Equation

I could tell that Kaye's effort to appeal to his logic was only causing him to become more agitated and his threats toward Judy were becoming more pronounced. I had to force his attention on me to give Judy a chance.

"Hey Charlie, I'm the one you need to deal with. I'll give you everything I've got just so long as you don't hurt Judy. Let her go, and you and I can make the deal and everybody can walk away from this."

All the time I was talking I was inching toward him in as non threatening a way as I could. I couldn't help by notice the fear of Judy's face. The light of recognition appeared on Charlie's face.

"Yeah, I know you. You're the sorry son of a bitch who took this slut away from me. Yeah, you want her, you're gonna have to pay me for her."

Judy tried to break free and he brandished the knife near her throat. It was now or never. My hand shot forward and gripped the wrist of his knife hand. I quickly brought my other hand to bear the knife away from Judy.

Surprised by my move, Charlie had to let go of Judy to defend himself against my attack. Judy scrambled free and ran to Kaye. "Run!" I yelled to Kaye and I turned my attention to Charlie as we continued to struggle for the knife. It was an unfair contest, I had spent my life in sedentary lifestyles and Charlie, bulked up from prison exercising was making a mockery of my efforts.

The knife flashed and I gasped from the pain and the spray of blood from my arm. I quickly retreated to the door. I had to buy time for Kaye and Judy to get away. As long as I guarded the exit, the better their chances were. Charlie was only concerned with hurting me as he came toward me. I had to disobey the old adage that you run from a knife fight. If I ran away, Charlie would catch Kaye and Judy. I couldn't let that happen.

Again the knife swiped me and I felt the warm stickiness of my blood oozing on my shirt from the wound in my torso. Then again another cut and another as Charlie was enjoying maiming his prey. I was starting to feel woozy. Still I held my ground and now Charlie sensed like a trapped animal the need to escape. He rushed me and bowled me over. I clinched him and rode down to the floor with my tackle. Desperately, I was holding his knife away from me with both hands and Charlie was using his free hand to smash repeatedly in my face.

I was losing, I had failed. Just like I had failed all my life. I had lost Laura and now I was going to lose Kaye. My vision was blurring as my strength ebbed away. Nothing was going to stop the inevitable. My last view was the triumphant look on Charlie's face as he prepared to slide the knife into my body and finish me.

"DON'T HURT MY DADDY!" I heard Judy yell and the words pained me more than any of my injuries as I felt a painful electrical shock and everything faded to black.

It was that irritating beep that brought me around. My fuzzy brain was trying to locate the source and I couldn't place it. My consciousness was swarming like a beehive as I opened my eyes and saw the strange sight of white tiles on the ceiling. I heard someone say, "He's coming around" and activity and motion were swirling around me.

Then I knew, I just knew that Kaye was there and I held up my hand and I felt her familiar warm soft hand gripping mine as she cried over me. I was trying to talk and she just shook her head as she smiled down on me. Then everything disappeared again.

When I woke back up, Kaye was still there, still holding my hand. From the room, the machines I was attached to, the hurried bustle outside it was clear that I was in an Intensive Care Unit. I started worrying how bad I was hurt. Kaye alleviated my concerns telling me that I had lost a lot of blood, and had a number of stitches and it would be a while before my face completely healed. The police got there and had tazered us both before Charlie could perform the coup de grace. I should be okay I was scheduled to be moved into a regular room as soon as one became available. I kept trying to talk but I couldn't form the words and I found myself going back to sleep.

Upon the next awakening I was in a different room, but with the same beautiful Kaye despite the wear of the ordeal. "You need to go home, Kaye and get some rest." She shook her head and said she and Judy were fine up here.

The mention of Judy brought to mind the last thing I had heard and the pain was evident on my face as Kaye asked what was wrong.

"The last thing I heard was Judy begging me not to hurt her daddy. It's just I had built up this impression that we were a family and to have that taken away from me was the worst thing that happened to me." I said sadly as I mourned the loss of my delusion.

