Exploring My Feelings Ch. 01

I was in my second year of college when I first realized that I was curious about men. Ok, so let me go back a bit. I have always been a man's man, and played sports in High School, including football, baseball, etc. But one night when I was in 12th grade (18 yo) and I was staying overnight at a friends house. They had me stay in his sisters room. She was a year older than us and extremely cute. So there I am in this girly room, with frilly sheets and all the pretty things that a girl would have. So I realized that they felt nice and comfy. So I got this thought in my head and was curious about his sister's bra size. So I slowly got up and went to her chest of drawers and pulled them open to find a bra. The night light gave plenty of light. I found a very nice lace bra and she was 34B. So I noticed that she had panties in that drawer also. So I picked them up and realized that they were purple thong panties. Ok, so this was quite exciting. I then wondered what it felt like to wear a thong, as I had no idea but thought that they were very sexy. So I put on the panties. I of course had a big bulge and then realized that I should tuck my cock between my legs. I looked at myself in the mirror with the glow from the night light and WOW I got turned on to see the way that the thong looked on me. Of course I had a huge bush of pubic hair (way before manscaping).

I started to rub myself in the panties and realized that I was going to cum and could not cum in her panties as I might be found out. So I took off the thong and put it back in the drawer with the bra. I made my way to the bathroom that was attached to her bedroom and decided that I would quietly master-bate on the toilet so that I could have some relief. So I sat down and leaned back and got some toilet paper for my load. I started stroking and realized that she had a clothing hamper in the bathroom. So I stuck my hand down in there and pulled out some clothes, until I found a pair of black lace panties. I was so excited. I put on the panties and started stroking. My theory was that I could cum on/in these and throw them back in the laundry and no one would be the wiser. So I started to stroke myself through the panties and in about 30 seconds I shot a huge load all in the panties and all over myself. I still had to use toilet paper to clean up. When I had finished I put the panties back in the hamper, at the bottom, put on my boxers and got back in bed.

I was a bit excited and shocked that I had done what I did, but that was when I realized I kind of like panties, and lingerie.

So fast forward back to my second year of college. I had a gym class that was in the late morning. I was always in a hurry to get showered and to the next class. However, I was running very late one day, and was not in a hurry because my next class was cancelled. So I got to the locker room late and to the showers late.

So I go to the showers and there is another student in the showers still, a black guy I recognized from the class. I said hello and started to shower, I kind of thought he would be out of the shower before too long because he was soaped up when I walked in. But he just kept showering, and staring at me. After awhile I realized that he was stroking himself slowly and had a semi hard cock, which was quite large. my head started to race and I was trying to understand what was going on. It finally hit me that this was a gay guy and he was liking what he saw. I got embarrassed, and I felt a tingle in my cock as well, which shocked me. I was standing with my back to the wall, he was on the other wall, and as I rinsed off I could see him stroking his big cock. I started to get an erection myself, which really freaked me out. I quickly finished showering, got dressed and left.

I was not sure why I had these feelings. I still liked to wear panties when I could get away with it, but had never thought about being with a guy. That all changed that day as I realized that wearing panties and lingerie was my desire to be the femme in the relationship and give myself to a man. I didn't fully understand this yet, but this was "that" moment where I had to start dealing with it.