Et Sidste Kys: The Last Kiss Ch. 03

Love was a mystery that couldn't be explained, nor could the attraction between two certain people be rationalized by science. It was something that had to be felt by the individuals for themselves, but even then, they too would be at a loss for words to explain how a single emotion could somehow transcend time and space altogether.

"It is...I wish it could be like this always." Jessica said and I let the side of my face droop on her shoulder, making her special scent stream around me. Her smell. Her smell would be with me always, I thought, as I felt a stray black strand of her hair tickle against my forehead.

"The sun, the smell, the sound of the waves, you and I." I looked up to her at that moment and smiled. There weren't any words she could say that would ever make me stop loving her. I felt a warmth inside of me that encompassed my entire body and soul, something that filled me up and gave me such confidence that nothing could have broken me afterwards.

After that moment, I think I would've liked to stay on that small patch of sandy beach forever. Some people have many assumptions about what heaven must be like and I can honestly say, that heaven is where you find it and I had definitely found it in the company of my sister Jessica and on that beach. But I suppose it is true that some people also say that heaven doesn't last long and it came to an end almost when I saw a bolt of lightning arc across the sky far out in to the water and then a clap of thunder that resounded so loudly that it snapped both me and Jessica out of our dreamlike state and had us running for cover as the wind began to pick up and make the sand swirl like ghosts traveling over the sandy earth.

Jessica grabbed the towel and we both made for the nearest shelter we could find, a small abandoned snack shop that was painted in bright blue and red colors and just before we reached it, a bolt of lightning impacted a few miles down the beach from where we were and there came a deafening clap of thunder behind us and then the rain came down in thick drops and then seconds later, sheets.

But the sand that was blowing in to our eyes from the hard wind and the soaking from the rain hadn't dampened our moods, because when we were finally underneath the snack shop's roof, we were laughing. Everything that was wet clung to our bodies uncomfortably and water drops were still running down our individual faces when we kissed and we could both taste the enhanced saltiness of our skin and the almost pure rain water in our mouths. Jessica smiled at me when we broke off our kiss and I reached a solitary hand up to her cheek and stroked back a piece of wet hair that was clinging to her face. She brought her hand up and held it against her, savoring the roughness of my skin and closed her eyes and exhaled softly.

I knew that this was the moment I'd been waiting for and dreaming of ever since I'd gone to the jeweler before our trip. Everything seemed to be perfect and I felt if I'd dallied any longer, the moment would be gone forever and I would miss my one opportunity to tell Jessica that I loved her.

"I have something for you." I said suddenly and she turned to look at me with her deep brown eyes with such intensity, that my heart leapt in my chest and my stomach fluttered violently. At that moment, I thought the worst. I'd wondered before how she would take it, whether or not she would refuse the symbol I'd gotten only for her to show her how much she meant to me. But, in the end, love wins over everything and all doubts left me as soon as I brought the small back box out of the pocket of my bathing suit. For some reason, I'd put it in before leaving the hotel, unknowing that the moment would come from a simple trip to the beach, but somehow feeling that something was amiss and decided to take it, risking it getting wet or getting lost.

I looked at her and brought the little black box up to eye level and opened it, revealing the thing I'd spent most of my money on before our trip. It wasn't the money that mattered to me, or even her, it was the symbol it personified. The ring was in the shape of a circle to symbolize everlasting love for a partner.

"It's a promise ring." I explained and took it gently from its pocket in the box. I held it out and just as I did, the rain seemed to lessen just enough to let a break in the clouds that made the ring light up when the sun shone down on us. "I would've given you an engagement ring, but as you know, I do not have a lot of money..." I told her and smirked, letting her know that if I could've gotten her a better looking ring, I would've. But like I'd said before, it wouldn't have mattered if I'd spent a million dollars on a ring or just one, it was what it meant that was of the greatest importance to us. But I sought to explain just one more thing that I hoped she'd understand. "It would've been considered wrong in the eyes of society, so it is a promise ring...promising I will be with you always...no matter what."

Jessica seemed to be in the most amusing state of shock and didn't reply at first, nor did she lift her hand up to accept it and I began to grow nervous that she didn't want it, but when I asked her, "Do you accept it?" She nodded and looked on the verge of dispelling tears not of sadness, but of joy.

