Faith, Hope and Love

"I get that the heart means love, but had no idea that an anchor means hope," I said thoughtfully, before looking deep into her eyes and letting her see a little of my desire. "Although, I'm less concerned about their meaning than about the fact that I can't decide which of the three I want to kiss more." Faith's eyes grew a little big and she smiled slowly.

"Down boy," she teased. "You still haven't even seen all my tattoos."

"There's others?" My groan was real. She smiled knowingly.

"One more, but it's the biggest by far. Don't get your hopes up. I'm not going to let you see it yet."

"That bad? Or is it located somewhere you can't show me here?" Faith laughed at my question, but refused to tell me anything else about it. We were interrupted by the waiter coming and dropping off the check. Faith began reaching for it, but I grabbed it first.

"At least let me pay half," she demanded.

"Not going to happen. This is the best date I've been on in years. You're not going to ruin it by arguing about the check, are you?"

"You consider this a date?" Faith sounded surprised. I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips for the second time. She let me and even returned it, but she seemed more tentative this time. I guess it made sense in a way. The first kiss was after her emotions were in overdrive from singing the Christmas Carol for her father.

"Definitely," I answered afterward. "And if I'm lucky, the beginning of a Christmas romance. Maybe even something more than that."

"Has anyone ever told you that you come on a little strong?" Thankfully, she sounded more amused than angry, or maybe the right word was bemused.

"No one else has ever had a reason. None of the girls I've dated before have ever affected me like you."

"Wow," she said, shaking her head. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that and knowing Faith, she wasn't going to explain. I was proven correct when she changed the subject. "So, are you ready for some Karaoke? It's your turn to sing."

"Not in this life time." I dropped enough cash on the table to cover the check.

"I guess that means it's time for me to find my hotel and grab some sleep. I'm not expected at my friends until tomorrow. It was nice meeting you." She was obviously joking. It was nice to see she was enjoying herself, even at my expense. Her mood had changed significantly since we first met and I was happy that I had something to do with that.

"That's fighting dirty." Faith laughed at my response.

"It's your own fault," she argued. "I was feeling really down before you came over with your silly 'Haven't we met before' line."

"I believe I started off with asking you if you were just passing through."

"Like that's any better." I wasn't offended because she was right. It was pretty lame.

"A fair point," I laughed. "But I still think I've seen you somewhere before." The waiter came by and took the check, thanking me when I told him to keep the change.

We left the table and made our way back to the bar. Neither one of us was ready to call it a night. The only problem was that the bar was a lot more crowded now and we couldn't find a place to sit, at least not with Faith's duffle bag and guitar in tow.

"Maybe it's a sign." Faith was getting frustrated. I didn't blame her. It was difficult getting through the throng of people with her duffle bag. I was guessing that the guitar case wasn't any easier. Still, I wasn't ready for this night to end and that seemed to be what she was hinting at.

"It is. It's a sign that we should lock this stuff in my car for safe keeping and continue to have fun." She gave me an odd look that actually made me laugh. "Don't worry. I'll give it back whenever you want to leave."

"Maybe that's a good idea."

It took a little effort to make it to the door. I think I only bumped two people with the duffle, but honestly, I wasn't sure. I spent most of the trip apologizing to strangers. Faith followed close behind me. Once we made it outside it became obvious that it had gotten a lot colder in the last few hours.

"I guess I'm not used to crowds anymore." Faith sighed despite the frosty weather. The relief didn't last long though. "Or the cold. I'm freezing!"

"Give me the guitar and go back inside. These no reason why we both have to do this." She hesitated and for a moment I thought she was afraid I'd steal her stuff or something, but then I realized she was looking at the bar and not me.

"I'm not sure I want to go back in there even without my stuff." I guess the crowd really was bothering her.

"No problem. Let's go to my car. We can warm up in there before we decide where we're going next." I turned and made my way to the parking lot without giving her a chance to disagree. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Faith.

We put her stuff on the backseat and quickly got into the car. The cold wasn't nearly as bad once we got out of the wind. I turned on the car and let it warm up.

"So, what do you feel like?" She looked thoughtful for a moment at my question and then broke into a smile.

