Facing My Demons Ch. 01

"None of the women I was with ever had the luxury of sleeping a full night in my bed." I sighed and got out of the bed. "Part of me thought it would be like cheating on you. Letting someone else that close to me, you know? I just couldn't do it." I walked off to the bathroom and I left Nikki sitting in the bed all alone.

***

Tia swayed her hips back and forth unknowingly as she went off to the bathroom. In three years she had never let a woman sleep in her bed? It seemed ludicrous but I knew it was true. Tia never lied. Why I let her play with my breasts while she slept I will never know. Sure it was good to reminisce about the old days but letting her feel me up was taking things a bit far. But it felt good and ultimately that might have been the deciding factor. It felt good to have Tia touch me like she used to. Maybe I was still in love with her but what did that mean for me? Tia was obviously ready to start a relationship again but was I? Could I leave Angie? Would I? I didn't know.

***

I emerged from the bathroom and Nikki was right where I had left her. Smack dab in the middle of the bed. She looked more troubled than when I had left her. I was going to say something but she beat me to the punch.

"I lied to Angie." she blurted out. I laughed but she was serious so I let her continue. "I made it seem like you and I had nothing. I shrugged it off and pretended like I had never cared but it was all a lie. I never loved anyone like I loved you." She looked relieved when she finished talking. Almost like a weight had been lifted off of her, I guess in a way she had, but tears still escaped her eyes.

I laughed again, if only to hide the pain in my heart.

"It's alright cara. It's easier to pretend we had nothing instead of thinking about how much I hurt you. How I deserted you. How I broke your heart."

I couldn't control my sadness anymore I grabbed my pants and headed for the door. I don't know how I put my jeans, shirt and heels on while I went down the stairs though I did. But I stopped mid stair and turned around. I couldn't leave her. Not again. I looked back towards her room and I saw Nikki was silently standing in the doorway of her bedroom. She was going to chase me, wasn't she? Yes I think she was. She wasn't going to let me leave. I sighed to myself. Maybe she did still love me.

"I'm sorry." I mouthed to her, without the courage to speak any louder. She had to hate me for what I had done to her. I hated me. I was surprised when she apologized too.

"I shouldn't have told you like that. It was wrong on my part." She reached out her hand and pulled me back into the room. We stood silently for a moment and I was at a loss for words. She walked into the room but I just stood at the door waiting. What did she want from me?

"I should go. I'm sure you have things to do..." I wanted to leave to end the awkward silence but Nikki cut me off.

"Don't leave. I don't have anything to do. I have no intention of talking with Roxy for now and... and I don't have anything else to do." She recovered mid-sentence smoothly but I noticed that she was going to add something else to that sentence. Something about Angela.

"Could you leave her?" I asked firmly. We both knew who I was talking about.

"I wasn't sure I wanted to." She answered flatly. 'Wasn't'? Meaning she was sure now?

"What about now?"

"I just know that I don't want you to leave me... again." The last part of the sentence killed me. She didn't want me to leave her AGAIN.

"Can you ever forgive me for that?" That was probably the most important thing I had asked since I first saw her in that grocery store. I had to know if we would ever be able to move on from that. I knew she would never forget the pain I put her through but I needed to know if she would ever be able to see me as more than just the woman that broke her heart. I wanted to know if she could ever see me as the love of her life again. I had to know.

"I already did." The grin on Nikki's face warmed me right down to my soul. "I'm not mad at you, baby, and I realized last night that it doesn't hurt anymore either... not as long as you are here. I have just really missed you."

I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around her and picking up off the ground. She had said exactly what I had been praying for. All she had to do was say she still loved me.

"Oh god Nikki. I am so sorry. I have missed you so much. I love you more than anything in the world."

"I love you too, baby." She giggled as I spun her around. I didn't know what would happen with anything else or anyone else for that fact but it didn't matter. I had her. I was tempted to throw her on the bed and rip her clothes off but something stopped me. She still had a girlfriend. I set her back down on the ground but I couldn't hide the smile on my face. It didn't matter that she was still with Angela. She loved me and that was enough for me. How could it not be? It was more than I could've hoped for. I was a bit shocked at what she said next.

"I am going to go talk with Angie but I need you to do me a favor?" She wasn't smiling as much as she had been so I got a bit nervous. "I want you to go and see Roxy."

