Felicity Ch. 60

Chapter 46: Southern Decadence

Mom and my sister Angela had to evacuate their home in Felicity because of an approaching tropical storm. It was not a hurricane but it had a lot of rain in it. Her subdivision was not likely to flood but the road to it was and they did not want to be stranded.

They came to my place but although I lived just seventy miles inland my small bachelor pad was over twenty five feet above sea level. My home became crowded quickly.

I did see that Mom was worried about the storm and was not able to relax. My sister was fine except for a bit of anxiety about college, she was going to be an incoming freshman at Enormous State University that next week.

They needed a distraction so I asked, "Who wants to go to New Orleans?" I asked.

Both of them did but I soon found it difficult finding hotel rooms and I had to tone down their enthusiasm. I had forgotten that weekend was Labor Day weekend and that was the week of Southern Decadence. I explained to the ladies what Souther Decadence was, (a celebration of being gay), and Angela asked if it was for lesbians too.

Mom slapped her butt and I said yes.

Mom may not have known I knew of my sisters sexual orientation. Sis had probably not mentioned that for her eighteenth birthday I had gifted her with a night with my then girlfriend.

I eventually did find one room was available at the Hilton Riverside that had two queen beds. Both nodded and I booked it for five days, Tuesday to Sunday. I planned for us to come back after the parade that Sunday.

I let Angela drive my car after we left the city until our rest stop just east of Lafayette. She figured out I let her because it was a boring drive. I told her that she should be happy because she would get to look around for the interesting part. Angela punched my shoulder anyway. Mom giggled.

This was my fourth visit to New Orleans and I knew the French Quarter and downtown areas pretty well so the ladies were going to have a semi competent guide.

We settled into the hotel OK but were hungry so I called to see if we could get reservations and was surprised we could. I told the women we had dinner reservations in thirty minutes.

"We can't be ready in thirty minutes."

"It's to the original Emeril's."

They were ready in ten minutes and we were walking in ten minutes later. Our table was ready so we were seated right away.

What to order became a conundrum, we wanted everything in the menu. We decided to each order something different and give each other tastes.

I ordered the duck and was quickly reluctant to give the others a taste. They were just as reluctant with their dishes so we never did share.

I did not look but I saw my dinner bill had a lot of numbers on it. I was glad we each had only one drink. The ladies took a lot of napkins out of the restroom for souvenirs.

We took a cab to the one lesbian bar I knew, I wanted that itch they had to be scratched. Mom and Angela were soon very well entertained.

I ordered drinks for us and the bartender asked me how old my sister was.

"Eighteen, a college freshman," I answered.

"On second thought fix her coke with lemon and cherry and sprinkle just a bit of pepper in it. One of us needs to be sober."

"The bartender said, "That sounds like an awful drink, let me make her the designated driver special. They are free anyway."

"You are so smart. Thank you."

"You are welcome. A bit extra in your Mom's drink?"

"Yes, please."

Both loved their drinks and wanted another. The bartender smiled at me.

I was sure she didn't remember me but on my previous trip my gay friend Bruce decided he wanted to go there so we did. He spent his time chatting up some t-girls as the bartender and I graded his effectiveness.

Her name was Lauren and she was a short, terminally cute blonde. I liked her but assumed she was a lesbian. She likely assumed I was gay. Everyone that night assumed I was gay too. I was never asked.

That evening I found a corner of the bar where I could be comfortable and out of the way and still keep my eye on Mom and Angela. It was the same seat I had occupied when there with Bruce.

Lauren replenished my beer and Mom and Angela's drinks without being asked. I noticed I now had a tab. I had not secured it with a credit card so I took one out of my wallet and placed it on the bar. It was the second time we had done exactly that.

It was a while before she ran it which she did as soon as two other bartenders joined her behind the bar. The club was getting very crowded very quickly.

Perhaps an hour later I saw Mom agreeing to something with two women. She and Angela came to me and kissed me saying, "Don't wait up."

I was a bit concerned, I had hoped they would have fun and perhaps enjoy an experience but not on our first night.

