Evergreen Kiss

We held each other quietly for a while, each of us wiping away tears. Eventually I let go -- I had to reach into my backpack for a Kleenex, and I pulled one out for her as well. We got up and made our way back to the trail. We could walk side by side on this part of the trail, so I laced my fingers into hers. We walked most of the way back in silence, afraid to break the spell.

***

I'm generally not the affectionate type, especially not in public, but on the walk back, I was like a silly teenager. I was forever kissing her hand or hugging her, and she held me and kissed my ears and the top of my head. Before we got back to the main trail and the crowds, it was time to talk about what to do next. I stopped at a low stone bench on the side of the trail and motioned for her to sit down. I wanted to say something, but didn't know where to start. Before I could figure it out, Meaghan said "So now that you have my attention, and my affection, what do you propose to do with them? I suppose you have a plan; you engineers always have a plan." Her voice was teasing and sweet, like a drizzle of warm honey.

I responded with all seriousness "I do have a plan, at least for tonight and tomorrow. We don't have to work tomorrow ..." She looked a bit confused, so I explained "You haven't checked your email yet today, have you? The weekend electrical maintenance went over. Building's closed until tomorrow night, and all the file servers and lab machines are still powered off. I think they blew up the building transformer." That got a chuckle.

"I'm going to take you out tonight -- I have a dinner reservation at seven thirty."

The teasing expression in her face and voice turned softer and a little surprised, and she said "You're courting me. That's so old fashioned and sweet. I didn't imagine you were going to be this good to me."

I couldn't quite look at her as I continued. "And then I want you to spend the night with me."

"You don't mess around, do you? You want to get me into bed on our first date."

"I'm serious, Meaghan. My master plan has one huge problem -- I don't know if I can actually do it. I've been thinking about spending the night with you, undressing you, making love to you. It's been in my head for weeks, and it won't go away. I really want to, but I don't know if I can actually do it. I'm not like you; I've never liked girls.

You deserve someone who can make you happy, who can love you in every way possible. I want to be that someone, I really do, but if I can't, we both need to find out tonight, before we irreparably screw up what we have together right now."

I started trembling as I said it, and she put her arms around me and held me. She spoke quietly in my ear, all teasing gone from her voice "You must really love me to be willing to do something that scares you so much. It will be okay, sweetie. It will be okay."

She called me "sweetie" again. Maybe it really would be okay.

We made our way back to the cars, and I told her to be ready at seven, and dress nicely. I didn't kiss her as we left; if I had we might never have made it out of the parking lot.

***

I spent the afternoon cooking and cleaning. I was NOT bringing the love of my life home to a messy condo, and I wanted to have some food ready for tomorrow. I was hoping we wouldn't be going out until at least dinner.

After that I took a shower and got myself all prettied up. Picking clothes was easy -- I wore my one strapless black dress and my one pair of low heels. I've never mastered high heels, and I'm so short they don't really help anyway. I fussed over jewelry for a while, though, and settled on a pair of dangly Cambodian sapphire earrings my Dad's parents got me for my seventeenth birthday. I wore my hair straight and loose, like I always do. No other options. I've never been great at makeup, but my neighbor Ming works at a nice salon nearby, and offered to help. I think she was thrilled to see me actually excited about going out with somebody. She was minimalist -- just a few subtle layers of makeup on my eyes and something light on my lips -- but even I have to admit that what she did was stunning.

I pulled up to Meaghan's east side apartment at 6:56, and she was out the door before I could even get out of my car. She was wearing a sheer green dress that matched her eyes and highlighted her curves, and her hair was ... transformed. I don't know how she did it. The random collection loose waves had become a crown of delicate curls, perfectly arranged. Fairy princess didn't even begin to cover it. Her laptop bag hung from her bare shoulder, and as she came closer, I saw emeralds sparkling in her ears -- a perfect match for her eyes and her dress. I opened the car door for her, and she had a twinkle in her eye as she sat down in the front seat and put her bag in the back. I don't think she'd ever had a date open a door for her before.

I couldn't resist teasing her. "You're such a geek -- you're bringing your laptop bag on a date."

She stuck her tongue out in response. "It's also my overnight bag. And we both know I'll be up before you tomorrow." Fair point. I'm not exactly a morning person.