"Hot chocolate. I haven't had any in a while and this weather sort of demands it."

"Hot chocolate it is." Faith was rubbing her hands together to warm them up, so of course I reached out and took them in mine. It wasn't intentional, but when she looked up and met my eyes I once again did what came naturally. Faith accepted my kiss willingly enough so I guess she felt the same.

It didn't take long for the car to heat up, but I think we beat it by quite a bit. I know I did. I was patient with Faith and didn't rush the kiss. Eventually her lips parted and I tasted her for the first time. It felt like many things, but mostly it felt right. I lost track of time for a while. It was obvious that Faith did as well. I'm not sure how long we would have stayed like that if someone didn't beep. They wanted our parking spot. We separated reluctantly.

"Hot chocolate." My voice was a little rough as I reminded myself of where we were off to next. I pulled out of the spot and glanced Faith's way. She was touching her lips with a far off look in her eyes. I reached out and took her free hand as soon as we were out of the parking lot. She turned toward me and smiled hesitantly, but she looked troubled. I frowned and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I wasn't expecting this. Whatever this is."

"What do you want it to be?" I knew what I was feeling. The question was, did she feel the same?

"I'm not sure." Her eyes met mine and I saw the confusion there. Her answer was honest, but it didn't help. I felt a twinge of fear because I had no idea what to do if what I was feeling was one sided. The whole situation was scary in a way I'd never faced before.

I tried to rationalize, telling myself she might feel the same and not know it yet or that she might at least grow to feel the same eventually. It didn't make me feel much better though. I'd never felt this way about a woman before and it was driving me crazy.

Faith must have noticed something odd in my expression as I stared at the road because she squeezed my hand, drawing my attention back to her. It felt good to know she cared enough to make the effort, but she still looked confused so it only helped so much.

"I'm not sure how much of this is genuine and how much is just the moment," she said, trying to explain. "I mean, tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm going home for the first time in two years. I'm feeling very emotional. Maybe this isn't real." I swallowed with some difficulty because it sounded very much like she was trying to convince herself. I couldn't let it go at that.

"But what if it is? Do you really want to pass up on the chance that what we're feeling is something more?" I kept one eye on the road and one on her. Faith's expression was thoughtful, but every so often her eyes darted nervously. It was pretty obvious that she was still unconvinced and seemed to be working herself up to something. I had a feeling that it wouldn't be good if she ever got there so it was time to back off a little. I didn't want to scare her away.

It was my turn to squeeze her hand. I did so gently until she looked at me again. "How about this? How about we don't overthink this whole thing tonight and instead, enjoy it for what it is? Maybe it's something long and lasting or maybe it's not, but it feels good right now and I don't want to lose that." I didn't quite hold my breather, but it was a close thing. I was relieved when the tension surrounding her eased a little and she smiled tentatively.

"Me neither," she admitted, sitting back in her seat.

I decided to remain silent because what I was feeling was too strong. if I spoke right now I wouldn't be able to hide it from her and that would only make things worse. I knew what I was feeling was real in a forever kind of way, but she needed time. I was willing to give her as much as she required. I'd never felt this way for someone before and deep down I knew I wouldn't again.

"So, you mentioned hot chocolate?" I was relieved that she changed the subject. It let me focus on something other than what I was feeling.

"You have two choices," I said in a light tone. "One, we can go to this coffee shop I know about twenty minutes away that makes the second best hot chocolate in the world."

"Second best? Who makes the first?" I grinned at her question. It was exactly what I wanted.

"That would be me. I loved my grandmother's hot chocolate so much when I was a kid that she told me her secret recipe. I've improved on it since then. I'm willing to bet quite a bit that you'll love it if you want to come over my place and give it a try." She arched an eyebrow at me which made me grin. "It will be the best hot chocolate you've ever had. I promise."

"Smooth," Faith said with a shake of her head. I didn't bother commenting. Instead, I focused on convincing her.

"Did I mention that my house has a fireplace? We can sit in front it, enjoy our hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies all night if that's what you want."

"Fireplace? That does sound tempting." I could tell that she wasn't quite ready to accept my offer despite her interest.

