This time I did laugh at his question. Joey wasn't offended though. He smiled. But he was looking at me like he was expecting an answer. Well, it was my fault, I was the one who started the stupid game.
"I wish I could say it was Mike," I finally said. "But it was my boyfriend before Mike, Colin. We dated forever. I was 16."
"Sixteen," Joey said, drawing out the 2 syllables. He looked off into the distance like before, like he was processing what I just told him. Was he imaging me, a young 16 year old, barely legal, having sex with my boyfriend? The thought sent a chill down my back and I had to force myself not to shudder.
"Was Colin a virgin too?" Joey finally asked.
"No," I said. "He was 16 too, but he lost his virginity before." I shrugged. "He was the star high school quarterback. He was really popular."
"You were popular too though, right?" Joey asked. "I remember Mike saying you were prom queen?"
"Yeah but, it's different for girls, right?" I said with another shrug. "We were actually dating at the time. We'd just gotten together. Colin cheated on me." I shrugged again, like it didn't matter anymore, but it still hurt when I thought about it. "That's a reason I love your brother. Mike would never cheat on me. Never."
Joey looked like he didn't know what to day. Well, of course he didn't know what to say. He was only 18 and I was throwing a lot of shit his way. Wanting to change the subject, I said "Drink your beer because it's my turn." Joey grinned and took a gulp. Then, I grinned back and asked "So, when did you lose your virginity?" I half assumed he was still a virgin, but I didn't say "Are you still a virgin?" because I didn't want him to think I thought he was still a virgin.
To my surprise, and relief, Joey said "Back in July."
"Oh," I said, instantly regretting the surprise in my voice. "Who?" I asked.
Joey's cheeks went red and didn't answer. I said "Come on, I've answered all your questions."
Looking embarrassed, he said "My dad took me to AC ..."
It took me a moment but then I got it. "Dad got you a hooker in Atlantic City?" I asked incredulously, my eyes gawking out.
"Dad didn't want me to go to college a virgin," Joey blurted out, as if that solved everything. Let me be clear, I love Mike and Joey's dad. He's my dad too now. But that just proves all men - even good men - can be shitheads sometimes.
I narrowed my eyes at Joey and said "Did dad do that for Mike too?" Oh my god that would make me so mad! Mike wasn't a virgin when we met, I know that. But if he slept with a prostitute - if he lost his virginity to a prostitute - then first off, that means he lied to me when he told me he lost it when he got drunk at a frat party. And second, I would be soooo mad at him. Honestly I would lose a lot of respect for him. And I would seriously hurt dad the next time I saw him.
"No, he didn't," Joey said hurriedly. "Mike isn't shy like me. I mean he's shy, but not like me. Dad just knows I'm an idiot around girls. I'm pathetic. I never had a date in high school, until the senior prom. And Rachel asked me. And we went as a group, it wasn't even a date. I lied before, I haven't gone on any dates in college. I'm a complete loser around girls. I mean, tonight's the closest thing I've ever had to a real date."
I stared at Joey. Never gone on a date? How was that possible? Especially since he was so sweet and good looking. How was it possible Joey Andrews had never been on a date? Feeling terrible for Joey, I reached over and squeezed his hand. "Well, you were a great date tonight," I said, giving him an encouraging smile.
Joey flinched at my words. "Don't pity me okay?"
"I'm not pitying you," I quickly assured him. "I just can't believe you haven't been on a date. You're really handsome Joey. And a lot of fun. I can't believe girls aren't lining up for you."
"I'm just ... awkward around girls," he said. "I never know what to say. I get so nervous I forget my name."
"Okay now you're bullshitting me," I said with a laugh. "You're not awkward. We talk all the time. We never run out of things to talk about."
"But that's with you Jen," Joey said. "I'm comfortable around you. You've always been nice to me. And you're so sweet and bubbly. It's easy to talk to you."
I looked down, feeling charmed again. This boy really knew how to make a girl feel good. And I could tell he was sincere. It wasn't just a line. He really meant it.
"Well thanks," I said, smiling at him. "But I think it's just because we know each other. You just need practice around girls, that's all. Then you won't be as nervous."
"How do I get practice?" Joey asked. He joked "Go to AC again?"
"No, definitely not that," I said with a laugh. Joey laughed back. I thought about it. Then I had an idea. It was a crazy idea. But I said it anyway. "Maybe practice with me a little," I said.
"What?" Joey said softly.
