Eyes in the Dark

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Drive

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I don't know you, not yet anyway, but I guess I'm writing this for you. It feels strange to do so, but not wrong. None of this feels wrong, although it probably should. At some points, however, I felt a lot of guilt about all of this. You will too, most likely. Just read it to the end and know that you're not alone.

* * *

June 5th, 1985

Driving to the cabin was one of those times where I felt that deep sense of shame. I didn't want to be there. Well, that isn't true. Idid want to be there. I wanted it a great deal. I just didn't think it was right, or honest, or wholesome of me to be there.

The two-lane highway was pretty empty. Our cabin was in a rural area, practically wilderness. There were steep hills and forests, wild streams full of trout and lonesome lakes that sat still and unseen in the morning light. Our cabin perched on a small rise, near one of those lakes. To my knowledge, there were no other human habitations within at least ten miles of it. It was isolated, but comfortable and not at all rustic.

The lack of traffic that morning let my eyes wander to the right. To my passenger. She was asleep, as I expected. God, she looked sweet like that. Pure, almost angelic. Her legs were curled up, and her head was leaning against the window. Her arms were folded over her chest, and she looked at peace. A sick part of me wanted to run my hand up her leg. To stroke her face, maybe tuck that strand of escaped brown hair back behind her ear. Perhaps I'd see those beautiful hazel eyes open and look at me. Would they look at me with the welcome that I desired? Or with disgust? I feared the latter because it was how I felt towards myself. I re-focused on the road.

My little sister didn't think of herself as beautiful, at all. She makes self-deprecating jokes frequently, calling herself "fat" or "chubby." I couldn't stand that, but I couldn't very well correct her the way I wanted to. Maybe she did carry a little more weight than she wanted to, but it didn't make her look ugly. The opposite in fact.

Ashley was just over six inches shorter than me, with lovely wide hips and large, proportional breasts. Her ass pushed out whatever she wore to the degree that was impossible not to notice. All of these beautiful curves fit together perfectly, to my mind, into an hourglass. I wouldn't ever expect other women to fit her standard, but to me, she was gorgeous.

That was to say nothing of her cute nose, or girl-next-door freckles on very kissable cheeks, or her cupid's bow lips.

God. I was lost with desire for her. That would have been bad enough. Who wants an older brother perving on them? But I was also completely and totally in love and had been for longer than I wanted to admit, even at this late stage.

"Where are we?"

Ashley's voice was small and tired, having just woken up. I almost swerved the car, as I felt caught in the middle of my own guilty thoughts.

"Good timing. We're about twenty minutes out. We made good time."

"Great. I really have to pee."

I laughed.

"You have a bladder the size of an acorn. Which I guess is appropriate since you're the size of a squirrel."

"Shut up, dick," she said, with affection. She didn't like being reminded of how short she was, having the silly idea that only tall, thin girls could be attractive, but I had been teasing her height since we were both in elementary school, and now it had become a habit.

Besides, how she could think of herself as unattractive, with the way she filled out her short, cutoff jeans, or worn, but well-fitting, sweatshirt was beyond me. At the last place we'd stopped, a man and both of his teenaged sons had been checking her out, much to his wife's dismay. They just looked, though, and she hadn't noticed. She rarely did, thankfully.

"Thank you," she said, suddenly. She sounded a bit sad. Why would she be sad?

"For what?"

"For taking me. For coming. I know...I know that you didn't want to."

* * *

May 13th, 1985 - College

That was true, sort of.

I had wanted to come, but lately, my thoughts and feelings had grown more intense, and being away at college hadn't made them go away. If anything, I wanted her more than ever. So, in May, I'd called home and made up some bullshit story about wanting to take summer classes to get a "jump-start" on finishing my degree. I wasn't really in a rush. Aside from missing Ashley, college had been pretty great, to be honest.

"That's too bad," my father had said, the connection to the pay phone I was using crackling, "I guess I'll have to tell Ashley she'll be home alone this year."

"What?"

"Her school ends before yours. She's going to an early honor's society orientation thing at her new college while you finish up your year."

