on him driving my goddess home having put that much drink down his throat. It was around ten-thirty that they got up to leave.
I gave them plenty of time to get out the door, before I made my move to go home. I'm not a voyeur, I had no intention of watching them make out. But when I got out to my car I just happened to notice that Jean's date's car had not left the car park. He had driven over to a dark corner someway away from the Pub's buildings.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I didn't get into my car. I just watched to see how long they were going to stay there making out. After a while there was some movement in the car, and it rocked around a bit. I had visions of him shagging the arse off of Jean, but what the hell could I do? She wasn't my girl!
Then suddenly I thought I heard a scream. No, I definitely did hear a scream. Then I heard another one. My brain switched off and instinct took over. I was running over to the guy's car, before I knew it. As I got closer I could hear Jean shouting.
"No! No! Get off me, you bloody bastard!"
I could hear him shouting as well but couldn't make out what the hell he was saying. I got to the car just in time to see him land a back hander across Jean's face. Incensed, I yanked the car door open and dragged him out by his collar. He landed in a heap on the tarmac in front of me. In the dim light I could see that Jean's clothes were torn, most of her assets were now on display and she was crying.
I didn't actually hit the guy. I just kind-of dropped onto my knees, landing both of them in his stomach. He kind of rolled into a ball and lay there quietly moaning.
Jean was trying to cover herself and with a deft movement, I chivalrously slipped my jacket off and handed it to her.
"I know you don't like the idea, Jean. But I think you had better let me take you home tonight," I said.
Jean slowly got out of the car and began walking; she seemed to be in a daze and I had to physically guide her over to my own car. The jacket wasn't covering very much, so I put a travelling rug over the lower half of her body once she had got in.
"You're not looking too good, girl. Would you like me to go and get you a brandy or something," I suggested.
"Home," she whispered. So I drove her to her house.
As I pulled into her driveway I was getting just a little bit apprehensive. Her parents were well aware of my unwelcome pursuit of their daughter. And here I was bringing her home, in a state of shock and virtually naked. Jean was just sitting there staring through the windscreen. I jumped out of my car and battered on the door. Then went back and opened the car door for Jean, but she wasn't moving, she just sat and stared.
Jean's father came out and on seeing me standing in his drive, demanded to know what the fuck I wanted. Then he saw that I was lifting his daughter from the car and came to help me. Between us we carried her inside and placed her on a sofa in the lounge.
"That bastard she went out with tonight attacked her," was all I could think of to say.
"How do we know you didn't do this?" Jean's mother demanded.
"Don't be silly, woman. He might act like a bloody idiot. But he wouldn't be stupid enough to bring her home in this condition if he'd done it to her. Now go and make Jean some tea. No, better see if we can get some brandy down her. I'm going to call the police."
I said that I had better be leaving, but Jean's farther said the police would want to know what had happened and Jean was in no condition to talk.
Then he said, "By the look of you, you could do with a Brandy too, boy."
The police arrived quite quickly, explaining that they had already been on their way. A guy had been found with serious injuries, laying by a car in a pub car park, some torn women's clothing had been found in his car, along with Jean's handbag.
I began to explain what had happened and next thing I know, I'm down at the 'Nick'. Jean's attacker was apparently suffering from a ruptured kidney and a busted spleen; it seems that these were quite serious injuries and he was going to be in hospital for a long time.
The police were talking Grievous Bodily Harm, and I was shitting myself! A few terrifying hours later, Jean's father turned up at the Police Station with a solicitor, and I was on my way home.
I made the decision that night, that although I thought I was in love with Jean, I was going to back right off.
Christ, I could finish up doing serious time because of that girl. I'm no bloody hero; I just wanted a nice quiet life.
In the end, the GBH charge was dropped against me in return for Jean dropping the assault and attempted rape charges against the Wanker. Back in those days the police used to do the prosecuting; if you didn't push things, they tended to let things go.
I stayed well away from Jean from then on. I told my friends that she was just too much trouble and that I was back playing the field again. In the weeks that followed I didn't get that much in the way of action though. Playing the bloody hero had got me too well known locally.
So for the next few months, I just kind of hung around, playing Gooseberry on my friends and spoiling their action. Then a friend asked me to go on a blind date, as his girlfriend wanted someone to go out with her friend from work.
Oh, yeah, I thought, I've been caught like that before. What kind of a dog had they lined me up with this time?