"Listen here!" Kaye said sharply to me, "We ARE a family! When you heard Judy crying for her daddy, she was. Her daddy is you! She was crying for you! You know how else I know we are a family? You told me to go home to rest. To home! Not, to our apartment, but, to our home mister! And you better know right now that anywhere we are together, that is home!"

Before I could respond a fifty pound typhoon launched herself onto the bed crying "Daddy! Daddy!"

I couldn't help myself. I began bawling as I held Judy as best I could. The three of us were crying and the nursing staff huddled wondering what to do. The head nurse shepard them away and allowed us a moment together.

After we all calmed down, Kaye caught me up on the news. Charlie's antics had been captured by our Nanny cams and he was assured a long prison stretch. The police had released the video and it was being played nationally in my ongoing saga. The World Series had reached out to Kaye to ask if I would be able to continue. She told them that I would make that decision.

"What do you think Kaye? Should I continue or should I give up? Tell me what you want me to do."

Kaye only smiled and said, "I'm just happy that you asked what I thought. This is for you to decide and whatever you do, know that your family is behind you 100 per cent."

That is how I found myself seated at the final table. Weathered and beaten and still apparently a glutton for punishment. I played low key and I watched the others battle among themselves. I kept losing amounts as the blinds increased. But still I bided my time.

As the table shrunk down, I began paying particular attention to one player. The classical bully stereotype, all he did was taunt and insult everyone. He had taken advantage of the hiatus and researched all of us. That made his barbs that much more effective. He wanted so bad to launch into me, but, as I was folding every hand he had to hold back.

We finally butted heads on a hand and I started getting an inkling what I was in for as he mentioned how I was a cheater, how my wife left me, how I hung around methheads. I could've stopped it. The World Series will penalize a player for abuse, but, if I did then the Bully would know he got to me. So I bore it in silence.

When I lost the hand, the Bully made a big production of getting up and doing a victory dance for the enjoyment of the audience. I just watched as a million of my chips slid across the table to him.

Play continued to drone on and a couple of times I was able to take the blinds and hang on.

Then there were three of us, the Bully, myself, and a guy with a short stack that would soon be forced to go all in. Which is exactly what happened and I took the chips as the third place finisher left the table. Then we had to pause while the show biz aspect had to be observed. Las Vegas showgirls carrying trays of $100 dollars stacks dumped in a mountain on the table accented by the huge mounds of stacks of chips.

You want to know why there are mountains of chips between the two final contestants? It makes for a better visual than if you designated a $1,000,000 chip so that you would only have a handful of chips to show on TV. Who would want to watch that?

Now the battle was mano a mano and the Bully unleashed everything in his arsenal. I was called every insulting term possible as we continued to play. Then the Bully went over the line claiming I was shacking up with a methhead slut. He could tell that remark did some damage from my reaction. I told him he could say whatever he wanted to about me but leave my family out of it. He sneered at me.

I tried to counter by thinking of something unrelated, for the first time in years I dredged up the Hodge Conjecture and a familiar nag was tugging at me. What is this about? All the Bully's blustering was for naught as continued to play shielded from his harm. When I took half his chips with a full house, I asked if he was going to do a victory dance.

He lost it and started throwing insult after insult about Kaye. I was climbing over the table to get after him when the TV crew caught me and the melee caused a pause. I looked at Kaye and Judy in the casino audience to see how they reacted. I could tell they were upset that I was upset.

When peace was restored and play resumed I could tell he had finally accomplished his goal. All I wanted to do was crush him quickly. I knew I couldn't allow passion to dictate my play, but, he had tilted me and I was desperate to find a way to calm down.

I closed my eyes and thought of the most calming thing I could. The sight of Kaye shuffling those cards when we played strip poker. When we consummated our love. The shuffling of those cards... constant values in a field...yet, forever randomly shifting...but each progression would vary from another shuffle...how does the Conjecture fit in? My mind raced as equations burst in my head as I calculated the results.