I would miss her graduation, unfortunately, because I'd be knee-deep in exams.

"Why does that mean that she can't go to the cabin?"

"Well, your mother and I aren't going to take the detour to pick her up or wait for a bus to get her. I have to go a few hours north to a sales meeting, and your mother is coming with me. We're going directly to the cabin from there. She was really counting on you picking Ashley up on the way and opening up for us. We'll be there a week or so after you."

It seemed presumptuous of my parents to assume that I'd be available to pick Ashley up, but thinking about it, it made sense. I went to a state school. Ashley was going to a private university roughly between my college and the cabin. If she was finishing up her initial orientation around the same time I was leaving, it would be only a half hour out of my way to pick her up. And if I didn't pick her up, then she'd have to take a bus home and be alone there all summer. I couldn't even join her if I were to actually take summer classes. Fuck.

Ash loved the cabin, even more than I did. It was her favorite place in the world and was really the only time where we would all be a family together. As much of a pervert as I thought of myself, I couldn't do that to her. I never really considered how odd it was that neither Mom or Dad would go out of their way to get her.

"You know what, Dad, I'll just take my time I guess. If I want to get ahead, I can take an extra class or two next year. Just tell me where and when to pick her up."

I could hear his smile on the other end of the line.

"Great, son. Your mother and I are really looking forward to seeing you. Ash is, too, by the way. She hasn't talked about anything else for the last month. She really misses you."

"Um. Great. I'll see you guys soon."

I wrote down where and when to pick her up. I wished he hadn't told me how much she missed me. It pushed my mind into all kinds of scenarios that I did my best not to think of.

Well, maybe I'd get lucky, and she'd be dragging some boyfriend along with her. That would be tough to watch, but at least it would push my mind to healthier avenues. Or at least I hoped that it would.

* * *

June 5th, 1985 - The Road

Of course, I had no such luck. Ashley was alone, and she was so happy to see me that it was almost ridiculous. She had flown into my arms as I got out of the car and the people around the student center had clearly thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend rather than siblings. I had enjoyed the long, tight, hug, and let my warped mind wander.

I snapped back to the present.

"I did want to drive you. I still do."

"Come on. Dad said you were thinking about taking summer classes, but that you changed your plans when you learned I needed someone to pick me up."

Shit. Why had he told her?

"Well, I mean, I wasn't exactly married to those plans. I thought I was being responsible, but I really miss the cabin. And...I really missed you too. I couldn't bear the thought of you sitting home alone all summer because I wanted to graduate a few months early."

"Oh," she said, quietly. I was uncertain if the emotion I read in her voice was sadness or...something else. "I'm glad you changed your mind."

"I'm glad I did too. Besides, if I didn't come, who would carry you home when you invariably injure yourself in some ridiculous fashion?"

She hit me in the arm lightly but laughed with me. It certainly didn't happen every year, but she'd hurt herself significantly a few times over the many years that we'd gone to the cabin. Once she'd fallen off a log crossing a stream and broken her arm. We hadn't gone home, but she'd been in a cast for the rest of the vacation. Another time she'd burned herself pretty severely trying to toast a marshmallow. Mom's expert care had kept it from scarring her but she'd woken up more than once, crying in pain, and I'd held her until she'd gone back to sleep. The most recent, and sort of funny, incident had been two years ago. She'd dropped a jar of honey on her foot and broken her big toe. It had hurt, but all the doctor could do was give her a splint and tell her to rest up. I'd called her Pooh Bear for months after that, to her dismay.

At least, I thought to myself, we were getting along, and we wouldn't be alone together for too long.

How naive I was.

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Arrival

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June 5th, 1985 - The Road and The Cabin

Finally, we reached our exit. There was little there. A McDonalds and a few gas stations. We took a lonely road past a long stretch of trees, and at last turned left at an old, weatherbeaten "No Trespassing" sign. We drove down the long, gravel road in silence and anticipation, the trees on either side nearly touching above us. If you had never been to the cabin, you would probably be expecting something run down, perhaps even ruined. As soon you came into the clearing, you would realize how wrong you were.