"Practice with me," I said with a feigned nonchalant shrug. "Like tonight. We can pretend to go on a date. Things like that. Pretty soon you'll feel comfortable being around girls."
"Okay," Joey said, his voice still soft. He looked like he was having trouble breathing. "I like that idea," he said, his voice cracking and barely audible. "So how do we ... how do we do that?" he asked. "What do we do next?"
"Well, you've already bought me popcorn, and rubbed my feet, that's a good start," I joked, wanting to ease the tension.
"Yeah," Joey said. He grinned, but he still looked shy and unsure, uncertain of the next step. He looked like a lost puppy. In other words, he looked adorable.
"It's getting late," I said. "Maybe we should end this date."
"Yeah, okay," Joey agreed, but he looked and sounded disappointed.
I pursed my lips, considering. How far was I going to take this? I knew it was stupid, dangerous. But here's the thing. For the first time in a long time, I felt alive. I felt wanted. I felt pretty. I felt the way I used to feel. And I liked it. I didn't want it to end.
So I found myself saying, "At the end of every date, you should kiss the girl. She may not want that. And if she doesn't, you never force it. But you should always try. Otherwise she might feel rejected."
"Okay," Joey said slowly, processing this.
I patted the sofa cushion next to me. "Come here Joey, I'll show you."
Joey's eyes went wide. He practically leaped over the ottoman to sit next to me. It made me smile. That eased the tension too.
I moved my face close to his. "Are you ready?" I asked. "I'll show you how."
"Yeah," he said excitedly.
I moved closed until my lips pressed against his. I started slow and soft, because that's how girls like to start. That's how I like to start. But Joey quickly got impatient. He grabbed me and pressed his lips hard against mine.
"No Joey, no," I said pulling away. "Soft okay? And slow."
"Okay, I'm sorry," he said, looking like that lost puppy again.
"It's okay," I assured him. "Just let me show you how, okay?"
"Okay," he said breathlessly.
Again I moved close and kissed him. Slow and soft. This time when Joey kissed me back he was slow and soft too. "Better," I whispered, not moving my lips from his.
We kissed like that for long moments. I felt myself breathing harder, and I knew he was too. I parted my lips slightly. Joey didn't do anything, he either didn't know what to do or too scared. "When you feel me open my lips," I whispered. "It means I want you to put your tongue in my mouth."
"Okay," Joey said. He was panting.
"Not too hard though," I whispered. "Soft."
"Okay," he said breathing hard. It sounded like he was practically having a heart attack.
We kissed again. Joey was a fast learner. I admit I was starting to feel lightheaded. When it felt right - when I really want it - I parted my lips. Almost immediately Joey pushed his tongue into my mouth. But he wasn't rushed or rough like before. He was soft. Gentle. Exploring.
I explored back. Not because I was teaching him. But because I wanted to. I caressed his tongue with mine. He caressed me back. We were seriously making out now.
"Joey?" I said between kisses.
"Yeah?" he said back.
"As we kiss ...," I whispered, urgency in my voice now. "Put your arms around me ... and caress my back."
Joey didn't have to be asked twice. And to his credit, now he understood I liked it slow and soft, so he took his time, he wasn't rough, he wasn't impatient. He took me into his arms, holding me just right, never talking his lips off mine. Then he started caressing me, and he did it just right, exactly how I like it. He caressed me with his fingertips, lightly stroking me, drawing circles up and down my back. I knew my nipples were rock hard, I knew my panties were soaking. This boy was driving me crazy!
Then Joey did something, and I don't know how he knew to do this, maybe Mike told him, or maybe he saw Mike do it. But anyways, there are a few places, if you touch me or kiss me there, I lose all control. As we kissed, Joey caressed up my back. He caressed under my hair to the back of my neck. And then he caressed - he drew soft circles - on my neck underneath my ear.
Oh my god! I gasped and saw stars! I freaking moaned into Joey's mouth and saw stars!
Although we weren't grinding each other we were close enough that our bodies touched and I could feel his bulge against me. He felt hard and big. God I wanted to touch him. I wanted to reach into his pants and touch him.
I knew I had to stop this. It was a pretend game and this had gone way too far. So somehow I pushed away from him. I was panting, gasping for breath. I was relieved to see that Joey was panting too, breathing even harder than me.
"I think that's enough for tonight's lesson," I said, forcing a laugh to make it sound like it was all a game, like I wasn't that into it.
