Feline and the Mongrels Ch. 05

We had our Thanksgiving dinner at our house with our extended families and enjoyed a break from work and colleagues. We were in a comfort zone that was peaceful when a shock hit us like a brick wall dropping on us. A friend died. He was not close but was fun to be around and we liked him an awful lot. It was a shock to get the news that very night, that he had finished his Thanksgiving dinner with his family too when he had a stroke and died. It was the wrath of God again.

I felt a depression drape over me. I had just turned 49 this week, and he was only 5 years older than me. We were both over weight. We both had bad diets and very little exercise. I wanted to pull myself up and dust myself off and start again, but...

It was now December and I was feeling mellow; not good, not bad. It was Friday and I was working on some Christmas art on the computer, when Fe came to me before going to work. She said she wanted to tell me, she'd felt something this week. She felt she missed him and just wanted to get it out in the open so I could help her fight it. She said she wasn't thinking about making love to him as I had always envisioned, just missed him and the kisses, but she didn't want that either, and wanted me to help her be strong.

I told her I gave her my blessings and felt we had nothing to worry about as long as we kept talking. I told her I saw the side of her she so despised as sexy and desirous, and a part of her I would miss if she changed. I explained that we don't hate the friends that lust after her, so why should we hate the side of her that lusts after another. I told her that as long as she made her husband happy nothing else really mattered, because we could get thru anything together now. She agreed to some of this and took what she wanted out of my speech. She then kissed me and went to work.

The weekend was nice with a road trip to see some of our remote family. We did laundry and homework on Sunday. Just before I went to work she said, "Thanks for our talk Friday. It really helped. I didn't think about him at all and believe I'm over him." I on the other hand was rekindled.

I have had some wet dreams thinking about their possible renewed lust. I dreamt I was in a bar in a wheelchair looking for sympathy when I saw some pretty girls on a massage table bouncing about. I offered them a message and they asked if I could, being in a wheel chair and all. I told them a joke.

Ever hear the one about the farmer with the long eared mule? Seams this farmer felt sorry for that mule because every time she went into the barn she'd scrape her ears on the frame. One day that old farmer got out his ladder and saw. He marked off where her ears hit the frame and began to cut. Well, along came the postman who asked the old farmer what he was doing and got the story I've just told you. Then the postman asked him, "Why don't you just dig a ditch thru the doorway. Appalled the farmer answered, "Because STUPID, it's her ears that are too long... not her legs."

Well, in my dream it seamed to fit so the girls let me up on the massage table to rub their backs. But before I got there I found myself thinking of Fe. She was straddling my face and telling me she was sorry because it had happened again. She was telling me she had told him she missed him and he asked for a hug, to witch she agreed eagerly. She said she couldn't stop and wrapped her arms around his neck, as he wrapped his around her waist. I ate her pussy as she drove me wild with her cat-tail.

She continued, "He lifted me and I held on tight and kissed him hungrily. I wrapped my legs around him and he move one hand to my bottom to hold me up." I licked and sucked fearing any word from me would break her spell.

She said, "I felt his hand leave my back and work its way up to my titty daddy. I was afraid to stop, feeling that if I did we'd never kiss again. So I let him touch me." I pushed my hands up to her titties and squeezed them as she rambled on.

She continued, "I was biting his lips as his warm fingers squeezed me like this, suddenly he pulled back daddy and I felt I was about to fall! He moved both hands to my bottom and lifted me higher. Then he drove his face to my breasts and began sucking on my nipples. All I could do was bight my lips and hold his head tight to my breast." I squeezed her tits in both my hands as I sucked hard on her pussy.

And on she went, "Then I felt his fingers stroking my pussy. I gasped, oh yes. And then I noticed his hard boo-toe was poking me. I forgot about you daddy as I lowered myself letting D's dog-bone rub my pussy."

I was sucking hard on her clit now, when she said, "I pulled my legs up higher around D's waist and felt his fingers slide into my pussy again stroking it from my clitoris, thru my very wet labia. He started really chewing on my nipples now. Then finally I felt him push it deep into my vagina daddy."