"I...I...of course!" She said seconds afterwards, accepting my ring and my everlasting love for her. I put the ring on the first finger she gave me, and not really knowing any differently at the time, I put it over her ring finger and it slipped on perfectly and smoothly like it'd been made of glass. She embraced me and I embraced her back and kissed her. She meant the world to me and now that I was no longer scared or nervous about how she really felt about me, I couldn't stop the largest smile in my life from spreading across my face.

"I guess this gives me permission to call you husband from now on." Jessica said and then closed her eyes as if she'd been embarrassed and mortified to have uttered something so stupid, but I couldn't have cared if she'd called me an idiot then.

"Sure does...wife." I said in a joking voice back to ease her tensions and she grinned and playfully slapped me on my arm just as a loud ringing sound emanated from the pocket of her shorts. She answered the cell phone and a short while later, turned it off and told me that it'd been our parents and that it was time to go back.

Thankfully, the rain had lessened by then and the only thing that got more wet was our shoeless feet as we made our way back to where our parents were.

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When we got back to the hotel, Jessica thought it was a time to celebrate and I agreed. After our parents informed us that they'd be going out to eat late that night by themselves, they tromped to the elevator and went back to their room to relax and we were left down in the lobby, pretending like we were buying gifts in the hotel gift shop for our friends. When our parents were gone, we left the gift shop (remember, we didn't have very much money anyways) and went to the bar.

At first, we asked the lone bartender, a guy who looked a few years older than us, who had slicked back hair in a pony tail and a few visible tattoos on his exposed arms, if we could have a glass of wine to celebrate, but since we were underage, he refused and said our only 'legal' choices were soda, juice, or water. But I had an inkling about what he wanted and while Jessica's back was turned towards the door of the bar where she was watching an exhausted couple walk in with two young children in tow, I pulled out my last rain soaked twenty and handed it to the bartender. He squinted at me and I'd assumed that was what he'd wanted, like I'd seen all the people on television do when they wanted to get in to a prestigious club or have an illegal beer, and then he turned and left. I was worried that he was going to tell the hotel manager on us or call the police for trying to bribe him and then we'd get in trouble with our parents...to which I promised I'd take the entire blame and suffer any consequences they had to give, but to my surprise, he came back with two bottles of strawberry and kiwi wine coolers and set them on the bar in front of us. But before he let us take them, he put both hands on the tops and made us swear on two conditions. One, that we would never leave our rooms while drinking them and two, if anyone asked where we'd gotten them, we would say we'd bought them somewhere else and never tell it was him. Both Jessica and I listened and readily agreed to the conditions and he let them go, telling us to hide them underneath the towel we were still carrying from our trip to the beach until we got back to our room.

"Jeez, I wasn't sure he was going to even give us these." I said and took my bottle of wine cooler out of the towel and looked at it as soon as the elevator doors closed.

"How'd you even get these? Thought he wasn't even going to let us have them." Jessica asked curiously. I never told her about bribing the bartender because she would've said it wouldn't have been worth it and she would settled for a simple soda, but since we'd gotten somewhat what we'd requested, she didn't inquire any more.

"I'm a good con man." I told her with a sly grin as we stepped out of the elevator and on to our floor.

I got a couple of glasses from the bathroom and put them on the glass table that was in the corner and began to pour mine in to the glass when I remembered the ice.

"Ice?" I asked Jessica, who nodded enthusiastically.

"Sure!" She said in a voice filled with vivacity and excitement. We felt like adults having wine coolers to drink.

I smiled and went over to the ice bucket that had been unused since we'd gotten there and I'd assumed that the maids refilled the ice bucket like the nurses in the hospital did, whether you used it or not, but when I took the lid off, I saw that it was completely empty.

"Darn, we're out...I guess I'll have to go get some." I said and regretfully shook my head.

"All right, but hurry back!" I had every intention of doing just that as I strolled out the door towards the ice machine on our floor. I'd seen it plenty of times before and knew it was down the hall to the left of the elevator, next to the snack machines and payphone.

