Entertaining at Large Ch. 04

Our main course finished we were given fresh menus.

'Are you having desert?'

'No Mr J, I'm going for pudding. I've ridden about forty miles this morning I need the calories.'

He laughed.

'I like a woman who trusts her own needs. I seem to have spent my life surrounded by people suffering under the jackboot of a diet.'

'I know what you mean. I was a bit like that when I was married.'

'Oh dear. Then perhaps you are better off without him. You are the most self-assured, confident woman I know. I can't imagine you pandering to anyone.'

I was a bit taken aback. Having spent the last few days doing nothing but vacillating over this and that and then worrying about why I had done what I had done, I felt anything but confident.

'Do you really mean that?'

He picked up my serious tone.

'I do. In many ways I find you inspirational.'

'Come on.'

'I do. You live life on your own terms; do what seems right to you; you seldom judge others -- present company excepted.'

A child at the far end of the room started screaming and the parent shouting at it was making almost as much noise.

'Go on.'

'And I was just going to add that you are generous to a fault always willing to do what you can to help others out.'

'That's so sweet. Wrong, but sweet anyway. Thank you.'

I squeezed his hand across the table and we smiled into each other's eyes until my fruit crumble and custard arrived and I had to adjust my priorities.

'Why do you say I'm wrong? I've only known you a few weeks really but I could give you several examples.'

I nodded to encourage to go on, the crumble was furnace-hot and I didn't trust myself to try and speak.

'Take me. I know you saw me watching you undress. Most women would just have closed the curtains and cold-shouldered me, or worse, called the police.'

I laughed. Difficult with a mouthful of scalding fruit pudding.

'OK, so I guessed you were satisfying something in yourself as well, but the care and dedication you put in to developing your tease was fantastic.'

I managed to swallow the crumble at last and put down my spoon to let the rest cool a little.

'Yes. But that was for me. I didn't really care what your needs were.'

'Don't belittle what you did. You let me start doing jobs for you; let us become friendly. You didn't treat me like a pervy old man who should be ostracised.'

'But I do think of you as a pervy old man. They're just the sort I like.'

Our laughter lightened the mood which was becoming a bit intense. I started shovelling crumble into my mouth and raised my eyebrows to indicate he should continue.

'Which brings us to the blow job, or yesterday's hand job. You saw a way to give me pleasure, perhaps calculating that there was little risk to your own reputation, and you more than satisfied me without looking for anything for yourself.'

I shook my head from side-to-side. I'm not sure I could agree. He frowned at me.

'Or Friday. You took me there out of kindness and to help your friends but ended up stripping because the landlord was in a jam after that poor girl injured her ankle.'

I put down my spoon and swigged the rest of the wine in preparation for a devastating rebuttal. But some of the bubbles went up my nose and I ended up in a monumental sneezing, coughing and choking fit of such proportions that even the babies stopped crying and gave us icy looks. I laughed it off and waved away the proffered napkin.

'Alright. You got me. I'm a saint. A saint with no knickers, but a modern day Mother Suzette nevertheless. But rest assured, that's not the way I see myself at all.'

We smiled smiles of truce at each other. I turned down a second pudding, tempting though it was, and called for the bill. We had an amicable tussle over it, me trying to make him go Dutch, he insisting it was his treat. He won. It was already getting dark when we returned to the car. We hugged coats closer around ourselves and shivered until the heating in Mr J's ancient Austin was up to power.

'You doing anything for the rest of the afternoon Mr J?'

'Not really. I usually have an afternoon nap, especially after a blow out like that.'

I laughed, perhaps too much; the best part of a bottle of Prosecco can make you do that.

'Blow out. You sound like you're in the lower fourth at Greystokes or wherever. I was going to invite you in for some coffee and perhaps a brandy. I'd like to continue our conversation if you don't mind. There's a couple of things I'd like to run past you. As a friend.'

'That would be very convivial. The coffee should wake me up. But nothing too saucy in the car if you don't mind. I have enough trouble concentrating on the road as it is.'

