Eva - Valentine's Edition

Then, ignoring the bright flashes of lights from the police cars outside, I drove off.

*

I awoke to the sound of waves crashing against the seashore. Dazedly, I looked around, spotting some early morning joggers looking at me curiously. The half-empty bottle of Vodka sat next to me and I reached for it and tilted it to my lips.

'Drunk again,' I thought to myself.

It had been the fifth consecutive night that I'd spent on the sand after passing out from too much alcohol. It seemed to be the only solution to what plagued me these days. When I drank, I forgot about her and that was what I wanted. So I drank -- bottles of ancient Scotch, Brandy, but my favorite was Vodka. Nothing like a little V-hit to make you forget old times.

"Lo ho mancato," I heard behind me and turned. There was a couple, a guy and a girl, sitting on top of a rock, their faces so close together that a paper couldn't fit between them. I groaned in disgust, and then got up to leave.

I'd been in Italy for more than a month now, just driving from place to place with no destination to speak of. It was a week ago that I'd ended up in Sorrento and had taken a liking to the beach. It was so relaxing and cool during the nights...so in contrast to how I felt inside.

She haunted me like never before. I tried not to think about her, but it was no use. Even in my dreams, she came to me, crying my name as I left her. I usually woke up drenched in sweat and drank myself back to sleep after that. It was a pitiful existence, I knew, but there was not much else I could do. Everything in me was in pieces; shattered, broken pieces.

I struggled to my feet and staggered toward the hotel that I was staying in. It was somewhere near the beach, I knew, but when I finally got there, I felt like I'd walked for hours. Moreover, my bottle was empty. I plunked onto a seat in the near-empty hotel restaurant and ordered another bottle.

A pretty young lady came forward to pass it to me. She looked around, and then sat opposite me. I glared at her, not wanting to be disturbed.

"I have watched you, signorina, for the past week. You have done nothing but drink. People say I have a listening power. I can help you if you would like to talk to me."

I grunted before I leaned forward to grab the bottle.

"Very well. But I will be here if you need me." She gestured to the kitchen, and then walked off. I wondered about her briefly before dismissing her from my mind. She would probably get a kick out of my problems.

Somehow, I made it to my room and collapsed onto the bed.

When I opened my eyes, it was dark again. There was no light in the room for I'd not bothered to keep a light on. I could hear the tourists outside, laughing, having a good time. And I refused to pity myself.

Loud banging on the door got me to an upright position. I told the person to go away, but the knocking was insistent. Irritated, I got off the bed and whipped open the door.

"What...Quinn?" I knew he could see the shock mirrored in my eyes. Of all people, Quinn! Here!

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," he said smoothly as he pushed his way into the room. He flicked the switch on and turned toward me.

"Why aren't you picking up your cell? Or checking your e-mails? It's been a month since you've gotten back to anyone at the office. You've got Marie, Amelia, me and everyone else worried..."

"Stop, Quinn. Really, why are you here? I just need to be alone."

"I came here to give you this," he said and took out an envelope from his suit pocket.

"What is it?" I sat on the edge of the sofa in the room.

"Read and you'll see."

I flipped through it, recognizing it as a photocopy of the contract that we'd bid for a month ago.

"Why is it photocopied?"

"Because it's what Miss Smith-Johnson handed over to Justin Johnson."

A slash of pain tore through my heart.

"But look at this," Quinn pointed to a sum of figures on the paper.

Shock, brief and fierce, tore through me. My eyes rose to meet his. "She changed the fucking numbers."

*

I pulled the Harley to a stop outside the old ranch-like house, watching the warm glow inside the house flicker into the night sky. Somewhere in there was Eva, probably enjoying a dinner with her Nana and little brother. I didn't want to go in; I didn't want to cause her any more pain, but I couldn't leave our relationship hanging like I did. I needed to apologize... and maybe, just maybe, get her back.

I'd been nothing but a wreck ever since Quinn showed me the document. It was proof that it hadn't been Eva who'd done it. He'd gone on later to tell me that there had been a confession made by the real spy. I laughed with ironic mirth when he told me it had been Monica all along. JJ Inc. had sent two spies, but one of them turned out to be unfruitful.

I'd read through the statement that Eva had given the police. Justin Johnson was her uncle, yes, but he'd blackmailed her into spying for him. The plan was to cozy up to Quinn, initially, but Eva had gotten to me instead. A memory of her, with tears on her cheeks, her hair in a mess, came back to me. "Jess, you have to believe me! God, I love you!" A shudder wracked my tall frame. How could I have not believed her? I should've stayed, stayed and talked to her. Maybe then, I'd have been able to figure the truth out.

She'd never betrayed me. It was I who had betrayed us, betrayed our love.

I started towards the house.

How would she react if she saw me? I wondered as I climbed the steps to the front door. Would she want to see me? Would she be angry at me? Would she still love me? Fuck, I was dying inside.

Before I could turn back, I raised my hand and rapped on the door. After momentous shuffling, I heard a child-like voice saying, "I'll get it," and the door was flung open.

Before me stood a boy, probably five or six years old, dressed in overalls and a shirt. He stared up at me with unblinking dark eyes.

"Hey there," I said. "Is --uh -- is Eva in?"

He continued to stare at me before calling for Eva. His eyes never left me as I stepped into the house, not knowing what to expect. I prayed, something I never did, that she would take me back.