My bartender said, "Don't worry. They will enjoy those two. They are visitors but have been coming here twice a year, they come here for Mardi Gras too. The Mom is a professor at UNLV."

"Thanks but now I have been abandoned."

"You are in New Orleans during weird week. Have fun. There are two gay bars full of interesting people on Bourbon street."

"Yes, I know. And there are a couple of items on my bucket list I could check off. Like you said it is interesting there. I need to sign my tab."

She brought it to me and I signed it and added a twenty dollar tip.

"Have fun," she said as I walked out.

Instead of the gay section of Bourbon street I walked towards Canal looking for changes. I knew one transvestite place was gone and that there were new strip joints but had not figured out which was the one that had lured Grandma and Grandpa by claiming it was family night.

Grandpa was a sucker for a good line but he told me that it was Grandma that could not resist it. It was also Grandma that got the lap dance. It had not been their first time in a strip joint.

I went into three places that had good music and left each time the band took a break. I ogled bare tits exposed for beads.

I got a hot dog from the same cart I had gotten one a year before, and two and four years before. When I got to Canal the long day caught up with me and I went to the hotel room.

I was surprised to see Mom and Angela asleep in their bed. It was just two hours or so after they left me at the bar.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower then started to get in bed when a mostly nude woman got out of Mom's bed and walked out of the room. I don't think she ever saw me.

I looked in their bed and only Mom was in it. She was nude.

I covered her up and I was doing my best not to panic about my sister when Angela came in, mostly nude, and slipped into bed with our mother.

I knew it was my fault, I should have raised them better. I was asleep in thirty seconds.

We spent the next day walking around the French Quarter and buying junk. We walked down St. Peters and ate at a restaurant next to Jackson Square, had coffee and beignets, and went to the French Market were my ladies bought more junk. We took the Riverwalk streetcar back to the hotel.

After a shower and a nap we went to NOLA, Emeril's restaurant in the French Quarter. We did sample the other's food that time.

With no assistance from me they found their way to the lesbian bar from there.

The bartender kissed my cheek and praised me for my heroism in bringing my Mom and my sister back. She then kissed me hard but said, "Sorry, I am a lesbian too."

"But, but, I'm in love with you," I blubbered.

She laughed hard but for as long as I was at the bar every time she went past me she gave me a fine kiss. Apparently she now remembered me from my last visit when I was with Bruce. We had flirted then.

We had flirted the year before that when I did not know it was a lesbian bar. I may have had a brief crush on her before it crossed my mind I was likely the only one there that was not a lesbian.

Sometime later that night I asked her which lady was going to kick me in the balls. "I want to run before she gets close," I said.

"Coward. You are lucky she is not here. Your ladies are not going to last much longer anyway. They have agreed to something.

Indeed they had and told me not to wait for them as they walked out with four other ladies.

Lauren told me two of the ladies were local and that my Mom and sister were going to be devoured.

"That is what they wished would happen," I said with a smile. "That was what apparently happened lat night."

"Why do you say that?"

"We have to share a room with two queen beds, this town is full right now. When I got there last night a nearly naked woman walked out of the room. Before I was past that shock my nearly naked sister walked into the room and joined Mom in bed."

"So, they are having fun."

"Yes. They are also not worrying about what the storm may have done to their house which was the main reason I brought them here."

"That was nice of you to do for them. What did you come to do?"

"Suck a cock, it's on my bucket list."

"You wont have a problem with that." she said with a giggle.

"I thought you and your friend from last year were a couple?"

"No, business partners and good friends. He has now gone on to California. Do you have a bucket list?" I asked her.

"Sort of, most items are travel wishes."

"Is Costa Rica on that list?"

"Yes, top five. Why did you ask?"

"I am going during Thanksgiving week. You can come with me if you want," I said as I twitched my eyebrows.

She laughed and said. "That was a mean thing to say to me."

"Sorry," I said and softly kissed her lips.

I really was sorry I had teased her like that and she saw it. She kissed me and said, "Go find a cock to suck."

I left but was not in the mood for that so I found Acme Oysters and had some fried then began to walk towards the Hilton.