She was holding my head and rubbing her cunt all over my hungry lips and tongue, "Then I don't know why daddy. Maybe it's because we had practiced it so many times, but I said it. I didn't realize I was saying it really; it was just the right thing to say right then daddy. I was whispering into D's ear, "Fuck me D! Yes, please fuck me D! Oh D I want your big black boo-toe in me now. Fuck me D!"

I was about to explode with the excitement, with the story about to reveal the tail end we'd practiced so many times, the story she'd fantasized, but then I woke up. She never got to the description of what came next. I was awake damn it. I had wet shorts and the last memory was of her whispering the words "Fuck me D."

I could still see her perched above me in her pretty red negligee just like she had for real a week before. I could remember the smell and taste of her nasty fucked pussy just as it had been then. I collected my thoughts and remembered those realities were ours and the fictitious part was just a weird dream that never happened and probably never would. I guess this has all been a bit weird, agreed?

Well, on another morning Fe came to me as I slept and woke me, not by the means. This time she was gently nuzzling me while she stroked my manhood thru my underwear. It was no dream.

I love the feeling of having my balls scratched. The tickling sensation is absolutely wonderful and irresistible. She had me in her control before I could think.

I would have liked to keep the hunger going to see if she would carry it into work and allow temptation to move her, but I was too far for that.

She was naked as I awoke and she moved my hand to her slippery wet pussy to play with as she gently squeezed my dick causing it to fatten and swell. I was in heaven as my fingers pinched her clit in unison.

Finally she asked if I wanted to fuck her. I did, and we did, and just the two of us enjoyed a tender moment alone.

Another time soon after, she came to me again, and this time I asked her to tease me. My idea was to have her sit on my face again, but she thought I meant role-playing. She looked at me and said, "D, fuck me." I got hard as a bat and attacked her.

She was loving it and so was I. While we played she told me she had fantasized D fucking her in a dream. I asked if it was a tender moment, and she said, "No, he took me and held me and fucked me."

I asked if she liked it and she said, "Yes, but I don't want to think about it. Forget it." So we resumed fucking in silence for a while.

Finally when we were at our peek she started yelling, "Fuck me!" and I asked who. She said, "Oh D, fuck me, fuck me in the elevator D! I want you to fuck me D!"

After we finished and collapsed in each others arms, she said, "I made that part up about the elevator, for you daddy." I said, "I love it. Thank you. Next time it will be just us again, okay, no D?" she smiled and agreed happily.

One day she came in and told me D had asked some strange questions about coworkers not wanting to work with him. She said it was probably his breath, but she couldn't tell him. I told her she should be honest with him. Dogs prefer truth over feeling good.

The next day she said she couldn't do it, couldn't tell him he had dog-breath. Then she went to work. I sent D a text asking if he wanted the truth about what she felt. He called and asked what I meant. I explained how she didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him he had dog-breath, but that she felt sure that was why others were avoiding him. I added it was why she held her distance. My hope was that he'd fix the problem and go to her to see if it changed things.

Instead, last week became our last curtain call for this saga of two dogs and a cat. Fe called from work and said D had turned in his notice. He is quitting.

I asked her how she felt and she shrugged. I told her she needed to mend the pain both of them were suffering. She looked lost. So I wrote her another letter, to remind her why it was important to do this. Here it is.

As I said yesterday Fe, it is so very important for you to mend this division between you and D, now! Why? I'm glad you asked! Let me tell you why!

You desired D enough to start flirting with him, tempting him into desiring you too! You enjoy his affections enough to inspire several kisses, by asking D to hug you again and again knowing each hug was to become another romantic kiss, and each kiss built a stronger bond! You hungered for more of his loving attention, or you would not have kissed him more and more.

Then you felt guilt, and knew you were not strong enough to say NO to D's wishes. You felt guilty because you knew in your heart these were your wishes too. You felt guilt, and reasoned apart by any means was the best thing for everybody. You felt guilt, and decided to drive D away. You felt guilt, and told yourself he is a bad person because he would do this with you. You felt guilt, and told yourself he is a bad person for wanting you, denying your own want for him. You felt guilt, and convinced yourself D is the bad guy causing your frustrations and worries by tempting you.