How long I remained transfixed oblivious I have no idea. All I know was I was gently shaken aware that the hand had been dealt, my hole cards were before me unlooked at and five million chips were in the middle of the table bet by the Bully waiting for my response. Instead, I looked toward the audience picking out Kaye, I yelled, "The Conjecture!"

Kaye was puzzled but knew me well enough that if I had that reaction it had to be big news. Suddenly, I didn't care about playing. Second place money would suit me fine. I reraised the bet my hole cards unseen. It flustered the Bully insisting that I look at my cards before I be allowed to bet. Then came the flop and I declared all in, still no idea what my hole cards were. I got up from the table and walked over to Kaye as she sputtered "James!" and I held her over the uproar of the Bully's calling of the bet and the dealing of the cards which resulted in me hitting a jack high flush against a straight by the Bully. Sometime it all comes down to luck.

Pandemonium erupted around us as I continued to hold on to Kaye. Eventually, I was persuaded to go back to the table for the winner's presentation. The Bully had stormed out raging against my "unprofessionalism." I stood there with the mandatory shit eating grin and made a few glib remarks. I was able to prevent them putting the champion's bracelet on me. No way would such a garish ostentatious piece of jewelry ever be worn by me. I would settle for nothing less than the paper bracelet Judy had made for me in class.

Kaye decided she wanted to celebrate and we were offered a penthouse at the hotel/casino where Kaye worked. I was informed that I would be welcomed in all areas of the casino. I guess celebrity status forgave all sins.

When we finally got settled in, Kaye made all the trials and tribulations worthwhile as we dismissed the world. When I finally came up for air I called room service to bring up several legal pads, pens and a laptop computer. I told Kaye I had to get to work.

Three months later in a small but well respected educational journal, an article appeared. "The Solution to Hodge's Conjecture by the Varonsky's Shift." Authored by Dr. Ben Stevens and Dr. James Reed, it caused a tsunami in the world of math. It was finally accepted that the Conjecture had been solved and Teri Stevens and I were awarded the $1,000,000 prize for the solution.

All the hoopla brought the attention of CBS' Sixty Minutes to do a feature on me as "the motorcycle riding bad boy genius of math." I suppose all the nerds out there would see me as some sort of outlaw. What the world didn't see was me tucking in Judy and reading her a story at bedtime. So much for my bad boy image.

The film crew had me go through my whole story again and I wondered why. Turned out they had tracked down Karen Hudgens and my other two accusers of sexual misconduct. It didn't take much to get one of them to crack and confronted with the truth the other two recanted their stories.

Turned out that there was sexual impropriety going on at the university, but it revolved around Jason Feder and his buddy, the Dean. For years, Jason traded grades for sex and videotaped the performances. The coeds were blackmailed into continuing to perform for Jason and the Dean until they were abandoned for fresh bait.

Karen and the two girls were pressured to make the accusations against me in exchange for their freedom and the videos given back to the girls. A heavily edited snippet appeared on the feature which clearly showed an aroused Jason and his friend, the Dean sampling the girls. Then the feature went back to a tearful distraught Karen Hudgens begging for my forgiveness. The next thing to be shown was a shot of Jason walking away from a news crew crying out, "No Comment!" Then there was the comment from the reporter that the university's Board of Trustees was opening an investigation. Then came the image of that watch ticking away.

No sooner than the show was over the phone rang off the wall. I had to monitor the calls ID's to keep from dealing with people I didn't want to hear from. Most were my so called friends and colleagues who had abandoned me in my time of need who now were going to assure me that they knew I had be innocent all along. Then my parents called. I decided I should at least hear them out even though they too were quick to judge me. The only person I was happy to hear from was Teri Stevens. We cried together knowing that vindication had come at last, but, at what a price at the loss of Ben.

Then the Board of Trustee reached out and invited me to return so they could offer their amends. I flew back with Kaye and Judy and spent a day fielding various offers for me to return. All I could tell them was I would discuss it with Kaye and let them know.