"Yeah, okay," Joey said, clearly disappointed.
I muttered hurried good nights then rushed to my bedroom, closely the door firmly behind me. Then I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart still beating hard. My nipples were rock hard and my pussy was aching. I put my head in my hands. What the fuck am I doing?
Chapter 2
I didn't sleep at all. I was a mess the next morning. Somehow I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for work. I dreaded seeing Joey.
To my relief he wasn't there. Then I remembered. He had an early class on Thursdays.
I went to work and thought about it all day. I managed to calm down. It hadn't been that bad, I told myself. I was helping Joey. Mike loved his brother, he would want me to help him. Okay we kissed. Big deal. It was just a freaking kiss. Better he kiss me than a hooker in Atlantic City.
I wondered if Mike knew about what his father did, getting Joey a prostitute in AC. I decided he probably didn't. Because of the age difference Mike was really protective of Joey. He would be as mad as me about the prostitute, ever madder probably.
Mike would want me to help Joey. After all it was just a pretend game. I loved Joey, he was my brother-in-law. Mike would want me to help Joey because I cared for him, I'd make sure to teach Joey the right way to treat girls, and what to expect from girls so he didn't get taken advantage of.
By the time I got home I was feeling better about everything. Like yesterday Joey was waiting at the door when I got home. He had an expectant, excited smile on his face. I knew he was hoping to go on another "date." I couldn't help giggling to myself at how obvious he was.
I went into my bedroom and changed. Off went the blouse, skirt, pantyhose and flats. I put on a stretchy long sleeve top, yoga pants and cotton socks (my normal evening attire) and joined Joey in the TV room.
Joey still looked at me like he wanted a replay from last night. No way. Over a glass of wine (Joey had a beer) I said "We're not going on another date tonight Joey."
His face fell and he looked like a lost puppy again. He was so young and innocent and adorable it was hard not to be touched. "You have to be patient Joey," I explained. "Play a little hard to get. If you call her too much she'll think you're desperate and lose interest in you."
Joey slowly nodded, taking this all in. "So Mike plays hard to get with you?" he asked. He looked incredulous. "Doesn't he want to be with you all the time?"
I frowned and pursed my lips. Yes, that's how it used to be. When we first started dating, Mike couldn't get enough of me. Honestly, that first year, I almost broke up with him because, well, he seemed desperate. But then I got to know him better. All the wonderful things about him, they were under the surface, it took time to see them. Eventually I realized how great a catch he was.
Those early years, Mike was all over me. I was the center of his world. We call each other "baby," that's our pet name for each other, but he started calling me "his goddess" sometimes. I loved it. If you've ever been in love, you know how wonderful it is to be so loved by the person you love.
But then Mike got busy with his job. He's working on something he calls "Sapphire." Really though it started before that. Maybe 2 years ago. I don't feel like the center of his world anymore.
I don't know what it is. I still look the same as before. I haven't gained weight, I work out, I still have the same figure. I think I'm still pretty. Hopefully I'm still sexy. But Mike's not as hot for me anymore. It used to be, he wanted sex every day, sometimes more than once. Now, it seems like I'm the one initiating it most times.
It's not just us though. I think maybe that's how it is with all married couples. My best friend Allie, she's going through the same thing. The red hot intensity at the beginning of the romance starts to cool off after you get married, as the years go by. There's less flowers, less sweet nothings, less sex. You kinda settle into a routine. It's comfortable, secure. I'm happy. But I guess sometimes I miss the romance. You know, the infatuation. I guess maybe I wish Mike would call me "his goddess" again. It doesn't have to be all the time. Just sometimes, the way it used to be.
I looked back at Joey. I didn't want to dump my drama on him. He's probably too young to understand. Anyways, maybe he and his future wife will break the mold, maybe they'll be madly in love all their lives. If that was his dream I didn't want to burst his bubble.
So I said, "It's different when you're married. You don't need to play hard to get anymore. It's okay to want to be together all the time. That's a good thing."
Joey did that slow nod again. I could tell he didn't understand. Whatever. This punk kid had pushed a button in me and now I was feeling melancholy, and upset. Earlier that day at work I'd called Mike 4 times. I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, after what happened with Joey last night. The first 3 times he didn't answer, and he didn't return my calls. The last time he finally answered, but he could only talk a minute. I know he's busy, I know he's working hard, I know he's trying to make a better life for us. But that doesn't mean I'm not lonely. It doesn't mean I don't feel neglected.