My jaw dropped. She wanted ME to go see Roxy. My baby had to be on something.

"O-okay." I stuttered. If I had to talk to Roxy to get back with Nikki then so be it. "I'll call you when I'm done."

I kissed her cheek softly and I grabbed my purse and ran to my car. I raced over to Roxy's bar. Somehow I knew Roxy would be in the bar even though it was only 11 o'clock in the morning. Hell, if I was her I would be at a bar too.

The bar was brightly light and it felt oddly depressing. Bars are a lot less fun during the day. I walked up to the bar and I saw Roxy sitting on the ground behind it. She had an empty bottle of tequila next to her with another half empty one next to it. I sighed and leaned over to pick up the bottles before helping Roxy up to her feet. She was half conscious. But she was conscious enough to laugh at me.

"I can't believe YOU... are here... and to the... helping me." she said, barely making sense in her drunken state. I find talking to drunk people highly annoying but factoring in that it was Roxy made it 100 times worse. I could barely carry her due to the fact that I probably had a cracked rib or two, FROM HER. But I managed to throw her ass into one of the booths. I was disgusted by her lack of self control. Sure, Nikki was mad at her but we all knew that they would get over it. They had been best friends for almost 11 years. I stood back and looked at Roxy who was hunched over in the booth. For a moment I felt bad for her. Nikki wouldn't talk to her and I knew that couldn't be easy for her to handle. I groaned when I realized that I would have to be the bigger person in the situation.

"Come on. I am taking you home." I picked her up from the booth and carried her to my car. "If you puke in my car I swear to god I will throw you off the nearest overpass." I warned as placed her drunk ass in the passenger's seat. I liked my car a lot more than I liked her and I wasn't going to pretend otherwise.

"I'm not... puke." she said, in a slightly firmer voice than she had inside the bar. "I am not that... wasted. Trust me, I've... been worse."

"Whatever. I just need to get you home." I drove, at a normal speed, towards Roxy's house.

"How do you know... where I live?" She asked as she closed her eyes and rested back against the seat.

"Don't forget who I am, Roxanna Ortiz." That caused her to sit right up in the seat and look at me, with a stupid drunken face. "When Nikki and I were together she spent a lot of time with you. Don't you think I would know who you were since you spent so much time with my girlfriend?"

She nodded but kept looking at me.

"Is she very mad at me?" She asked. She looked like she was going to cry. Oh god, I thought to myself. Drunk and crying. Perfect!

"I don't think she is too mad. She is mostly hurt but it's going to be okay." I pulled into her driveway and we both got out. I was shocked when she was able to stumble towards the door on her own. I kept talking behind her.

"I was actually sent here to tell you that she and I are going to try to work everything out..." out of nowhere Roxy threw a half-assed punch my direction. I easily dodged it.

"What the fuck?" I barked at her.

She just tried to punch me again. That time it got damn close. Then that cunt tackled me onto the ground. I grabbed her and tossed her back.

"This is an Armani jacket you fucking bitch. It cost 5 hundred fucking dollars." I pulled off my black leather jacket and tossed it on the ground near my car. Roxy ignored her inebriated status and she ran towards me again. We both crashed back into the wet grass and a brawl ensued. At first I tried not to hurt her, because she was drunk out of her fucking mind, but then I matched her blow for blow. When she finally passed out, from her blood alcohol level not because of me, I carried her into her house. The door was open. I carried her up to her room and plopped her ass into her bed. I had a brief though about dropping her into a tub full of water and letting her drown but I ignored them. Instead I took her heels, jeans and shirt off.

"This is what Nikki would want." I kept mumbling to myself, ignoring the blood that pouring into my mouth from the busted lip that Roxy had given me. Even drunk off her ass she was still a half decent fighter. I wrote Roxy a note and left it by her bed. The read:

I should've left your ass on the front yard. 12 hours of sun would've done you some good. I am getting back together with Nikki and you won't stop me, EVEN IF YOU TRY. I love her and she loves me too. I know why you're angry with me but trust me; I won't ever hurt her again. I know this all must be difficult for you; it's hard for us all. I will try to get Nikki to talk to you. I know she loves you and I'm sure she will forgive you. I'm sorry you are hurting so much. I really am. But everything will be alright. It's all going to work out. I promise. --Natalia

That's more than she deserved. Now I was almost positive that one of my ribs was broken. My jacket was all scratched up. I had a busted lip and I had chipped a nail. I did a lot more than she deserved. A hell of a lot more. But I did it and then I left, making sure to lock the door behind me. I grabbed my jacket and drove back to Nikki's house. How was I going to explain this to Nikki? 'Oh, hey Nikki. I went to see Roxy and everything went great... right after we got into a fist fight in her front yard.' I doubted she would understand. I prayed she wouldn't be angry at me. My mind raced as I drove back. I stood at the door for a few minutes longer than necessary before I walked in. Nikki came running towards me and she jumped into my arms.

