Exploring My Feelings Ch. 02

As I finished college, I was still in denial of my feelings. I got married directly after graduation and went into the military as an officer. I would meet my pantie fetish by wearing my wife's panties when she was not home and master-bating to some very big orgasms. I went off to the gulf for the first war and when I came back I found that my wife had cheated on me and I divorced her.

Once again, I was on the market and in denial of my feelings. This was when it was absolutely not good to be anything but straight in the military. I lived a bit of a double life. I had never been with a man, but was curious with no idea how to go about it. On that side, I would go and purchase lingerie from Victoria's Secret, under the story that I was buying for my girlfriend, and I had a nice selection of panties (thongs, tanga's, etc), bra's, chemises, stockings, etc. I would dress up and play with myself. This was before the internet was so common. I also dated and had sex with women.

I dated a nurse that lived about 4 hours away and we would visit each other every other weekend. So one weekend when I was at her place, we had had sex a couple of times and I kind of thought we were done for the night. But she started stroking me again. I of course rose to the occasion eventually. She started rubbing my balls with her other hand and eventually started working her fingers below my balls. She spread my legs and all of a sudden shoved a finger in my ass. I went wild, as I was in shock but did not fight it long. She worked the finger in and out of my ass while stroking my cock and just looking at me.

Then, while not letting go of my cock she told me to roll over, I did, and she told me to get on my hands and knees. At this point she basically had me in doggy style and was next to me, stroking my cock with her left hand and working my ass with her right fingers. Yes, fingers, as she went from 1, to 2, to 3, to her thumb, and back to 1, and eventually landed on 2 and worked my ass for an hour. Asking me if I liked it, and I of course said yes, and she told me that she knew I would.

I was not able to cum that time, but I think that was because I was so spent from before, but she worked me over until she wanted to stop, and I did not argue about it. After she stopped we took a shower and she washed me of and fingered me in the shower as well. I was in shock, but I knew I liked it.

I went home the next day and I was emotionally all over the place. I really enjoyed this, so does that make me gay, bi, or what? I of course had no one to talk to about this. A few weeks later, after we had played around a few more times, she pulled out a magazine and started showing me strap-ons. While I wish now that I had not freaked out, I did a bit and slowly ended the relationship. I kind of really wish I had not . Although she did also want to tell me I could not cum unless she approved it, no touching myself, no master-bating, etc. This was not really cool with me. I wanted to touch myself, and was not so sure I wanted to be dominated. To be pegged would be amazing, but not tortured.

So my feelings were all over the place as I tried to wrestle with my sexual experiences. Again, I had not been with a guy yet at all. While I had desires, I just didn't have a way to safely explore those desires.

Fast forward 2 years. I am driving between towns for a business meeting. I stop at a rest stop and take a pee. I notice a guy watching me. I go back to my car, and he goes back to his, but before he gets in he notices that I am watching him and he rubs his crotch slowly while looking at me. I follow him up the highway and he pulls off at the next exit and into a gas station. He saw me following him. My heart was beating so fast. What was I doing?

What was I going to do? He went into the bathroom on the side of the building. I followed him into the bathroom. I said hi, he said hi, and then he walked up to me and french kissed me deep and long. OH MY!! I could not believe that this was happening. I put my arms around him and we kissed for a few minutes. I started to caress his chest and he did the same. I then reached down and felt his hard cock through his pants. I was so hard and my heart was beating out of my chest.

He stopped kissing me and reached to see if we could lock the door. The lock did not work so there was no way to be safe and know we would not be caught. So we both pulled down our pants and master-bated together. We quickly cleaned up and both left without another word.

I was in shock and so excited at the same time. I could not believe that I had kissed a guy, or that I had been sooooo turned on. I had never had that much excitement from a kiss, wow. Now I had a real problem, I had tasted and wanted more...