I think my initial silence gave him a hint as to what sort of chat I was after. We joked about the worst presents we'd ever received all the way home. Back at the house I gulped down two glasses of water to counteract the effects of the wine and put extra coffee in the machine, I was not exactly firing on all cylinders myself. I shooed him into the front room with a couple of glasses and told him to find the booze. I followed him with the coffee when it was done and closed the curtains to exclude the winter gloom. We sat in companionable silence staring into the fire.

'I hope you didn't mind me opening the brandy. It looks expensive.'

'Not at all. Dave and I used to buy spirits at Xmas and as I was doing the shopping I just put them in the trolley automatically. Most of it will be there until next Xmas unless the lads worm their way back in here before that.'

'They're nice boys, but they do like their booze.'

'Didn't take you long to get their number, did it?'

We laughed as I told him again how I became the league's only female goalkeeper and other tales of evening shenanigans down at the Crown and Anchor.

'Do you think they were shocked by your act the other night?'

I thought about it again.

'No. It worried me a bit before I went on. I love having them as mates, they're a great laugh, and I didn't want sex messing that up.'

'Could it?'

'I doubt it. I've had messages from all of them saying what a good time they had. Nothing dirty or anything.'

'I think you're right. When Tracy was on they were all talking about having sex with her in the car park and what have you.'

I very much doubted those were the words they used, but let it pass.

'When you went on, they just said how brave you were.'

He grinned.

'That and how nice your breasts are. I think Wot is a real fan.'

'He is isn't he? He'd been trying to get me to that for ages. Probably ask for my autograph on Wednesday.'

We laughed again.

'You said you wanted to run a few things past me.'

'You're sure you don't mind.'

'Of course not. We're friends and that's what friends are for. If it gets too, well, intimate I shall tell you. OK?'

'Thanks.'

We were sitting opposite each other beside the fire. He leaned forwards expectantly in his armchair waiting. I took a deep breath, and a large slug of brandy, I had to look down at my hands before I could make myself speak.

'You said I was confident and self-assured. Well I'm not. I scare myself sometimes and feel like I'm out of my depth when I'm doing stuff. I threw up before I stripped on Friday. I feel like I should be ashamed or something.'

'And do you?'

'No. Definitely not. But part of me feels like I ought to be. I don't know how I'd react if people found out and, you know, started saying things.'

I ran out of steam and grabbed my coffee cup for security. I took a quick glance up at Mr J. He was sitting there frowning his fingers steepled in front of his pursed lips. I waited for him to speak.

'I watched you with Tracy yesterday. You were like a scared kitten.'

'I didn't know what to do.'

'Did you feel like that the first time you took your clothes off in front of people?'

'I was drunk.'

'But how did you feel?'

'A bit bolder, I suppose, but yep once I realised what I was doing I was really nervous.'

When I glanced up again he was smiling reassuringly. I felt myself relax a little.

'And has anything bad happened as a consequence of your, shall we say, experiments?'

'Not really. I got divorced after an affair, but I think the marriage was kaput quite a while before that.'

'And once you've done these things you obviously really like them.'

'Yes.'

'And you would stop if you didn't, right?'

I didn't really need him to say "what's the problem, then?" it was good just to be able to talk to someone. But at the back of my mind there was still an itch, something I was uncertain about.

'But what about the other stuff. I really like pain, you saw what Tracy was doing to me, and Luke at the Crown. That's not normal is it?'

Mr J let out a deep sigh.

'What's normal? Spanking and, well whatever Tracy was doing to you, is not the sort of thing I have ever done. But you obviously enjoy it, so why not? As long as it's consensual and you know when to stop...'

'What's the problem?'

'Took the words right out of my mouth. More coffee?'

'You forgot to add "vicar".'

Our laughter was cathartic and we busied ourselves offering each other drinks and making jokes about sore bottoms. When we settled again I made myself take on a more serious tone.

'I saw the look on yours and Tracy's faces when I mentioned golden showers.'

'We've all got our limits.'

'What do you mean?'

'I thought about it last night. There's just something about it which is just humiliation. Peeing on someone.'

I could see it was difficult for him to even talk about it, but I was trying to understand my own feelings.

'Even if the other person consents.'

'Well I suppose I could at a pinch; if I was bursting but it's definitely not my cup of wee.'