I drained my wine glass. "Can I have another?" I asked Joey, holding out the empty glass to him. He quickly refilled it.
Sipping his beer, Joey asked "When I meet a girl, what should I do with her? I don't like clubbing. I freeze up in groups. I like movies but you can't go to the movies all the time."
I thought back to what Mike and I used to do, when we first started dating. Neither of us had any money so we rarely even had the option of going to the movies. "Mike and I played records," I said. "You know, vinyl LPs. I collected Bruce Springsteen records, I still do. I brought my record player to Mike's apartment and we listened to Bruce." Remembering back, I smiled and said "And we played board games."
"Like what?" Joey asked.
"You know, the classics, Monopoly and Trouble and Clue, things like that," I said. With a laugh I said "We played Twister a lot." Remembering, I laughed again and said "Mike loved that game."
"Why?" Joey said smiling back at me.
"Why do you think?" I said with another laugh.
It took Joey a moment but then he got it. There's a lot of touching in Twister. Of course Mike loved playing it with me when we first started going out. It almost always led to sex. Or at least kissing and cuddling.
"I guess maybe I should learn how to play," Joey said.
"You've never played?" I asked incredulously. "Oh my god we've got to correct that right now."
Joey helped me pull over the coffee table and ottoman and I got the Twister box from the cabinet. It was the same Twister game Mike and I had in college. I spread the big plastic Twister map on the floor and explained the rules to Joey. The mat has six rows of large colored circles on it with a different color in each row: red, yellow, blue and green. A spinner is attached to a square board and it tells you where you have to put your hands and feet. You can't have your hand or foot on the same circle as the other player. The person who falls first is the loser.
Joey and I were soon in a tangled mess, laughing and falling all over the place. It was always that way with Twister. We kept score at first but soon just played for the fun of it. Soon my hair was a mess and we were both a little sweaty and out of breath from all the exertion and (especially) the laughing.
At one point I was spread eagled far apart. My left hand and foot were on green circles; my right hand and foot were on reds. Joey was on top of me. It was his turn and the spinner stopped at Right Hand Yellow so he had to reach underneath me. But instead of putting his hand on the mat, the shithead put his hand on my breast, cupping me over my t-shirt.
"Um, Joey, hello?" I said to him in a "what the fuck" tone of voice. There wasn't anger in my voice. It was like a question, like "what the fuck?"
"Is this what Mike does?" Joey said as he began squeezing and kneading my breast. At that moment I wondered if I was being played. That maybe Joey wasn't the young naïve innocent boy I thought he was, but a player. Maybe his "I'm pathetic around girls" and his lost puppy dog looks were all an act to get inside my pants. To screw his sister-in-law.
But no way. I watched Joey grow up. I knew him. He IS a young naïve innocent boy. No way he could fake all that. So instead of telling him to go to hell, I said "Yeah Joey. But you need to stop that."
"Tell me what else Mike does," Joey said as he continued to fondle me.
"Joey ...," I said weakly. I felt my nipple hardening in his hand. All of a sudden I felt his hard-on pressing against me, pressing between my ass cheeks in my tight black yoga pants. And just like last night, he felt really hard. And big.
Joey moved his lips to my ear. He said "You're so pretty Jen. You're so pretty. I've always wanted to do this." He was still fondling me, and his hot breath into my ear made be shiver. And then the shithead started kissing behind my ear. Little kisses, soft and slow. Behind my ear! I think my eyes rolled up into my head and I moaned. "Come on Joey, you've got to stop, come one," I said pleadingly.
Then we were on the floor. Me on my back on top of the Twister mat, Joey on top of me. We were kissing. Joey's a fast learner. He was way better than last night. Soon we were trading major spit, tonguing each other. My thoughts flashed to Mike. We'd made out many times on the Twister mat. And now I was making out with his little brother, on the same mat. It made me feel even worse.
"Stop Joey, stop," I finally said, pushing Joey away. I wiggled from underneath him. Both our faces were flushed. We were both gasping for breath.
I knew I needed to get control of this situation. I was 29 and he was only 18. I was experienced, he was innocent. I'd been with a few men, and Joey had only been with a skanky prostitute. In the end that's what decided it for me. Joey - sweet adorable Joey - he deserved more than just a prostitute. And I was his sister-in-law, I watched him grow up, I cared for him, loved him, I should be the one to teach him. At least that's what I told myself.
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