Explorations Ch. 02

We made ham sandwiches for lunch and napped -- Fred on the couch and me in the bedroom. When I woke up Fred was still sleeping. I wrote him a note and slipped out without waking him. I knew he'd be okay with that. Just as I was certain there would be other nights and days like the ones we'd just shared. I drove home with a contented feeling.

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On Tuesday I got a card in the mail. It was a thank you card with a note. "Billie: I allowed you that one last night of making some decisions on your own. Your razor job threw me off. Now that we're on the same footing again, I'll expect more strict obedience on your part. Report to my place on Thursday night at 7:00 PM. When I arrive, I expect you to be naked with a cold, extra dry Stoli Martini and some light snacks ready for me. I'll bring dinner." It was signed simply, "Fred" Taped to the card was a key.

I wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, my first response was a thrill of excitement. On the other, I wasn't sure I was ready to fully accept the submissive role the card implied. During my marriage, I had needed to be the strong one. My husband just wanted to let me deal with things most of the time. I had been making my own decisions for all the years since my divorce.

The two times I had briefly surrendered to Fred had definitely felt like a liberating vacation from all that. But did I want it as a way of life? If I didn't do things the way he demanded, would he dump me? If I did, did that mean it was the way things would be between us as long as we lasted? I had two days to decide.

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In the end I decided I had to keep the assignation anyway, if only to tell him I didn't want to have things so cut and dried. I had enjoyed submitting but I gloried in the feeling of straddling him the way I'd done. Wednesday I'd used my lunch hour to go out to an adult book shop. I bought a slim novel from the "BDSM" section. I nervously paid for it (the clerk was either very controlled or, more likely, he was so jaded he was used to everything) and tucked it into my purse.

I read the whole thing that night. It was about a young woman who basically sold herself into slavery for a year. In return for room and board - and a huge monetary payoff at the end - she let her master use her any way he chose. Beside the Inquisition style floggings and humiliating chores and acts, he also took her to clubs and parties which other masters and slaves attended.

At these parties the man shared her mouth, pussy and ass with others - male and female - many times. Sometimes she'd be required to serve food and drinks. Other times she was expected to service owners and even other slaves. Often several other people used her at the same time. As hot as the well written story was - I masturbated three times while my other hand held the book - I was still reluctant to agree to anything like that situation.

For one thing, I would not leave my job. For another, I doubted Fred was rich enough to support me and himself on his income. I didn't know exactly how much he earned, but his apartment, car and wardrobe were, while good enough, not elaborate or fancy. I doubted if he could afford the lavish payoff, either. I wouldn't do it even for the money the book mentioned.

Thursday morning I had fallen back into waffling. I decided to reserve my decision until Fred and I discussed it at length. I didn't get a lot of work done and left the office early. At home I took a nap and prepared my body as I'd done the previous time. I got the key Fred had sent me and headed for his apartment.

The key stuck a bit since it was new, but it admitted me into the cool darkness. The first thing I did was turn up the heat a few degrees. If I was going to be lolling around naked until 7:00 I wanted a little more warmth. Once the place warmed up I got naked and went exploring.

As I was growing up I had become pretty skilled at nosily going through my parents' and my brother's room. The most surprising thing I ever found were some nude pictures of my much younger mother. I never took anything (well, I 'borrowed' some men's magazines from my brother once - but put them back) but I got good at making sure I put everything back exactly as it had been. So I went to work going through the apartment.

I spent the least time on the rooms I'd been in. I figured there wouldn't be anything clandestine in his living room, kitchen or the bathroom. I didn't even find anything too surprising in the bedroom. In the closet was the box where Fred kept his 'toys'. My eyes widened at the sight of a strap on penis. It felt heavy in my hand and the harness looked complicated. I cautiously smelled it but it only smelled like rubber. I put it back and the box back in the closet.

In the second bedroom I saw he'd turned it into an office or den. There was an old sofa an easy chair with a hole in the upholstery of one of the arms and the seat sagged. There was a desk with a computer and there were shelves along the wall. The shelves were full of books and I ran my eyes over the titles. Some of them were suggestive and proved to be similar to the one I'd read the night before.