When she buckled the seatbelt, the shoulder belt settled neatly between her breasts, and I had to force myself to concentrate on driving and not her pale skin and the cleavage showing above the top of her dress.

Pulling out of her parking lot, I added "You look really nice tonight."

She smiled warmly and replied. "Thank you, sweetie. You do too."

She didn't know where we were going for dinner, and I didn't give her a hint. Twenty five minutes later, after a pretty drive across Lake Washington on the 520 floating bridge, we pulled into the parking lot on pier sixty seven on the Seattle waterfront, and Meaghan looked a little surprised. I don't know what she was expecting, but this wasn't it. This particular pier is home to a beautiful seafood restaurant that, for me, is probably the most romantic spot in Seattle, especially around sunset. It's definitely the right spot for a first date with someone I care about.

I'd like to describe the wonderful dinner we both had, and I'm sure it was delicious, but I honestly can't remember a thing about the food. All I can remember is the sun descending toward the Olympic Mountains across the Sound outside the windows, and Meaghan sitting across from me, her beautiful hair turning coppery in the sunset and her beautiful smile and her twinkling evergreen eyes.

I had timed dinner very deliberately -- the sunset from the pier is beautiful, but it's even better from my balcony, and we had just enough time to fully appreciate it when we got back to my place. Meaghan had been here before, even spent the night in my spare bedroom a few times, but her breath caught a little at the view when she came in the front door. Mine did too, for that matter, and I come home to this view every night. It was pretty spectacular this evening.

We had skipped dessert at the restaurant in favor of a something at home. Meaghan's not a dessert person anyway, so she was quite happy with that arrangement. I went into the fridge and got out a little bottle of Prosecco and a big bowl of cherries -- dark red Bing and pale Rainier.

Meaghan beamed at me. "That's absolutely perfect. How do you always know the perfect thing?"

I stopped to push a couple of buttons on the way out to the balcony and the music started. There was Yo Yo Ma playing Bach; a Mozart piano concert; some Spanish guitar; Celtic harp and jazz piano. All of it was beautiful and none of it distracting. I put my head on Meaghan's shoulder as we watched the sunset, drinking wine and eating cherries. The sunset deepened from pink to orange to deep blue, and we kissed, and kept kissing for a long time. I made out with a few boys in high school after my first prom, and it was fun, but never like this. There was nothing in the world but Meaghan and me, sitting on a narrow ledge in space, and her lips and her mouth and her arms and her sparkling eyes were all I needed in the world. It was dark when we finally came up for air and decided to go inside. We could have been there for five minutes or five days; I lost all sense of time.

I told Meaghan to make herself comfortable, and she gave me a mischievous smile as she went into the bedroom. I went into the kitchen. I didn't really need to -- the dishes could wait until morning -- but I was nervous and trying to put off what was coming next. I rinsed the glasses and bowl and put them in the dishwasher, and then got out a lidded bowl and poured out some homemade granola, with macadamias and dried cherries, for breakfast for Meaghan in the morning. I wrote her a note, telling her about the coconut milk and fresh blueberries in the fridge. When I walked toward the bedroom, the print on the wall caught my eye and I stopped to admire it -- Meaghan's sad ferry boat leaving the dock. I still smile every time I look at it.

Out of excuses, I approached the bedroom door, which Meaghan had shut. "Dammit!" I thought to myself. "I put out candles and forgot to light them." I needn't have worried.

***

The sight that greeted me when I opened my bedroom door was stunning. Meaghan was standing waiting for me, wearing nothing but the emeralds in her ears, surrounded by the soft light of a dozen candles, with the waters and islands of Puget Sound in the window behind her, just visible in the dark. Her body was perfect, soft and curvy and perfectly proportioned. Aphrodite coming out of the sea.

I wanted nothing more than to hold her, kiss her, from her perfect lips to her adorable toes, and lie with her and make love to her. But I couldn't. I couldn't move; I couldn't even speak. I told myself "Stop it! You're a grown woman. You're not a virgin, and she's certainly not a mistake you will regret. You can do this!" It was no use. I was a college freshman again, in Ari Green's dorm room, and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.