My friend's girl insisted that my date was a nice girl. She said that she was sure I would like her when I met her. With some reluctance, I agreed to go and we all arranged to meet in one of the local pubs on the Friday evening.
I arrived early. I thought I would get a couple of drinks down me up front. If I were to be lumbered with a dog, a couple more drinks and with any luck, I wouldn't notice what she looked like by the end of the evening.
I was sitting at a table waiting for the others to arrive, when who should walk through the door, but Jean.
'Shit!' I thought and tried to disappear into the corner.
'Bugger!' She spotted me straight away, and she came strolling over to my table.
"Hi, Pete! Aren't you going to offer to buy me a drink?"
"I would have thought that after your last episode, you wouldn't go taking drinks from strangers. Anyway, my date will be here any minute and she might get upset if I'm drinking with another woman when she arrives. Wouldn't you be?"
"I don't think your date will get upset at all, because she's already here. But she will get upset quite quickly if you don't buy her a drink."
I don't know; I must be bloody thick or something. But I didn't get what she was talking about for a minute. But then I realised that I'd been stitched up and Jean was my blind date. I bought her a drink and we settled down to talk. Jean told me the others weren't coming. And that she had arranged this meeting because she wanted to talk to me. She said she had called my home quite a few times, but I hadn't returned her calls. She was beginning to think I was avoiding her.
"I didn't get to thank you for what you did for me that night," she said.
"I don't need any thanks. I didn't think about what I did whilst I was doing it. I was acting on instinct. Most people would have done the same thing."
"But you aren't most people, are you? You were my guardian angel that night and a gentleman too! I will never forget the way you gave me your jacket and wrapped that blanket around me. I could see that you were trying not to look at my naked body. You looked so funny!"
"I got an eyeful when I opened the car door. I was just trying not to upset you any more than you already were. From the way you had been acting towards me, I thought that having me staring at your tits would be the last thing you needed. I was stupid to keep chasing you like I did."
"If you hadn't been following me, I would have been raped that night. Maybe even killed! My mum says that probably I owe you my life."
"Don't be silly you owe me nothing. I was just the twerp who was in the right place at the right time for once in his life. Look, I spent over a year making you hate me, so I figure what I did should make us even. You don't have to worry any more; I don't intend to pester you in the future."
"Now that I do find worrying. I had got quite used to you being around, and just why should I hate you? To be honest it had become a little game for me, trying to work out when and where you were going to show up. Some of the blokes I went out with were so dammed boring, it was fun knowing you were going to appear sometime."
"Well, you won't have play that game anymore; I know when I'm beat. I'm going to set my sights a little lower in the future. Now, do want me to give you a lift home."
"What are you talking about, give me a lift home? We are supposed to be on a date, aren't we? Christ, Peter, you spend god knows how long trying to get me to go out with you, and when we do go on a date, you are going to take me home after half an hour. Don't you like me anymore? Have I grown horns and a tail or something? Or was it that you didn't like what you saw that night when you saw me in the flesh, so to speak?"
"Oh, God, no! Damn you, Jean, I have been in love with you since I first saw you at the Lido. It's just that you have always given me the impression I was the last person you would ever go out with. I thought you only came here tonight to thank me, as we have not seen each other since that night."
"You are a fool, Pete. And you are right; I didn't want to know the Casanova who tried to chat me up at the Lido. But that's not the man that's sitting here with me tonight, is it? The man that cried as he drove me home after he saved me from that monster. The man that was more worried about me than his own safety. No disrespect to you, Pete, but that Pratt was well over six-foot; he could well have whipped the floor with you, had he got the chance. My dad and the policeman both said they couldn't believe how you bettered him.
"I couldn't talk on that journey home because I just didn't know what to say to you. You were supposed to be the bad boy. You will never know the relief I felt when I saw your face at the car door. I was thinking of all the times that I had told you to piss off, and the other insults I had thrown at you. Now I was thanking God that you were there. It took me days to work out that I loved you and when I...."
"What do you mean, you love me? You have never said a civil word to me since we first met."
"Let me finish, will you. I have always liked you. I just didn't like what you were in the beginning. But as time went on I got used to that cheeky smile of yours. Then you were always saying hi and things at the wrong time. Just to wind me up and upset my boyfriends. Just like my little brother John does. But then I realised I don't hate my brother, I love him. When he's not there, I miss him, and when you're not there I was missing you. When you opened that car door that night, I knew that I loved you."
"Now don't be silly, girl, you were just relieved and grateful that I was there to rescue you. You mustn't mistake that for love."