I sat at the desk, glanced at the clock on the wall and decided I had time to raid the computer. When the screen came up I was disappointed (but not too surprised) to see that it was password protected. I turned it off again and went through the desk drawers. A magazine called 'Paddles' had some sexy D/S stories and personal ads from people either offering or wanting erotic punishment. From the addresses I realized it was published in Australia.

I spun around in the desk chair and looked at the closet. I slid the door open and found more clothes hanging there. I pushed some aside and saw that there were costumes among regular clothing. There was a filmy harem outfit and a French maid's uniform. There was a pair of shiny leather pants that looked as if they might fit Fred.

I pushed most of the clothes aside and saw a safe sitting on the floor. I tried the handle and gasped when it turned. I pulled the door open and saw a photo album inside. "Jackpot!" I whispered to myself. I returned to the desk chair, half expecting it to contain merely family photos but my heart beat faster as I lifted the cover. Even family pictures would have been interesting to me. But the first page had four pictures on it.

The top left showed a blonde woman sitting on the couch that was sitting across the room from me in Fred's den. She was naked and had huge breasts. She was smiling at the camera. Her legs were spread and the end of...something shiny and silver showed amid the tangle of her brown pubic hair. She had one hand near it. The other supported her right breast.

The picture next to that one showed the same woman but she was on her hands and knees and facing away from the camera. Her head was turned back so she could see the cameraman. Her broad ass and back were covered with red stripes. was one of Fred's former...partners, or whatever I'd stepped into.

I certainly hadn't expected to be his first female friend. Did I feel jealous? No. I felt a little mild envy of the blonde's slender body, but there was no jealousy in me. Even if he told me she was concurrent with me, there would be no jealousy. I got past all that a long time before.

I paged through the album and found a few surprises. The blonde was replaced by a brunette who was a bit heavier than I am. The pictures were all of bondage scenes and a few of them were exciting to me. My pussy was oozing more than it had been before I opened the book. The women were placed in positions that I hadn't been subjected to yet, but at least I knew what to expect. There was nothing I'd really object to...at least in the pictures I saw.

I put the album back into the safe and shut the door. I didn't spin the dial to lock it, because maybe Fred had meant for me to see this. I left everything as I found it and went back to the kitchen for a glass of water, the pictures lingering in my mind. Whatever Fred had done before we met was his business, just as my past was mine.

The clock read 6:47 when I heard the key in the door. I went to the living room and watched Fred come in. Though he'd neglected to specify a position for me, I thought it appropriate to kneel. I'd already downed two martinis of my own and when I went to my knees on the carpet, Fred's requested drink was in my hand.

"Ah," he said, "I'm happy to see you got my card."

"I got it at work and I wish you'd have been there when it did. My panties got very wet when I read it."

"Never mind your panties," he said. "Come over here and help me undress."

I went to hands and knees - well, one hand, since I still held his drink -- to reach him. In my mind I was trying to make myself submissive. The crawling helped. I felt the vodka slop a bit over my hand as it sloshed. When I reached him I used my hands to open his pants while he got rid of his jacket and shirt. I hooked my fingers in the waistband of the boxers he wore and pulled them down with the slacks.

His cock was half hard already and I just leaned forward to suck it into my mouth. He took the drink from me and I used my hand to cup his balls while I gave him head. By that time he'd hardened completely and I bobbed my head back and forth on the stiff prick. He put one hand on the back of my head and drank the martini down with the other.

I heard his lips smack when he finished the drink. "Get me another, Billie," he said. I rose to my feet, having reluctantly released that pretty cock, and took the empty glass. We kissed and I slapped his hairy butt before I turned away.

"We need to talk," I said just as I turned the corner into the kitchen. There was no reply. I felt butterflies in my stomach because I was unsure whether he really required me to be submissive all the time or if he'd be open to some kind of a back and forth kind of relationship.

I mixed the drink and took it back to the living room. Fred was seated on the couch, his legs lolling apart and his dick standing up from the patch of pubic hair. That reminded me of my intention to shave him. Instead of broaching the main subject on my mind I came to a sudden decision. I turned back and left the room without a word.

