Fever Ch. 04

Unfortunately, the side effects of the red wine, made my head pound. Pushing my body up from the couch and going to the cd player, I pushed the stop button and made my way into the kitchen. I glanced around and groaned.

How long had it been since I even touched the dishes? I didn't know. I wasn't sure. Normally my father was the one who did them since he was the one who still fancied African food dishes.

Don't ask me why, because I didn't understand. I'd long ago squelched any taste for human food. I didn't eat anything outside of liquids. I only needed to feed every so often. Exhaling sharply, I closed my eyes and leaned against the refrigerator.

I put my hands up to my forehead ready to make a complaint when I heard a voice. I felt my heart pump profusely in my chest and dread fill me. I could hear the laugh. Dark, cynical, horrible. A male's voice. Shutting it out. I thought about the one thing that always made me calm. Tavis.

~ ~
Tavis:

I closed my eyes, struck with a deep sense of longing. My sister was right, there was no way that girl would be interested in me. There was no way she'd even consider for a second a guy like me, a ten year old. I envisioned that curly afro, so soft and thick as cotton, beautiful high cheekbones and a delicate yet wide nose.

I felt the smile form as I was able to see those beautiful full lips of hers, a vision of perfection in my eyes. Once again, I was able to recall her figure. I couldn't help but wonder what her name was. That dark brown skin of hers was so flawless, as if it had been dipped in the sweetest dish of chocolate. I exhaled sharply and could actually smell the scent of...grapes?

This withdrew a laugh from me. Peaches, why was I smelling grapes? It was then I could hear a voice whisper in my name. It was faint like the softest breeze on a warm day. So faint, that you'd almost miss it if you didn't pay attention. I did the one thing I felt to do. My mind whispered back.

Tavis? The voice inquired, almost unsure of herself. I was amazed at how much I could feel with every word she spoke. It had my heart going crazy, thumping all over the place. Am I really talking to someone in my head? I asked, not believing it.

Yes. The voice spoke back. I found myself laughing at this. She laughed as well and the sound was more beautiful to me than the brightest ray of sunshine. It actually lifted my heart to hear her laugh like that. It was such a carefree sound.
What's your name? I whispered.
Ayanna. She replied back.
How do you know my name? I inquired.
We met before, but I never got the chance to tell you mine. She whispered.

Ayanna? Perfect. At-least I have a name to go with a beautiful vision. This time I imagined her as she was that night. Standing right here in front of me.

Would you like to see me? I heard her whisper, her tone shy. I thought to myself what did she have to be shy about? She was the older girl. She answered softly, I've never been around any guy other than my dad. You are welcome to come here if you like.

I whispered. Although most guys would have been shocked I'd surmised that since I could communicate with her, there was not a chance of her being human. I heard her speak as if she was in front of me, “You're right.”

I felt the smile began right inside my heart and then emerge on my face as I stared at the older young woman in front of me. She was even prettier than I remembered. I felt my heart melt like butter. She furrowed her brows. “That's a weird expression.” I laughed, “What is?”
“Your heart melting like butter.”

“That's the only way to describe it.” I stated as she sat down at my desk. I continued to stare at her features. Her hair had been braided back into two french braids and she'd tacked on little barrets at the ends. There it go again. There was so much about her that suggested a young age. She smiled, “The day I was turned, was my seventeenth birthday.”
“So you're a vampire.”
She nodded yes. I smiled. “Awesome.” I knew she could see the twinkle in my eyes. She exhaled. “Not really.”
“Yes really,” I replied, sitting up on my bed. The more I stared at her, the more I felt that fire began to burn in my belly. Seeing her just made me want to be one with a passion. “It's difficult Tavis, being a vampire.”

I didn't respond. Maybe it was for her but I knew that living with my family wasn't a struggle for us. We had everything we needed. Most importantly though, we had each other. Well, maybe not Olivia, but we had each other. I sighed, “How did you speak to me?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “When I think of you it makes me happy.” This she said without realizing it slipped out so carelessly.
“How often do you think of me?” I asked, my gaze on hers.

She stared at me and then shrank back, her gaze straying from mine. I said, “I guess that's a question you don't like asked.”