Meaghan walked over to me slowly and took my hand and kissed it. Her face was pure tenderness, and I knew all she wanted tonight was to make me happy. She kissed me on the forehead, and on the nose, and on the lips. She walked behind me slowly, kissing my ear and neck, and unzipped my dress, kissing down my back as she took it off and tossed it on the chair nearby. Her hands went down to my waist and started to lower my panties. Her kisses kept going, down my butt and thigh, all the way down to my ankle, as she pulled my panties to the floor. I let her continue, trembling a little.

She took my hand and led me to the bed, where she laid me face down, with my head at the foot of the bed. Her fingers ran through my hair, and started to massage my scalp as she kissed me on the neck and cheek. It felt so nice I didn't ever want to move again. Her fingers continued on to my neck and shoulders, and then her palms made long, slow strokes down my back. She sat beside me and massaged each arm and hand in turn, all the way down to my fingers. Her touch was firm but light, and my skin seemed to tingle afterward, everywhere she touched. She went back to my shoulders, and her hands slowly kneaded their way down my back. She massaged my butt with her palms, and then my thighs with the back of her hands, careful not to touch the sensitive areas that I so wanted her to, but was still too afraid. She made her way down to my feet, and then slowly kissed her way back up to my neck, stroking me lightly with her fingertips as she went.

I just lay there for a while after she finished, not believing anything could feel that good, but I had to hold her and tell her how much I loved her, and to do that I had to move. I shifted in the bed, and she climbed in behind me and held me to her, her soft breasts pressing into my back. I said in the bravest voice I could manage "Thank you, sweetie. That was wonderful. I'm sorry..." She cut me off "Shhhh. No sorry. Never sorry. I love you, Sarah." I felt safe, the way I did when my parents tucked me in as a child.

Days of worrying and not sleeping well and taken their toll, and with tonight's wine and that wonderful massage, my body knew what it needed. I was soon asleep.

***

I woke up in that familiar fog, not quite knowing what was going on. I was in my own room, and the sky was bright behind the curtains (who closed them?) when I opened my eyes and started to move. I started to remember what happened when I heard Meaghan's voice. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

Oh, yeah. That. I invited her to spend the night so I could make love to her, and I couldn't do it. Way to go, Sarah.

"Mmmmhhh. What time is it? How long have you been up?"

"Almost eleven, and a little while. Thank you for breakfast, sweetie. It was yummy."

Meaghan was curled up in my favorite spot -- a chair in the corner of the bedroom, looking out over the bay and the port. It may not be everybody's favorite view -- a sprawl of container ships, giant cranes, train tracks and rows and rows of shipping containers -- but I love it. The complex of commerce and industry is as interesting, in its own way, as the forest covered islands dotting the Sound to the north and west.

She had been sketching as she looked out the window, but put her sketchbook and pencil down when I stirred. She was wearing one of my old hiking shirts, with nothing I could see underneath. On me, it's a little too big, but on her, with her curvy figure and magnificent breasts, it was almost obscene. When I got out of bed, still completely naked, her nipples poked out just enough to tell me that she hadn't given up on me yet.

I made my way to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth and hair, and I was very conscious of her eyes on me as I walked. My hips swayed more than they normally do; I couldn't help myself. A few minutes later, I came out and leaned against the doorframe with a giant grin and said "I'm going to take a shower. Do you want to join me?" I don't know what got into me, but all of last night's inhibitions seemed to be gone. She was out of the chair and the tee shirt on the floor in a single graceful motion.

My shower is a bit ridiculous -- it's got a fairly standard detachable shower head up top, but it also has something like a dozen little nozzles on the sides. It might seem a little like being in a car wash, but it's heavenly. When Meaghan stepped in with me, I found out it's even better with a friend. Especially if that friend has a body you can't keep your eyes or your hands off of.

She started things off with a very assertive kiss, but this time I responded willingly and quickly. I kissed her neck and arms and hands, and the valley between her breasts. And then my mouth found its way to a very hard and very sensitive nipple. It was quite dark against her pale skin, surrounded by lighter pink that crinkled even under the warm spray of the shower. I kissed lightly and heard a little moan. I kissed a little more firmly and sucked it into my mouth. A bigger moan. Her hands wrapped around my neck as my tongue teased her nipple. My hands went down her back to her lovely round butt, while my mouth kept licking and suckling. Her leg slid between mine and her thigh rubbed against my pussy, and I went a little weak. I made sure to give the other nipple the same attention -- I didn't want it to feel left out -- and was rewarded with more happy noises, all while rubbing myself up against her thigh.