I got a bowl from the cupboard and took it into the bathroom. I have no idea what he was thinking but it didn't matter to me. I filled the bowl with hot water and grabbed the razor and shaving cream before returning to him. His expression went from puzzled to show his understanding when he saw what I carried.

"Ah...Billie, I'm not sure I want to..." he began.

"This is a requirement, Fred," I said. It was a little funny to me that he was the one who was supposed to be 'in charge' and I was the one dictating to him. I knelt before him and took his cock into my mouth again and there was no objection.

I soaked a washrag in the hot water and squeezed it out. I wrapped it around his cock and balls while continuing to suck him. He sighed and leaned back against the couch. He spread his legs wider. I wet the cloth again and took more of it to him before dropping it to the bowl.

I squirted some cream onto my hand and began to smooth it over and around his balls. I took my mouth from his erection and smeared the cream over the lower half of it. I picked up the razor...

His erection never wavered as I shaved him. The razor nicked him twice but he never objected. A small voice in my mind started to talk to me. I wondered if this purportedly commanding man might secretly want to be dominated. I didn't want a wimp any more than I wanted to be totally submissive, but I began to wonder whether we might be able to reach a 'give-and-take' kind of situation.

I finished the shave by going back and rinsing the cloth with fresh water. As I wiped him clean I marveled at the appearance of his hairlessness. I leaned forward and took him as far as I could into my mouth. I surprised myself - and him - when I felt my nose bump against his belly. I'd deep-throated him! Then my gag reflex hit and I quickly leaned away.

"This wasn't exactly what I had planned," he said. I winked at him.

"I didn't plan this either, but I like it!"

"I think I like it too," he laughed. He was holding his cock and pushing it from side to side, examining the results of my tonsorial job. "It looks bigger than before."

"Maybe it is," I told him as I rose to my feet. I was about to straddle him and fuck myself silly on that beautiful cock but he put his hands up to stop me.

"Hold it! We're going to do something else...at least first." I straightened up and looked at him. He pushed at my hips to move me farther away and stood up. "Go into the bedroom," he told me. I turned and went.

In the bedroom, lacking any further instructions, I simply laid on the bed. After a few minutes Fred came in carrying a bottle and a towel. I recognized the bottle as olive oil and wondered at that. I certainly didn't need lubricant. My pussy was oozing a lot of juice already.

Fred told me to put the pillows in position and I readied myself for another wonderful paddling or flogging. Then I felt his oily fingers slide between my cheeks. At last I thought I was going to have my butt fucked! I spread my legs, feeling lewd and lascivious as I did. I wanted to feel slutty and I did. I even reached behind me and pulled my cheeks apart for his access.

He 'hummed' in response and liberally coated my ass with the oil. Then I felt his finger penetrate me easily. I was open for it. It didn't even hurt when he added another finger. I moaned as his fingers slid in and out of me. I couldn't help myself from raising my hips to his hand. He had to know I was more than ready.

I felt his weight on the bed. Then I felt the heat of his body as he got closer. He put the tip of his cock against my puckered hole. He leaned forward and I felt him open me gradually. I was eager to feel him deep in my rectum but I was glad he took it slowly. There was a little pain when the thick knob of his head popped in.

Then he eased into me. I started moaning (and coming!) almost as soon as he started, I pressed back but he held my hips to keep from ripping me. Later he told me he'd felt my sphincter clamping as my orgasm started and continued. My mind was just gone. I had no coherent thoughts at all as Fred fucked my ass. It was just a long period of extreme pleasure.

I did feel his hands grip my hips hard and his thrusting harder as he reached orgasm. I felt him squirting deep in my bowels and I'm sure I was grinning I was so happy. The reality of things returned when he stopped fucking me and began to slip out. I wailed at the emptiness he left behind. I wanted more!

I fell to the bed and lay there with closed eyes and listened to Fred going to the bathroom to clean up. I was amazed at my sexual hunger. I actually wanted more cock up my ass! I wanted a thick cock in my pussy and one in my ass at the same time! I blushed at the thought but knew I wanted it all the same.