She shrugged, standing up. “I have to go.”
I stood up, not too short from her. She was atleast five nine. I was just reaching five four. “Are you ok?”
“Yes.”
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked, feeling some type of anxiousness settle in.
“No, but...I have to go.” She stated, taking a step back.
“Do you think I'm too young for you?” I asked, my eyes, locking on hers. She stayed where she was. The air was so static between us, that it felt as if there was a thousand bolts going from me to her. It almost felt as if the atmosphere changed. She inhaled sharply, “No. I'm not concerned of your age.”
I furrowed my brows confused, “No?”
“No.”
“Why not?”

She began to fidget with her hands. Now I sensed something was wrong. How can all go so wrong in one conversation? And I still don't know how she knew my name since I'd never told her. “It doesn't because you are so much older than you appear.”
“Is there something wrong?” I asked, motioning to her hands she'd been clasping and unclasping. “No.” She answered, “I just...I have to go. Bye.” With that she was gone.
~ ~
I stood there in my room confused, and completely baffled by her reaction. I thought it was weird that she would want to be around me one minute and have to leave the next minute. I'd never had that effect on a girl. I still didn't know why she was cool with my age or even why she hadn't even answered my question about how she knew my name. I sat back on my bed, pondering all of this as I waited for some sort of explanation to come up in my mind.

What frustrated me more was the heightened of emotions when I was around her. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest at any second. Anxiety settled over me and I felt like I wanted to stay by her, almost like I needed to be by her. I also wanted to ask her any and everything.

As my mind wandered on these things, I thought about what little I did know about her. Her name was Ayanna, she was a vampire, and the reason she appeared younger was because the day of her seventeenth birthday was when she'd been turned. So in reality her mindset was still sixteen years old. It was almost as if she'd completely frozen in time.

She didn't seem like a typical kid, but she did have an innocence about a lot of things. I wondered if she had a father. Did she have a mother? If not, I wanted to know what happened to them. I wondered what it must be like for her to be alone all of these years?

As I listened to the mellowing out of my own heart, these questions began to lead in other directions. It was as if we were both trapped. Her in a childhood, and me in kidulthood; if you could call it that.
~ ~

Ayanna:

I was heart broken. My heart was totally crushed and the tears I'd been holding back finally came to the surface. Why, of all times did I choose a mate? Why did I choose him? Why didn't my father explain to me that when you found the one that you wanted, your heart hurt because you knew that someone else was determined to have you?

As I found myself back in my home, I sank down to the floor above the window and sat there just thinking about how much I wanted so badly to be free. Be free of Caduceus and his oppressing weight, be free of my father's pain. My father was a man who knew more pain than any other vampire I'd always known. He'd loved my mother with every breath he took.

She was his life. He loved her more than anything in this world and for her to be taken left him in a state of despondence. He would often times get caught up in brooding moods around moon festivals, certain holidays native to our culture and most importantly around my mother's dates of birth and death.

There were times where I could hear him crying, feel the anguish and pain he suffered because although he'd put up a wall, the pain would spring forth like rivers of water. As I thought about this, I thought whether or not it would be fair to put Tavis through this.

I thought about whether or not it would be right to get acquainted with him now, even though I wasn't sure I'd live beyond what was expected of me. I didn't want to cause him any pain. I didn't want him to be miserable. I was thinking perhaps it would be better if we didn't continue seeing one another.

Ayanna?
Yes, father?
Don't worry about me. I will be fine.
I shook my head, no. He wouldn't be fine, this I knew.
Stay with the young man you have chosen.
I shook my head no. I have to make sure that you are alright.
You deserve some happiness Sweet Ayanna. Ayanna smiled at the pet name he'd given her when she was a baby.
But you are my happiness.

I could feel the warmth that had developed in his heart. One thing I never doubted, nor would I ever doubt was his love. Even admist the pain my father always loved me, he always made it known. He'd spent decades protecting me, learning as much as he could about this world, teaching me as he learned to adjust to what was happening. He was the reason that although I'd lost a lot, I hadn't lost who I was or what made me me. My father made it known that I was worth more to him than anything.

Especially him going up there the way he had. Inhaling sharply, I made a decision to go. I would go and offer myself in his place. Although I could hear my father telling me no, begging me to live out my days, I couldn't help but wonder what type of daughter would I be to live out my happiness only to hand him over to someone we both hated.