We both made mock ha-ha's in acknowledgement of the phenomenally awful pun. I decided to drop the subject. I could talk to Luke about it maybe, he had started the whole thing. Somewhere inside me though I knew I was going to try it. Possibly just once, and definitely with someone I could trust.

'I guess what you're saying then is the problem rests with other people. It's finding people who'll respect you and indulge you even if they might not approve of the way you live your life.'

'Precisely. My advice would be to do what you want to do. Follow your urges. One day you'll be as old as me and wishing you'd done more.'

He looked a little wistful so I went over and kissed the top of his head and poured him another brandy.

'You've had your moments though?'

'I'm not complaining. I've had a happy life. Good friends, a great marriage but we all have our "what-if?" moments.

'I don't think Tracy does.'

Then the dam of our pent up emotional tension really burst. I literally fell to the floor, doubled up with laughter. Mr J lay back in his chair and guffawed so much his face was almost purple. I told him about finding her in the Ladies with her second boy of the night. He explained she had just grabbed him and started sucking him off when she say he was hard after looking at the pictures in his magazines.

'Is there a polite word for blow job?'

'I think it's fellatio, I seem to remember finding it in the school dictionary when I was whatever age you are when looking up dirty words is the height of entertainment. But frankly by the time I'm getting ready to do it the period of polite conversation is long over.'

He smiled at that and nodded sagely.

'Sometimes I wish I was more like Tracy. She just does what she feels like. I was thinking earlier I haven't actually been fucked properly for months. You know in a bed.'

'Tracy. No. She's a force of nature, she acts on instinct, does what she feels at the time and takes the consequences later.'

'Must be nice though.'

'Hard. Very hard. I bet she gets hurt a lot, and hurts others too, not intentionally of course.'

'She's a girl who needs good friends. I think I might be becoming one of them. I like her a lot.'

'Me too. I'm very fond of her.'

We laughed again at her absolute nonchalance, her ability to chat inconsequentially whilst being pleasured.

'Why don't you have sex as often as you'd like? An attractive woman like you?'

'Oh you know.'

'Quite frankly I don't. You must get propositioned all the time.'

'Not exactly. But I've had my offers.'

'Well if it's any compensation I haven't had sex for years, maybe a decade. You get over it.'

He looked slightly crestfallen, but I appreciated his openness and tried to buoy his spirits.

'Excuse me, Romeo. Wasn't that you I saw having "fellatio" committed on their person yesterday; and wasn't that your cock spurting all over my hand that same afternoon?'

'Sorry. I thought you were talking about going to bed with someone? In that case let me brag: I've had more sex in the past few weeks that I had in the previous decade. Even a shag on a kitchen table.'

He pasted a smug look on his face and sat back looking triumphant. I made a decision.

'We're a sad pair aren't we?'

'Yes we are. Why don't we do something about it?'

'What do you mean?'

He looked genuinely puzzled.

'You said you usually go to bed on a Sunday afternoon. Why don't we go together and shag each other silly?'

'You're serious?'

His face lit up. I held out a hand to him.

'Look matey, another thing my mum told me is "never fuck on the first date". Come on before I change my mind.'

'Well you did tell me you'd teach me how to go down on a woman -- cunnilingus, I mean -- perhaps we could start there.'

He took my hand and I led him upstairs.

Once in the bedroom I sensed he was getting cold feet. He stood just inside the door where I had released his hand as I went to close the curtains. I indicated he should sit on the bed before I pulled my dress over my head and threw it on the chair in the corner.

'Unusual for me to take my clothes off with the curtains drawn.'

I sat next to him smiling and took one of his hands in mine. I could feel the tension in his body, so I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. He didn't respond at first but then shyly his lips parted a little and we began to explore each other's mouths. I rested the hand I had been holding on my thigh and softly began to stroke the outside of his. He still felt twitchy and nervous so when we took a natural break from the snogging I made another suggestion to him.

'If you're going to lick my pussy I ought to have a shower. Some men don't like the taste, I want to be as fragrant as possible for you. Why don't we take one together, it will help us both relax?'

I tentatively got to my feet. He tentatively got to his.

'Have you always worn such old-fashioned lingerie?'

'Ever since I started stripping for you. You like it?'

'I love it. It reminds me of...'

He stopped suddenly. I finished his sentence.