Fred returned and used a warm cloth - probably the same one I'd used to clean him up after his shave. He tenderly wiped my ass crack and pussy with it. Then he rolled me to my back and leaned forward to kiss my pussy and gave it a little lick.

He went halfway back to the bathroom and threw the cloth toward the sink (he missed) before coming back to bed. He lay down beside me and gathered me into his arms. Neither of us said anything for a long time. When I opened my eyes and looked up at him he looked back.

He smiled and just shook his head. "Like I said, this wasn't what I had planned."

"I didn't have any plans," I told him. "Maybe that's the secret."

"Well, I guess you've figured out that I prefer to be dominant."

"Well, duh!" I laughed. "I guess I had that figured out."

"And how do you feel about that?" Fred asked.

"Well...I guess it's okay as long as it isn't '24/7' as they say. I mean, I kind of liked it the last time when I put you on your back and jumped on you."

He smiled. "Mmm...I liked that too, but still...well, wait a second. You know, there was a kind of a thrill to that. Beyond the obvious one, I mean." He was silent a few seconds and looked away from me. He frowned and then his brow smoothed. When he looked back at me he was smiling again. "Maybe that's it," he said. "Maybe that's where the kink comes in. I'd never thought of it before but maybe that's where the balance is."

"Huh?" I said intelligently.

"Okay: how did you feel when I put you down and paddled your ass? Was it good for you?"

"Well not at first. But after a while I got past the...pain and feeling silly, I guess. Then there was a point where I wanted you to just wail on me."

"Yeah, yeah," Fred was nodding and smiling. "That's what I mean. It's a kind of a voluntary endorphin, I guess. You go beyond the obvious feelings and get to a place where you feel somehow more free."

I understood what he was saying then. It was exactly the thing I'd felt when he'd spanked me. I wanted to feel like that again...but I also liked the way I felt when I had made him submit to shaving. I reached for his cock and found it was becoming hard again. I grinned at him. Then I rolled him to his back. I went down to take him into my mouth again before he was too big to get completely into my small mouth.

I slurped him up and sucked hard while drawing my lips along his length. That was all it took for him to reach erection. I licked him and spoke between licks. "I...want to...feel...what it's like...when there's...no...hair...at all...between us." With that, I rose up and mounted him again, exactly as I'd done before. This time when I was fully sitting on him our bare skin met and it was wonderful!

"This is great!" I groaned. My eyes were closed and I moved my hips back and forth. I felt the slight stubble I'd left and my own stubble. The pricking and stinging made it all the hotter. I rose up, looked deep into Fred's eyes and sank down on him again all at once. I felt him stab deeply into my cunt and couldn't stifle a moan.

"Oh, God, yes!" he gasped. "Fuck me, Billie!" I did. I fucked him with my pussy and fucked myself with that lovely penis. He was long, hard and hot and felt like a poker stabbing up into me. I leaned back as I rode him, stimulating my G-spot and felt my orgasm jump on me. I sobbed in pleasure as it throbbed through me and just kept riding...

A long time later, after I'd felt him throb into me and another three orgasms of my own, we lay quietly. Both of us were taking in what we'd learned. In my mind I was amazed to realize that Fred had learned something from me. I didn't know I had anything to teach anybody. But I'd accidentally become the instructor as well as the student. Fred had apparently never tried to look at the other side of the dominance/submission issue.

I smiled against his nipple (my head was resting against his chest) and then I opened my mouth and sucked it. Then I brought my teeth to bear and he gasped - his voice sounding almost feminine in tone - but he didn't try to push my face away. He just 'suffered' the pain.

Fred and I were married a few months later. We delved into our life together with a sexual gusto. We were like kids with new toys. I say 'toys' (plural) because we have not kept our sights fixed only on one another. It was only a few months after our wedding when we invited my friend Marcia to stay overnight with us.

After Marcia, there was Sam, then Marcia and Sam at the same time. Then we went to the Caribbean for two weeks at Hedonism II. We found out that what we'd heard was almost true. Even though it wasn't 'all fucking, all the time', there was enough sex to make any fanatic happy. We have a whole list of new friends to visit around the country and even in Europe, if we ever can afford to go there.