We pulled back out into the morning light. The lake had small ripples from the wind, and the cabin sat on a small hill overlooking it, perhaps one-hundred feet away. It was two stories and had an attic room as well. It sprawled a bit, having been initially relatively small and then expanded in all directions as new generations inherited it. The way our father told it, this had been the first place that our ancestors had settled, and it had gone to the first child ever since then, with the understanding that it would never be sold. I looked over at Ash and enjoyed the childlike delight that played across her face. I suddenly felt that the trip was well worth it. She looked at me and blushed.

"What is it?"

"You always get like that when we arrive for the first time. It's really beau...amusing."

I barely caught myself, but her smile grew anyway.

"I can't help it. I love being here, and I love that you're here too. I worry every year that you won't come. I don't know why, but I know it wouldn't be as special if you didn't."

"What about mom and dad?"

She rolled her eyes.

"You couldn't keep them away. They get so, um, affectionate here..."

She trailed off. I knew what she meant. It was usually left unspoken, but our parents had a lot of sex here. We heard it, and it didn't bother us much as maybe it should have.

"Do you remember when," I started, but Ash cut me off.

"God yes. But I don't want to talk about that right now. Let's go open her up!"

The cabin was always referred to in the feminine, and I never knew why. It was tradition, and as I would find out, tradition was strictly followed in our family, even when we tried to escape it.

I got out and walked to the plain wooden structure. It was made of simple lumber, stained against the elements. It was most impressive from the inside. I unlocked the door, and Ashley rushed in.

Dad paid multiple crews of people to keep the cabin in good shape as it wasn't possible for us to do it ourselves. One was a cleaning crew that came out once a month over Spring, Fall, and Winter and then did an extra intense job right before Summer when we arrived. Another was a handyman who came out regularly and inspected the cabin, inside and out, and then did repairs. The last was from the local grocery, delivering frozen foods, dry goods, and fresh fruit and vegetables on a regular schedule throughout the summer. We never needed to leave the property if we didn't want to, and some summers we didn't. It never felt claustrophobic. After all, there was the lake and miles and miles of trails in the woods. There were so many things to discover and explore.

Besides that, the cabin wasn't as isolated as it appeared. It had a connection for both power and phone, although in bad weather we frequently lost both. We also had a generator for those occasions.

It was honestly a refuge for us. I felt the great weight of school and expectations of success lift from my shoulders. I could just be me, even if it were only for a few months.

Ashley and I unloaded my station wagon efficiently. There wasn't very much, most of it was the stuff that I didn't want to leave in my off-campus apartment, and her bags. She didn't exactly pack light, but with two people everything got moved quickly.

I was just pulling her large duffle bag out when I realized too late that it wasn't completely zipped. About half of it spilled on the gravel of the driveway.

"Shit," I said, picking things up, "I'm sorry."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one who forgot to close it."

We worked quickly, me picking up her stuff (trying to ignore her panties and bras) and her restoring it to more or less how it was. I stopped when I reached a plain brown package. It was light, about the size of a legal pad, and maybe an inch thick.

Remember, open me if things get rough!

Love, Mom

I passed it to Ash, who looked at it and laughed.

"I guess Mom didn't think we'd be ok on our own, so she made sure to give me this before they left on their trip. She was so serious about it, it was weird."

"They're pretty weird in general."

"True," she said as she put the package back into her bag, forgotten quickly in the relaxing atmosphere of the natural setting.

"It's odd, being the only two people here," I remarked.

"Bad weird or good weird?"

"Good weird, I think. I just expect Dad to walk in making a dumb joke and then Mom to laugh and hug him, you know?"

"Well, you should get used to it."

"Why? They should be up in a few days."

Ash looked confused.

"Dad didn't tell you?"

"Didn't tell me what?"

She rolled her eyes at our father's absent-mindedness.

"His trip got extended. He's got to go out of the country and deal with some legal stuff for the new factory in Germany. Some nonsense about it being close to the border. They won't get here for at least two weeks, but probably more like a month."

