Failing Upward Ch. 13

"It sure would," I coughed.

"Damn right-- not because of the immortal or the gay thing, but because of Shackleton."

Sid was safe. Best way to keep him that way was to keep away from me.

"Thank God Sid never found out."

"Ha! That's ironic," he laughed. "The night before you disappeared you told him something. Lucky for you and him, he didn't believe one word."

"How did you know?"

"Sid told me."

"What did he say?"

"He said you told him you were an alien from another galaxy."

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At 10:30 p.m. I sat down to my PC and did a search on time travel. I no longer had Sid, the consummate computer geek, to research and answer my every question. I had to do this, and I kicked myself for not taking the initiative before this-- maybe I could have prevented me from getting all that sand in my hair.

Itch, itch, itch. Scratch, scratch, scratch. I still felt like I had sand on me. God, you never knew the freedom of being able to reach in your pants and scratch your nuts until you can't do it for weeks. I reached in and gave the boys attention. After giving each of them equal time, I scratched my head just because I could. I had fingernails since I hadn't been able to bite them for weeks so I was able to do a respectable job.

I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands-- something else I hadn't been able to do in a long time. I leaned back in the chair. I had so many questions. Most of which had to do with my missing memory of this time and how the last months fit together. I didn't want to gamble changing time again. That meant I was pretty much stuck here.

I had to know how Sid fit in. Why had I tried to tell him the truth (or at least maybe what I thought was the truth) the night before I disappeared?

I opened up Word and typed out my most pressing questions:

1. Why don't I remember this time line like I did the first time with Sid?
2. Could I possibly control the jump through time?

3. Why would I tell Sid I was an alien?

4. Did Shackleton have the same powers as I do now?

I knew I wouldn't find the answer to my last two questions on the Internet. The first two, however, I could.

I began my search, and I began it simple. Just time travel. My brain couldn't handle too much at the moment. I skimmed first for credible information, book-marking places I thought were best. I'd go back to them when my brain was up for a crash quantum physics lesson.

Then I stumbled on interesting site.

I couldn't help myself. I read it all. Some physicist at Cambridge wrote that a time traveler should not remember the previous time line. Not unless that person was protected from it-- like some magic force field. Maybe Sid and I protected each other that first time. This time I didn't have Sid. Maybe this guy was just plain wrong. Had he done it?!

Or maybe there was another reason I didn't remember. There was another time when I didn't remember… when this all started. The car accident. Maybe I didn't remember because of the trauma to my head. Shackleton must have hit me with the shovel too. That might explain it.

Then there was a third possibility. Maybe it was psychological. Maybe I didn't remember because what happened was just too horrible. Maybe my mind was protecting me from the truth.

Then I saw the words 'parallel universe' and a fourth possibility that never occurred to me see seemed all the more likely. Maybe I wasn't changing time at all. Maybe I'm in an alternate universe.

Maybe Shackleton was off in another existence tormenting me right now.

Fuck. Now my head hurt.

I added that to my search, and I read on...

The Internet is a time machine of a sort. I looked up, and it was 2:46 a.m. I'd collected some interesting information. I was more confused than when I started. I definitely had found no answers. Instead, I had more questions. I shut down the computer and kicked off my slippers. I got up, walked over to bed and pulled back the covers and tried to go to sleep.