F.I.L.W.A.H.M

Falling in Love with a Homicidal Maniac

(Written and first published elsewhere in 2016, I thought I should share it with a new crowd. I hope you Suicide Squad fans will enjoy it. After seeing the movie I was obsessed with wondering how a woman could fall in love with a monster like the Joker. I needed to write out their twisted love story, and the inevitable fall of Harleen Quinnzel.)

Chapter 1: The News

I pulled through the front gate of Arkham Asylum and my good morning mood began to deflate at the prospects of facing my patients again today. It was Wednesday which meant I had Henry the child mind, and Gilda the broken. Both of them had been abused pretty badly as children and their adults minds hadn't been able to cope. Henry had chosen to stay in his childhood before his abuse had begun at the age of five, he was easy to talk to. I haven't been able to reach Gilda yet, only make her sessions enjoyable by playing music. Sometimes we would even dance. I, Harleen Quinnzel, am the only psychiatrist that has Gilda liked in the whole five years that she has been here.

I have only worked at Arkham for two years but I am already getting tired of it. Yet I still have three more years before I will have enough experience to start working with the Gotham P.D. That is my real goal after all, becoming a criminal psychologist and profiler.

I slowed down on my way up to the asylum, taking the snakey drive way up at a leisurely pace. I am paid a small salary, and no one really cares when I show up as long as it was in time for my patients. They were very strict about patients schedules, less so about the psychiatrists.

As I pull up to the front of the asylum and the parking lot I can see a news van and an army of guards and caregivers swarming around a, presumably, new patient that was being wheeled into the front doors. With all the people flowing around the gurney I can't see the new patient, only a tiny glimpse of the color green before they are swallowed up by the doors of the asylum. I parked far out and started walking towards the building. I watched as the reporters tried to press inside the building and the guards were pushing them back. The caregivers were slowly making their way back inside and making sure not to let any reporters through with them.

As I got closer one of my work friends spotted me and walked out to meet me before I got to the crowd outside the door. It was Jed, one of the caregivers that was especially gentle and nurturing. His sister was one of Arkham's patients and he had become a caregiver to be close with and protect her. He was a really nice guy. Now it seemed he wanted to protect me, as he met me he put an arm around my shoulders. Not something he usually did.

"They are here because of our brand new patient Dr. Quinnzel." He spoke quietly in my ear.

I smiled. "What? Did a football player get one too many smacks on the head today?"

Jed shook his head. Only half heartedly smirking at my joke."No doctor, you'll see."

My smile disappeared, I didn't like his mood. A sense of dread wiggled its way into my heart. I got this feeling that something bad was happening here, something that would be bad for me personally. Like a thunderstorm directly over my home. Or, office.

Jed pulled me along and inside the building. The reporters yelled at me like a pack of dogs barking. "Doctor! Doctor! What will you do to him! What room number is he? Will you lobotomize him? Will you be personally assigned to the Joker? Do you think he is attractive! What medication will he be on?" All these questions I had no idea how to answer were flung at me and it was very relieving to get inside and out of that swarm of reporters.

Judy our front desk secretary looked at me critically. "Good luck with that crazy Doctor Quinnzel." I came out of my confusion fog to frown at her, I have told her dozens of times to stop calling patients things like that. "Judy." I growled at her, she knew, I didn't need to spell out my feelings again.

Jed just pulled me along. "Dr. Lisbon wants to talk to-" Jed was interrupted by the person he had just talked out, Dr. Lisbon's voice echoed through the whole place over the intercom. "All doctors report to the meeting room ASAP! All doctors must be briefed."

Lisbon had never said anything like that over the intercom before, and it immediately made all employees worry a little. As I stepped into the main corridor with Jed's arm still around my shoulders, I saw other doctors walking quickly towards the meeting room. I pulled Jed's arm off of me, he didn't argue or react at all, he just watched as more doctors appeared from around corners, all heading our way.

" I gotta go Jed." He nodded, but I hadn't waited for his permission, I was already following the others down the hall. It only took a minute or two to get there but my mind wasn't focussing on the movement. I was just feeling complete confusion, what was going on?

I entered the meeting room with five other doctors in tow, there were about twenty five of us in all, plus Lisbon the hospital's head doctor. He was a big fat man who ran the hospital like a business, I guess it was really. His three major underlings were the one's who really cared about our patients. They were always very busy and working into the night, Dr. Lisbon was not he left sharply at 4pm everyday like clockwork.