I heard soft, female laughter from a room to the right and turned towards it.

My steps faltered when I saw her. She was clearing the dinner table, balancing two plates on one hand. She had a smile plastered on her face, but the dark circles around her eyes were obvious signs that she hadn't been sleeping well. Her hair was down, falling past her shoulders. I remembered all those times that I'd run my fingers through those locks and shivered.

"Eva..." It came out in a voice barely above a whisper, but she stopped and turned. A myriad of emotions flickered across her face -- shock, longing, then anger.

"Who let you in?" The plates clattered onto the table with a loud bang. "I said who the hell let you in?"

"Your brother." God, how I ached to put my arms around her and heal the hurt in her eyes. "Eva, I- we need to talk."

"No, we don't need to talk. We didn't need to talk then, and we sure as hell don't need to talk now. I want you out of this house. Now!"

"Evvie, what's going on in here, sweetheart?" An old black woman hobbled into the hall. She squinted through her gold-rimmed glasses at me.

"Ahh." She smiled after a moment. "You must be Jessie. Would you like a drink, dearie? It would've been a long drive from the city."

"No, ma'am, thank you, but may I have a moment with Eva, please?" I asked. The only other old woman I'd known had totally disapproved of what I was. I was pleasantly surprised by this woman's kind words.

"Oh, sure thang. Come on, Michael, my boy. Let's go for a walk, shall we? Need to air these ol' bones." She started to usher the little boy out the door.

"Nana, you don't have to go. I've got nothing to say to her-."

"But I bet she's got something to say to you." I heard a dry chuckle before the door slammed shut.

"She's right, you know," I said softly.

"Jessie, look. I just don't want to see you. I can't handle this right now. Just...go. Leave." She turned her back on me and headed for the stairs.

"You still love me." It was a tough chance, I knew, but decided that there was no harm trying. I'd lost everything, anyway. I had nothing left to lose now.

She turned slowly, her eyes glinting off the anger in her.

"No, I don't. I hate you, Jessie. For what you did to me, for what you did to us, I hate you. You didn't trust me. How could you not have trusted me?" There were tears in her eyes now, angry tears.

"There was so much evidence against you, Eva. You have to try and understand me. Would you have believed me if I was in your position?"

"Yes, I would have! I loved you. I loved you so much. I was going to tell you about everything...but I was so afraid..."

I took two steps closer to her and noticed that tears were making tracks down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the back of her hand. I noticed, too, that her lips had been nibbled raw in spots.

"And when I told you the truth, you didn't believe me. Have you any idea how much it hurt? It felt like a part of me was being ripped apart."

"I know how that feels," I admitted.

She turned towards me and her eyes were sad now.

"There's nothing left in me, Jessie. I've nothing left to give you. Please, just go. Please..." She raked a hand through her hair.

I knew I had one last shot. I couldn't screw this up. I'd never forgive myself if I did. I slid to my knees in front of her, circling her legs with my hands and laying my head on her stomach. She tried to pull away but I only clung to her tighter.

"I know that now, baby." I felt her tense even more at my use of that endearment. "I'm so sorry about that. About everything. I want you to come back to me. This past month has been hell without you. I felt so hollow, a hollow shell of my former self when you weren't beside me. I've never felt so empty in my life. You were the missing piece in it. Without you, everything seemed to fall apart around me... God, I just love you. I love you so much, it hurts. Take me back, Eva, please. I need you. I'll make it up to you somehow, I promise."

I waited for three heartbeats before looking up at her. There was indecision in her eyes. Hope flared its ugly head in my heart. Then, as though of their own volition, her fingers rose to tangle themselves in my hair. I buried my face against her belly, feeling the first tear fall from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry. So very sorry." I repeated.

"I don't know, Jess. All these months, what I went through. I just don't know."

I swiped at my eyes and stood. Eva couldn't look at me at all, but I knew she was crying too. I took out the letter I'd written to her on the plane back and put it on the dinner table. I'd said all I could say to her. The ball was in her court. The rest was up to her.

I didn't say anything as I left the house, mainly because I didn't know what to say. My vision was blurred with tears and I wanted nothing more than to cry in her arms. Instead, I revved the Harley and prepared for a long drive back.

*

It had been nearly a week since I'd visited Eva. I'd gone back to work, tried to sort through my life and put aside the painful memories that haunted me. But it was hard. Every little thing in the house reminded me of her. Her stuff was everywhere. I'd briefly considered selling the place, but I realized that I didn't want to. Not really. I wanted to be as close to her as possible. And having her things around gave me the illusion that she was still with me. She just hadn't come home yet.

It was late one evening when I heard the sounds of a car in the driveway. I was sitting on the couch, watching a re-run of Wheel of Fortune and eating Chinese takeout. I set my food down and sluggishly made my way over to the windows. It looked like a cab was stopping in my driveway.

Jay told me she would stop by to check on me once she returned from her trip, but she shouldn't be home so soon. And it was a Friday night at the club, so it couldn't be Amelia as well.

Frowning, I went to the front door and opened it.

Eva. There she was, standing on my doorstep with her suitcase on the ground. I could tell she'd been crying, and I'm sure she knew I hadn't slept at all since I'd last seen her.

She took a step towards me, and I knew, at that moment, that everything was going to be all right.

Fin