I stepped inside the warm room that I thought would've been colder, but the ice machine was humming and pumping out warm air, as was the snack machine so it made the room feel stuffy. I flipped open the faux wooden door in front of the ice machine and saw thousands of cubes of glistening ice and grabbed the plastic scoop to shovel it in to the bucket.

Whew, what a work out. The ice was so cold that it had fused together in large chunks that wouldn't fit in the bucket I was holding unless I broke them, so I went to work, smashing the ice with the end of the scoop's handle. Finally, I saw enough small pieces to fill the ice bucket and switched hands with the ice scoop and ice bucket and pushed it through the ice mounds and shoveled it in my bucket.

The ice was almost to the top and I was so overly excited that I was going to be back with Jessica in minutes that the pain surprised me. It was like a bolt of fire shooting through my head, just behind my left eye. The pain was so powerful that I dropped the ice bucket on the ground next to the ice machine, spilling all of my freshly gathered ice on to the carpeted floor below.

"Ah!" I winced, gritted my teeth and grabbed on to the lid of the ice machine for support. I had never felt such sharp pain in my head before and I had to stand still from fear of tripping over something around me and falling, but just as soon as it had come, it had gone.

"Son of a—." I mumbled and tried to massage the place where I thought the pain had come from. Then I looked down and saw the ice all over the floor that I'd dropped. I muttered a few curses and saw that it was beyond saving since it was encrusted with dirt, dust and someone's hair that had been on the carpet before so I left it and decided to go down to the bar and ask for some ice there since I knew the bartender always had loose ice.

When I reached the lobby, I felt another bolt of pain and I went to the closest thing in front of me for support, which was the concierge's desk.

"Can I help you, sir?" A woman dressed in a black suit asked me.

"I—." My voice caught and the pain released me. "Can I have a pen and paper?" I asked. It was the first and only thing that came to my mind and I didn't want them to know I was hurting so they wouldn't call the ambulance, leaving Jessica in our room all alone, not knowing where I was.

"Yes, sir." She reached on the desk under the counter and gave it to me and I went over to a cushy large chair a few feet away. I could feel that something going on, something serious, but I hoped and prayed that it wasn't what I'd feared. But if it was, I had to do something. I surmised that there was something I was supposed to write, but I had no earthly idea what or even how to say what I wanted. I tried to think but the pain came back again.

"Are you okay, mister?" After the last shot of pain, I looked up and saw a little blond girl who looked to be around seven or eight years old, staring at me. She had a little pink dress on with a white collar and little black shoes on her feet.

"Yeah—yeah, I'm okay." I replied and mustered a generous, but somewhat false smile.

"Okay." She said hurriedly and then disappeared, probably with her parents.

When she was gone, I leaned my head back in the chair, breathing fairly hard for the condition I appeared to be in. I felt almost sick with fear and despair. This wasn't supposed to happen right now, not at this moment, it was supposed to be later, not after all of the good things that had happened in the last few months.

The last few months...

Six months, the doctor's words echoed in my mind, six months.

I groaned and wanted to hit myself for my stupidity in not understanding that time had gone by so quickly. My time was coming...very soon; I could feel it in my body and in my heart. I felt absolutely terrible, like I'd lied to ten million people about my health when the only three people I'd be deceiving and lying to were my parents and Jessica.

Jessica.

"Oh, God." I whispered and picked my head up, trying not to show the tears that were glistening in my eyes, ready to fall. She would never forgive me for leaving her. But...if I could get a message to her...maybe it would break it to her more gently. But I didn't know what to write.

I was lost.

Afraid and scared.

And alone.

I looked around, hoping not to draw attention with my display's of obvious pain, but all of the people in the lobby seemed unaware of my presence, and not one person looked at me as they passed and milled around the check-in counter.