I took a new way there and found myself in front of the House of Blues. Peter Frampton was in concert that night and I walked in hoping to hear him. There was a commotion at the theater entrance and I had to get out of the way as a fight spilled past me. Before I realized it I was in the theater. I leaned on the back wall and enjoyed thirty minutes of the concert.

I decided I owed the joint money so I bought a beer for me and paid for the drinks of two young ladies at the bar next to me.

"Thanks but we are lesbians."

"It seems every pretty lady in this town is. But I'm gay so I am just treating two pretty ladies because they are pretty."

"That was a very inspired bit of bullshit, thanks."

"You are welcome. How was the concert?"

"Awesome except for the fight."

"I saw the tail end of that as the combatants were escorted out. It wasn't because of either of you I hope."

Both laughed and said, "Inspired."

"Are you in town alone, " one asked.

"No, my Mom and sister came with me. They met some new best friends forever at the lesbian bar and are being entertained by four women."

"You know where the lesbian bar is?" We have been looking for it all day."

"If you go towards the cathedral you take a left before you pass Margaritaville then..."

One of them kissed me softly and said, "Take us there please."

It was not close to midnight so I finished my beer and said, "Lets go."

I learned they were from Florida and that this was their first trip to New Orleans. I also learned they did not mind holding hands with me.

As I walked in with them I introduced them to Lauren who promptly kissed them then kissed me.

"I am always so happy when you bring me presents," she said and kissed me again.

I was about to explain that to the girls but they were already on the dance floor. Lauren was being a smart ass. I gave her the finger and she said, "Your'e not that lucky," then kissed me.

I sat at my usual corner seat and watched everyone for a while then left for the hotel. I wanted to say goodnight to Lauren but she was very busy and did not see me leave.

I walked back by way of St. Peters but when I got to my room I decided I better open it slowly, just in case. There was no one there. I took a shower and went to bed, still alone.

I was still alone when I woke up the next morning but Mom and Angela staggered in just before I phoned them. Each groaned something that sounded like g'nite and crawled into bed mostly clothed. It must have been a good night for them.

I went to breakfast in the hotel then walked over the Aquarium. I had wanted to go there on each of my trips but my companions were never interested. It turned out to be a better excursion for me alone, I could spend as long as I wanted at each exhibit. The white alligators alone cost me at least twenty minutes.

It was past noon before I left the Aquarium and decided to check on Mom and Angela. They were up but still mostly catatonic, and still nude.

I expected each to put something on but they never felt the need until they decided they were hungry. I led them to Acme, both had raw oysters and I had a oyster po-boy.

The we walked down Bourbon street, it was a slow crawl full of very interesting people many of them in leather. We saw a woman leading another by a chain and collar. We saw a guy wearing a clear plastic skirt, and nothing else.

As we walked past the gay corner Mom and Angela struck up conversations with several there. By the time we made it to the ancient bar I had taken more than a hundred pictures. We saw a nearly naked man sitting on the lap of a nearly naked man. Angela asked the man on the lap if he had a cock in his ass. He nodded yes.

We saw a guy in a corner with his hand around an exposed cock. There were several women there and my ladies struck up a conversation a couple of them and agreed to meet them at the lesbian bar that evening. Their senses were saturated so we decided to walk back to the hotel by way of Rue Royale. Jewelry was purchased along the way.

We took a nap then went to dinner at Emeril's steak place then took a cab to the lesbian bar.

Lauren greeted us with kisses and I went to my usual spot and watched Mom and Angela work the room. They were now very much at home there by then.

Lauren chided me for leaving before saying goodnight the night before. I said, "I tried to catch your eye but you were super busy."

"It doesn't matter how busy I am, you come to me and kiss me before you leave this place each evening for the rest of your life," then kissed me.

That was a very different kiss from the many she had given me before. Those had been kisses you give a favorite customer or a good friend. The kiss that night had been a kiss to me.

I was suddenly afraid to get my hopes up.

The evening went as the others had, the ladies they had met that afternoon came in, found Mom and Angela, kissed them deeply then took them to the dance floor.

"It looks like they already know those two," Lauren said.

"Yes, we met them this afternoon at the ancient bar. They agreed to meet here tonight. Mom and daughter are teachers from Dallas."