I was standing in the VIP lounge at the airport for the flight back and watched as she walked toward me. Even the years that passed had done little to diminish her beauty.

"Hello Reed."

God, the flashback of that voice greeting me caused my knees to go weak. Somehow I croaked out "Hello Laura."

"I had so many ways I had prepared to start this conversation Reed and now my mind is a complete blank. I thought about crashing the Trustees' party for you but seeing as how the Dean, Jason and I are persona non grata I thought that would be a little too gauche. Unofficially, we've all been notified that we are going to be terminated.

Apparently, girls are coming out of the wood works to report themselves as victims of Jason's little scheme. Some of whom he engaged with during my marriage with him. I left him, Reed. I'm going to go back home with my son and regroup and try to start over.

I know I don't deserve it, but, I want you to consider us, Reed. We were perfect together for so many years and given time, we could be again. You have to understand that I loved you so much and when I heard that awful testimony all I could think about was your betrayal. It clouded my judgment. God, how it clouded my judgment! All I could think of was to lash out and hurt you.

You'd love my son if you met him, Reed. If you never knew that Jason was his father all you would see would be a beautiful little boy. If it isn't too late, would you be willing to do that?

If you can't, I understand. I'd like your forgiveness. I know, I know, I don't deserve it, but still I'm asking. I know you've got a big heart. I know you are capable of giving me that relief. Please consider it."

I just stood there not believing what I was hearing.

"Laura, I watched you walking up and I still can't get over how beautiful you are. And when you started speaking all I could think of were the happy memories we shared. In a perfect world, I would say yes and we would walk out of here and start all over."

Laura brighten up as she saw a potential breakthrough.

I continued, "But, we aren't in a perfect world. We are in this fucked up unperfect world where things don't make any sense. Compared to you, Kaye is an alley cat. But the thing is, she is MY alley cat. I know if I get in trouble, she would be there to the very last to help and to protect me. Kaye and I have forged our relationship and there is nothing that you or anybody else can say or do that is going to change that.

We are going to continue to love each other for the next forty or fifty years and the only thing that will stop us is when one of us go to our grave. And I pray to God that I go first because I don't want to live in a world that she isn't in."

The realization that she had lost me made her face fall as I continued to speak.

"As for forgiving you; for what you've done to me, yes, I can forgive you because ultimately it caused me to meet Kaye. What I can't forgive you was your treatment of Ben. He loved you like a daughter and when you left me, you left him as well. You didn't attend his service or reach out to Teri when she needed it. And then you participated in academic dishonesty by lying about him . You knew how Ben cherished knowledge and education and you besmirched his memory when you engaged in Jason's little witchhunt.

So, no, Laura I can't forgive you. I can only hope you and your son can get on with your lives and be happy, but, it won't be with my blessings."

I watched as Laura started to cry before me and a flight attendant came up to tell me that my companion, Ms. Varonsky and our daughter had already boarded the plane. Laura looked up at the mention of Varonsky and recognition came to her for my credit to Kaye by mentioning her maiden name in my paper. I turned around without saying goodbye and walked toward the Gulfstream jet waiting for me.

One of the enticement to come to the Trustees' party was the use of the private jet of one of the alumni. I was soon settled in my seat cruising at 30,000 feet with a little Munchkin in my lap. She was busy at work and I closed my eyes for a minute trying to get the residual pain once and for all out of my heart with my closure with Laura.

I felt a nudge and opened my eyes and looked down. Judy was demanding my attention to her crayon scribbling in the margins of her coloring book. I looked at the algebra equation and told her it was correct. She smiled up at me and then went back to work on the book.

I looked over at Kaye amusedly watching us, shaking her head and bringing her attention once again to her laptop shopping for a baby bassinet needed for our new home.

As I closed my eyes again I thought what a fucked up unperfect world it was. But every so often, you come across someone you have to risk all to complete your world. And when you find that person and you bet your heart and soul on them, the prize is an eternity of love with your soulmate. And that makes every play of the game worthwhile.

Then I felt a nudge from the little Munchkin.