The only person who'd asked if I'd been okay had been the little blond girl. The people moved dreamily around the lobby's faux marble floor, lugging their suitcases, laughing, talking and conversing...almost like I was invisible. I saw two people pass who had their arms clasped around each other. The guy held the girl close and very tight, so tightly that it hindered her from walking and she told him quietly to control himself. She might not have wanted anyone else to hear her, but I did. That was what I wanted then, just to be with Jessica and have her in my arms so I could stop her from walking away from me and leaving me. All of a sudden, the man let the girl go, and they moved across the lobby's floor quickly and when they passed me, I saw a vase of wildflowers across the lobby. They weren't the same ones we had at home, but I suddenly got a flurry of ideas and began to write. I wrote honestly and surely as it came flowing out from my heart and I wanted to make sure that Jessica would receive the message clearly and within no time, with my hand cramping and one last burst of pain in my head, I finished the letter and went back to the concierge's desk, addressed it but then stopped. How was Jessica supposed to get the letter later? They'd give her the letter the next day, but maybe...I gave the concierge explicit instructions and told them not to send my letter for a couple of days, when we'd be back home.

I still felt terrible, but thought the letter had come out okay, even though I would've rather told everything to Jessica with her next to me, but I figured the letter would be a kind of insurance in case something happened to me between now and a couple of days.

I then went to the bartender once again, and with another glare, the guy filled up the ice bucket and I hurried back to my room where Jessica was. When I got to our floor, I looked in the gleaming brass and saw my reflection on the elevator panel button near the door and made sure I looked okay. I did, but a little exhausted...mostly due to the pain I'd gone through and running from the lobby to the bar and back to the elevator.

I quickly walked down the hallway to our room and pushed in our room key card and turned the handle and pushed the door open.

BONK!

"Ow!" I heard a familiar female voice say. I quickly went in the room and shut the door. Jessica was laying on the floor near the door and holding a spot on her head where the door had hit her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said and put down the bucket full of ice on the floor and bent down and kissed her on her sore spot, trying to make her pain go away. "Sorry it took so long...the ice machine on our floor was broken, I went to find a janitor so that he could fix it but I went to another and it was broken too, all of them were broken on every floor, never seen anything like it." Jessica smiled a little, but then rubbed the bump on her head that I'd caused. "I finally went down to the bar and had to get the bartender to give me some ice...then I hurried back as soon as I could...as you can see." I smiled and rubbed her head gently.

I'd smiled, but I really felt terrible because I'd lied to Jessica, even though it made no difference in our relationship, it was still a lie and made me feel awful.

"C'mon, let's lay on the bed." I helped her up and led her to one of the beds, even though I had the overwhelming urge to pick her up in my arms and tell her everything that I was afraid of and to reassure her that I'd never leave her, but I didn't know what was going to happen...I wasn't even sure that what I thought was going to happen, was actually going to happen. But if there was one thing I wanted, it was to show her that I loved her so much, but I was unsure if she'd even be in the mood, still I sought to try.

"I have an idea on how to get rid of the pain if you want me to." I said, smiling at her cunningly, knowing she knew what I meant by my suggestion. Even though her head probably hurt a lot after being hit by the door, she nodded eagerly. I got her to lie back on the bed and relax and then went to get my silk shirt from my suitcase. I wanted her to forget about her pain and I'd remembered hearing Estella talking about the best treatment for a headache was to cover the eyes and put ice on it, but I also had my own ideas on how to relieve her head pain. I tied the silken fabric's arms around her head, making sure I'd covered her eyes completely and that she was unable to see what I wanted to do. She seemed apprehensive and even a little anxious, but I told her to relax and to trust me and she lay back, waiting for me. I grabbed the ice bucket that was finally full and took out a cube of ice and walked over to her and crawled on to the bed next to her.

When I touched the ice cube to her skin, I saw the area where the ice touched, break out in goosebumps and her breath seemed to catch and then release like a short gasp of surprise.

I lingered on the area just between the bottom of her throat and soft space between the start of the sternum and then began to let my fingers drift slowly down the valley in between her breasts and hesitated briefly to unbutton her shirt, slowly and sensuously and then opened it fully and ran the ice cube back up the valley between her breasts and back up her throat, over her chin and to her mouth, letting the smooth, slightly glistening ice coat her lips with cool liquid. Her tongue thrust out of her mouth suddenly, bending towards the top of her lip where the ice was and licked the cool water from her skin and I let her suckle on it for just a moment, hearing a small moan emit from her mouth.