We spent a while together in the shower, bodies all wet and slippery, mouths exploring on top, hands lower down, but you can only stay in the shower for so long. So I washed Meaghan's hair, now back to loose brown waves, and she washed mine.

Getting out of the shower was exquisite torture. We dried each other off, and, as predicted, Meaghan's hair looked great with just a towel dry and some attention with a hair brush. Mine, however, takes more work. I wanted nothing more than to take her to my bed and have my way with her, but a long dripping mess of hair seriously ruins the mood. So Meaghan took the time to dry my hair with a towel and brush it out. I have a thing for people fussing with my hair -- I get that wonderful tingle in the back of my throat when somebody brushes it. When that somebody is the love of my life, and she's naked and more than ready to make love to me, well, it's more than just a tingle. The drier my hair got, the wetter I got between my legs.

After what seemed like an eternity, my hair had gone from wet to just a little damp, which was good enough. Meaghan took my hand and led me out to the bedroom, next to the bed, and put her arms around my waist to hold me. I reached up to put my arms around her shoulders and kissed her. We fell to the bed together, still holding and kissing each other. Meaghan pulled back a bit, and kissed me all over my face and neck. As she moved down to my breasts, she said, voice full of desire, "I couldn't quite reach these in the shower. Now they're mine." Meaghan really liked breasts, even my small ones. Maybe especially mine. My nipples were already hard, but the way she kissed and licked and blew little gusts of cold air and warm moist breath was incredible. I ached before her mouth even touched my left nipple, and when she did, it seemed like every nerve in my body ran right through it. I was almost delirious with pleasure as she started to roll me onto my back, but I stopped her, with great effort, and rolled her over instead, straddling her hips with my knees and leaning down to kiss her.

Meaghan looked up at me, eyes full of love and concern and said "Sweetie, it's okay. Really. You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I know I don't, and I love you for that. But I have to prove something to myself; I have to prove I can give you pleasure. Please let me do that." It was finally time for me to make love to her. She smiled and closed her eyes and dreamily stretched her arms behind her head, relaxing and giving me her body to do what I would.

I'd like to say I was perfect, that I brought her effortlessly to some ethereal cloud of ecstasy, but real life isn't like that. There were occasional cries of "oops" and "sorry" as knees and elbows wound up in the wrong place, and awkward positions and giggles from ticklish spots. But I did my best, and we were both rewarded for it.

It was easy enough to start -- I kissed her face and neck and paid plenty of attention to her breasts, kissing and sucking and stroking and even pinching her nipples lightly in my fingers. She apparently liked me playing with her breasts just as much as she liked playing with mine, even if I didn't have nearly the same skill, and she oohed and aahed and squirmed in the bed as I did. I kissed across her stomach, just a little rounded, and stroked her body with my fingertips as far as I could reach. I kissed her mound, and down the inside of her thighs to her knees.

And then I was there. No man's land, quite literally. This was what I had been worrying and fussing about for weeks. I'd never seen a woman's pussy this close before, and it took some getting used to. I took a good long look and told myself "She has all the same equipment that you do, and it works pretty much the same way. You can do this." This time I believed myself. I'm sure Meaghan was waiting for something, quite patiently, but this was a new experience for me, and I wasn't going to rush into it; I was going to do it right.

Her lips were right there in front of me, glistening with moisture, waiting to be kissed, so I did, very softly. A tremor shook her body, barely perceptible. I kissed again and breathed deeply, taking in her scent. It wasn't pleasant or unpleasant; there was no conscious component at all. It was, simply, sex, and my own body responded to it with a little moan. I kissed around the sides of her pussy, on her outer lips, and then back to the inner lips, teasing them apart with my tongue. It was a little sour and, I don't know. It just tasted like her, I guess. I licked slowly a few times, bottom to top, and her body shifted a little to push her towards me, wanting more. I put my hands on her hips and drove my tongue inside her, more forcefully and quickly, and her hands came down from behind her head and grabbed handfuls of the comforter she was lying on top of. She cooed and whimpered and moaned as my tongue moved in and out of her, and then I thought to look for something else.