An hour later after Mom and Angela said,"Don't wait up," again, Lauren brought me a cup of coffee.

"I'm not drunk," I said.

"Yes I know but you would be if you keep drinking and you would not get to walk me home."

My look prompted her to kiss me.

"Sorry," she said.

"I would prefer a coke please."

"Oh, you did get that item off your bucket list. Congratulations."

"No, its still there. Last night I went to Acme then the House of Blues where I met the girls who had apparently been looking for this place all day so I guided them here. I was walking towards my room at the Hilton when I was detoured."

"Have you had fun at all since you got to town?"

"Yes, this afternoon I was accosted by an old guy at the Absinthe. I was tempted to go home with him but I have already been in Idaho."

I got whacked with her towel for that but as she walked away she was giggling.

Ten minutes later I got up and put myself between middle aged ladies that were about to come to blows. I was a tall guy and in good physical shape, they may have thought I was the bouncer.

I said, "Ladies please, you came here to have fun. You should be kissing each other, not punching each other out. Please kiss and make up."

One was not about to calm down but the other hugged her and gave her a long kiss. I saw her adversaries' body deflate. I walked back to my chair at the corner of the bar.

Lauren gave me a smile but did not come my way. I finished my coke and got up to go but as soon as Lauren saw that she brought me another coke.

"Where were you going?"

"Hotel. This place is too violent for me."

"Can you wait another five minutes, please?"

I resisted asking why she wanted me to wait and decided I had nothing better to do so I sat and asked for a twist of lemon for my coke.

She smiled then got me the slice of lemon, then kissed me. It was another personal kiss but different from the first, I could not tell why it was.

Fifteen minutes later she came to me, took my hand and led me out the door.

"I am starving and you are going to buy me dinner."

She led us to an unmarked door half a block away and opened it. There was a small restaurant in a patio inside and we were immediately seated. Lauren pointed at a chalkboard behind the bar and I saw the menu, just four things were listed. One was an all you can eat fried catfish special and decided to order that.

A guy came over that appeared to be the owner, kissed Lauren's cheek and asked me what I wanted. I told him and he walked away. I looked at Lauren and she smiled and said, "That's what I always get so he knows."

"Did you get off early?"

"No, I have the six to twelve shift. The other two girls you saw have the ten to two shift and closing."

"Which days do you work?"

"Sunday through Thursday."

"So you have the next two days off, nice. Are you and your girlfriend going to see the parade Sunday?"

"Not really, I will be in the parade."

"Not your girlfriend?"

"No."

"Oh."

I decided not to ask which was OK since our baskets of catfish came to our table. Our sides were a cup of red beans and rice and a basket of fries.

The catfish was nearly the best I had ever eaten and soon ordered a second basket. The rice and beans had bits of sausage that was too hot for me. The fries were ordinary so I concentrated on the catfish.

I noted Lauren ordered her third basket before I did. She slowed after her third basket was delivered and we could talk.

She said, "This place is for the people who work late. It stays open until six in the morning. It opens at ten each night. Tourists and lost people are welcome but unless somebody shows them where it is they would never find it."

"You showed me where it is and right now I know I could not find it again. Hmm, the place is getting full."

"The people that get off at midnight are coming in. There is another rush after two that does not clear out until past four."

"There are fewer than ten tables."

"Most order ahead then pick up and take it home. I usually do that too but I found a patsy to pay for my dinner."

"I left you more in tips than your dinner costs."

"Tips are shared. Anyway I did not charge you for any of your drinks tonight after you became a referee. All your drinks forever are now free. One of the women in the altercation was the owner, she was the one that kissed the other.

The two were once in a relationship that did not end well. The fight was over whose fault that was. Dottie thought kissing Holly would at least shut her up. Holly was crying when she left so Dottie is going to visit her after they close."

The women knew I was not the bouncer yet listened to me. I was....perplexed.

Lauren decided it was a good time to kiss me. About twenty seconds later I decided it was a good time to kiss her.

We kept that up until we were almost done with our fourth basket of fish when we surrendered. Both our dinners had cost me less than half of one entree at NOLA. And I liked it better.