"How about I promise to be on my best behavior?" Faith didn't seem to believe me based on her expression, but she looked more amused than anything else. "Hey! I haven't done anything to earn that look. I think I've more than proven I'm a good guy."

"Oh, I know that," she replied confidently, making me feel warm all over. "But the key word in that sentence is 'guy'."

"I'll be the perfect gentleman." It was a last ditch desperate offer, but I really wanted her to say yes. Faith tilted her head and looked at me for what felt like a long time. I could tell when she finally came to a decision.

"And what if I'm not looking for a perfect gentleman?" My heart skipped a beat at the desire I saw in her expression. That was not the reaction I was expecting. "What if I'm looking for someone who's a little smoother and comes on a little stronger than a typical gentleman?" I swallowed with some difficulty before answering.

"Well, that does come more naturally." Faith started laughing and a moment later I joined her. The laughter seemed to help relax us both.

I continued to hold her hand as I drove to my house. Thankfully, it wasn't that far. We really didn't say much during the trip. We didn't have to. I think we both enjoyed the shared silence as our anticipation grew. The heat between us was a palatable thing by the time we arrived. Of course, it only lasted until I parked the car and we got out. The cold hit us like a wall.

"It's freaking freezing out here! You better not have lied about the fireplace!" Faith pulled her guitar out of the back seat while I grabbed her duffle bag.

"Woods already split, stacked and ready to go," I promised as I led her to my house.

"Nice porch." I smiled at her comment and nodded. It was one of the things I fell in love with when I first saw the place. It had a wraparound porch that was great in the summer.

"I'll show you the outside another time, when it's warmer out." She nodded in agreement. I could see her shivering. I quickly let us inside. We dropped her stuff off in a corner of the living room. She saw the fireplace and smiled as she rubbed her arms trying to warm them.

"Very nice."

"It's getting there." The truth was that I was proud of my house. I'd put a lot of time and money into it. "It's a bit of a money pit, but it's my money pit and I love it. Let me get rid of our coats and then I'll show you around." She took hers off and handed it to me somewhat reluctantly because she hadn't warmed up yet. I hung it on the coatrack near the door with mine. I know this sounds silly, but even they looked like they went together despite the different styles.

I spent the next few minutes showing Faith around. I'd bought the house from an old couple who retired to Florida. They'd done an admirable job maintaining the place, but a lot of stuff was original and I slowly began replacing the parts that weren't worth saving as soon as I bought it. For instance, the Formica counters in the kitchen had to go. On the other hand, the crown molding in most of the rooms was definitely staying.

"There are three bedrooms. I've only worked on the master so far, but it came out pretty good even if I do say so myself. How about we go take a look?"

"Still smooth and still coming on a little strong," Faith teased. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"I thought that's what you liked about me?"

"I do," she smiled, giving me a quick kiss. "But, let's save that for later after we warm up."

"Tease." I was only half joking. Faith smile turned more playful.

"Hey, you were the one who promised me the best hot chocolate in the world, a fireplace and a good Christmas movie." She was watching me. It was almost like she could see the internal struggle.

"Fine," I finally relented. "But I never promised the movie would be good." Faith started laughing and after a moment I joined in as I took her hand. We made our way back to the living room.

"Nice piano," she said as glanced toward the corner farthest from the fireplace. "Do you play or is it only for show?"

"I play," I answered, cracking my knuckles and shaking my hands out. "But only when my fingers aren't stiff from the cold. Which should I start first? The fire or the hot chocolate?"

"If you go outside and get the wood, I'll start the fire while you make the hot chocolate. My house growing up had a fireplace and dad seemed to think setting the heat at sixty-five in the dead of winter was normal. Let's just say that I learned to get the fireplace going by the time I was ten."

"A girl of many talents," I joked. That earned a smoky smile from her. It made all the expected parts of me stand up and pay attention.

"You have no idea, but don't worry," she teased back, the promise clear to see in her expression. "You probably will before the night's done." Faith was so not like what I was used to, but as I looked at her I realized how good that could be.

"I'd better go get the wood before I come on even stronger than you like." I heard Faith laughing as I ran out the back door to the wood pile. It made me smile despite the cold.