I have been trying to get you to look at the truth for a long time Fe. You feel guilt, so you fight my opinion, and reject my reasoning. Still, actions say otherwise. What actions? I'm glad you asked.

You started this, all of it, yet you act like it's all D's fault. You're loosing weight. You're super sensitive to people's comments. You're irritable and short tempered, with the kids and me. And it is not just you.

D is loosing weight. He is not eating right, causing him to have bad breath. He is irritable too, and probably short tempered at home just like you. He probably is blaming himself for what ever went wrong, although for the life of him he can not figure out what that was. He tries to reason, but without the facts he is simply frustrated, and worrying over something he has absolutely no control over.

Sound familiar? There is absolutely nothing he can do to make this better, except maybe go away, if that's what you really want. He is watching to see how you take the news.

So, now you see the actions I am seeing that make me believe, although they started out as simple little fun kisses, he grew to love you, and you to love him back. Argue, but I know what I see. I see heartache!

Ever think about Romeo & Juliet, what actually happened? Here it is in a nutshell. Romeo & Juliet fall in love. They felt desires, passions, hunger, and thrills. In most versions they kiss, but not much more. They're simply thrilled with the mutually felt love and desire and passions.

Then one of the couple is driven away, either by the other, or by family members. The bottom line is the lovers are forced apart, and suffer painful heartache! In these stories, the endings are always tragic. But they are just stories.

In the case of your romance, you have a chance to end things with a bit of tenderness and love. You have an opportunity to close this chapter in your life with good feelings and memories. And you know you have my heart felt blessings!

Here is what I would do if I were you. I would sit with my lover and hold her hands in mine. I would lean close and whisper, "I am sorry for making you feel so bad. I did it because I remember our kisses too, and knew if I let it get started again, I couldn't stop myself.

I feel guilty for kissing you, even though I started it by tempting you in the first place. I am torn when I am with you. I want to do what is right, but I also want to experience more with you. For this reason I drove you away, so I wouldn't be tempted.

Your advances were frustrating, because I was saying NO when I really wanted to say YES. It was so hard, and it made me angry. I took that anger out on you, on my kids, on my wife, and who knows who else.

I don't want to be friends, because you will always be more to me than just friends, and it is so frustrating being near you and knowing that I can never have you, if I am going to do what is right. Damn, it is hard to be good sometimes.

What I am trying to say is this. I love you, and wish you the best life has to offer you. I am sorry if I hurt you. I am sorry I tempted you. I am grateful for you giving me those moments I will always joyfully remember. I hope you can forgive me."

Now that's just me, and this is not to try telling you what to do. But if this were me, and I just got done telling, say, my old girlfriend Amy all this, I would ask her, "One last hug?" And if she was receptive, and I know the Amy I dated would be, I'd kiss her one last time with all the love, passion, and frustration I had built up over her! And all this would go into that one last heart felt kiss. And then I would say goodbye. Actually with Amy, because we had so much more than you and D had, we'd probably make it one last...

I believe in my case you would be jealous and pissed and frustrated, to the point of violence. But I am not jealous, as you very well know. I am grateful for what we have developed between us because of it. So in the scenario with me and Amy I'd kiss her goodbye. I would kiss her today Fe right now, and enjoy the thrill of it. This is as honest as I can be. (I hoped with this news a bit of jealousy might spur her into action)

But in this case, you being the ones saying goodbye, possibly doing one last kiss between lovers, even being as brief and as simple a romance as you two experienced, I believe it is not the time spent or the experiences shared, but the depth of the romance that is heart captivating, love developing. You two didn't do a lot, but like a fire that burns twice as hot, you felt the heat twice as deep inside.

We never kissed before we fell in love Fe, remember? Was that less meaningful to you, because it was without actual physical contact? Not for me!

I would love knowing you said your goodbyes with D in an effort to make both of you feel life's been good to you. I love you and want you to feel good about all of this! I want you to stop feeling the guilt. The end is here and he will be gone, for ever.

