Farewell to the Dancing Man Ch. 11-20

"You knew about that?"

"There's little I don't know about your mother's flings, she's fairly obvious when she's having them."

"You speak as if there's been more than one."

"Several actually."

"How can you tell?"

"All sorts of different ways, like staying out later than is normal when she goes to functions, going to more than is usual, looking all gooey eyed at them when they meet. She's not as good an actress as she likes to think she is, and she gets really jealous if they pay attention to anyone else while she's around."

"And you put up with all of this, why?"

"Because I love her, still love her."

"Didn't you say anything to her about this?"

"Yes, on a couple of occasions I had words with her about her behaviour."

"What happened?"

"She was all full of remorse and contrition for a while and even showed a lot more affection towards me, but it didn't last long before she was back where she had been. I expect she thought that by doing that she would allay any fears that I might have had that she was actually having an affair. I think that she thought I would divorce her because of her adultery."

"It seems to me that she has a strange idea about relationships."

"I must admit that I often had the feeling that her idea of give and take was 'me give, she take'. Her idea was to give only enough to maintain our marriage but not enough to strengthen it."

"This must have caused you a great deal of stress?"

"Of course. I hope that I've been able to cope with it, sometimes I'm not so sure . . . ." His voice trailed off into silence.

"If you ever need any support." There was no need for me to finish the statement. Daddy's arms came around my shoulders and he hugged me to him.

"You are wise beyond your years. He3re I was planning to give you a lecture about the birds and the bees and you end up helping me out with my problems." He kissed me lightly on the forehead and held me for a while longer before releasing me. There were traces of tears in the corners of each eye which he brushed away as if they had no right to be there.

"I love you Daddy." It was my turn to hug him, I rested my head on his shoulder. "We have each other."

CHAPTER TWENTY

"And your relationship with your parents, how was that?" I resented Brownlow's intrusion into my thoughts.

"Pretty normal I think. Sometimes I loved them, others I despised them especially when they wouldn't let me do what I wanted."

"And friends, I imagine that you had plenty of those?"

"Not really. I had only just started having boyfriends when Mummy left, so for a while I had to be there for Daddy. He didn't seem to have all that many friends that weren't friends of Mummy's, so he didn't have anyone to turn to. I filled in that gap."

"How well?"

"If you're thinking what I think that you're thinking, not that we''. I sort of became his housekeeper and confidante."

"After your mother left, did you see this Paul bloke?"

"Once, briefly."

"Do you know if your father did?"

"Yes, at the same time. You don't think that the body could be his?"

"That is something that can't be discounted at this time. Tell me all that you can about him."

"What is there to tell. His name was Paul Thomas. He was a car importer with his own business. He was successful in just about everything that he did, but he threw away his business to follow Mummy to England."

"Was he married?"

"Yes he was, although he certainly didn't act married, his sort never do."

"Did he have other lovers apart from your mother?"

"Probably. He was never short of female company."

"Non-committal."

"What do you mean?"

"Was he your lover?"

"I was only eighteen at the time."

"No answer."

"Would it make any difference if he was?"

"Probably not, I'm just trying to piece together an overall picture of what was going on around here."

"If you really must know, he was. He and I made love a number of times and then it ended."

"Did you have any other lovers?"

"Do you mean, was I promiscuous? I had a boyfriend at the time that Mummy left but we weren't lovers. Then after she'd left I didn't go out with anyone until I started business College. That year I had several boyfriends but I only made love to a couple of these. The when I went to work for Peter's father Peter and I started dating almost at once. Yes we were lovers before we got married, and no, we didn't 'have to get married'. Since then I have had no lovers until you came along the other day."

"This leads me to the next question, why the rejection?"

"Peter and I have decided to try harder to make a go of our marriage and I don't want anything to jeopardise that."

"When will you know whether it's going to work?"

"Who knows? It might take forever, I hope it does."

"I'm getting the picture. What do you think your husband would say if he were to find out that you and I. . . ."

"He will. I intend to tell him myself."

"Oh."

"Yes, so don't get any ideas that you will be able to upset our plans. What we did is in the past and Peter will understand that."

"Okay, back to work. Did your mother ever marry this Paul?"

"No."

"How can you be sure if you haven't heard from her?"

"My friend Fliss was over there last year and I got her to make inquiries. She told me that Mother lives alone but is not always alone, if you know what I mean."

"You never thought to try to contact her yourself?"

"No, like my father I want her to make the first move. I don't have the same depth of feeling for her that he had, but if she were to make the effort I would be prepared to talk to her, to meet her half way. I would even be friendly, after all she is my mother and I feel that I owe her that much."

"But she has to make the first move?"

"Yes, she walked out on us, she wasn't forced to leave. Daddy and I would have been prepared to take her back, I think, if she had asked us. He probably would have asked her for some tangible assurances that she wouldn't leave again. He loved her enough to take her back, but on his terms, although I personally don't think that she would have been prepared to stick to them. He was not prepared to grovel to her as he had in the past. He had enough of swallowing his pride for her."

"Your father sounds like he was a pretty special kind of guy."

"Yes he was. His pride and self esteem had taken a battering over the years but he still had this capacity to love, although sometimes he found it hard to swallow, especially where Mummy was concerned. She accepted his love in the same way she would a cat's purr, it was always there but unlike a cat, Father seldom had to be patted to make him purr. It was too easy for her, she could rely on him to be there to pick up the pieces when her affairs came unstuck, but when she decided to leave she gave no thoughts to his feelings at all, or mine for that matter. She was a selfish bitch, but a proud one. I will never hear from her again."

Brownlow stood up. "I'd better be getting along, I have a couple of leads to follow up. I'll contact you if I need any more information."