Feral Ch. 01

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theDuskyGirl
theDuskyGirl
1,104 Followers

The blonde werewolf, Ethan, cursed flagrantly as he watched the girl take off recklessly on the cycle. She was going to get herself killed. He raced to the out of place Porsche convertible in the lot and quickly slid behind the wheel.

The other two, Nikolas and Trent, climbed into a Range Rover and took off after the Porsche.

Tianna leaned low as she sped around the curves of the road. The forest whizzed by to her right. She knew she was being followed. She could hear the squeal of tires and the sound of a high powered engine behind her.

But the bike could handle the curves better than the sports car and she slowly began to pull away. Tianna rounded a corner only to be find a semi truck pulling around the next upcoming corner, taking up both lanes.

Tianna braked hard, turning the bike towards the woods to her right. The front wheel caught a large boulder, sending her flying over the handlebars.

The impact with the ground jarred her body. Blood filled her mouth as she bit her tongue. She rolled to a halt and lay a moment writhing upon the ground in agony. She pulled the helmet from her head, rolled over onto her front and spat out the coppery bitter-tasting liquid. Pain ripped through her and she ached to her very bones.

Attempting to stifle a cry of pain, she came slowly to her knees and then agonizingly to her feet.

A small cry slipped past her lips as she tried to straighten. She was fairly certain her ribs were broken. Breathing was painful.

Carefully, doggedly, she stumbled through the woods. 'Please God,' she begged. 'Help me get out of this.'

The Porsche screeched to a halt in front of the stopped semi. Ethan jumped out, quickly taking in the truck taking up both lanes and the Ducati crumpled on the side of the road. He strode to the cab of the truck and yanked the startled driver who had just taken up the radio from the vehicle. Grabbed the startled man by the shirtfront and slammed him against the side of the truck.

Ethan was enraged. His voice came out in a low roar. "What did you do? Where is she?"

The man paled. "I'm sorry-I-I--"

Ethan lifted the man so that his toes scraped at the asphalt. "Did you not see the sign?" He growled. "The one that said 'No Trucks'?"

"I-I--"

"Where is she?" Ethan roared slamming the man back against the truck for emphasis.

The man whimpered. "I didn't mean to. She went off the side of the road and I saw her fly off the bike. She must be in the woods."

"Ethan!" Nikolas and Trent pulled up behind the Porsche. "You should probably let him go, man." Nikolas said in a low voice.

Ethan looked at the man trembling in his grasp with speculative disgust before dropping the man to the ground.

Ethan turned on his heel and strode toward the Ducati. He gazed down at the mangled bike, his hands on his lean hips. His sharp gaze searched the immediate woods beyond him. She was nowhere to be found. He felt relief streak through him. At least she was alive.

He turned to Nikolas and Trent. "Pull the cars off the road. I'll start tracking her," he jerked his head toward the truck driver, "and get him the hell out of here."

Ethan stepped into the shadow of the woods. His keen gaze caught sight of something shimmering upon the ground. Ethan bent and carefully touched the dark liquid. Blood. She was bleeding. She would be easier to track, but if she were bleeding heavily....Aaron would kill him if anything happened to the girl.

He stood and sniffed the air. Her scent was all around him. Her path was difficult to track. She'd woven in and out of the trees, crisscrossing her own path to distort her tracks.

'Smart girl,' he mused.

Nikolas and Trent were there beside him. "Fan out, split up," he said. "Try and find her. You know what to do"

Ethan tried as best he could to follow her scent. He could smell the others nearby. He moved silently through the trees. He could smell her fear, her panic, her pain. She was in a lot of pain. And he felt his own panic rising. He had to find her.

theDuskyGirl
theDuskyGirl
1,104 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
20 Comments
St0rMiESt0rMiEalmost 11 years ago
Ohhhh...

This is gonna be good! :D

dirtytezdirtytezover 11 years ago
Sorry but wrong

Cornering is where bikes, although very exciting, will never be able to corner like a good car. Just not enough rubber or weight transfer ability. Acceleration, on a good surface yes.

malicious_rabbitmalicious_rabbitover 12 years ago
some notes

hey there, like the plot and the characters - but as we're all always trying to get better... some thoughts:

1. nice first paragraph but what is with the CV? You're bludgeoning the reader with facts and at times one almost feels like reading a relationship report on her parents - don't shoot all your ammo in the beginning but dive right into the story! this will a) draw the reader into the story b) keep your hero interesting and a little mysterious.

2.

"That was before Tianna had nearly deprived him of her entrails before" - avoid repetition

"the man behind her never missing a step or lost contact".

never missed or lost contact /never missing or losing contact

""Little one? You're not answering.""

what is with the question marks?

"and yanked the startled driver who had just taken up the radio from the vehicle. Grabbed the startled man"

doesn't the grabbing occur before the yanking?

"she were bleeding heavily.."

was

"Ethan tried as best he could to follow her scent. He could smell the others nearby."

... so what? the last sentence is superfluous, it has no consequence for the story, you might as well have written "the trees had leaves"

well, now that I've made myself a pain in the ass and mentioned lots of things you probably know yourself already, let me repeat - I really liked it but you could be so much better.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Sigh. Are you going to actually finish this one?

Why are you starting another story when you have yet to finish your others? I love your stories, you have great talent and engaging storylines, yet you do all of your loyal readers and yourself a disservice by not ending them. I understand that life gets in the way, but please finish what you start. Reading your stories is like getting into a relationship that you know has no future, it's waste of time and pointless.

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