'... the girls in your magazines?'

'You took the words right out of my mouth.'

I turned on the shower and took off my underwear. I noticed Mr J was enjoying watching.

'You getting undressed too? It is customary when you're going to shower.'

He jumped as if he had been poked and started unbuttoning his shirt whilst trying to kick off his shoes at the same time. It was a recipe for disaster and I caught him as he stumbled. I managed the buttons while he concentrated on the shoes. We kissed again when we had finished and I eased him out of his shirt. But suddenly the sound of the running water got to me.

'Sorry Mr J, I'm busting for a piss. You're welcome to stay and watch but I'll understand if you don't want to.'

'I'll stop for a bit; see how it goes.'

He smiled gently, but I had no time for niceties and started urinating as soon as my bum hit the seat. I saw he was staring so slowly eased my legs apart, I looked aside so he wouldn't feel he was under scrutiny but slowly eased a finger down into the stream.

'The last guy who watched me wanted to taste it. You can too if you want.'

I put my finger into my mouth. It didn't taste too bad actually somehow salty and sour at the same time.

'I think I'll give that a miss. I've gone far enough for one day.'

'That's fine.'

I was relieved that my bladder was at last empty and I jumped up to check on the shower.

'Come on. Out of those trousers. It's time to get up close and soapy.'

I stepped into the shower and half-closed the door. I watched him struggle out of the rest of his clothes and take a tentative step towards me. I pushed myself back against the cold shower wall to give the impression of greater room. He stepped in and I pushed the door closed. He smiled down at me and we started to adjust elbows and knees, apologising each time we touched. In the end I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him again. The warm water washed over both of us and I felt him slide his arms behind me and onto my arse. I pushed against him. I could feel his prick floppy, but stiffening, as it slipped against my slick skin.

We moved around under the stream stumbling and hitting the walls of the shower as we struggled with sponge and gel. I soaped down the old man. His body was not too bad. His skin felt soft and loose in places, but his muscles were firm; there were tufts of thin grey hair on his chest and under his armpits. I kissed his neck while soaping his hair then ran my hand down to cradle his now hard cock and balls in my hand.

All this time I could feel his hands exploring my body. They kept returning to my breasts, cradling hem as if weighing each one then stroking the nipples until they were hard and shining under the stream. We kissed periodically and I could feel him running his hands over my bottom and slipping his fingers down between the cheeks. I pressed back against his fingers when he did this willing him to push harder against my anus. But he was a perfect gentleman. He didn't even touch my slit. All I could feel there was the water running over my tummy and down my legs.

I took his hand and squeezed a little gel into his palm. I had abandoned soap after finding one of Dave's condoms stuck to my bar on his last day living in the house. I quickly pushed Mr J's hand down between my legs.

'Make sure it's nice and clean.'

I kissed his neck again, holding my body away from him to give him space to manoeuvre. I groaned as his hand pressed over my clit and smoothly down over my pussy. He soon slipped a finger inside me, I was wet inside and out. I pushed and wriggled against him as he probed encouraging him with light kisses on his face and neck and squeezing his buttocks and back.

Eventually he pulled out of me and, reaching for the shampoo, began to massage my head. I held it back out of the stream and closed my eyes for protection against the soap. I circled my neck as his strong fingers pushed against my scalp and through my medium length hair. It was sensual and soothing. I felt I could have stayed there all day. The slap of his dick against my thigh brought me back to the moment and I pushed my head forward under the stinging water and shook it gently to wash away the suds. I only bashed him in the face twice.

'Enough?'

'I think so.'

'Then on to the main course.'

I squeezed his cock one last time and reached for the control to twist off the flow. I stepped quickly out and reached for a towel. I passed another to my guest and we dried ourselves enthusiastically, smiling and exchanging the occasional pecked kiss. I shivered and slipped in to my second-best towelling gown. I unhooked the other from behind the door and helped him wrestle in to it.

'Pretty in pink.'

'My favourite colour.'

The grins were now permanent and he stepped much more eagerly back to the bedroom with me. I turned off the main light and the room was bathed now only in the soft warm light from the side lights over the headboard. I tossed down a pillow onto the floor by the bed and then threw myself backwards onto the mattress.