The fireplace had a couple of logs that were just beginning to catch when I was done making the hot chocolate. Faith was sitting on the floor in front of it watching the flames. I put on some Christmas music and grabbed a blanket from the end of the couch before joining her. I handed Faith one of the cups and the blanket. Faith laid the latter out so we could sit on it before taking her first sip from the former.

"This is good!" Her eyes grew big as she took another, longer taste. She shook her head afterward and grinned. "It's also spiked. Is this how you 'improved' your grandmother's recipe?"

"Absolutely not," I deadpanned. "All I did was add some nutmeg. The alcohol is all grandma."

"And she gave this to you when you were a kid?" Faith eyebrow was raised as she waited for my response.

"Sometimes," I laughed. "You'll understand when you meet her."

"You sound awfully confident that I will." Faith was watching me in that way she had. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I knew it had to be interested based on the conflicting emotions that I saw in her eyes.

"One day soon." Something changed when I uttered my reply. Faith nodded slowly as if accepting the moment for what it was. The hesitation I'd seen earlier disappeared. I felt something powerful form between us, but then she looked away and changed the subject once more.

"This hot chocolate is very good, but the best? I don't know about that." I could tell she was teasing, but I was in no mood to retort in kind. Sitting next to her and seeing her skin glow in the firelight had my mind on other things. Faith took another sip from her cup.

"You have a little on your lips." She started to reach up to wipe them, but I stopped her. "Let me." I leaned forward slowly, giving her a chance to stop me, but Faith didn't. In fact, her deep chocolate eyes got that sexy, smoky look again.

I lost myself in the taste of her. Her mouth opened to mine and the lines between us blurred. There was no one to interrupt our kiss this time and it felt incredible. The logs were fully encompassed in flames by the time we came up for air.

"I did promise you a Christmas movie, didn't I?" The words came with some difficulty as I fought to regain control. I didn't want to go too fast and scare Faith away. I learned a moment late that I needn't have bothered.

"Later," Faith replied huskily, reaching out and pulling my shirt up. The desire in her eyes made me want to laugh in relief, but I didn't. Instead, I helped her pull off my shirt before reaching out for hers. It came off almost as easily.

I froze for a moment when I saw that both of Faith's thick nipples were pierced with straight barbell rings. My surprised only grew when I realized she was also wearing a belly button ring that was simple and yet sexy as hell. Maybe I should have expected more piercings, but for some reason the thought never entered my mind until I saw the reality. That didn't mean I didn't like what I saw. In fact, I was stunned more by the primal hunger that surged through me at the sight of Faith's piercings than I was by the fact she had them.

"Any more?" I asked with some difficulty. Faith shook her head.

"I tried a tongue ring briefly, but talking with it was a pain."

I reached out and unbuttoned her jeans, lowering the zipper slowly and exposing more of her skin. She not only let me, but also smiled as she took in my reaction.

"No piercing below the waist?"

"Definitely not. Even the thought of that makes me shudder." She obviously had never even considered it seriously. I didn't blame her.

"Hmm, interesting." I pulled off her jeans and panties leaving her naked. I took a few moments to take in the sight of her totally unencumbered body. Faith was definitely one of those people who looked better without clothes, not that she didn't look good in them too.

Her breasts were shapely without being oversized. Her pale skin was smooth and begging to be touched. The curve of her hips made my mouth water, but it was the sight of the dark patch of hair peeking out from between her legs that really got to me.

"You obviously like what you see." Faith had a satisfied look about her. I guess she was enjoying my reaction to the sight of her naked body.

"You have no idea!" I groaned, completely losing control and falling on her. Faith was surprised at the abruptness of my reaction, but she didn't complain when my hands wandered across her body as I kissed her deeply.

Every new discovery I made with Faith only turned me on more. On most girls, the purple streak in her hair, the piercings and the tattoos would have probably turned me off, but with Faith they only added to her allure. I didn't quite understand it myself. All I knew was that everything about this girl drove me crazy, and that wasn't even taking into consideration the deeper emotions that talking with her and listened to her sing awoke in me.