We all sat down at our seats around the grey particle board table. Lisbon was at the main end and some of us started pulling out paper and pens to take notes on what's happening. It was force of habit for psychiatrists. The others were all murmuring to each other nervously. But I kept my eyes on Lisbon who would tell us what was going on.

"Quiet!" He ordered, his chins wagging abit. A tiny bit of resentment and loathing leaked out of me, he was as awful inside as out. He had delusions of grandeur, greed, and I knew he accepted bribes too. I always took everything he said with a grain of salt, today though, I was paying absolute attention.

"We have an especially interesting new patient today, I am sure you all noticed the hub-bub outside a few minutes ago."

Everyone nodded like he asked a question. He had also paused for that acknowledgment. I am not sure why.

"You might consider him a hopeless case, but we here at Arkham are dedicated to helping our patients the best we can. I need volunteers to take his case."

No one moved a centimeter. Which is unusual. One time we had an infamous Gotham politician here and the other doctors nearly drew blood fighting to get him as a patient. Now, not one person asked for it. Some were shaking their heads.

I raised my hand for a question. Lisbon spotted me quickly. "Oh! You have some balls Doctor Quinnzel!"

"Wait." I said quietly, "I just wanted to ask, who? Who is it?" Someone behind me giggled nervously, others chuckled. I wasn't sure why, but they thought I was stupid.

Lisbon shook his head, "You obviously didn't see the news this morning Doctor. Our new guest is the baddest batshit crazy criminal that calls Gotham home, the Joker." I gasped. He smiled at me maliciously, "And you are his new psychiatrist."

I am so taken aback that my legs automatically shoot out and push my chair out from the table and I stand up. "What! I'm, I'm, just an intern!" Lisbon nodded with a smile on his face still, "Yes, and interns do the work that doctor's don't find a priority for themselves. Since every doctor here seems to have a full schedule right now, it seems you are it."

I looked over to the other three interns that had started around my time. They were vehemently shaking their heads, not willing to even speak up for me. No one did.

"Fine." Harleen Quinnzel said icily, then sat down again. "I have Monday's and Friday's free."

"Great!" Lisbon smirked triumphantly at me, I could here a few snickers go around the table. I knew what was really going on though, fear. The Joker was a notorious criminal, who was known for getting revenge on anyone who crossed his path, and killed others on a whim. This was going to be a very dangerous assignment for me.

Charlie, another doctor who worked here asked, "Why isn't he in prison?" Lisbon had a million different smiles, this one was the cat who caught the canary sort of smile. "Because, Batman felt that the Joker needs mental help and might not be able to get help to break out of here since I have hired double the security. Gotham P.D. appreciates my cooperation."

I frowned even more and looked down at the table hard, he was saying that he got paid to keep the Joker here. He was corrupt as any politician in Gotham. They never considered the harm that could come to average citizens when they pulled strings for their advantage. What if the Joker murdered me?

A thrill went down my spine quite strongly, it took me by surprise. I reminded myself that the whole reason I had volunteered for this internship at Arkham was because I wanted experience with the criminally insane, I wanted my career to focus on people like the Joker. It was really a giant gift that had fallen into my lap.

I smiled at my lap quietly.

This was really everything I had ever wanted. I was about to have infinite one on one interviews with the most insane person in all of Gotham. He is mine. And he doesn't even know it yet.

Lisbon had a few more things to say, mostly about the new security for the Joker and new protocols. He told us he would have a meeting with the security team next to discuss all the new protocols and that we would get an email about it before the end of the day. I wrote down a few notes but didn't pay much attention, I will read it again later.

We were dismissed, I wanted to argue with Lisbon but he was talking to someone who had come into the room late. I didn't recognize the man. So, I just left, walking down the halls and into my very small office. I pulled the curtain on the tiny wire laced window of my office. The tiny window seemed like a joke in a room the size of a closet, but I was thankful for it most days. Enjoying the people passing by, and patients giving me awkward smiles and waves.

Today I needed some privacy.

The other doctors wanted nothing to do with the Joker, and considered me the unlucky one for getting him. I did too. Even if I also felt like this was an opportunity to kickstart my career. Another thrill ran down my spine. I would have called it ambition, anticipation, or excitement.

What I didn't realize at the time, that there was fear in that feeling. That the fear warped with my excitement to create a sexual thrill inside me.

Today was Wednesday and I would go about my usual meeting with Henry and Gilda, and file new reports about them. The Joker had two more days to get comfortable with Arkham Asylum before we met for the first time.

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