"What took you so long? I have been..." She stopped talking when I winced the she slid out of my arms. "Oh god, baby, what happened?"

"Relax, cara. Roxy had had a lot to drink and she took the news a little rough. I took her home and then we got into a bit of a tiff but she passed out and I left her in her bed. She'll be okay. She just misses you." I kissed Nikki on the cheek and I fell into the couch. She ran into the kitchen and returned with a few ice cubes in a cup and a warm wet rag. She handed me an ice cube and waited for me to put it to my lip. I refused, it hurt like hell.

"Do it. It will make you feel better. Now where else did she hurt you?" she asked with a firm but loving look. I was going to tell her but I had the ice on my mouth. So I lifted my shirt and pointed to the new bruises on my darkly tanned skin. Nikki used the warm rag and wiped at the scratches that were surrounded by the bruises but then she rubbed another ice cube along my bluish purple marks.

"So did your meeting go better than mine?" I mumbled with the ice still in my mouth.

"It went fine. Angie is... She deserves better, a lot better, but I think we both knew what was going to happen." Nikki shook her head slightly in a way that told me that her talk hadn't been much easier than mine, although in a totally different way. It killed me to see her hurting so much.

"Forget about all this." I tossed my ice cube across the room and I pulled Nikki into my arms. "Let's talk about other things. Maybe like your dad." She had avoided telling me that her father was dying of lung cancer. "My dad and your dad are still friends. When your dad got sick Daddy called me. I flew in and talked to him. I made him promise to keep it a secret. Not even my dad knew I was in town."

"Why am I not surprised? He always had a soft spot for you. I guess that's why he suddenly brought you up in a conversation a few months ago. He said you were going to come back for his funeral no matter what I or Roxy had to say about it." She had made it out to be a joke but neither of us wanted to laugh at the thought of her father's funeral. He was like my second dad.

"He said Roxy would have to learn to deal with me one way or another. I guess he knew I would come back for you." This at least got a smile so I was pleased.

"How about we talk about what happens next? What are we going to do, Natalia? What happens to us?" She asked as tears formed in her eyes. I hugged her tighter to me and her chest squished against mine.

"What happens next is what we always planned on. We live happily ever after. I get a job at Daddy's law firm, he'll make me a partner whether the other attorneys like it or not. I buy a house nearby so I can spend every waking hour near you, and the non-waking hours as well. In a year or two when we get settled you quit working then we have a couple of gorgeous kids and then eventually retire at an early age and move to Italy. Happily ever after." I laughed at the thought of how perfect sounded. Forever with Nikki was all I needed. Everything else was a bonus.

"Fuck that house shit." She said roughly but with a smile on her face. "You will be lucky if I ever let you out of my bed, let alone the house."

Nikki didn't laugh. It was less of a joke and more of an invitation. I kissed her. For the first time in three years I actually kissed her lips. It was better than every memory I had. Her plump lips pressed against mine and in no time I had my tongue in her mouth. She tasted sweet. My hands traveled along her sides under her thin tank top. Her perfectly toned legs under her white skirt rubbed against my jean clad legs. I moaned into her mouth and I picked her up off the couch. Bad ribs and all. I forgot about all the pain in my body and I focused on Nikki. I ignored the aching bones and throbbing muscles and I thought only of having Nikki in my bed at last, in our bed. I took her upstairs and she giggled when I dropped her on the bed. I took off my leather jacket and she laughed again. I pulled my shirt off next, tearing at it in the process.

"Someone is anxious." She chuckled. The light in her eyes sent a shiver in me that settled between my legs. The shining blue of her eyes had haunted me for three years and now it was calling to me.