I froze. A month? Alone? I found the idea very appealing but also a bit frightening. I had been counting on at least having the distraction of our parents to keep my mind off of Ashley. Surely, I could avoid being a creepy older brother for that long, right? I found new resolve, thinking about the fallout if I alienated her. As inappropriate and strong as my desires might be, I never wanted her to hate or fear me, or hurt her in any way. I ended my train of thought to Ashley looking at me quizzically.

"You look...worried," she said.

"I guess I am. I never thought that I'd be alone up here. I mean without Dad."

"I'm not worried. We can handle it"

I nodded, but I also remembered what he'd told me years ago about the old place. I wondered if he'd told Ash. Somehow, I doubted it. He was old fashioned and pretty big on men protecting women. Well, I'd tell her if I had to. It could all be nonsense anyway.

"I agree. I guess I was just surprised. It's not like Dad to fail to mention something like that."

Ashley shrugged.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I want to do the path around the lake."

I nodded, smiling. So we went. It was an easy walk, around two miles in total, leading around the lake, sometimes passing from view and other times right next to it. On the opposite side of the cabin was a series of ruins. Just foundations really, dating back to the first settlers. They were fun to look at, but archaeological teams had dug up everything of interest back in the early '70s. Eventually, we came back around to the clearing with the cabin. Ashley, who had been explaining to me how her last concerts and college auditions had been going, grew silent. I followed her gaze to The Flat Rock.

That was what we called it. It was on our left as we came out of the trees, at the far edge of the clearing with our cabin and directly on the shore. In many other places it probably would have been mundane, but it didn't fit here. It was smooth and flat, unsurprisingly, but was maybe fifteen feet wide by twenty long. There were no other rocks of its size or type nearby. I was no geologist, but I was majoring in engineering with some light focus on architecture. Bedrock was very deep here and tended towards granites. This was more like limestone...but harder. We'd often come out and sit on it to fish or stargaze, as it had many curved indentations that were surprisingly comfortable. There were markings on it as well. I had asked my father when I was younger if they were native, and he said that they were essential to the white colonists, but that he didn't know what they meant.

Ash walked over to it and stopped, wrapping her arms around her chest. I could see the anxiety in her stance.

"What is it?"

"You were going to talk about...what we saw here. Earlier, I mean. I stopped you."

"Yeah?"

"Well...god this is dumb, never mind."

"I'm not going to think it's dumb, dumbass. It's obviously bothering you."

"I've been dreaming about it lately. And they haven't been good dreams, either."

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Witnesses

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July 17th, 1980 - The Cabin at Night

We were both a lot younger; I was fifteen and Ashley had been thirteen. We were bored. That's why I think we did it.

Ashley and I had been playingAdventure on our Atari 2600, but we'd become a little frustrated with playing the mode where all the item locations were randomized. Eventually, being surly teenagers, we started to argue.

"I can't believe you're so terrible. That dragon has killed you the same way, three times now!"

Well, really,I started to argue, exasperated by what I regarded as my sister's lack of skill.

"Like you do any better. You can't even figure out how to deal with the Bat."

"He stole the sword and left a dragon! You can't blame me for that, you little shit!"

"Be nice to your sister! She's the only one you have!"

It was Mom. Dad laughed, seeing our bickering as both typical and healthy. Mom and Dad often took walks at night, and they were leaving for one now. They never really asked us to join which was fine because we usually hung out enough with them during the day. Neither of them waited for a response before they shut the door behind them.

A second later, the silly argument already forgotten, I had another thought.

"We should follow them," I said, quickly, without thinking.

Ashley looked at me, her brow furrowed.

"I...I don't know. It's like really special to them..."

"Yeah, but, like what if they're smoking weed or something?"

I laughed at the thought.

"What if they're making out, though?"

"Then we sneak back. No big deal."

"And if they see us?"

"We went for a walk, too. We can just act like we meant to go in a different direction."

"Ok, I guess."

Ashley was less than enthusiastic, but she was usually game for my dumb ideas. So we waited another minute or two and then left. They often carried a flashlight, and we could see it, the only real light on that cloudy night. We crept toward it, saying nothing.

As we got closer, the light winked out. I stopped, and Ashley bumped into me. We both waited. That's when the strangeness started.