Erica

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A love lost a love discovered.
1.6k words
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Erica Johnson stood under the warm waters of the shower, shaking her head and feeling the water spraying over her. Reaching out she moved the dial to the right, increasing the temperature until the spray felt like hot needles of steel piercing her skin, burning into, hurting her. Her mind screamed at her "No, No, No," but she held onto the stainless steel bar and screamed. She spun the dial to the left and the spray became ice cold steel balls which bounced off her skin with painful flicks. She felt her body lashed with pain and her nipples crinkled in response. Returning it to the centre she cried until, suddenly, she stopped, sniffed back the tears and flicked the off button. Stepping out she took the clean green towel and began to rub herself dry, really forcefully, the skin reddening under her touch. Throwing the towel onto the towel rail she strode out onto the landing and paced the two steps into her bedroom.

Inside her bedroom the bed was neatly made, not rumpled after a night's sleep, staring at her, confirming what had happened. She sighed and began to dress, finding herself her favourite blue bra and matching knickers, she stepped into the knickers then into her slip and thought about tights but decided it would be too constricting for them today. So, she pulled her bra on and cinched it at the back. She pulled on a lamb's wool dress, tugging it down to her knees and looked at herself in the mirror. Reaching behind she drew the zip up and once again smoothed the dress down. Finding her comb she pulled it through her hair and decided that she would let it dry itself this morning. Taking a deep breath she steeled herself and went out to the landing.

Passing his door she saw the tangled sheets and could smell the sex in the air, she whimpered but carried on towards the stairs. Descending them slowly she heard him in the kitchen, then smelt the bacon, heard the kettle boiling and the toaster pop. Walking to the door and looking in she saw him bending slightly as he measured out the coffee and set it going. He turned and smiled, but it dissolved into a look of consternation. She shrugged and walked to him, feeling his arms move around her as she wept. He held her and made sympathetic noises. She steadied herself and pushed away slightly, then felt his lips gently on hers. She looked into his eyes and melted.

"It happened didn't it?" He nodded and looked intently into her deep green eyes,

"Yes, you and I made love last night, does that make you unhappy?"

"I don't know, it was, lovely, it was perfect, but somehow..."

"You're worried you've tarnished yourself with Rob?"

"Yes, well sort of, I feel that I've let him and you down."

"Why, it was great, I wanted it, you wanted it, Rob can hardly complain, can he?"

"That's a bit unfair, you know what I mean?"

"Rob's dead, he died four years ago, I was there, I saw it, felt it, lived through it. You can't live your life in the past Erica; you have to move on at sometime. You're not Rob's wife... I'm sorry that was horrible, I apologise totally."

He turned away and checked the food, expertly moving the toast and bacon to two plates. He set these on the table and poured two coffees. She sat at her place and picked up her fork. She pushed the bacon around whilst staring at the wall.

He sat and carefully made a sandwich with the bacon and toast. He raised it to his lips. Pausing he looked at her,

"I don't regret it Erica, not one bit, it was perfect, you were perfect, I was... adequate," he grinned.

She looked at him and smiled,

"Yes you were," she said, "Perfect I mean; you were more than adequate, trust me." Smiling she cut the bacon and placed it in her mouth. "Mmm, good bacon, thank you, I think I'm hungry."

"I'm not surprised, we were..." He paused and shrugged,

"You were going to say going at it like a rat up a drainpipe?"

"Something like that, but it was different, it wasn't just sex, well not for me anyway."

"Me neither, perhaps that's why I feel so... ambiguous about it. I mean it was sex, but it was more it was, oh I don't know."

"Yes, it was, wasn't it, and as they say there's no going back. We know each other intimately now, we can never undo that."

"I know, but somehow, I feel disrespectful to Rob."

"How do you think I feel, I'm his brother, you were just about my sister in law. How low can an older brother sink? And yet look at the circumstances, Rob is no longer here, nor my so called girlfriend, it's just you and me."

Four years earlier

Sitting in the bridal car, Erica began to have a funny feeling, they had been sent round the block twice now. As they approached again, Dan one of the ushers came to the window on her dad's side of the car. There was a brief discussion and then the window was rewound. Her father faced her and she would remember the look on his face forever. There had been an accident. The car that the grooms party were travelling to the wedding in contained; Rob her fiancée, Eric his older brother, Sarah, their sister and Joan their mother. It had been hit sideways on as they crossed at a set of lights, the impact pushing their car sideways twenty yards into a set of railings and a lamppost.

The impact was on Rob and Joan's side, they had been crushed instantly, the car pushed onto the railings at an angle had crushed Sarah, all had died from massive internal injuries and bleeding, within ten minutes of each other. Eric, who was driving, had whiplash from the impact, but the steering wheel, which he had held onto had not shattered, although this had caused him to suffer massive external bruising and severe muscle and ligament injuries to his upper torso. He alone had survived, although he would spend six months convalescing and enduring endless physiotherapy.

His girlfriend hadn't lasted the course, she left complaining that he wasn't paying her enough attention and was obviously too feeble a man for her. Erica had been shocked at her outburst as she arrived to find the girl tugging her large suitcase downstairs, whilst Rob lay upstairs in tears. Erica moved in and helped Eric with his exercises and therapy. It helped her too, as she was with a familiar face and she felt she was actually achieving something with her life post Rob. As Eric recovered and she returned to work, they continued to share, comfortable in a kind of platonic brother/sister relationship.

This had lasted over the four years; they were close, sharing food costs and the utility bills. Going out and getting drunk together, and with friends and work. They made an effort to start and continue a weekly "Going to the Cinema, Theatre, but not on a Date" event. They visited Erica's parents regularly, which pleased her Mum and Dad enormously and also helped Eric with losing both his parents. Mr and Mrs Johnson were by all and any means his surrogate Mum and Dad. Erica was his younger sister and Eric the older brother she never had.

Last night

That was until last night, Sunday night, low on entertainment, since everyone they know had work on Monday. They'd looked at the listings and decided it was all crap; no films or shows; no TV or DVD's pulled at them. They'd tried Scrabble and got bored, opened a bottle of wine and changed to Rude Word Scrabble, where every work had to be naughty or obscene, they even decided to double any score for the 'C' word. The wine had disappeared and the game lost its appeal quite quickly and they sank onto the sofa and held hands. It started innocently enough, Eric kissed her cheek, she turned to kiss his, he hadn't turned back. Their lips met and something sparked. Suddenly they were all over each other; then clothes were being pulled, tugged, ripped off.

Naked they had run to Eric's bedroom and suddenly, there they were coupled together as if they had had a lifetime of loving. Yet each touch, kiss, fondle, rub, slide of a hand or mouth was new, invigorating, exciting. They explored each other and raised each to new highs until they climaxed, Eric then Erica, and collapsed entangled on the bed. They had made love again later, slower, just needing to keep contact, until with a gasp they lay back and slept.

Today

Erica looked around the kitchen and saw that it was relatively tidy, she had washed and stacked the dishes, whilst Eric had gone to clean his teeth and make ready for the day. She surveyed the scene again and wondered where the four yes had gone. She heard Eric clattering downstairs. He appeared and kissed her lips, she grinned and rubbed his arm.

"See you tonight princess, have a good day, I love you." He kissed her again and disappeared, she heard the door slam.

Making her way upstairs she went to clean her teeth, staring at herself in the mirror as she went into the bathroom.

"Please be happy for me Rob," she whispered and turned to complete her task. As she did she thought she heard him,

"Be lucky princess, take care of my brother."

Smiling now she bent to the task of cleaning her teeth before she left for work.

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Nice ending!

Life moves on. We should too.

R.

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