"Cara, I love you so much. I have dreamed of this for so long. I've wanted for so long to feel your skin against me, to taste you, to love all you. I've thought of nothing but this for three years. I've missed you so much." I told her with tears in my eyes as I struggled with button on my jeans.

She smiled and got up from the bed. "I want this to be special for you. I have spent three years trying not to think about you but it must have been even tougher on you."

She grabbed me and pushed me back into the bed. I lay on my back and I watched as she stripped seductively. Her tank top was the first thing to come off. She tossed it to the side and made a show of taking off her bra. She traced along the tops of her succulent breasts before taking it off. I couldn't control myself any longer. I leapt from the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist. I immediately had one of her perfect nipples in my mouth. Nikki moaned a bit but forced me back down. I groaned but obeyed.

"That's enough, Natalia." She mused.

I rolled my eyes but they got wide when her hands unbuttoned my pants and slid them down. I loved it when she called me Natalia. I was only in my panties and bra. She crawled over me in the bed but she didn't let me touch her. She wanted to take it slow. Relax Tia, I thought to myself, let her have it her way. I placed my hands on her hips while we kissed. Her tongue fluttered about in my mouth and I couldn't help but suck on it. She laughed, with her tongue in my mouth, then sat back on me hips. She looked at me and smiled. I almost cried at that moment. I was so full of love it just busted from me. I might've cried but I honestly don't remember. What I do remember is how she rubbed her ass on my leg. I could feel that she had lace panties under her skirt. Had she been planning to show them to me since she changed that morning? Maybe. My hands traveled lower to her ass and I pulled her tighter against me.

"So I'm guessing you aren't going to go down quietly?" She giggled as she pinned my hands above my head. I joined in on her laughing.

"Come on cara, you know me better than that. I couldn't give up so easily." I told her but I decided to let her have her way with me without fighting because she and I were truly evenly matched. Same height, same weight, same strength. We were perfect mirror images of each other, except for eye color. We were one soul. One heart. One love.

"Good." She said as she threw her head back and laughed. The corners of her lips curved upwards and she flashed me a breathtaking smile. "It's so much more fun this way."

This caused me to laugh as well but she silenced me with her mouth on my throat. She kept a firm grip on my hands and she kept my body down with hers as her teeth grazed the flesh of my throat. She still knew what drove me crazy and it was amazing. I felt the dampness between my legs multiply. She kept biting, licking and sucking on my tender flesh until I begged her to continue. She gave me an evil grin and a wink. I rolled my eyes again at her.

"I want a promise from you, Natalia De Luca." she said firmly, causing me to laugh once again. I loved being with her. It was so easy. So natural. "I am going to let go of your hands but if you move I am going to stop. Do you understand?"

I nodded slightly and Nikki slowly let me go. I kept my hands above my head and I watched as she unclasped my bra, in the front, and let it fall back. She looked down at my body for a second and I felt my nipples grow hard just from her intense gaze. She raked her nails along my ribs before hopping off of the bed.

"Don't move or I swear to god you are finishing by yourself tonight." I laughed as she raced off. It was almost like I had never left. She was already threatening to withhold sex. I loved the humor in it all but I still didn't move. I was slightly surprised when Nikki returned with a cocktail shaker. I could hear ice in it. My girl was a sneaky devil.

"Thank you for listening." she beamed.

She leaned down and rewarded me with a few kissed along my ribs. It tickled slightly and I felt goose bumps cover my skin. She placed the shaker on the counter and took an ice cube from it. After straddling my hips, and removing my panties, she ran the cube along my lips. The ice started to melt slowly and Nikki licked the cold drops from my lips. The ice then went down my neck and it spent a surprising long time around my collar, followed by her hot tongue. The change of temperature was driving me crazy. She lifted her head from my neck and looked at me. She was making this special for me but driving me to the brink of insanity. It was marvelous. The ice soon melted before she could go any lower and she had to replace it. The second ice cube was wasted on my right shoulder and the third on my left. The fourth melted somewhere between my breasts and it wasn't until the fifth that she started to draw circles around my nipples, never actually touching them until I was begging. She winked then ran the ice over my nipple before closing her mouth around my sensitive flesh. I think I cried out but I don't remember anything but the feel of her hot mouth on my skin. As she sucked one of my rock hard nipples she ran the ice cube over the other, switching between them regularly. She wasted two more pieces of ice doing this and soon enough the shaker was empty and I thanked god.