"There, you see what I mean. The old Pete wouldn't have thought twice. It would have been, 'She's grateful, now can I use that to get into her knickers?' Come on, be honest. I'm telling the truth, aren't I?"
"Well, if we're being honest? You're probably right. There was a time when I would have had your knickers off before you realised what was happening. But I suppose people change, I don't think I've conned a shag out of a girl in ages."
"And there's only one girl you're going to be shagging from now on, and that's me. Don't you realise, you've done what you set out to do at the Lido that day, and you've scored, Pete. But I'll warn you now; I'm not going to let you get away once you've fucked me. You'll be mine forever, whether you like it or not. Now you can take me home, and I can introduce my parents to my future husband. You don't appear to be running away . Can I assume we have a deal?"
I was flabbergasted; I loved her. I had never even held her hand or kissed her. But I loved her I so much, I sat in the bar with tears running down my face. She moved and sat beside me, we hugged and kissed for God knows how long. In the end, the Pub's Governor came over and asked if we could cool it down a bit or he would have to put and X certificate on the door.
So I took Jean home, where she made me formally ask her father for her hand. Both her parents were as pleased as punch. We courted for another year or so whilst Jean and her parents planned an extravagant wedding,
Jean, her brother John, myself and anyone else we could con into helping us refurbished the little terraced house that we found. Jean had decided that she wasn't going to have any children until she was thirty.
"We will have some fun first. Then four children I think," she announced.
I said, "I'd be happy if we stopped at two."
"I think four would be better!" Jean always had the last word.
It was about two years after our marriage, at Jean's brother's stag night that I found out that there was a little more to Jean than meets the eye.
John's bride to be was three months gone with twins, and we were ribbing him about making an early start on a football team. John said that two was going to be enough for him, and I said that's all anyone would want.
John replied, "You and Jean are going to have four children."
I replied that it was open for discussion.
John laughed. "For Christ's sake Pete, you've been married to her for two years. Haven't you discovered yet that what Jean wants, Jean gets! By now!"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, she got you, didn't she?"
"No, I chased her for nearly two bloody years before I got a date with her."
"Oh, dear. You still don't know our Jean, do you, Pete?"
"Look, I think you've drunk too much already. You're talking nonsense."
John stood up and dragged me over to a table in the corner.
"Now sit down. I'm going to tell you what I should have told you years ago. Jean had picked you out for herself when you were both in junior school."
"What the hell are you talking about, John. I didn't even know Jean when we were in school."
"I'm not saying you did, but she knew you. She was ten and I was eight at the time. I used to follow her round like a bloody puppy. One day I heard her telling her friend that she was going to marry Pete Derwint. Her friend didn't know who you were, so Jean pointed you out to her. You were a year older than Jean. So you left the school during that summer, to go to secondary school."
"I didn't hear her mention you by name for a good few years after that. Then Jean suddenly took up an interest in ten-pin bowling. She would drag me along, as it was easier for her to con the money out of dad if we both went.
"Can you think of anyone that was into bowling a few years back? Its funny we always seemed to go bowling on your league nights. Unfortunately for Jean you never even noticed her, but not for want of her trying. She would bump into you, stand behind you in queues and was always in your way when you were on the pool tables. Unfortunately for Jean, you just never seemed to notice her. It was like she didn't exist in your world. Jean would get very mad, and call you all the names under the sun on our way home. After some time you gave up going bowling and guess what, so did we."
"A few more years went by, but Jean was still after you. When she was with her girlfriends, I remember your name being mentioned quite often. And a girl called Pauline Roberts was given a real hard time of it, because she was supposed to be going out with you, but showed up for Jean's birthday party without you."
"Anyway, suddenly one nice sunny summer's day Jean announces that we are going to 'the Lido'. She dragged her whole gang up there and of course I had to go too. Well, she needed to get the cash to go out of dad. When we got there we sat around and sun bathed in our swimsuits. Then I heard one Jean's friends say she'd seen you down by the café. Jean had been wearing a one-piece swim suite up until then, but the moment she heard you were there. She went and changed into this tiny little bikini that she bought for our holidays the year before. It was much too small for her. She had only worn it once because it was so revealing and she was embarrassed.
"Anyway once she had changed into it; she set off for the café. Christ, she hooked you like a bloody fish. Your tongue was virtually hanging out when you followed her back. You spent the rest of the afternoon trying to chat her up, but she was having none of it!