Ever hear the saying, "Like ships that passed in the night"? This is talking about lovers that experienced romance as it came and went, leaving them little more than memories. The question is, are those good memories, or bad?

Remember the movie Mamma Mia? That was all about two ships that passed in the night, a summer love that resulted in the daughter, finally resolving in a reconciliation of the true love felt by the couple. Remember?

You know me by now! I would have truly liked a re-blossoming of your romance. But I also love you and understand the frustration of dealing with guilt.

But think about the guilt you are going to have to deal with if you let D leave thinking you hate him. How did the stories go with the heart broken lovers. The tragedy would be to leave D's heart broken, and you suffering for being the monster that did that to him.

What do you feel? Still feel D is bad for desiring you? But you tempted him into wanting you. Still deny having any desires for him? But you're cranky, acutely aware of gossip, and loosing weight, plus you deny it constantly as if trying to convince yourself. (she agreed to all this)

What do you think D feels? He knows you tempted him, and wanted him, and enjoyed his desires for you for a while, because you continued offering him hugs knowing they were to become passionate heart felt wonderful kisses.

But, now you spurn him, making him feel it is all his fault! He knows he pursued you after you started his burning hunger for you, and you felt driven to kiss him as much as he to kiss you!

And now you act like it was all just his misunderstanding. He remembers acting the BIG-fool for you, and after all that you offered him another kiss, (that was in your opinion the best of all the kisses). But now you tell him to just forget it, like forgetting is just something simple, and he is just being stupid for not doing just that. Do you see him as stupid? (again she agreed with all this)

Of course, what he thought you felt for him was all in his head. All the hugs and kisses, the drives and passions, the teasing and playfulness, the biting of lips and sucking of tongues... all of that was nothing really! You Fe, realize they were just silly little things with no real passion or feelings to any of it. You were just using the boy to experiment. You really don't feel anything for that stinky breathed black boy. (she was saying, "No, no no," to all this)

But he'll realize this with time Fe. All you need to do is keep reminding D that he is bad and you hate him for all of this. Don't you agree? (she could see it was all true and she felt low!)

With a bit of reasoning he will come to see what you are trying to tell him, and D will come around to finally hate you too, just as much as you appear to hate him. And hate is the fire that consumes the one feeling it. You've felt it, and suffered the burns. Please don't make D hate you! Look at what you are doing and think!

Didn't you share a little love with him? Don't you want him to be happy? Don't you want to end this like Mamma Mia, and not like Romeo & Juliet? Don't you want him to remember those tender fun passionate moments with a smile, and not burning hatred for you? Wouldn't you like to remember him with a smile too? You can! Talk to him and tell him the truth, how you feel. And say goodbye, how ever you please.

I love you

Daddy

Now I am waiting to see if she does talk to him. He's been out all this week, suppose to be back Friday. I plan to wait till she has her chance to make peace. After that, after his last day at work, I plan to act like a pack dog and tell him how to find this story. I think I'll do that anyway, just to let him experience all this from a new light, right after he is gone and her last chance with him.

If there is to be a new story, one that grows out of this, it will have to be because he contacts me some day. I believe this move could be what was needed for expanding the playing field. See, at work there was exposure, gossip, rumors, egos, guilt, and morals.

But in the real world, we can have a getaway with alcohol and dancing, time to kiss for hours without worry of reprisal or exposure. How?

In our role-playing we came up with several scripts. I mentioned a couple in these chapters. Some involved going to a bar where I'd pick her up after she'd mingled with the crowd for a while.

But what if while waiting for me to show my ugly mug, Fe enjoyed a good stiff margarita loosening up her inhibitions. She's mingling with the crowd and looking hot! Then suddenly out of nowhere Black Dog the romancer picked her up like his bride, and spun her around onto the dance floor!

They rock, till a slow set began. Then held tight in his arms, Fe finally gets to dance close with D, and kiss him and experience him with all her desires combined with his. I'd love to watch their passion blossom into real fireworks from a stool at the bar!